Hello people. I'm a bit cool... or not...

Warning I write like how I speak... which is pretty annoying….I'm pretty sure it makes sense... but you never know.

Also I'm English so some phrases people might not get, sorry.

In this fic Naruto shall be seme! Mwaha.

Also I need a beta so please? Anyone?

Warning: yaoi and swearing and you know…

Disclaimer: yeah I own nothing apart from this story

Also people don't flame me... I would be very sad.

XXX

It was hot… far to hot in my opinion, especially considering its spring. I swear it should be illegal!

Literally sweating so bad, eww. But hey if you can handle the heat all is good.

So it's a sunny lunch period in Konoha high, and with the air conditioning being broken, everyone's escaped outside onto the field… Well everyone meaning a few people including me and my group of friends, all dressed in the same green and black boring uniform.

But the most attractive out of all of these students has to be the absolutely stunning blonde who sat in the in circle with his friends crossed legged … yes, yes people that is I Naruto Uzumaki, 17 years old. Amazing messy blonde hair that falls around my face (I forgot my hair gel I woke up late… don't ask) big sky blue eyes, and a tanned muscular manly body. Which many, many people have moaned under. I also have an odd tendency of talking to myself, but that's beside the point.

I have a good group of friends, we're not exactly the popular kids but were not losers either, but luckily people know not to fuck with us 'cause we'll just kick there asses aha. Any way my ultimates are Kiba and Gaara, Kiba's a lot like me but just more annoying. He has messy brown hair and mass amounts of tattoos, he also has a bad habit of getting naked in public places.

And Gaara, well I've been living with him for 12 years (don't ask parents dying, him being cool, I just don't know) he's fucking amazing we do everything together, well almost. Any way Gaara's just well, Gaara I guess. A bit psychotic from time to time, but hey who isn't? He's taller then me which is odd because I used to tower over him…. once upon a time… and he has messy red hair and seems to be one of the few people who can pull of the schools uniform and still look good. Yes Gaara gets lots of attention from girls, as do I. So we claimed we're gay and bam, no more fan girls, heh good times. We just then had to worry about all the male attention.

And before anyone jumps to conclusions- I and Gaara are just friends.

"So people, I was thinking" Kiba starts taking off his white shirt which is normally under a green blazer (which had been discarded long ago because of the goddamn heat) he throws it to the floor and stands in the circle of people just showing off his nice chest, flat stomach and many tattoos that I was previously talking about. See people this is what I mean by getting naked in public places. Any minute he's gonna lose the pants as well I swear!

"I want a new tattoo...here." He says happily pointing to the area under his collar bone "R.I.P would be legendary mate." He bites his lip and continues to grin like the idiot he is and sits next to Hinata leaning on her slightly. Which almost causes the poor girl to faint, for the sudden rush of blood to her cute lil' face.

She's also Kiba's long time crush, sure he's loud obnoxious and doesn't give a shit about what people thinks about him, but sometimes he's a little bit shy when it comes to girls he's serious about… what a fucking dumbass.

"That's nice and all but seriously put it away your scaring Hinata." Shino mumbles from across the circle, but it's still loud enough for everyone to have a laugh at Kiba's expense.

"Nu-uh!" He whines and throws his discarded shirt at Shino who manages to dodge it with a look of disgust on his face. Yeah Kiba sweat is gross… he clears his throat easily and continues, "You and I both know my body is a temple!" He suddenly jumps up and strikes a pose. "I have the body of a fucking god!"

Fucking weirdo. Truthfully you've just got to worry about him…

"Yeah" I grin to myself "I was thinking of changing my religion to Buddhism." I chuckle slightly. God I'm such a loser "Hi I'm Naruto I laugh at my own jokes"… but right now its okay as other people are laughing. Except Kiba… who then threw an apple at my head…

"Ughow!" I whine "Gaara hit him!" I demand as I lean over and hide my head in his lap.

"Maybe later." He mumbles as he starts playing with my hair. Again people me and Gaara are only friends. Only friends. That does not mean either of us are waiting for something to happen. Were friends…I should stop now…

"S-so k-Kiba. When are you g-getting it done?" Aww Hinata's so cute.

He lifts his head off her shoulder and grins at her. I reckon he's just happy because someone's actually paying attention to him.

"Probably tonight, also I wanted to know if-"

"I refuse to take him!" Shikamaru stated immediately, the rest of the group silently agree with the genius by nodding their heads. "Last time he would NOT shut up."

"Yup" Gaara's voice suddenly joins in and I glance up at him, a look of sadism crossing his face. "I felt sorry for the guy doing the tattoo, if that was me I would have stabbed you do death or pumped your body with ink so you get ink poisoning or something."

Kiba gulps nervously and looks away from him.

"Nice Gaara." I state… yeah nice and descriptive… eww.

