Disclaimer: I own nothing from ABC's Scandal.

Mellie sat on their warm bed, covered in a blue comforter and hand knit blanket by her grandmother as a wedding gift, unable to feel the space heater blowing warm air on her feet. All she could feel was the lonely, cold January air wrap itself around her. She looked around their master bedroom in a daze, seeing the same white carpet, the same soft green walls with white baseboards, the same large square window directly across from the bed and the same lace curtains at its edges. She noticed the same wooden furniture along the wall, the same white wooden door to the left of the bed that led to their closet.

She heard the same ceiling fan circulating. She saw the same lights in the backyard shining through the window. She even heard the same songs her husband liked to sing while he was in the shower coming from the bathroom, and the water quickly cut off.

She was the only thing that was different.

She came back around and looked down at her pink cotton pajama pants and white undershirt, feeling like she might throw up if she didn't tell him soon. She needed to tell someone, but trusted no one. Her mind was going as fast as it could, trying to piece together the courage and words to tell him that his own father raped her only six weeks ago. How could she possibly explain her feelings towards Jerry to him, what a sick and twisted, sex-crazed pervert he was? How could she talk about his own father like that to him? The fear of Fitz not believing her lingered in the back of her mind as she continued to listen to him in the bathroom, the sink running, the shower curtain being pulled back. She knew by now that he was brushing his teeth and combing his hair, and she didn't have much longer left to come up with a plan. Her body began to tense up and she went in and out of the daze, trying to forget Jerry's tightening grip on her arms, his panting body on top of hers, her forceful hands, his wicked smile as he stole her innocence and love. She tried to forget it all and think of how to tell Fitz, but couldn't come up with anything. Her hands got cold and she felt a tightening in the pit of her stomach as the bathroom door opened and the light went off, but she didn't know if it was nerves or the baby.

The baby, she thought.

She had almost forgotten. She never could get her mind fully off him. They were having a baby. An actual replica of the two of them.

They had gone to the doctor early that chilly morning, looking like snow, and sat in the waiting room.

The warmth couldn't get to her there either. She put on like nothing was wrong as they waited for their name to be called. She held her husband's hand when he offered it, and rested her head on his shoulder, making sure he knew nothing.

Come to think of it, no one knew.

A youthful, cheery voice rang out above the soft sound of the two televisions in the blue painted room filled with uncomfortable chairs.

"Grant?"

They both looked up at the same time and saw the nurse holding a clipboard and smiling. They got up, her leading the way, her sheepskin boots making loud thuds with every step. The nurse gave her a gown to put on and a cup, and showed her the bathroom. Mellie came out a few minutes later, still with her pants on because of how cold she was, in that hideous blue polka dot paper gown. She saw Fitz down the hall, leaned against the wall, reading a brochure he found about estrogen. He heard her boots hit the tile floor and looked up, putting it back in its slot box and going towards her.

"Aren't you cute," Fitz said with a smile, hugging her. "The nurse said for us to wait in room three."

Mellie rolled her eyes and denied it. "It's not cute."

She hated these ugly things more every time she got near a hospital. They go in and the nurse comes up, shutting the wooden door behind them and putting her chart in it for the OB-GYN. Mellie sat on the exam table and Fitz sat in the chair against the wall, feeling cramped, and observing the row of cold, metal tools laid out along the countertop.

"So do they…?"

"Yeah," Mellie replied quickly, hoping she doesn't get poked around too much. "Not the most fun time of your life."

"I bet not," Fitz sighed as he shuddered, his gray jacket not helping much with the cold air. He can tell she's nervous, but also excited. Her blue eyes always widened when she was anxious about anything, and he tried not to stare, but as he turned his head to the door, a little smile formed on his face. She had caught him looking and asked him about it.

"Whatcha thinking about over there?"

She puts her hands on the cool fabric on the table, letting her upper body weight fall in her arms as she swung her feet back and forth slowly. His eyes met hers and his smile widened. He readjusts his leather watch on his left wrist as he crosses his legs.

"Nothing. I can tell you're anxious about this, that's all."

She smiles and looks down at her feet in embarrassment. "So are you."

She tries to hide her fear, the fear of, if she is pregnant, the baby not being Fitz's. She immediately remembers that night again, replaying all of it over and over, unable to stop it, unable to think of happier times of her and Fitz making love, unable to-

The steel door opened slowly, to her surprise. Apparently she hadn't heard the doctor knock. She watched Dr. Ryde come in, dressed in gray slacks, a white button down, gray heels, and a white lab jacket with her name across the left breast, and OB-GYN behind it.

