I was planning on just writing a quick one-shot to take a short break from Puppy Love. Just a little something to clear the head so I could focus. 30 pages later... It's long enough that I considered breaking it into multiple chapters, but then decided against it. This is a one-shot, so there will be no sequel. I like the way I ended it. It took me three tries to find an ending I liked. I hope you like it as well, and the rest of the story too.
Minkao dropped her head into her hands with a frustrated sob. She was tired, and just so worn out. She had a dead end job, didn't talk much to her parents, and was living hours away from the nearest of her best friends. They had all separated after high school, going off to live their lives. The one thing she had going for her was her boyfriend.
At least, she considered him the best thing in her life. She still wasn't sure what he thought of her.
He told her he loved her, but she never really felt it. The words always felt flat, like it was just something he said because he had to. She didn't want to be with someone that didn't lover her as much as she loved him.
Because she did love him. She loved him with every bit of her heart and soul, every fibre of her being. She would do anything for him. He had only to ask. She had moved with him when he'd come out this way for work, quitting her job at the advertising agency to follow him here. Here, where she'd only ever been able to get a receptionist job at his company, and only that because he asked.
That seemed to be when the trouble had started. Suddenly she felt like she wasn't such a big factor in his life. He already knew that if he told her to jump, she'd be in the air before she even bothered to ask what direction. She was utterly devoted to him, and he felt secure in that.
She didn't.
Nothing about her situation made her feel secure. In fact, everything about her situation was tearing her to pieces, and only her single-minded adoration of him was keeping her together. She wondered how long something even as strong as her love could bind her together. Eventually she would crumble, wash away like a sand castle with the tide, leaving only an empty husk in her place.
Would he even notice?
She hugged herself as she cried. He was going to be late home from work again. She could sob for hours and still have time to make him something warm before he got home. That was how much time they spent together.
He didn't seem to care.
"I'm home." He said, walking through the door.
"I'm glad. How was work?" She asked, taking a moment to assess the potent masculine beauty of her man. Kunzite's long, flowing platinum blonde hair and icy blue-violet eyes made him look as imposing as an ice statue. He had a strong face, with just enough delicacy to look vaguely fey, almost otherworldly. He was tall, with broad shoulders and narrow hips. He was powerfully muscled, but the severe cut of his suit served to refine his brute strength into something even more imposing. The most impressive thing about him, however, was his presence. It was a force that made women swoon and men wilt without any effort on his part.
"Fine. It was work." He said distractedly, already pushing past her open arms to head to the dining room where his dinner was waiting. The expression on his face was about as welcoming as the ice she had compared him to seconds ago. She felt another piece of her heart break as he walked by.
She followed him into the dining room, taking her own place and beginning to eat. He ignored every attempt to start a conversation. The only thing he did say, upon seeing her plate ready too, was a frowning, "I've told you before that you don't have to wait for me before you eat. It's rather late."
"I know." She responded simply, repeating things she'd said to him time and again. "I prefer it this way. I'd rather we eat together." He just grunted and pulled some papers out of his briefcase, reading them while he ate. Minako retreated to her own meal, feeling very small and insecure.
The feeling didn't go away all evening. After they ate she gathered the dishes and washed them, her mind taking her back to after she'd first moved in with him, back before the move. When she was still near her friend Rei, who still lived in the place they grew up. Back to when he used to dry the dishes after she washed them so she could be done sooner. So they could spend more time together. Tears dripped down her face as she scrubbed harder than required at the dishes in front of her. Later she would be grateful that she didn't break anything while cleaning.
Her face streaked with red, she knew she couldn't join him watching a documentary now. Not if she wanted to keep her pride. Instead she took herself off to the shower, ruthlessly strangling the memories of when he would join her and they would drain the hot water tank.
She towel dried her hair and pulled it back in a braid to keep it out of her face. She reached for her pj's, then paused. Instead she drew out a teddy the same colour as eyes. He had gotten in for her for his birthday their second year. His present, he had explained, was for her to wear it all weekend. Neither had arrived rested to the office on that Monday.
She drew it over her head and went to join him. If she couldn't entice him to talk to her, maybe she could tempt him with something else. He looked up briefly as she entered, eyes lingering on her legs. Then he held one arm out and helped her settle against him as he went back to learning more than she ever wanted to know about absolute zero.
She held back her tears stubbornly. She would not cry in front of him. He wouldn't understand, and it would separate them further. She would not cry.
Kunzite glanced at the blonde cuddled up next to him as he felt a fine tremor pass through her. "Silly." He chided softly, moving her from next to him to sitting on his lap, pulled flush against his chest. "It's been too cold recently for this, lovely as it looks. Come here." He wrapped his arms around her, feeling perfectly content as she fisted her hands in his shirt.
He continued watching the documentary, his mind occupied with thoughts of his work. Finally the show was done and he was settled enough for sleep. He nudged Minako, letting her know it was time to go upstairs. All he got in response was a sleepy murmur as she snuggled deeper into him. He felt a tender smile grow on his face as he realized she was asleep. He gently gathered her up and carried her up to their room.
He slid her under the covers gently, pulling them up to tuck around her as she sighed breathily and curled up facing his side of the bed. He went downstairs quickly to lock the doors and turn out the lights before pulling his clothes off and joining her between the sheets.
His dreamy grin became possessive as she mumbled his name and pulled him closer, placing a soft kiss on his collarbone. He clutched her tighter as she fought to wake up enough to get her intentions across. Considering what she had chosen to wear, it didn't take him long to understand and give her what she wanted, and they both drifted to sleep later, tangled up in each other.
Minako woke slowly. It was the weekend, and she was hoping it would be a good one. Her hand groped blindly next to her, looking for the body that should be lying there. There was not even any heat left on the sheets, and she came fully awake with a gasp before groaning and flopping onto her back, the covers tangled around her. This was going to be a bad weekend.
She pulled herself out of the bed and went looking, hoping against hope that he was working on his project motorcycle or something. What she found was a note of the table, obviously sprawled hastily.
Bad news. Company needs me this weekend. My assistant's sent my measurements ahead, and I'll just pick up new clothing when I'm at headquarters. Can you take care of my dry-cleaning? I'll see you Sunday, or Monday after work at the latest.
Minako just stared at the note before bursting into tears. It was their five year anniversary on Monday, and she'd been planning an early celebration. Now it was debatable that they'd celebrate it at all.
Kunzite spent the whole flight thinking about the girl he'd left curled up in their bed this morning. He hadn't wanted to leave her. He never did. However, work called, and if he wanted to be able to give her the life she deserved, he needed to work hard. He had seriously considered waking her up to say goodbye, but he hadn't. Kunzite hated goodbyes. Plus if she'd been awake it would have been even harder to leave her than while she's tucked up and smiling.
He also didn't like the thought of spending the whole weekend with his personal assistant. The woman was a whiz at her job, but he hated how she was after him like a bitch in heat. He had his Minako, and that was all he ever wanted. He couldn't wait until this project was done and he could spend more time with her. Only a couple more weeks. He promised silently. Then I've got us booked on a surprise vacation. A late anniversary gift. Just a few more weeks…
His thoughts stayed on his girlfriend during the whole flight, completely unaware she was currently bawling her eyes out, curled up on the kitchen floor.
"Well, Happy Anniversary." Minako mumbled to herself. It was nine o'clock, and his note had implied he would be back around five, six at the latest. She was sitting at their table, the meal before her getting cold. There were candle out and she was using the china and silverware that her friends had given her as a housewarming gift. Everything had been set out for a special evening.
Which she was spending alone.
She sighed, tears pricking her eyes. She wiped at them distractedly with the back of her hand, uncaring of her carefully applied makeup. The phone ringing startled her out of her reverie.
She went and picked it up mechanically. "Hullo?" She asked dully, not really caring what it was but grateful for the distraction.