Now I can't really join in on this conversation because I've never been with him. He takes everyone else but me. I'm meant to be his best friend! What an asshole! It could be because I get bored easily and I don't like needles but hey, rude.

Plus stereotypically speaking most tattoo artists are fat sweaty bold old men… eww, not, I must admit, one of the best ways to spend my after noon…But I think I may get another piercing done again. I might get scaffolding. Now that my friend would be interesting.

"So how about it Naruto?" Kiba asks looking excited grinning at me… he better not be asking for sex again…

Oh crap I wasn't listening again!… Craaaaappp, last time I didn't listen he ignored me for 3 days!! ... what an asshole... damn it. Shit Naruto! THINK!

"Um… okay?" I turn to look up at Gaara who smirking ans now shaking his head disapprovingly. I glance round the rest of the group who are giving me extremely weird look as the end of lunch bell finally goes.

They stand up with out saying a word and walk off to their homerooms. Kiba on the other hand stands above me looking ecstatic… Now I'm worried and am actually debating to whether or not I agreed to sex…

I stand up, abandoning the comfort of Gaara's lap and pull him up with me.

"So I'll meet you after school by the gate, okay? Wow this is so great!" And with that the dog boy ran off.

Must resist urge to rugby tackle him. Now that would be funny.

XXX

-Some time in last lesson… I'm thinking it may be history.-

The class is pretty quiet as the teacher talks about a Spanish boat or something and catching on fire and… yeah I'm confused too.

Gaara and I sit at the back of the room seated on one of those small two man tables.

Hm this is so boring….

Gaara looks at me as I sigh and try to catch a glimpse of his work. Its not like I'm copying him… it's just that…. yeah.

"You have no idea to what you agreed to with Kiba do you?" he asks, well more like states with a hint of amusement in his voice.

Ah crap.

"Of course I do!" I retort and narrow my eyes, slightly pouting as I pretend to look busy with some work… which just involves me doodling in the margins.

"No you don't. I can tell when you're just spacing out." He replies sounding quite bored as he crosses his arms and leans on the table. Yeah did I ever mention that Gaara's like, always right?

"...No you can't..." yes I am sounding really intelligent and mature right now...

The redhead sighs slightly and sits back in his chair.

"Naruto I've known you for, god knows how long. We live together, eat together, go to school together, hell we even shower together sometimes! I'm pretty sure I know you more then you know yourself!" He sighs again and glances at me…yes he said this quite loudly so we're now getting some crazy looks sent at us. Heh.

"That was only 5 times!" I hiss back.

"Actually it's around 11 but I digress." He states rather calmly ignoring the people now staring at us.

You know what? He's probably right about this too.

"oh but the last time was a few weeks ago if I remember correctly…"

"Oh yeah" I grin. "……….We should stop doing that…" the red head smirks at me and faces the front of the room not really paying attention.

Okay so I guess Gaara and me are a bit closer then the average "best friends" but hey, we're only friends I swear! We tried dating a while ago… meaning yeaaarsss ago but that didn't work out to well, but we just got closer in our own special way… I'm not really helping the "Me and Gaara aren't dating" thing... So probably best to leave that subject alone now.

"Nah I'd get lonely." He answers shrugging slightly as I happily nod long with him-

Shit we're completely getting off topic!

"So anyway now we both know I'm an idiot, what did I agree too?... it wasn't sex was it?" I ask suspiciously my eyes narrow once again.

Well there's no real point in lying to Gaara… He's omnipotent!… god I'm such a loser, heh.

He smirks slightly. "Well as Kiba put it ever so nicely you guys are gonna be-"ta-"

"Naruto! Gaara! Will you please shut up I am trying to teach a history lesson!"

Fucking history teacher. Now he could work in one of those tattoo places. Fat bold man, with sweat patches the size of Britain, yup real attractive.

Gaara then turns to look at the man. And when I say look I mean gave him a glare that would stop most people dead in their tracks. I on the other hand am used to it… that's not really a good thing though... damn. He faces me again ignoring the bald man and carries on anyway. Good man.

"Yeah so you and Kiba are gonna be 'tattoo buddies' and get them done at the same time and have each other's names on your arms … aww." His voice now dripping with sheer sarcasm."Actually if you have Kiba's name on your arm, make sure I'm on there too. Only bigger…."

Now I'm not sure whether he's joking or something but- oh god!

"WHAT!" I scream (may I add a very manly scream) "what the fuck? I can't believe you let me agree to that!" I jump up and glare at him.

"Mr Uzumaki! Stand outside!" yells the fat man.

"Sorry it seemed amusing at the time…" he shrugs and crosses his arms again, I then finally stalk outside hearing the old man going on about disruptive children in his lesson... He can go die. Or go get a tattoo done with Kiba…. Either one.

I can't believe Gaara sometimes! He should know better!