"How are you today, Mrs. Grant?" Dr. Ryde asks, shaking both of their hands.

"Fine, how are you?" Mellie thought it was awfully rude of her to assume she was now a Mrs. just because Fitz had come with her, but overlooked it. She had other things on her mind.

"I'm good. I understand you're here to determine if you're pregnant?"

Dr. Ryde pulled a rolling chair out from under the counter desk, sitting down in it and setting Mellie's chart on the table as she takes off her glasses. Mellie keeps her eyes focused on the doctor, but feels Fitz still staring at her, at her broken body. Mellie nods gently, seeing Fitz smile out of the corner of her eye.

"When was your last cycle?"

"December 8th."

Dr. Ryde writes a few things down and gets back to her questions. "So it's been two weeks since you've missed your period. Is that unusual or not? Have you made any changes lately, like diet, exercise, sex, work?"

Mellie puts her hands together and rests them in her lap, tucking her hair behind her left ear, noticing her wedding ring. She never really looked at it all the time any more; they had been married seven years already. But right then, she noticed it, and realized Jerry stole everything it ever meant from her.

She remembers the doctor asked her a question.

"A week off is extreme. A day or two, not so bad. Nothing new, really. A couple of conferences and presentations coming up. I guess you could say we had sex more often than normal?" She replies, hoping that answered the question. She didn't want to have to think about them. She looks over at Fitz and he laughs softly, sitting up straight in the chair, uncrossing his legs and letting his brown suede shoe soles rest on the floor. He shrugs and smiles, looking at Dr. Ryde, then his wife.

"A little bit. I can't help I have a gorgeous, loving wife."

Mellie blushes and Dr. Ryde smiles a little, writing things down on the chart. Fitz pulls his phone out and checks his emails and social media.

"So it sounds like things are going well, then. Have you felt any different, noticed any symptoms?" She asks, tapping her pen gently on the countertop.

'Of course something's different, I was raped,' Mellie thought. All she can see in her mind is Jerry over her, and she remembers that awful feeling of him penetrating her, taking everything good from her. She closes her eyes and chokes out a few words.

"Not that I know of."

"Ok. Well, I would like to take another specimen and examine you, just to be sure."

Mellie nods her head again, the words piling up in her throat, but unable to speak.

"Would you like to do this alone?" Dr. Ryde asks, seeing she is obviously nervous and looks at Fitz.

"He can stay if he wants," Mellie sighs quietly, really not wanting him to be there, to see her soiled body.

Fitz looks up at her and shrugs. "It's whatever you want me to do, baby."

Mellie stands up and takes her shoes and pants off, folding them up neatly and setting them on the table. She almost takes her panties off but stops before she does and sighs.

"I... would like to do this in private," she says quietly, keeping her head down, unable to look at Fitz. He looks up from his phone again and is slightly confused, but understands. It gives her a better sense of comfort and confidentiality being alone.

"I'll be out in the hall if you need me, Mels," he says, wanting to let her know he was still there if she needed comforting. He stands up and puts his phone in his pocket, opening the door and closing it behind himself. He sits in a chair a few yards away, still wondering what the deal was. It's not like they're strangers; they've had sex before. They know each other inside and out.

Mellie takes off her panties and sits back down on the table, lying back and putting her feet in the stirrups. She feels like she's going to freeze before it all gets over with as she watches Dr. Ryde wash her hands and put on latex gloves.

"It'll be over quick, I promise. Will barely feel a thing," Dr. Ryde assures her as she picks up a small metal tool and sits back down on the stool, rolling over to the table. She can sense something's not entirely right with Mellie, and wonders if it has to do with the visit. She turns on the light and repositions it, then sees Mellie with her eyes closed tightly.

"Just relax for me, Mellie. We can't have you all tense now."

Mellie lets out a big sigh, feeling her body rest slowly, her muscle relaxing, heart being uplifted. She feels at peace for the first time, like all of her burdens disappeared, like she was back to nor-

It all changed the second she felt that cold piece of metal scraping her insides.

'It's all in my mind,' she thought, remembering she needed to relax her body. Jerry couldn't have control of her anymore. He couldn't control her mind, her thoughts, her feelings. But he did. His actions controlled her emotions and made her think and plan out every single move she made, all in order to be a step ahead. She tried to think of happier times, like back to when she and Fitz met back in law school, going on their first date, falling in love, him proposing to her, all of it took her back, sent her into a calming daze, so calm she didn't hear Dr. Ryde when she said she was finished.

