Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach nor any of its characters. They all belong to Tite Kubo.
Now off to the story!
Long Kiss Goodbye
"I will come again in one hour and if you haven't eaten by then….. I will restrain you and force you to.. That's a promise.."
Ulquiorra Cifer's words sounded cruel to Orihime Inoue's ears and heart that time….. Looking back, however, she wished he did come back that time. Yet, once time has passed, it cannot be reversed and Orihime could only watch as her captor, the Cuatro Espada, fought a losing battle against Kurosaki Ichigo- no, the bloodthirsty and merciless Hollow creature that Ichigo has become moments ago as response to her cry of saving her and Ishida- as her heart was being clenched by the cold fingers of fear brought by the feeling of not being able to see the Espada again.
The creature, using Sonido, moved behind Ulquiorra and lifted its bare hand to strike. The Espada, Lanza del Rampago in hand, immediately moved away just in time to barely dodge the creature's swipe.
"You think this will make me hesitate? Don't underestimate me," said Ulquiorra as he charged at the creature.
However, the creature grasped the Espada's spear using one hand and within a few moments, shattered it easily. Sand flew about the two and when it cleared, the creature slashed at Ulquiorra across his chest and up to his head, severing one of his Murcielago's horns. The Espada's blood splattered skyward. On the other hand, Orihime's blood ran cold at the sight and seemed to almost still.
"He… won…." mumbled Ishida, who was beside Orihime.
Orihime didn't hear him though over the sound of her heart's mad thumping for Ulquiorra. He was the one who took her away from her world and friends, but during her time in Hueco Mundo, he has become someone irreplaceable to her. Someone she wanted to be by her side. Ulquiorra listened to her. His words, though most of the time cruel, was what strengthened her will. His presence was what kept her sane, was what gave her comfort, was what made her feel safe despite being in enemy territory, and was what drove away the loneliness that crept in her heart. What she truly felt for the Cuatro Espada, Orihime wasn't sure herself. She was sure, though, that she didn't want Ulquiorra to die. But what could she do when her body was frozen with terror of what she has wrought, alarm of what Ichigo has become, and anxiety for her captor?
"I can't believe I was beaten by some human turned Hollow…. How ridiculous…" Ulquiorra's words only served to add to Orihime's fear.
The seconds that passed seemed like years to Orihime as she stared at Ulquiorra and the creature, wishing the inevitable to not happen. However, fate was against her. Orihime's dread grew and grew as the creature lowered its head and aimed a cero point blank at the Cuatro Espada.
"I see… No mercy eh? How very Hollow-like. I don't care. I have no reason to live now that you've beaten me… Do it," the Espada told the creature, to Orihime's utmost despair.
No.
No.
No.
Kurosaki-kun… Please… Don't do it.. Please..
Ulquiorra… don't… I beg of you….don't die on me….
Orihime wanted to scream, but her voice betrayed her. She wanted to run and stop Kurosaki from destroying himself and Ulquiorra, but her body rejected her. She wanted to not see any more merciless acts, but her eyes refused to do so. Orihime so badly wished for a miracle to happen that will stop the creature from killing her Cuatro Espada, but fate denied her.
The creature's cero was released, and a blinding light engulfed the top of Las Noches. In contrast, Orihime's heart was consumed by darkness. Was that even the Kurosaki she so greatly loved and swore five lifetimes to? He was worse than the worst of the Espadas!
As the light receded, the darkness in Orihime's heart grew at the sight she saw. The creature was holding the upper half of Ulquiorra, and without further ado, tossed it to the side. Orihime's eyes stared with emptiness as the creature lifted Zangetsu at what remained of the Espada. Haven't the creature had enough? What was the point in carving up Ulquiorra's corpse?
Kurosaki-kun…..
What have you done….?
Where's your mercy….?
Kurosaki-kun… where are you..?