XXX

So I've came up with a plan-

After school me and Gaara shall meat Kiba, and I'll just tell him I've changed my mind... And if that don't work, we'll simply gag him and tie him down! Good plan. Heh that just sounds kinky.

"I still can't believe you did that to me." I mumble pouting as Gaara and I approach the gate outside school, watching the rest of the its population swarm out the school grounds like insects… but yet still no sign of the dog boy.

"Well then I guess that'll teach you to actually listen to people then…" Gaara says crossing his arms against his chest.

"Wha? You ignore everyone though!" I yell franticly.

"So? I don't get myself into stupid situations either." He remarks, still not backing down.

"…I can't believe you got me into this, now I'll have to explain why I wasn't listening to him and he'll just get bitchy!"

Gaara leans back against the wall looking all cool and superior, he's quite good at this.

The red head turns and glances down at me and with a some what apologetic face, but this is Gaara… you can never really tell.

"Would it make you feel better if I said I was sorry?"

Some what taken back by this.

"Yes actually it would…" I pout slightly and lean against the wall with him, still keeping an eye out for Kiba.

"Well Naruto, you of all people should know you can't have everything in life eh?" He states grinning at me.

Grr. Stupid. ginger. Twat….. I hope to god he cant read my mind… I look up at hinm nervously.

"your bad mouthing m in your head aren't you?"

"no I just-"

"Hey Naruto, Gaara!" god does anyone know how much I love Kiba right now?...wait.

"Hey Kiba" I sigh as the dog boy then comes running up to us, slightly out of breath. "Right I was thinking about tonight-" I start.

He then suddenly cuts me off – "oh yeah, well I gotta go home first so I'll meet you there okay? Remember patch work creation at 5 okies?"

And with that he's off.

…Tosser….

Gaara and I stand in silence as I fume while watching his retreating figure…

Now would be a good time to throw a rock at him or something. Hope it smashes into his head.

"So I was thinking now is the time for hugs, and for Naruto to calm down" Gaara mutters and pulls the back of my shirt so I fall into his hard muscular chest.

"Would you mind if Kiba one day turned up dead?" I ask slightly twitching, as he wraps his arms round me.

"Not really. I'll help you if you really want. It could turn into a weekly hobby of ours kill annoying friends." He and I can hear the smirk in his voice.

… Okay, does he creep anyone else out?

XXX

So I'm finally walking down the street towards patch work creation (yeah I got a bit lost and had to ask for directions).

God I feel like such an idiot sometimes. This is completely Gaara's fault.

So now I'm standing out side the shop peering in. Well it looks quite nice; the outside wood is painted black but the insides white and nicely lit. There's a big model of Alice standing in the window with loads of piercings on her and some pictures of tattoos and… icky I wanna go home.

Well even if the thought of having a tattoo creeps me out the shop looks quite good on the outside… now if only I could bring myself to go inside.

Was I scared? Well of course I was! They're gonna stab me with god damn needles!

Mental note- try to listen to Kiba in the future. It may one day serve a purpose/ or get me out of trouble.

Hm, maybe if I run? ... Nah he's sure to catch me... But I'm stronger then him… but then again at school he'll start to bitch…. Damn there's just no escaping the stupid mutt!

I finally bring myself to walk in… it was kind of intimidating mainly because I had no reason to be here, I don't know what I'm meant to even say and gah, where the hell is Kiba?

"Hey can I help you?" I glance round to see a cute pink haired girl in a tank top behind the counter smiling at me.

Fit.

I grin back and slowly walk in. "Yeah my friend Kiba's got a-"

But before I made it to the front desk I was cut off by an arm wrapping round my shoulders.

Score Kiba's here!

"Yeah I know Kiba." Came a husky sultry voice. Wow if he's as hot as his voice he'd be-

Fucking hell absolutely gorgeous!

Okay peeps prepare for the orgasmic-ness!

Porcelain like features, jet black spiky hair, pouty lips and onyx eyes surrounded by thick eyeliner and a nice lithe body. oh god delicous.

Come on Naruto speak damn it! Don't stand there with your mouth open like a fucking fish!

I grin at the thought and look down to the pools of black.

"Can I help you?" I ask cheekily poking the side of my lip with my tongue.

God why do I have to automatically start flirting? I swear I bet he's straight and gonna be all "ew get a way from me".

Sex on legs takes a step back from me and looks me up and down whilst smirking.

"Anytime" his voice is husky and low as he leans into me (mind you he's slightly shorter then me 5'10 maybe? so he has to lean upwards).

Okay maybe not as straight as I thought… my grin widens as I open my mouth to introduce myself.

"Sasuke leave the customer alone!" Yells the pink haired girl. Shut up fool!

Oh so I'm guessing maybe he works here.

She turns to grin sheepishly at me. "Sorry, his social skills are lacking."