*Minako? Hey, it's me. There's been more trouble here, and I won't be able to make it back tonight. I'll probably be here all week.*
Minako went rigid upon hearing his words, the last thing she wanted to hear out of his mouth right now. She opened her mouth a few times before she could get her voice to work. "Oh." She finally said, unable to force anything else out.
*I'm sorry about this. I didn't call earlier because I hoped that we could get it sorted and I'd still be able to make it home. Then something else blew up in our faces, and we have more work to do. You understand, right?*
"Yes." She replied, working on autopilot. "I understand. Work needs you. I'm fine."
*Alright, I have to run now. We're still technically in a meeting, but I wanted to call you myself. Happy Anniversary, sweetheart.*
He hung up before she could form a reply. Well at least he remembered our anniversary. She thought wryly, not even noticing the tears dripping down her face. Then she crumpled, sobs wracking her body. He knew, and still he couldn't come. Yes, she could understand his work was important, but still…
Aren't I important too, Kunzite? Don't I deserve some time and attention too? She thought, her mind whirling. Don't you love me as much as I love you? You told me you love me, but were they just words to you?
With that thought, she went to the computer and typed out and printed out a document she had been considering, but hadn't been able to bring herself to create. She was dying inside, and she wanted the pain to stop.
Wanted even the love to stop, if that would save her.
"Are you sure about this, Minako? There aren't a lot of jobs in this city, you know." Her friend gazed at her with worried eyes from behind the Human Resources desk she was sitting at. This was no social call.
"I'm sure, Soma." She responded, smiling weakly. "I don't like the receptionist job. I'm not happy working it, especially since everyone knows the only reason they hired another receptionist was because Kunzite asked. I'll find something, I'm sure."
Soma was worried about her friend. She had taken a liking to the bubbly blonde the first day she had seen her. However, she had watched the light that shone from within her dim the longer she was here. It was obvious to Soma that what made her friend special was fading, dying. And she wanted to strangle Kunzite for not noticing.
"Alright, luv. If you're sure. Would you like me to keep it quiet?" She asked, ready to support her friend the only way she could. She didn't think Minako wanted everyone to know she'd given her two weeks' notice. Especially since then they would have to deal with the smugness of Kunzite's assistant, once she got back from HQ.
"That would be wonderful." Minako responded eagerly, the light coming back to her eyes for a second. "That's exactly what I wanted, but I didn't want to ask you for it." She leaned over the desk to give her friend a spontaneous hug.
Soma hugged he back, wondering if two weeks would be the last time anyone here saw Minako.
Well, he's been gone all week. Minako thought dryly. He hasn't even called me to see how I'm doing. I hope he lets me know what flight he's coming in on. Then I can give him my news in person.
Her phone rang, and she ran over to answer it, hoping it was him. "Hello?"
*Minako! Oh, it's been so long, girl! I haven't talked to you in forever. How are you doing?*
She throttled her disappointment firmly. She had missed her friend Makoto since the girl and her husband had moved to the city where her company's headquarters are. Nephrite had gotten a job there directly, and Mako had opened a restaurant nearby. Last she'd heard, both were doing well and a baby was on the way.
"I'm good. Things are quiet here, except for that big project Kunzite's doing. It's taking up most of his time."
*That's the one he's in town working on, isn't it? I can't believe that someone forgot to confirm details with that vendor. That was supposed to have been done months ago. Now they've got to get everything set up last minute, which means the vendor has the upper hand in the negotiations. That's why they need Kunzite, I'm sure. He's the best negotiator they have. I'm sure it must be a huge pain for you. Why didn't you come with him?*
Minako was stunned. Nephrite wasn't even working on the project, and his wife knew more about it than her. She was sleeping with the project leader, and didn't have a clue. She knew Kunzite talked less than a surly teenager, but this was a bit much. With an effort, she pulled herself back into the conversation with her friend.
"I had to work too, Mako. Plus, what would I have done while he was working?"
*Hung out with me.* Came the prompt response. *And played with the baby. She's two months now. I haven't talked to you since before she was born. Nephrite called and got Kunzite while we were spreading the news. We have a lot to catch up on. And I know with that sweet, bubbly attitude of yours you could have convinced them to do without you while your guy was gone. Anyway, are you going to come visit this weekend?*
"I... uh… hadn't planned on. Why?" Minako asked, slightly confused.
*Well, I thought since things were taking so long Kunzite's staying a little longer. At least, that's what he told Nephrite earlier. He's coming for a visit quickly tomorrow, so I wanted to know if you wanted to come too.*
Minako blinked. He was staying longer and had told his friend before her? She could feel the hurt welling up inside of her, but squashed it. "That sounds great. What time would be good for me to show up?"
*How early can you get here? I can leave the baby with Nephrite for a bit and we can shop in the morning, and then go to the children's festival in the afternoon. Kunzite can meet us there. Then you can stay till Sunday evening, if you don't mind Sakura crying in the middle of the night. She sleeps most nights, but she always saves a special two AM wake up for guests.*
She laughed, not surprised any child of those two had a weird sense of humour. "I can do that. I'll be there at nine, let's say. That's what I'll aim for, at least."
*That's great! I can't wait to see you again!* Her friend was almost drowned out by the sudden wail that accompanied the words. *Uh oh, the slave driver's calling. I gotta run. I'll see you tomorrow.*
"Bye, Mako. I'll see you then." Minako smiled as she hung up the phone. She couldn't wait to see her friend again. She focussed on that thought, pushing her opinion of Kunzite's attitude to the side.
She ran upstairs to pack, throwing some of her most comfortable clothes in her bag. She was going to be playing with a baby, after all. Good to have plenty of durable clothing for that. She also threw something sexy in as well, just in case Kunzite was free for dinner. She'd hate to have an opportunity to spend time together with him only having suits and her only sweats.
She'd finished packing her clothes and had moved on to her cosmetics when the phone rang again. She charged down the stairs, almost tripping herself on a shirt that had wrapped itself around her legs in the process. She braced herself on the hall table before hopping on one leg into the living room, untangling the shirt as she went. She grabbed the phone and gasped out "Hello?", laughter in her voice.
A soft chuckle that shook her from her toes up met her breathless greeting. *And what are you up to over there? Sounds like you're having fun.* Strange how even knowing she wasn't going to see the owner of this voice at home for another few days couldn't even shake her cheer.
"I'm packing!" She responded perkily. "I get to see baby Sakura tomorrow! Mako just called and invited me. Then I almost fell down the stairs due to a hitchhiking shirt. I managed to get it off my pants, thought, despite static's best efforts.
He laughed then, missing her all the more for the sunny smile he could hear in her voice. *So Mako already gave you a call, eh?*
"Yup. She told me about what's been going on there. That must be a huge pain."
She heard him release his breath in a sharp sound that was intended as a laugh. *That doesn't even begin to describe it. I tried calling earlier, but you were out. What else did she tell you?"
Her voice lost its bounce. "That you have to stay longer. But I understand. They need you. But I'll get to see you tomorrow while I'm there, right?"
*Right.* He responded. *I can't wait till this is over and I can be back there with you. I was just calling to tell you about that, so I've got to go, alright?*
"Alright."
*Bye.*
"I love you, Kunzite." She said, but he had already hung up. She hung her head, her good mood gone.
The time with Mako and Nephrite had shot by, but this dinner was dragging on. Minako was worried about that. It was just her and Kunzite, together for the first time in a week, and neither could think of anything to say.
At least, she couldn't. Kunzite didn't even seem interested in trying to talk to her. Finally the meal was over, and they were heading over to where their cars were. They had met at the restaurant, after Kunzite was needed halfway through the afternoon and had cut his visit short.
