Words Unspoken
Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter. It is the property of J. K. Rowling.
Rating: T, to be safe more than anything.
Sirius Black
Everybody has regrets, some more than others.
He wishes that he had shown even the slightest bit of kindness to Snape. Somewhere, deep inside, a little part of him broke to see the pain reflected in Snape's eyes. But he, the fearless Gryffindor, couldn't summon up the courage to make the first step, to repair the relationship that had shattered under years of childish torture.
He wishes he hadn't gone after Peter. That he wasn't so reckless, that he had thought before he acted. He cornered Peter in blind fury, determined to end the miserable little rat's life, but what did it get him. A twelve year stay in Azkaban; and Pettigrew lived on.
He wishes that he had seen Harry for who he really was. Every moment they spent together, he attempted to learn just that little bit more about Harry. But he could never see past that mess of black hair, those glasses, and that smile, always tainted with an edge of mischief. Try as he might, all he ever saw was James.
He wishes that he had felt love. That someone in life could love him for who he truly was, and he could love them back. All he got was sordid one-night stands and meaningless affairs with the type of women who didn't give a shit about him, other than how good he was for their image. Maybe that was all he deserved.
He wishes he could have felt free, for just one last time before it all ended. He wanted to be able to walk down the street, human, and without the fear of capture. He wanted to take his rightful place as Harry's guardian, to see him onto the Hogwarts Express, just as proud as any parent. He wanted a job, just like everyone else. Simple pleasures, but he never got to experience any of them.
He wishes that he hadn't left Remus on his own. The one of them who had suffered more than any person ever should, his pain seemed to be never ending. Left for twelve years, thinking all but one dead, and that one a merciless traitor. Remus didn't deserve any of that. He didn't deserve to become as scarred on the inside as he was on the outside.
He wishes he could tell Bellatrix that he forgives her. She was undoubtedly evil, and she hated him with a passion that few ever felt, but she was still family. Even he couldn't look past that in the end, no matter how hard he tried; in the end, he was still a Black. Besides, nothing would hurt her more than being forgiven by the cousin she killed.
More than anything, he wishes that, if his death was indeed inevitable, he could have at least brought someone down with him.
AN: Just to tell you that this isn't a one-shot. I'm going to extend it to include other characters and their regrets. The next person I have planned is Remus Lupin, but if anyone has any other suggestions I'd love to hear them. Please review!