Orihime's breathing became ragged as she watched the creature bring down the Zanpakuto at its enemy. Before Zangetsu could touch Ulquiorra though, a hand grabbed the creature's sword arm and thus stopping the Zanpakuto's decent.
"That's enough Kurosaki," Ishida told the creature.
Ishida….. Orihime's empty eyes bore on the Quincy. He looked calm and collected, but Orihime could feel the doubt and fear behind his face. Most of all, however, she could feel the murderous intent emanating from the creature.
Ishida-kun….
No…. Go away…..
You might get hurt….
"You've won. He may be the enemy, but there's no need to carve up his corpse," continued Ishida.
The creature made no move to stop. Instead, it attempted to finish what it wanted and struggled against Ishida's grip.
"That's enough Kurosaki…."Ishida repeated.
Orihime could feel the creature's desire to kill grow, and at once, she knew that it might attack Ishida unless the Quincy moved out of its way. She has lost Ulquiorra. Orihime was well aware that she'd finally lose it once the creature takes Ishida too.
"Kurosaki!" Ishida yelled in desperation, trying to call out to his friend that he knew was sleeping somewhere inside the creature.
That was the last straw. What Orihime dreaded came to pass. The creature impaled the Quincy with Zangetsu.
"Ishida!" Orihime screamed, her sanity slowly breaking. She reached out for Ishida and tried to stand.
No.
No.
No.
Not Ishida too!
"You…. Help…. I'll…. Help… you…." the creature suddenly stated, halting Orihime's movements.
"Help me, Kurosaki-kun!" What she screamed in misery over Ichigo's dead body earlier replayed inside her head. All at once, a hurting realization hit her.
It's my fault.
Because of what I said, Kurosaki-kun tried to help me.
Why?
I trained so hard so I wouldn't be a burden to him.
I came here because I wanted to protect him.
So why, when it came to it… Why did I want him to save me?
Orihime was snapped out of her thoughts as she caught sight of the creature aiming a cero at Ishida. The darkness in her heart grew even more. It was her fault that Ulquiorra died… It was her fault that Ichigo has turned into a merciless, murderous beast… It was going to be her fault if Ishida would lose his life.
Ulquiorra…. Help….
The thought flashed in Orihime's mind. And then it hit her. If there was one person she felt protected the most, she trusted her safety the most, and she believed in the most who would save her and could dispel her fears away…. It was Ulquiorra. However, he was killed. Because of her. Guilt, immense hurt, sadness, loneliness and emptiness ate away her insides. She wouldn't let Ishida have the same fate.
"Stop Kurosaki-kun! Kurosaki-kun!" Orihime cried out in anguish.
The creature didn't seem to hear her though. The cero grew and grew, almost at ready. Orihime's agony and apprehension multiplied and multiplied.
Ulquiorra….. Help….. The thought once again crossed Orihime's mind.
As though hearing her thoughts, Ulquiorra appeared behind the creature with his lance at hand. Orihime's heart skipped a beat or two. The Espada slashed and cut off one of the creature's horns, thus making the creature's cero lose its course. The cero was released skywards and once again the area was surrounded in a blinding light.
When the blinding light vanished, Ichigo's mask broke apart, and the shinigami fell. Orihime immediately ran to her friend's side, although her eyes remained glued on Ulquiorra.
He's alive…. She thought in relief. No, she felt very happy. No, "very happy" was an understatement at what she felt knowing that Ulquiorra was still alive. Her heart hammered in her chest in glee, wanting to break free. Tears of joy pooled her eyes. And at that moment, Orihime finally realized her feelings for the Cuatro Espada. She badly wanted to hug her captor that moment and tell her what he meant to her, but her knees gave away beside Ichigo. Just in time, a light once again filled the area as Ichigo's wound on the chest healed.
"The hole closed up?" Orihime heard Ishida question in shock.
"High speed regeneration!" Ulquiorra exclaimed.