Minako didn't want this evening to end. She wasn't ready to leave him again. Suddenly she saw a club a block or so further down. Her eyes lit up, and her smile retuned for the first time since she'd left Mako's house. "Let's go dancing." She said, excited.
Kunzite glanced at her, then away. If he took her dancing right now, they weren't going to say goodbye until the last possible second before he had to go to work. If he hadn't had a roommate he'd have caved right then.
"No."
She blinked at him, unsure of himself. He used to love dancing with her. At least, he told her he did. "But we haven't gone dancing in so long." She said, unwilling to just leave it where it was.
"I have work in the morning." Came the clipped reply.
"When don't you?" She muttered under her breath, before returning to normal conversation tones to continue her assault. "We don't have to stay long. Just an hour or so. It'll be fun."
"I said no. An hour won't stay an hour, and I have responsibilities." He couldn't afford to let everyone know he was as human as the rest. The slight awe his coworkers had for him was more effective for unnerving vendors than anything else they could contrive. A night of wild sex with the girl he loved, as much as his body and heart were craving it, was out of the question. Understand, please. One more week, and I'll take you dancing till you can't walk, then love you till you're too exhausted to even think of leaving bed.
Of course, he never told her any of this. She wrenched herself out of his arms and spun to face him, hands on her hips, eyes narrowed. "You're gone for a full week, and when I finally get some time with you, you just eat and leave? No conversation? No cuddling? No dancing? Nothing? What was the point of this date then? You may as well be a cardboard cut-out for all the interaction I've gotten out of you for a while!"
She was furious. Meeting with her friend had rekindled her normal spark, and her anger had fanned it to a blazing fire. She may not be some big company hotshot, but dammit, she was a human being and deserved respect!
However, he was harbouring resentment just as fresh and raw as hers. He was angry at his coworkers, his assistant, and his boss. He was furious with the amount of time things were taking, and was annoyed at the fact that he couldn't even have nights with his girlfriend at the moment. Now he suddenly had an outlet yelling at him, and it all boiled over.
"Hey, I'm doing my best for us here! It's things like this that allow us to have our house, our cars, our comfortable lifestyle! Yes I'm busy, but it's only for a short while! You can be so demanding at times! You have no clue how much extra work I'll have to put in if I put up with your selfish demands now!"
"Selfish?" She growled. "I'm selfish? I do everything I can to make things easier for you, but you won't even tell me what's happening in your life! You leave for a week and the only communication I get from you are two minute long calls! You didn't even say goodbye! How far away from you do I have to be before you notice? It doesn't seem to make a difference to you if I'm on your lap or the other hemisphere!"
That struck home, and Kunzite felt a flash of guilt. However, his anger turned it into more unjustified verbal attacks. "You don't seem to care much either way! I say I'll be out and you just shrug like it doesn't even matter! I…" He trailed off as he took in her stance. She was standing with her feet shoulder width apart, her toes curled up and ready for flight on those delicate looking shoes she was wearing. Her hands were clenched and shaking. Sometime during his yelling she had dropped her head forward, so her bangs obscured her face. He could tell from the sparkle rapidly falling to the street, however, that she was crying. His body and voice softened, racked with guilt over what he'd just said to her. He reached out for her. "Minako… I…"
She slapped his hands away as they approached her. "No good." She muttered. "It's too late. No good. Leave me alone. I don't want to talk to you right now."
He continued to close the distance, but she stumbled back, almost falling over on her heels. "Leave me alone!" She screamed at him, before dropping to her knees on the ground and hugging herself. "It's what you're good at. Just leave me alone."
He stared at the girl huddled before him and cursed silently. He was torn between his remaining anger telling him to leave like she'd demanded, and his heart begging him to stay. Finally he dropped his suit jacket over shoulders before leaving, his back rigid and his face set.
Minako just continued to sob, barely aware of the pain in her knees or the jacket on her shoulders. All she could feel was her misery.
"What happened to you!" Makoto exclaimed as her friend stumbled through the door. He husband just stared at the bedraggled girl as if he'd never seen her before in his life.
Minako was hunched over, clutching a suit jacket to her tiny frame as she shook with sobs. There were branches in her tangled hair and mud all over her feet and shoes. Her knees were bleeding, and her face was blotchy from tears. Her nose was even running. She looked at her friend with hopeless eyes. "I told him to leave, and he did." She said, her voice curiously dead despite the sobs.
Mako poked her husband in the chest, waking him from his stupor. "You. Leave. Stay with your golf buddy tonight."
He nodded and grabbed his keys, still shocked at what had just happened. Mako grabbed his shirt just before he left and pressed a furious kiss to his lips. "I'll see you in the morning, okay?"
He nodded and she shooed him out the door with a smile. Then she turned back to her friend, who had collapsed in the hall, crying on the floor. He smile disappeared and she helped the girl to her feet after taking her shoes off. "Come on, into the shower for you. After you're clean we'll talk. I have ice cream."
Minako nodded and did as she was told, still crying.
Kunzite's roommate had fled the room after he had stormed back in, all the fury of a hurricane on his face. Without anyone to rip a strip off of, he contented himself with pounding on the bed viciously. Sheets and pillows were flung around the room indiscriminately. Eventually he exhausted himself and collapsed onto the bed, only to lie spread eagle in the center and stare and the ceiling.
Stupid, stupid, stupid! His mind berated him. You made her cry, you jerk! You hurt her! You were supposed to protect her from pain! Now look at the mess you've made of things!
He chased himself around in circles like that, feeling guiltier by the second. It wasn't Minako that he was even angry with. It was everyone else, who were keeping him from Minako. His last through before passing into a fitful slumber was a promise to fix everything with her. Soon.
"Thanks for your help, Soma. I don't think I would have been able to manage this myself." Minako said, looking at the stuff before her in shock. "I didn't know I had this much stuff. And most of it's just clothing."
She had spent a tear-filled night with Mako before coming home early on Sunday. Still lost, she had called up her friend Soma. That was when she got the confirmation of what she had feared. She was dying inside. Had been since she'd come here. Mako hadn't said it, hadn't wanted to admit it. Soma just wanted it fixed.
"Are you sure you don't want any of it?" Soma asked, concerned.
Minako shook her head. "I already packed two suitcases of clothes that are coming with me. That and all my little things like teddy bears and books are all I can fit in the trunk of my car. I don't know where I'm going, so I can't make plans for getting this there."
Soma frowned. "I told you that I'd be willing to store it until you get settled. I may steal some of the outfits in the meantime, but isn't that what friends are for?" She ended with a chuckle, evaporating the tension slowly forming.
Minako shook her head. "Most of what I left is full of memories of Him. I don't want to keep things like that. If I'm going to start fresh, I should do it right, with my only baggage what I have in the trunk of my car."
Her friend nodded, understanding. "Well, I think that's done then. Are you sure you don't even want to wait to take the stuff to the consignment store yourself? You could probably use the money."
Minkao shook her head. "I don't want to stay any longer than I have. And I have enough money for now. I haven't really spent a lot since I moved here. I already had clothes suitable for my job and didn't really have anyone to shop with."
Soma laughed at this. It was a running joke in the office that she would break out in hives if she ever entered a mall. She was one of those few women who hated shopping. "Well, sorry to rain on your parade, you clothes horse!"
Minako laughed with Soma. "It's a good thing now. Can you imagine how many more boxes we would have needed?"
After the laughter died down, Soma gathered Minako into a tight hug. "I'll miss you. I'll miss you so much. Give me a call sometime, after you're settled."
"You know I will." Minako responded, holding her friend close. "Thanks for being so honest with me yesterday. I needed that. And don't let Kunzite bully you. This was my choice."
"Hunh. I can take him. He hurt you. That gives me all the ammunition I could ever need."
