Chapter One: Prologue
The sky was painted yellow when they went towards the bridge. The silver railings beamed brightly as the two stood near it. Len kept telling Miku about the things that had gone at school until he noticed how utterly silent his partner was. Usually, it was Miku who always talks about these things.
Miku was biting her lower lip, her delicate hands held the metal railings tightly. Len took a step closer towards her as his eyes searched for hers, concerned. Miku's eyes were on the floor, her teal bangs fell along with her affixed gaze. Beyond the curtain of teal covering her face, Len could tell that she was anxious.
"What's wrong?" he asked. It was all that he could say. The soft, cold breeze whispered in his ears as he waited for any reply. "Did I say something bad?"
The teal-haired girl breathed before making a sound. "Oh. No, it's just," She tucked her bangs behind her ear then turned to him with a smile, "…some school work, that's all."
"Okay," Len attempted to mirror her smile. "But you got to let it out before it stays in there for too long." He saw Miku stiffen at his words. He knew she is afraid of real emotions when it's okay to express it. She often denies the stress she is feeling whenever he asks her if she's alright. He understood how tired his girlfriend was. After all, she was a part of the Student Council.
He knew her personality would fit perfectly at that organization, being responsible and strong and all. She'd used to call him crazy for nominating her in the council back then in their sophomore years. Miku had then been thanking him for suggesting her to the student council, wherein, according to her, is her 'happy' place.
Looking at her now, the pressured Miku doesn't seem to be that happy at all.
"Hey, don't worry," Len said as he rested his arm on the metal railing, becoming nearer to the girl beside him. Miku gave him a reassuring smile, "It's okay, don't worry about me." Her smile was then converted back to an anxious pout. Len just looked at her. Perhaps she wasn't just worrying about 'some school work'.
The cold wind blew. All he heard were the crisp of the falling leaves. Everything was just so quiet between the two of them. This silence was there ever since they watched a movie a few days ago. Both of them were crying inside the cinema. And seeing Miku cry is a very rare sight. Len told her it's alright to cry, they just have to express their emotions. Miku defended, "Yes, but, both of us are crying. That's weird, isn't it?" Then they both laughed. Len recalled he asked Miku what they would do if they would go separate ways, just like the couple did in the movie. He knew he'd cry, but he'd do his best to be tough just like her. He'll definitely do what Miku usually tell him. "Smile," he said, while patting her head. GIRL just smiled, but her eyes were full of worry.
Just like they were at present.
Len watched everything being dipped in a shade of gold. Her cyan eyes glittered against the rays of the setting sun, like a vast ocean at sunset. He smiled. He would never have liked sunsets if he didn't see her eyes. They were always burning with passion, as if the sun's rays reflected her mood. Yet the pools of cyan were now full of worry. Len just wished to know what she was worrying about. It was as if she was hiding a raging storm beneath the calm waves. But nonetheless, it makes her strong. She was strong enough to manage her own emotions inside her. Strong, unlike him.
He was always soft. He wanted to be as tough as her. Miku stays strong during the toughest times. Even if she was tearing apart inside, she still stayed strong. She does everything to cheer him up whenever he cries; she'd even sing a song for him. And he longed for his turn to comfort her. A part of him knew she just wanted to be comforted, despite her strong reputation and his sensitive reactions. He longed to subside the storm inside her. He wanted to calm it down, not only by giving her a smile.
Len turned to look at her. Despite the heat of the sun's rays lighting her face, Miku's expression stayed blank. She always loved sunsets, and now she's too worried to even notice it. This was his chance to comfort her.
Before he could say a word, Miku interrupted him. "I have something to tell you." She stared at Len for a few moments. "You're right. I've been hiding this for quite a long time," Then her gaze dropped, muttering under her breath, "I hate to tell you this, but I've got to say it now."
"All those things we did, well, it was fun," Her smile faded. "A little bit too fun perhaps. I… I need a break." Miku placed a clenched hand on her chest. Len stared at her, confused. "What do you mean… break?"
Miku looked at him, tears now falling. "You're becoming a part of my responsibility, when you're not supposed to be." She ran her trembling fingers through her hair as she paced back and forth. "It's wrong if the girl is the only one who takes care of the boy. Whenever we both cry, I cheer you up. But all you do is to smile and to cuddle near me." Her pacing stopped. "I do appreciate it, but," She turned to him, her eyes swollen with tears. "Shouldn't you be the one to cheer me up? To hold me when I cry? "
Len looked at her with hurt in his eyes. "Is this the one you've been keeping these days?" Miku nodded slowly, her breathing was heavy. Len came closer to her, and then he opened his arms to hug her. This was the moment he longed for. But he didn't expect he was the reason for making her cry. "I'm sorry," he said, hugging her tightly.
He heard her breathe deeply, hesitating to speak. Then she hugged back. "I remember that time when we watched that movie. You asked me what we'd do if we were to separate ways. You told me that you would try not to cry, and that you'd tell me to smile," She said, trembling. Len hugged her even tightly, pushing back tears, "Yes, so, here I am." Miku broke the embrace, tears running down faster. Len's eyes widened at this. "Len, I just couldn't see what's beyond us anymore. That's sweet, but the word I chose was," She gulped then turned to the opposite direction. "Goodbye."
"No. No, no, no, no don't," Len could feel his eyes stinging. All this time, he was one of the reasons causing her stress. "I could change, I could be a better person for you," Len caught her wrist just before she took a step down the bridge. He saw visions of them together fading before his eyes. "Miku, I don't want this to happen,"
Miku didn't try to break free. "I know about your disorder but," she turned back to look at him. "Would you… promise me something? Promise me, that you'd be stronger while I'm gone?"
His grip tightened. "Can't you see? I'm… I'm already doing my best not to cry." She tried to break free, and then his grip loosened. A bitter realization struck him. "Am I not good enough for you?"
"Len, no, there's nothing wrong with you nor us," Miku looked at him in the eyes. "I just don't want to see you cry, and get myself hurt in the process." Len closed his eyes. He was trembling. Miku slowly held his hand gently and softly, sniffing her tears away. Everything went quiet. Even the wind died down. It was as if the world stopped, syncing with the mood of the moment.
Then Miku started to sing a tune, "Lift your head, don't be scared, of the things that could go wrong along the way," Len held her hands tightly, forcing his tears to go away. It was the song she sings to him whenever he cries. "You'll get by with a smile, now it's time to kiss away those tears… goodbye." She let go of his hand and walked down the bridge.
Len just stood, watching Miku go away from his grasp. He commanded his feet to move, but they didn't. He hung his head down low, forcing his eyes to shut. He's not going to cry, he thought, as he felt warm tears running down on his cheeks. He convinced himself that everything's going to be alright. But unlike other circumstances, it wouldn't stop. Their memories, their 'I love you's, their hopes, all slipping away from his grasp. Even their future … all washed by tears. Bitterness lingered around his tongue. Len couldn't imagine life after this. What kind of future would dare to appear before him?
~ If you want to, check out Crybaby Boyfriend and Beginning's Goodbye for a little preview of this story. :)