She shoots a glare at him but this "Sasuke" fellow just shrugs and walks up to the front desk, therefore meaning I can take a better look at him. The smaller teen is wearing a black beater showing off his toned thin frame, he's got three quarter length jeans with random holes in showing his creamy skin, the bottom of them look as though they've been attacked or something and he's got a pair of black chunky shoes.

And I do believe he has more tattoos on his arms then Kiba has on his entire body; even though they're crowded they still have a nice effect.

"I don't mind, really." I shrug; he glances round and grins seductively tilting his head up slightly. So hot.

"Damn you Uzumaki!" I turn round at the sound of Kiba's voice, and watch him walk up to me, then throwing an arm round me casually.

"Tch, you cheatin' on me again? With Sasuke here? Disappointed mate." He says with shaking his head with mock hurt.

"Nu-uh!" I reply. "Your body is my temple." I grin and chuckle slightly.

"Oi, shut it you!" He glares.

We both grin for a moment and he finally drags me towards the front desk. Okay now would be a good time to tell him "no".

"Hey Sakura!" His grin widens and he releases me to leans on the counter. He then starts talking to the pink haired girl, a conversation which I am far too lazy to follow.

I find myself glancing round the spacious room, where loads of different pictures are...of tattoos…and blood... and red blotchy-ness…and the needles…gah.

Stop talking you two! I wanna go home…I should run home… maybe I should take Sasuke with me… no he'll just weigh me down.

Sasuke moves round the counter so he's standing next to me, but I'm far too engrossed in the thought of needles to really pay any notice.

Don't get me wrong it's not like I'm afraid of blood or things its simply needles which I'm not too fond of.

Well done Uzumaki, how you gonna get yourself out of this one? Maybe if I run really fast… he won't notice?

Damn I've gotta pay attention!

A finger tracing down my spine wakes me from my musing and I turn to see Sasuke walking round the counter into a room at the back.

Yummy… no even if he is pretty, no! Bad place! Must go home! I want Gaara… no I don't… I blame him for this! I can just tell he's smirking right now

"Anyway princess" Kiba grins and leans across the counter. Christ that could make anyone nervous!

"Is there anyway of squeezin' my Naruto in for a tattoo today, it'll only be a small one."

NOOOOOOOOOO!

No you fag! What makes you think I want one! Grrrr! I really should learn to pay attention…

The pink haired girl growls slightly as her eyebrow's furrow together.

"Kiba you've got to stop doing this to us! You know we're not fully staffed!" She snaps.

Score!

Oh yes there is a god! I bet its Jeremy Kyle…

"Oh that's alright, I don't mind just waiting for you Kiba" I try not to look too happy but I can just feel my face slowly cracking. Aha.

Jeremy Kyle works in mysterious ways…

Kiba then glances at me looking uncertain.

I grin at him. "Seriously it's okay… I might come with you another day to get one done."

Yeah, with "might" meaning "never"!

Sasuke then parades out of the room, now shirtless (well there's no blaming him 'cause this heat is murderous, now if only he'd lose the pants…), so he's now showing off his small yet muscular frame with more decorations covering his chest. But at the base of his stomach he has to guns on either side near his hips, pointing downwards, the tip of the guns are underneath his jeans going down to his groin.

… Yes molesting him would be a good idea…

"I'll do him." Came his hot, hot voice.

Wait a minute- aha. God I'm such a perv…I've really got to stop thinking all together.

I glance at Sasuke who chuckles slightly "I'd like to do that too, but sadly it's against our policy. But if you're willing I'll do your tattoo for you." He finishes smirking.

"Either would be fine" I grin as he steps towards me and leans into my chest.

Wait…. No, no! Bad man! You can't! I don't want one! Just go back into your little room or something!

"Sasuke stop it!" Yells Sakura angrily. I think some one has a problem…

Hmm maybe I should get something done… then when he's not looking I'll pounce on him, aha.

What am I thinking? Noo!

"Is that okay with you princess" Kiba looks at Sakura with a superior smug look on his face. God slap him girl!

"Fine." She sighs tucking some loose hair behind her ear. "But you gotta pay some up front."

"Good, good. Hey Naruto how about an early birthday present on my dad eh?" grinning he then pulls out a shiny blue credit card. Yeah his dads loaded.

"My birthdays not for months you idiot" I hiss.

"Meh, I owe you for blowing up your microwave anyway" He shrugs and hands the plastic over to her anyway.

"Well I guess you're gonna be stuck with me for a while." He whispers into my ear, tracing ghost like finger tips down my arm until he reaches my hand, were he proceeds to drag me into the back room with him.

Damn… I really should learn to stand my ground and say no…

Oh well…this could be interesting to say the least.

XXX

To be continued… aha?

And if you people are as nice as you all claim it would be nice for you to review... nice :)

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