There were tears in her eyes later, when he friend drove off waving. Then she turned back to the boxes. She kicked one lightly. "Great. Now you get to clutter my living room for the next few days. I wish the store could come get you sooner."
The negotiations had gone faster after Saturday. People caved before Kunzite quickly, just to escape the feeling that they were only seconds from being slowly dismembered. His reputation for being a cold bastard was being enhanced by the second.
Kunzite didn't care anymore. He wrapped up the negotiations in record time, and didn't even wait for the formal announcement before booking himself a spot on the next flight back. He was impatient to be home. At this point, if his only choices were to walk home in a blizzard or stay another night he'd have his shoes on before anyone got around to saying the second option. All he could think of was the pain in his girlfriend's eyes the last time he saw her. He wanted to take that pain away. Now. No, not now. Yesterday. Or even the day he put it there. He wanted to hold her, to promise to make it better, to convince her he really did love her.
He hadn't called ahead to tell her he was coming. He was sure she didn't want to speak with him. Besides, he needed to tell her things he couldn't say over the phone. Things that weren't said right over the phone. He just needed to talk to her, needed her.
He ran into his assistant as he was leaving the hotel. The woman smiled at him coquettishly, trying to tempt him the same way she had at every opportunity ever since she was assigned to him. He ignored it, as normal. However, she wasn't happy leaving it at a glance, she hooked his arm and pulled him close, smiling up at him. "You were amazing the last few days. Really incredible. I can't believe what you've managed to accomplish in such a short time. You really are an amazing person. Now that the work's done, care for a drink? You look like you could use one."
"No." He responded, voice clipped. "My flight's leaving soon." He started to head to the doors again, the girl still hanging off of him.
"Now? But they're having a big party tonight! Won't that be fun? I can't believe you're willing to miss that. Word has it CEO and President will both be there! You could meet them. Why are you passing this chance up? You're the hero of the night!" She whined, trying to convince him to stay.
Kunzite took a deep breath before untangling himself from her hold and turning to look at her. "Listen to me closely. You are my assistant. You are nothing more. You will never be anything more. I have the most wonderful person in the world waiting for me, and I haven't gotten to spend much time with her in months, and almost none in weeks. I am leaving now, and I don't care who is going to the party. It could be Julius Cesar risen from the dead especially to talk to me and I wouldn't miss seeing her to meet him. Got that? Now leave me the hell alone!"
With that he stormed out of the hotel, leaving the girl and everyone else in the lobby staring after him.
She wasn't at work. Why wasn't she at work? Kunzite asked himself as he flew down the street towards his house. He'd been planning on abducting her from the office, but she hadn't been there. Please don't let her be home, hurting. Please let her be alright!
He finally reached his house. He ran up the stairs to the front door, then paused. For some reason he couldn't explain, he couldn't bring himself to open the door. Finally he pulled his keys out and opened the place up. Something kept nagging at him, something that wasn't right, but he ignored the sensation for now.
The place was almost unnaturally clean. There were no cups left out, no books scattered around the place. Minako almost always left things where she'd finished with them. He went through the house quickly, not seeing her anywhere. Finally he entered the living room, about to call and make sure she wasn't in the hospital or something. His subconscious was in full panic mode, though his forebrain hadn't caught up with what was wrong yet. As he reached for the phone, his eyes fell on an envelope on the coffee table, and the bottom dropped out of his world.
He sunk to the couch, looking at the white thing that filled him with such panic. Slowly, fearfully, he picked it up. It was meant for him. Not only did he know that deep down, but it said so in bold letters on the front.
Kunzite
He stared at it for a moment before opening it up and flicking the letter inside open. He took a deep breath, and then started to read.
By now you've probably figured it out. I left. I wish I was brave enough to tell you in person, but I'm not. You would ask me to stay, and I would. You could ask me to do anything and I would. I'd die for you. And that's what I've been doing since we moved here.
I'm not happy here. I don't like the job, I don't like many of the people, I miss my friends, and I don't like who you've become. I was your partner before. Your lover. Now I feel like a mixture of housekeeper and whore. Seeing you draw away like you have hurt.
Actually, a lot of things have been hurting me recently. I have felt for a long time now like a pile of jagged shards, each cutting and chipping the others, only tied together by my love for you. That's the only thing I had anymore that meant anything to me. Just the knowledge that I loved you.
It was you I wasn't sure about. You say you love me, but I haven't felt that love in a long time. It felt like it was just something you said because you were supposed to. You never talk to me anymore, never share with me.
If you're reading this where I left it, you'll be sitting on our sofa. Remember the last time you sat on there? I wore your birthday teddy after my shower that night. I wanted to feel loved, like I did that weekend. But you'd rather watch your show on absolute zero than spend any time with me. Even while cuddling, I felt more like an indulged pet than anything else. Then, after we went to bed, I still had to coax you to spend time with me, not the sandman. Then you ran off without telling me, snuck out like a one-night stand doing the walk of shame. You left me a note, just like this one.
I didn't even get to say goodbye to you. Not that morning, nor on either of the phone calls.
Then we had that fight. I'm sorry I lost my temper like that. That wasn't anything that needed to be aired in public. The only thing is, if I had backed down then I wouldn't have stood back up. Last week I was going through my old things. I have high school yearbooks, university yearbooks, farewell cards… Do you know what they all say? "Keep smiling. It's the best thing about you. We'll miss the way you brighten things up all the time." That's what everyone says, thinks. It's not what people think now. I asked my fellow receptionists about it obliquely, and they told me I'm actually kind of a downer.
That's what I mean by this is killing me. I couldn't stay and be destroyed. So I left. I'll miss you, and I still love you, but I'm going to try to get over that. If you feel like that at all, that's what you should do too.
Goodbye, and good luck. I wish you all the best, my love.
Minako.
The letter hit the floor as Kunzite buried his face in his hands and cried.
"I'm not coming in to work tomorrow." Kunzite told his boss over the phone. "Actually, I won't be coming in for the rest of the week. So I guess basically I'm starting my vacation early."
*No can do.* Said the voice on the phone. *All the work you had during the crisis still has to be done. We can't spare you, even for just three days. If possible, I'd cancel the vacation too.*
Kunzite tightened his fist on the phone. However, getting mad would not do anything at this point. "I'm not asking." He said bluntly. "I'm not going to work for the rest of this month. The only say you have in it is if I come back next month. Once you've come to a decision, notify me. Goodbye."
He hung up the phone, then leaned against the wall for support. No Minako. No job. What am I even doing here? I never wanted to come to this town to begin with. So I go after her then. But where do I start looking for her?
He wandered through the house, noticing all the little things that had told him what the letter would say before he read it. Her chick flick movies were gone. Her brushes were gone from the bathroom counter. Her closet was no longer bulging, it was empty. He favourite pictures were off the walls. The vase Ami had made for her was replaced with a cup of water with flowers. There was an empty spot on the shelves where her favourite books used to sit.
He collapsed onto a chair in the kitchen, then started banging his head on the table. He stopped that when he realized it wasn't helping him think any. Finally he decided to head back to their hometown. Rei might have some idea of where she would go, or her mother. A decision arrived at, he threw a couple of drawers of clothes in a bag and headed out.
He had to find her. Had to.
"So you have no idea where she could be?" Somehow Kunzite was managing to keep his cool talking to this infuriating woman before him. It was hard to imagine his sweet and kind girlfriend coming from the stuck up, horrid lady in front of him.
Okay, so that was untrue, she wasn't that bad. Minako and her just didn't get along because they were alike in all the wrong ways. But he really didn't want to consider anyone standing between him and his lost love in a good light. And he was sure this lady must at least have some clue of where to begin looking.
"How many times have I told you that? I haven't talked to her in months. How would I know what she planned?" She asked, exasperatedly. She was impressed with this man in front of her for the first time. In fact, the fight that had driven the wedge between her and her daughter was over him. She was convinced that someone that cold would eventually hurt her baby.