"Mellie?"

Mellie opened her eyes and realized it was all over, and she could relax, but also be tense. She never understood how someone could be both until now.

"We're done for today. You can get dressed and I should have the results by tomorrow, maybe sooner. I'll call you when I do. Good luck to you and Mr. Grant."

She takes off the gloves and throws them in the trashcan, washing her hands again. She gathers her clipboard and puts the stool back under the counter, then grabs the chart and sees Mellie sit up.

"If you need me, call me. Good seeing you again."

She walks out of the room and Mellie sighs with relief, lying back on the table again for a moment. She quickly gets down and gets dressed, thinking the whole time.

What if she really was pregnant?

The thought, the shock of it all had never occurred to her. What if she was pregnant? They would become parents, they would have to take care of a helpless human for years, giving up part of their lives to mold another.

She and Fitz were always careful, but had never thought about kids or even talked about having any yet. They were still young. She was only 33, and he was 37, the youngest governor in the history of Texas. They had time if they wanted some babies. But they never showed much interest, so they never talked about it. She was on the pill, had been since college, as a precaution, and they used a condom when they were worried about the pill not working, which was rare. But they were still safe, and the pill had always worked, possibly until now. She shook her head, reminding herself it would all play out the way God intended, and went out into the hallway to find Fitz.

She found him sitting in a plastic black chair at the end of the hall, his phone in hand, reading popular articles of the day on Yahoo. He heard her footsteps and looked up, putting his phone away and standing up.

"How did it go?"

He opens his arms for a hug and she embraces him, trying to not let on her hesitation. His arms fit perfectly around her body and his hands rest on her lower back as he places kisses on the top of her head. She closes her eyes and she feels ok for once, safe, almost back to who she used to be.

"She said she would call us when she got the tests back," Mellie told him.

"So what are you thinking right now?"

He pulls away slowly and they start down the hall, back through the lobby full of women and out to his truck. As they get in and he turns it on to warm up, he can tell she's hesitant to answer.

"I'm excited," she pauses, taking a deep breath. "But I'm scared."

"What makes you scared?" Fitz asks, wondering why she could possibly be scared about such an amazing thing. He looks at her, noticing her gray sweater matching her sheepskin boots, her hair resting beautifully around the outline of her face. He thinks about it himself, and realizes he's afraid too. They'll have to learn how to adjust to taking care of a baby, managing work and staying up with him or her, going to doctors, looking at pre-schools, finding the best babysitter, and most of all, they'll have to learn how to find time for each other.

Mellie looks down at the gray mat in the floorboards, then at the radio clock-10:27 a.m.

'What am I scared about? Only the fact that 'our baby' could really be your father's son, your brother,' she thought.

His brother.

That was one of the most painful thoughts, one that made her feel the guiltiest of all. What if the child she was possibly carrying was her husband's brother? It sounded like some backwoods, in-bred story or something she would only think of coming from a drama or nightmare. But it was real, a real possibility.

"Having to devote all our time to raising this child, the fact that another human is growing inside of me, that we created it and now we have to love and nurture it for the rest of our lives. You're the governor, you're busy with your work, so am I, and I don't know how we'll ever have time to even eat or sleep or anything else when this baby comes. I just...I just don't know about it. And I'm not suggesting an abortion, I would never even have to think twice about that. That will never happen unless it was absolutely necessary. But are we really ready to be responsible for someone else's life?" She asked, it really hitting him hard.

Fitz settled back into the leather seat, realizing everything she said was true. They had learned how to take care of each other, or so he thought, but figuring out how to care for a child that can't even speak and to do it for years was going to be a whole new ball game.

"I don't know the answer. That will just have to be something we'll find out along the way. But I do know that we will figure it out and you will be a good mother. Worry about all of that when the time comes, Mel," He says, running his fingers through his wavy hair.

He sighs quietly and backs up, then gets back on the road to go home. He looks over at her and can tell she's still worried about something. He can see it in her eyes, in her nonexistent smile.

"Something else bothering you, baby?"

It took everything in her not to scream, not to yell out for help. For him to hear her cries would be the greatest thing. Maybe he could help her, but she hadn't built up the strength to tell him. Not yet. She looked out the window and answered him quietly.

"It's nothing."