A/N:
Hello,
Fiction helps me to escape my life and sometimes even gives me hope. So I cannot want Brian and Justin not together. I could never bring myself to write a story where they are apart, even for a little while. I still had some sentences stuck in my head. Here they are in no particular order.
I'm being selfish.
I can't be with you because you can't give me what I want. I'm not enough for you, I never will; so I try to be with someone who will give me what I need. I really, really try, but it's not enough. They are not you. But I can't stay away from you either because I love you so much that not being near you hurts. So I'm being selfish. I try to have both and I'm hurting them and I'm hurting you and no matter what I do I never feel better.
You know, sometimes I hate you. Sometimes I wish I had never met you, because if I hadn't I wouldn't love you so much that it's hard to breathe without you.
"What the fuck happened? We loved each other. I loved you so much! I know you loved me too. So what happened?"
"Life."
"That's not an answer. We were good together. Really really good. I don't understand. How could we have let that happen? When you have something good, you have to fight for it."
"We did. It wasn't enough."
Sometimes I want to punch him in the chest and yell at him "Why can't you love me? Can't you see how much I love you? How much it hurts me to be rejected".
And sometimes I want to laugh at his face and tell him that he's being so obvious, that everyone can see that he cares; that he's being ridiculous pretending he doesn't love me back.