She took no joy in being right.
"You're her mother!" he bit back, annoyed at how few clues he had. There were a couple of long shots, places she'd mentioned she wanted to visit. He was hoping for a better idea. So far he was having no luck.
"You've been living with her for years! She was absolutely, heart and soul, devoted to you. Why don't you know?" She spat out. "The entire reason we don't talk anymore is that I said you'd do something like this to her and she thought otherwise! I have no clue where my baby is, and I think it's all your fault!" With that she stormed off.
Kunzite growled after her, but made no move to follow. There was no way he was getting anything from that lady. Instead he wandered into the park by where the argument had been held. He dropped onto a bench and dug his fingers into his hair angrily. Then he noticed where he was and blanched. This was where he kissed her for the first time. Right on this very bench.
He flopped over the back of the bench, cursing God, Karma, luck, Fate, and anything else he could think of that would explain why he was currently sitting on this bench. Suddenly he became aware of someone else sitting next to him. Glancing over, he noticed it was Rei. He had looked for her when he'd first arrived in town, but hadn't been able to find her anywhere. He'd even spent one full day camped out in front of the Temple she lived at, waiting to see her.
Today was the first time he'd seen her since he got here.
He eyed her, waiting for her to say her part. He wasn't sure if she was planning on helping him or hurting him, but either way he knew pushing her wouldn't help his case.
"You've been here for a week."
"That's true. I haven't seen you all week."
She raised an eyebrow, looking straight ahead instead of directly at him. "Minako is one of my best friends."
He nodded, willing to play her game with her. "She's special, all right."
"Yes. Her grandparents thought so too."
He blinked at her. He had no idea where this was going, but he hoped it was good. "They must have been good judges of character." He said, hoping it was the right choice.
She nodded. "They were. They chose a charming little community to live in, one of those small towns famous for its sense of family. She told me once that she loved it there, and that she was going to live there when she grew up. She actually ran away once, when she was sixteen, for a little bit. She went there, and they eventually convinced her to go home. It's one of her favourite places in the world."
She turned her head slowly to the side, then did a double take when she finally saw Kunzite. It was the first time she'd ever seen him look quite that desperate, and the amount of hero worship in his eyes was a little creepy.
"Do you think she's there? Where is it? Who would she go to there? What…" He trailed off when Rei raised her hand for silence, not willing to risk offending his source for information. Now that he finally had a lead, he wanted to know everything he could.
"First, there is this: She left because you were hurting her. I'm only willing to share any information with you because I believe she won't be fully happy without you. At the very least, there needs to be an actual end, not just her running. For me to tell you anything more, you have to make me a promise."
Kunzite drew back, hurt by her words. However, there was nothing in them he could deny, so he just nodded instead. "What will I need to promise?"
She raised an eyebrow. "From what I've told you, you'd be able to find the town yourself." She commented. It had the feel of a test question.
"Not before you could, though. If she's there, and leaves, I'll never find her again. Besides, I think the promise you want me to make is likely to be something I should do, or at least think about. It does no one any good to get her back now only to go through this all again another time. I don't just need to find her, I need to fix everything. I think you might have some advice for that."
Rei broke into an unexpected grin. "Well, learning to listen to others and not think you can do everything is a good start. As for the rest…"
"Minako! Can you grab table three? I've got my hands full."
"Of course, Kiki. You know you only have to ask." The blonde responded, smiling sunnily at her co-worker. She'd only been living in the town for two weeks and had already gotten a reputation as one of the most cheerful people there. The diner was doing better business than ever since she'd started there. People who had brought lunch for years were willing to come in just for a smile and wave. Popular opinion had it that it was impossible to be sad when she smiled at you.
Kiki had been quick to take the girl under her wing upon her arrival, helping her find a place to stay and recommending her for this job. She remembered back when the girl's grandparents were alive and living here. She'd babysat this girl on numerous occasions and had been thrilled when she'd come back.
She wasn't so fond of the reason, though. The only thing she'd been told so far was that it involved a man. The pain was still too recent for the girl to feel comfortable discussing. Kiki didn't mind. Eventually Minako would get over it or discuss it with her. There was no harm in waiting until the girl was ready.
She watched the girl easily charm even the grouchiest old men and smiled. Even with her shadowed eyes she smiled and laughed like she had no regrets and no fear. Minako would be fine. She was more than capable of landing on her own two feet, and did.
I do wish we could convince Minako to take the early shift. Kiki thought grouchily the next morning. People were always surly before their morning coffee, and she wished Minako was there to make them smile. However, the girl had chosen the late shift quickly when given the choice. Apparently she was still quite fond of sleeping in.
Finally the morning rush was over, and Kiki began cleaning the counter, all the dishes already being back in the kitchen getting washed. She looked up when the chimes rang, then quirked her eyebrow at the stranger who wandered in. He came up to the counter and threw himself onto one of the stools, then dropped his head into his crossed arms.
She grinned at the sight of him, almost looking asleep on the counter. "That's really not all that comfortable, sugar. You'd be better off going to the hotel if you want to sleep."
He raised his head and grinned half-heartedly at her. He looked to be about ten years younger than her, so only a few years older than Minako. He was quite handsome, and she began to wonder if she knew what he was doing here. "I'm not really sleepy. Just a little frustrated. May I have some coffee, please?"
"Of course. Anything else?" She asked, fetching him a cup and filling it. He shook his head and handed her the money as she passed it over. "Well, if you need anything, just tell me."
"I will." He promised, then took a drink of his beverage. Kiki went back to wiping down the counter, keeping an eye on the man. He wasn't really drinking the coffee, more just seemed to want it to keep his hands occupied as he thought. From the scowl on his face, they weren't pleasant thoughts.
Finally she came back to where he was and leaned against the nearby wall. "I'm not a bartender, but I can offer a listening ear and possibly some advice. Would you like to tell me what has you so knotted up?"
His face twisted into a faintly mocking smile. "Why not? It's not like I've had anyone else to discuss my particular sob story with."
She gave him an encouraging smile, understanding that all of his bitterness was aimed at himself. With a sigh, he began. "I suppose you've probably guessed that it has to do with a girl, right?" She nodded. "Well, she's the love of my life, and I completely adore her. She's smart, funny, cheerful, friendly, and kind. She's always willing to try something new, and lives life to the fullest every day.
"We'd been together for five years. I thought it was going great, and was the best time of my life simply because she was sharing it with me. It was going great, too, until a year or so ago. Then I got a promotion, and had to move. She came with me, quitting her job to join me in a different town. There weren't very many jobs there. She got one as a receptionist for the company I work for, but only after I asked them to give her one. I think that was quite a blow to her self esteem.
"She didn't have to work, but she wanted to feel useful. I don't know what she would have done with herself at home alone all the time. However, she didn't really like the job. I can't say I'd blame her for that. I think I'd hate that job too.
"That was only the beginning, though. Somewhere along the line, she stopped believing me when I told her I loved her. I still meant it, but I guess she couldn't tell that. That was about the time the company started giving me more and more work. I accepted the extra work because I was angling for another move. I didn't want to keep her there, where she didn't know anyone and had nothing fun to do. I knew she wasn't ever really happy in that town. I didn't tell her why I was taking on all the extra work, though. I didn't want to get her hopes up if I didn't get the move. So due to that, I started working later and later.
"I didn't like being away from her that much, though. I always missed her while she wasn't with me, even if it was only a couple hours a day." He shook his head, seemingly amazed at himself. "I've never wanted to spend time with anyone quite as much as I always wanted to spend it with her. I had her picture on my desk so that I could see her every time I looked up from my work. Our five year anniversary was just recently. I was swamped with work, so I booked us both a vacation for after my projects were supposed to be done. It was going to be a surprise, and I was going to take her anywhere she wanted to go.
