Spoilers: All of season 3.
Italics are thoughts and emphasis.
Warnings: The boys are a bit OOC. And things might get gory later on... I'll give warning though.
AN: Okay, so it's been forever since I wrote anything, so feedback is what drives me at this point. I want to give you all fair warning that I have no idea where this story is going. None at all. We're all just along for the ride here.
Big thank you to SeveredWing, my beta. Thanks to her you can actually make some sense of this. Of course I had to go and fiddle with it, so any mistakes are completely my own.
Also thank you to Anna for hooking me to the show. I owe you one bitch! :)
As Deep As You Dare
Chapter 1: Go back to sleep
Chalk another victory up for the Winchester men. Sam smiled at the memory of his brother unofficially keeping score. He thought it funny, but he supposed he knew why Dean was doing so lately. Truth be told, he'd sort of been keeping score himself. It might come in handy when he came up with the solution to get Dean out of his deal.
Sam had been looking for a way for so long now, and still there was nothing yet. Rumours and legends were all he could find on his trusty laptop. No word from any other hunters as well. Dean was back in 'A-Deal's-A-Deal-Sammy-Just-Drop-It' mode and that was worrying Sam a bit. He knew his brother didn't want to die and seeing him give up, even for a day, was beyond troubling for the younger Winchester, but Sam would believe for the both of them on those days. Then come morning Dean would be back to fighting fate again. Dean knew this as well, which was probably why he was asleep already instead of celebrating, leaving Sam alone to research in peace for once.
Sam was on his eighth cup of what went for coffee from the diner down the street, and was not at all sleepy. They were quickly running out of time so he would take every chance he could get to research. Plus he still had to do some finishing checks on the info about the demon they had killed earlier in the evening. Rumour had it the demon would be resurrected when the convention started up again next year. He strongly doubted it, but it had to be checked and he was research-guy. So he took another sip of his now stale coffee, grimaced at the taste, and got back to work.
A few hours later Sam's body was reminding him that he had been in a very physical fight that evening, and while coffee was a good substitute for sleep, he would still need the real stuff to reload his energy stores. Smiling to himself, he waited for the computer to shut down before getting up and stretching his long legs. His muscles complained a bit and he knew he'd been sitting for too long without moving. He'd have to pay for that in the morning – okay, so early afternoon by the time I wake up – but it was worth the discomfort. He had found a solid lead to help in Dean's case and if it panned out it was worth anything. He still needed to check it with a few people, but he was cautiously optimistic. It was the best lead he'd had in ages. He looked over to the bed where his brother was sleeping and wanted to curse him for making that stupid deal, but didn't because he knew he would have done the exact same thing if the situation had been reversed. Might still try if it came down to it, no matter what he had promised Dean.
Chasing away his sombre thoughts, he got ready for bed. It had been a good day: they had kicked some demon ass, he had a promising lead, neither of them was seriously injured, and there was still plenty of time to save the day. All in all things were okay.
The Arizona heat made him opt to sleep in just his boxer shorts, Sam grinned as he remembered Deans comment when they first got the room. The room with just one king sized bed. Dean would probably give him some shitty comment about his sleepwear just for that reason in the morning but Sam didn't care. After twenty odd years of sharing everything, they were used to it anyway.
It was oddly comforting as well, sometimes. Just feeling his big brother's presence beside him had always helped Sam to sleep. He was usually the first to fall asleep, so getting to study his brother like this was a rare opportunity. All his life Dean had been there taking care of him and teaching him things, always strong, dependable, and in control. During times like this, however, when Sam took pride in the fact that it was his presence that helped his brother relax for once trusting Sam to protect them, Sam would just listen to Dean breathe. Dean would kick his ass if he knew, but the sound of Dean's breaths as he slept was probably the most comforting sound that Sam knew. It meant they were safe. Sam smiled to himself; he was such a girl sometimes.
Secure in the fact that Dean would never find out, he got under the covers and prepared to sleep. Before he had even lain down, Dean made a grunting sound, checking up on Sam, even in his sleep. Sam smiled and reassured his brother, "It's just me, go back to sleep Dean." Soon after, he followed his own advice.
Sam awoke some time later - can't be more than 1½ hour tops - to the feeling that something was wrong. Something was simply off. He was lying on his stomach facing away from his brother, so he turned his head to look at Dean and check if he was awake as well. But he was alone in the bed.
"Dean?" he asked the empty room. The sleepiness left in him was gone the instant he felt something wet drip on his back.
Jess!
The horrors of three years past were flashing in his mind before he could even react, but the putrid smell of burning flesh chased the memory away; it did not belong with the one of Jess. All this passed in his mind in the time it took him to turn to his back, his eyes automatically going to the ceiling. The smell, sound, and sight froze him in place, all thoughts of getting weapons gone. It wasn't Jess pressed up against the ceiling; it was Dean.
Sam was so shocked that at first he didn't even notice the burnt skin, the mutilated body, or the mouth opened in a silent scream. He could only focus on the unmistakable hazel of his brother's eyes. His body might be unrecognisable, but there was no mistaking those eyes.
"How could you let this happen to me Sammy?" Dean's voice was barely audible, screamed dry from the pain, but somehow Sam could still hear every word clear as crystal.
As the tears that fell from Dean's eyes mixed with Sam's own tears on his cheeks, Dean's demeanour changed.
"How could you let me burn?"
The hate, hurt, and betrayal in Dean's perfect hazel eyes was enough for Sam to wake up wanting to scream or throw up, whichever came first.
TBC....
So I'm pretty much begging here: please let me know what you think!