"Something went wrong with one of the projects a month ago. Like heads-will-roll type wrong. And they needed me to fix it. I have a bit of a reputation for being a cold, number-crunching bastard." His face showed his mocking bitterness. "They were quite right about that. Anyways, I ended up being out of town for our anniversary, despite my best efforts. The only thing that kept me from throwing up my hands and leaving halfway through the deal was knowing that I was only two weeks away from being alone with her for a month's time.
"She came to the city I was working in that weekend. A pair of good friends of ours live there. She was going to visit with them, and with me when I got to take a break." He suddenly flushed, looking horribly embarrassed. "I'm afraid I was rather horrible company then. I didn't really have anything to say to her, since I was so ticked off with work and everything. I didn't want to spend all my time with her complaining. Then she wanted to go dancing after. I wanted to too, but couldn't risk the loss of my 'cold' status that far into negotiations. It was the awe my colleagues hold for me that makes me so good at bargaining. The back slapping and jokes that would have accompanied me staying out with her all night, and it would have been all night, would have meant more time out there. I was already worried about it not being done before my trip.
"I guess that was the straw that broke the camel's back, because next thing I know she's screaming at me about how horribly I interact with her. I was still mad about the mistakes that meant I was out of town, as well as the long hours and the people I was having to spend them with. When she started yelling at me, I kind of lost it and started yelling back. I stopped when I realized how much I was hurting her, but the damage was already done. She told me to leave, and I was just mad enough that I did. I thought she was only mad about the fight, and maybe missing me as much as I was missing her. I didn't realize she was really hurting.
"I was so furious that I managed to scare everyone into getting the contracts finished and signed by Tuesday morning. When I got back, she was gone. She left a note for me, and it told me about a lot of problems that had gone right over my head. She said she was leaving because it was killing her to stay. All of that stuff that was special about her was draining out of her. And now that I look back, I can see she was right. I just didn't want to see it, to admit I was causing that much hurt.
"The note did say that she still loved me, though. That she thought she would for a while. She said she was going to try to forget, and that if I felt the same way, I should do the same." He let out a bitter laugh. "If, she says. If I love her, try to forget. That's what hurt the most, I think. Seeing those words, written like that. I thought she knew I loved her. Love her.
"I couldn't let it rest like that, though. At first my thoughts were just on finding her. I was sure that if I could just see her, hold her, I could make it all better. I bummed around our hometown for a full week, bothering everyone who might know something mercilessly. Then I finally managed to track down one of her best friends. She told me that she'd help, simply because she figured that a final goodbye, a real one, would be necessary for us to move on. She also thought M… my girl might need it to make her feel less guilty about leaving like that. She made me promise to think about what I was doing first, then directed me to here.
"I'm pretty sure she's here, but I haven't seen her yet. I've been here for days. It's just that whenever I ask about her, people tell me they've never seen her in their lives, but I can tell they're lying." He grinned a little, actually looking comparatively cheerful when talking about the antics of the townsfolk. "They really don't know how to tell a good lie. It's kind of charming, actually."
"So that's how things stand. I haven't seen hide nor hair of her yet, but I'm going to stay here until I do. I just wish I could find her sooner, rather than later."
"Ah." Kiki said, thinking furiously. She hadn't missed the hesitation where he'd almost said her name. And everything, including the timeline, fit with Minako. She didn't want to betray her sunny friend, but he was right about things needing to be said and done. "So are you trying to charm me into helping you?"
He gave her a wry grin. "Not charm. I don't think anyone in this town could be charmed into doing something she may not like. She'd already have all of you too wrapped around her own fingers for me to have a chance. No, I just want to tell you my side, and maybe win an ally. If nothing else, you may be able to convince her to meet with me, thereby not betraying her privacy."
Kiki smiled, silently admitting he was right about Minako already owning the heart of the townsfolk. "Well, you may have a point. In fact, I think I know who you're talking about. I'll definitely be telling her you're in town. I'll also let her know that you'll be waiting outside of here for her at ten tomorrow morning. Good enough? If she wants to talk to you, I'm sure she'll be there."
The man just nodded, some animation coming back into his features as he smiled at her. "That would be wonderful. Thank you."
He left shortly after, his coffee left behind after the discovery that it had gone cold. The face he'd made upon taking a gulp had set Kiki off laughing. She was still mulling over the conversation when Minako arrived for her shift shortly before noon.
"What's got you so distracted? You're going to mess up if your head's in the clouds during lunch." Minako said, her smile taking any sting out of her words.
Kiki smiled back at her. "I'll tell you later. It'd make you mess up more than me, I think. You're the blonde one, after all."
That got a laugh out of her friend. "Fine then. Keep your secrets. But you'd better be prepared to tell me later."
"Promise." She replied. Her smile faded as her friend bounced over to an occupied table. She hoped her news wouldn't take away Minako's sunny smile, but it was too late to back out now.
"So what's the big secret?" Minako asked as they cleaned tables. She eyed her friend warily. Something in Kiki's manner warned her that she may not like the answer.
"Well, I met someone today. He came in this morning for some company and some coffee. I leant him an ear, and he spilled his sob story for me." She gave her friend a quelling look. "No, I am not planning on running off with him. He was a little young for me. Though he was quite handsome. Tall, pale blonde hair, ice blue eyes. And a very masculine presence." She saw her friend's face go pale. "He didn't mention the name of the girl involved, but I think I guessed correctly. He said he wanted an ally in finding her. I told him I'd tell her that he would be waiting outside at ten in the morning tomorrow."
Minako nodded distractedly. It was obvious that she wasn't quite sure what to make of this news. Kiki smiled and attempted to lighten the situation. "Think you can manage to wake up that early?"
Minako shot her a fake glower and flicked her friend with her cloth. "Of course I can. But leave it to you to set it for that early in the morning. I happen to have the whole day free, as you well know."
"Good. Then there's no excuse to not get everything done then." She gave her friend a serious look. "I want you to have this out and done with. It's still eating at you at the moment."
Minako smiled and gave her old friend a hug. "Thank you. You're right, much as I hate to admit it. I'll go."
Kunzite was a nervous wreck. He had a chance to see Minako in only a few hours. He was elated. He was terrified. He was everything but calm, really. He had planned and rehearsed what he was going to say over and over. Now he couldn't even remember how he was going to start this conversation.
He had gotten no sleep that night. He kept tossing and turning, unable to settle down. Around dawn he gave up chasing that shade and went out for a run, hoping that tiring himself out physically would help wear out the rest of him.
He sprinted through the quiet streets in the golden light of the early morning sun. His footsteps were the only sound he heard so far, everyone still tucked up in bed.
Then he heard another sound. Breathing, coming as hard and fast as his would be soon. He slowed, looking around curiously for the source of the sound. Finally he found it, in the park, hidden from the street by some trees.
Upon rounding the trees, he saw something that would be indelibly etched on his mind forever. Her eyes closed, hair pulled back into a ponytail, wearing only a pair of short shorts and a skin-tight athletic top, basking in the morning sunlight, was Minako. As he watched, she took two quick steps, then bounced off the ground in a front flip. She did an entire gymnastics tumbling run before stopping, eyes still closed. She spun slowly, looking like a ballerina in her grace and strength as she moved into a series of slower rolls that made her muscles ripple with the power it took to keep her moving.
He stared, transfixed, as she spun and began another tumbling run. He gurgled out a protest as she came very close to the edge of the cleared area, but she stopped less than a foot from the bushes, her eyes still closed as she moved in a state of inner calm and certainty that defied reason. Her next set of moves brought her to almost within touching distance of him, and he couldn't help the name that slipped off his lips reverently.
"Minako."
She had gotten no sleep the previous night. She had done her share of tossing and turning since she'd left, but this was different. This wasn't her missing his warmth, or ashamed of having run in secret. This wasn't even the tossing and turning that came with losing your love.
She couldn't put her finger on what it was. Fear, shame, hope, hurt, desire, love, a little bit of hate, uncertainty… She felt it all that night. So she tossed and turned, lost in her own mind. Finally she gave up the spectre of sleep and exited into the early morning stillness. It was nearing sunup, the grey light of false dawn beginning to lighten the streets. She took a quick jog, ending up in the park. She began a series of limbering up exercises, lingering over her movements in the sensual haze of a dancer ready to perform. The sun crested the horizon as she stretched, and she drank in the beauty of the dawn in silence. Finally, when her eyes could bear no more, she closed them and just felt the sun on her skin. Finally she opened them again, took a breath, and dove into a half remembered routine.
She hadn't been in gymnastics for years, but she still remembered the movements in her body. They were hard at first, jerky. She became out of breath quickly. Finally she had to stop, air coming out of her in short pants. She shook her head and paused, clearing her mind. Then took two steps and went back into the tumbling run.
And it was wonderful this time. Her body sang of its own accord, and she gloried in the play of her muscles and the feel of the sun on her. Eyes still closed, she pushed herself to the limits of her strength, amazed at how strong her muscles still were. She tumbled around like she had when she was sixteen, coming perilously close to the shrubbery with a delighted lack of fear.
Her heart, soul, and body were wrapped in a dance that transcended normal feeling. For that moment she felt free, like there was nothing she couldn't do. Nothing she needed to worry about or fear.
Then she heard a voice she was both dreading and longing for.
"Minako."
Hey eyes blinked open, startled. Standing before her was an image she would never forget. Kunzite, standing before her, looking like he'd just seen something amazing. He was a sight himself, muscular body beaded with sweat, long hair blowing slightly in the breeze, face in an expression looking suspiciously like religious ecstasy, eyes brimming with emotions.
Suddenly she realized she was standing less than a foot from him, staring into his eyes. She gave a nervous squeak and jumped back a pace, suddenly nervous again. "Kunzite." She responded, voice steady despite all the butterflies that had suddenly settled back into her stomach.
He shook himself, coming to the same realization as her suddenly. She looked at him, every conflicting feeling she had whirling in her eyes. He quirked and eyebrow at her suddenly. "Well, I wouldn't be surprised if this was the first time both of us were ever early for a meeting." He quipped, wanting desperately to put her at ease. It hurt, seeing her this defensive before him. He'd known she'd be like this, thought he had prepared for it, but still found himself eviscerated by that look.
She grinned, understanding and appreciating his attempt to break the ice. "True enough. But you know it only happened because I haven't had a chance to do my hair."
He laughed, making her glow a little inside. When was the last time she'd heard him really laugh? She couldn't even remember. That he could laugh here, now, gave her some hope. Hope for what, she couldn't tell, but it warmed her either way. She gestured to a nearby bench, and they went to sit down.
A silence descended upon them then, neither knowing how to break the silence. Finally Kunzite decided to bite the bullet.
"I know this means less than nothing, considering all that happened, but I'm sorry. Very, truly sorry. I never meant to hurt you, and I never wanted to make you feel unsecure or unappreciated."
Minako looked at her hands in her lap, considering his words. "I may be able to understand that mentally, but it was never my head that you hurt. Still, I appreciate the attempt. I can't say I accept your apology, because I don't know if I do yet. I know that I have some things to apologize for as well."
She turned her face up to him, and he saw a sheen that could only be tears forming on them. "I'm sorry I snuck out like I did, and I'm sorry I did it without any sort of warning, other than that fight. And I'm sorry for the fight, too. I shouldn't have attacked you like that. Especially not in public."
He shook his head. "The fight was my fault. I wasn't considering that separation was probably as hard for you as it was for me. I hated leaving you to go work in a different city. All I could ever think of was doing as much work as possible as fast as possible so I could return. And the only reason I was allowing them to send me off that often was that I was angling for a different position. I wanted to get you out of that town, since I knew you weren't happy there.
"Actually, all I wanted was to make you happy. Then we moved, and more and more you didn't seem to be. So I wanted to get you out. I wanted to move up and out, though, not down. You'd already given up your job, and I know how much fun you have going on trips and spending days out shopping or getting pampered with your girlfriends. I wanted you to still be able to do that, since you enjoyed it so much.
"Part of it was also pride, I guess. I was the one that got the job offer and wanted to move. I guess I didn't want to admit that a choice I made that you went along with to please me was such a mistake.
"That's also why I didn't realize quite how much trouble you were having there. I didn't want to see. I didn't want to admit that I could do that to you, dull you that much. Frankly, the idea that I not only could, but almost did, destroy something as special as you is one I'd rather not contemplate. Even the idea that you can be dulled, damaged, feels so wrong! It's something that should never happen, but I almost did it. And that hurts. It hurts a lot.
"And I know there's nothing I can ever say that will make it better. That's what hurts the most, I think."
He was trembling. Minako could see that in his shoulders. She didn't know what from, though. She herself had a lot on her mind now, above and beyond what he was going through. She had never realized that he'd noticed, even if only a little bit. His thoughts actually made sense, especially as someone trying to do what's best by himself.
"I… didn't know. I didn't even know that you'd noticed. I… I just always felt so useless there. Then, when you started coming home late, I wondered if you just didn't want to spend time with me. You never gave me a hug upon arriving anymore, never talked to me. You were so… silent, all the time. I never knew what was going on in your life or in your head anymore. I thought you were becoming, well, resentful of me, in a way. If that's why you were always gone… and…"
She was cut off by his hands coming up to grip her shoulders. His eyes blazed with intensity as he spoke. "Never." She could feel his heartfelt denial of everything she'd feared in his grip, though he was careful not to hurt her with his strength.
She looked straight at him, tears in her eyes. "Do you mean that?" She had to hear him say it again.
"I mean it with every fibre of my being. I mean it with every conviction I have ever or will ever have. I mean it, heart and soul. I love you. I need you. I adore you. And I also admire you, very much. You are more than I could ever want, more than I could ever be worthy of having. Heaven, for me, would be life with you, getting to spend time together and grow together. Anything without you wouldn't be worthwhile. My job, the house, the cars, all of it means nothing. You are the only thing in my life that has real worth. I. Love. You. Nothing else even comes close to how I feel for you."
She felt her face crumple and she threw herself into his chest with a wail. "I love you too. So very, very much. I was just so afraid, so in pain… I thought I could eventually just numb myself to missing you, but that would be numbing me to everything. It would be a life without living. I didn't want to leave, but I just couldn't stay, and… and…" Her voice was lost to her sobs, as Kunzite folded her in a tight hug, holding her close to him.
He soothed her wordlessly as she cried out all of her fears, her frustrations, her pains. She sobbed until she had nothing more to give, no more tears to let fall. Finally she just lay in his arms, completely exhausted. It wasn't until he pressed a short kiss to her temple that she noticed the moisture on her forehead. That was when she realized that he'd been crying with her.
"It's getting later. People will be out soon. Do you want to be here?" He asked, his voice curiously flat.
She shook her head. Having people around would only serve to enhance their embarrassment, and they needed to work around it anyway.
"Would you take it amiss if we were to go to my hotel room? I think I'd like a shower and fresh clothes, and I don't think I'd fit anything you have."
She snorted a weak laugh at the mental image of him trying to get into her clothes. "That's fine, I guess. Could I borrow something while I'm there?"
She felt him nod against the top of her head. "Of course. Anything I have is yours." He helped her to her feet, both of them feeling the twinge of tightening muscles as they moved. They slowly made their way back to his hotel, both wanting to but not quite daring to touch.
Finally they arrived. "Would you like the first shower?" Kunzite offered. Minako nodded distractedly before heading into the bathroom. Then she poked her head back out.
"Hey, would you mind grabbing me some clothing? I'm going to need it when I'm done." He nodded, then crossed to his suitcase to pull out some shorts and a t-shirt.
"The shorts have a drawstring, so they should fit. Somewhat."
"Thanks!" She responded, flashing him her usual brilliant smile. She disappeared into the bathroom, leaving Kunzite looking like he'd been struck by lightning. He shook his head then, a silly smile gracing his features, and wandered off into the kitchenette to get some food ready. He thought it was a good bet that she hadn't eaten either, and his stomach was growling.
He was just about done when she came out, drying her hair with one of the towels as she walked. She saw the breakfast he had out and smiled happily. "What a good idea. I haven't eaten since last night. I'm starving."
He placed the food on the low table, then went back to grab the coffee he'd made. He handed her her cup as he finished his off. "Well, I'll just grab a quick shower then. I'll only be a few minutes, make yourself at home."
She grabbed his wrist as he went to leave. "Um, would you eat with me? I don't actually like eating alone very much."
He just blinked at her. "Uh, sure, I guess. I didn't know you didn't like eating by yourself… hey, was that why you always waited for me after work?"
She nodded, blushing lightly. "Yeah. I like having someone to share the good things in life with. It makes it so much better to enjoy things with company."
"I see. Well, I'd be honoured to join you for the meal. Thank you for the invite." His courtesy made her blush harder, and they both settled into the chairs to eat.
After a few minutes of silence broken only by chewing, Minako cleared her throat. "If you don't mind me asking, how did you find me here? I don't think I ever talked about it much with you. I hadn't been here for years by the time I met you."
"Rei told me."
She spluttered, choking slightly on the coffee she'd just taken a sip of. "Rei told you? How'd you convince her to do that?"
"Well, after I got back and saw you gone, I had a little bit of a breakdown myself. Then I called my boss, then I tried to think of where you might have gone. I couldn't come up with anywhere, but I thought our hometown would be a good place to start looking. Even if you weren't there, someone might remember something. A favourite vacation spot from younger, a youthful desire to live there, something like that. So I showed up and pestered people like your mother for a full week without getting any leads.
"After a week, I guess Rei decided I was serious enough to warrant a hint. She didn't know you were here, and I understood that, but it was the best hint I'd gotten so far, so I went with it. I didn't know you were here until I showed your picture at a gas station just outside of town. The guy went white, then spluttered something about never having seen you before. I didn't believe him. The answers I got to my questioning here confirmed that you were either here, or had been. So I stayed."
"Oh. Well, that makes sense. You mentioned calling your boss. What does he think of you taking off after me?" She asked, curious.
Kunzite shrugged. "I don't know. I don't care. I quit."
She slammed her coffee cup to the table, splashing the hot beverage all over the man across the table. "WHAT?" She asked, incredulous.
"I quit." He said, holding his shirt out from him and blowing on it. "I said I was taking time off to search for you. He tried to call my bluff." He looked straight at her. "It wasn't a bluff."
"Oh." Was all she could think of to say, completely poleaxed by that news. It was one thing she hadn't been expecting.
"It's really not that big a deal." He responded, pulling his shirt off and pitching it towards the sink. He missed, but he couldn't bring himself to care much.
"Not…? But…" She trailed off, her attention caught by something else. She pointed to his chest. "What's that?"
He looked down and cursed silently. He'd forgotten about the necklace he'd taken to wearing since she'd disappeared. If he had remembered, he wouldn't have pulled the shirt off, coffee or no. He blushed.
"Well, if you hadn't taken off like that, right now we'd be on vacation. I'd booked both of us off in secret, and I was going to tell you that first Friday after work to pick where in the world you would go, if you could go anywhere. Then I was going to move heaven and earth, if necessary, to get us there.
"It was supposed to be a belated anniversary gift. And… more. I was going to offer this to you then." He pulled off the necklace he was wearing and handed it to her. She paid no attention to the necklace itself, only to the thing hanging off of it.
She fingered it gently. "Kunzite… this is… is this what I think it is? Is it…" She couldn't even form the words, to shocked at just how differently they had been thinking these last few months.
"It's an engagement ring. If things had gone according to my plan, you'd have had it by now." He answered, not looking up from where his hands were sitting on the table. She just continued to look at it, shocked. "I'm going to go have my shower now." He said, his embarrassment getting the better of him.
Oh Kunzite. She thought helplessly. How did we manage to mess up this badly, my love? How did we get from there to here? Oh love, I'm sorry too. To have been planning this… How bad did my leaving hurt when you had this in your pocket, everything planned out? How can we fix this, after everything?
She finished the food before her in silence, not even minding that he'd skipped out on the rest of the meal. She would have done the same in his place. Her eyes stayed glued to the ring shining at her happily. What to do, what to do?
Kunzite finally came out of the bathroom to see Minako still at the table, still holding the necklace. He noticed that she had finished eating, so he knew she'd put the necklace down for at least a little bit. He was just wondering what the revelation of his plans would mean for their rather precarious new relationship.
He sat back down and she handed the necklace to him, eyes blank. He swallowed his disappointment. Even after everything, he had still hoped…
He paused. She'd passed the necklace back to him, but there was nothing on it…
"It's mine. You bought it for me. You gave it to me. I still want it." He glanced at her hands. She spread both of them on the table to show him more clearly. "I can't accept it as an engagement ring right now. Things are too unsettled. However, I don't think either of us wants to give up, so I'll wear it on the right hand for now. Once we figure everything out, if it's what we both want, I'll let you move it to the left hand then."
He nodded, accepting her answer as the best that's reasonable under the circumstances. They sat in silence, unsure of what else to say after that declaration. Minako fluffed her hair, hoping to dry it a little before attempting to braid it. Her right hand kept getting tangled, the new jewellery catching unexpectedly.
She saw Kunzite reach out for her, then draw back. He seemed to be considering for a moment, before he spoke. "May I help you with your hair? I may not be as good as you, but I can braid."
She nodded. "Why ask? Any braiding skill you have is from helping me. I don't know if you ever asked before taking over the task."
He was quiet for a moment, his hands carefully separating her mass of hair into three thick strands. "I don't think I have the right to do that. It's not like everything's back to what it was before all this. I don't want to make you uncomfortable or push myself to far forward. I think balancing familiarity with respect will be harder the second time around, actually."
"You might well be right." She responded thoughtfully. "I hadn't even considered."
"Neither did I, until just now." He answered frankly. He finished with her hair and held his hand out for the ponytail holder. She handed it to him. "I was reaching for you, then realized that I didn't have the right to hold you whenever I feel like it anymore. You'd taken that with you when you left, and hadn't given it back to me."
"Oh." She said, understanding his logic all too well. It would be a while before she was ready to come up to him and cuddle without consent as well. But she didn't want him to feel awkward around her… "I want…"
He cut her off by taking her hand and raising it to his lips. "Don't. Keep that for now. I don't mind. I know that I have the chance to one day earn it back. I have the chance to make amends for the damage I've done to you. Don't take that away in an attempt to make me feel better. That undermines everything we're trying to do."
She nodded, relieved. That was exactly what she needed to hear at the moment. They sat in silence for a moment more before Minako asked the question they had both been avoiding. "What now?"
Kunzite just shrugged. "You tell me." He said. "I don't know how we're going to do this now. You were the one that got hurt while I was taking lead, so why don't you decide what's happening now? What do you want to do now?"
"Take it one day at a time, I guess." She replied. "Right now, that's all we really can do. We know that I love you, and that you love me. The rest will work itself out in time, I think, given enough patience. We can make this work, between the two of us."
She smiled up at him. "With love on our side, I'm sure we can do anything."