Hearing Ulquiorra's voice washed away all of Orihime's fear from earlier without warning, and all the more made her feelings for the Espada show up from its hiding place insideher heart. She then tore her gaze away from the Espada to look to Ichigo.
"Kurosaki-kun?" Orihime called out to her precious friend.
The Shinigami abruptly rose and clutched his chest.
"Wasn't there a hole in my chest?" Ichigo exclaimed.
"Kurosaki-kun…" Orihime whispered in a sigh of relief. The Kurosaki-kun that she knew was finally there, not the merciless creature he was a while ago.
"Inoue, you okay?" asked Ichigo.
Orihime smiled in response and then turned her gaze to her unlikely savior, Ulquiorra. Her smile grew wider as the Espada's eyes met hers, and then she tuned out of Ishida and Ichigo's conversation. Orihime let herself get lost into her captor's current topaz eyes.
Thank you… Ulquiorra… I'm glad you're safe… She silently conveyed through her eyes. Ulquiorra's gaze seemed to soften in response, but Orihime noticed sadness pass through his golden orbs. What was the sadness for? Pushing the thought aside, Orihime opened her mouth to finally voice out her feelings for the Espada.
However, Ulquiorra's attention was stolen at the sound of Ichigo's voice calling his name. Orihime closed her lips and then settled to just follow Ulquiorra. She still couldn't get over the fact that her captor was still breathing. That HE helped HER a while ago.
Ulquiorra walked to where Ishida was and removed Zangetsu from the Quincy. The Espada then threw the Zanpakuto to Ichigo.
"Take it," Ulquiorra stated, "Let's finish this."
"Did I… attack Ishida?" Ichigo asked instead.
"Don't ask me," responded Ulquiorra.
"Am I the one who cut off your arm and leg?" questioned the Shinigami. Ulquiorra didn't answer, and then that's when Orihime noticed something off about the Espada. A foreboding feeling then settled in her.
Ulquiorra….
"Then cut off my arm and leg too!" Ichigo declared, pulling back Orihime to the current situation.
"Kurosaki-kun!" Orihime's eyes darted between the Shinigami and the Espada, but lingered more on her captor. He… seemed to be having a difficulty breathing… Orihime noticed. She furrowed her eyebrows at this observation, that feeling of gloom starting to cover ice in her heart. Orihime was once again plunged into her thoughts and was tuned out of the conversation happening.
What was wrong with Ulquiorra?
He was regenerating fine…. Or was he?
"My greatest power isn't offense. It's regeneration. Most Arrancars traded high-speed regeneration for brute strength, but I alone am able to quickly regenerate any part of myself except my brain and internal organs" Orihime recalled Ulquiorra's statement a while ago.
Internal organs…. Don't tell me…..!
Orihime's heart stilled and her eyes widened as what she feared came true. Ulquiorra's body, without warning, was slowly starting to disintegrate to ash.
"Hmph… I guess that's it for me…" Ulquiorra said. Orihime's heart shattered.
No….
No…
No…
Not again….
Just when I realized my feelings for Ulquiorra….
"Kill me," Ulquiorra told Ichigo," Hurry up. I don't even have the strength to walk…. If you don't kill me now, it'll never be over.."
Orihime clutched her hands over her aching heart. Ulquiorra knew… That's why there was sadness in his eyes earlier…. She clenched her fist over hear chest even tighter. This was too painful….. Even more painful than what she felt for her brother's death… Even more painful than what she felt for Ichigo's death and suffering…
"I won't do it," Ichigo replied.
"What..?" asked Ulquiorra.
"I said no… This isn't the way I wanted to win!" the Shinigami exclaimed.
"Hmph.. Even in the end…. You never do what I want…." Ulquiorra stated and then turned his face to look at Orihime, "I'm finally starting to find you guys interesting.."
Orihime's eyes locked with Ulquiorra's emerald eyes. Her heart panged even more than possible. She felt weak, hopeless, useless, saddened, despaired, miserable, lonely, empty at the knowledge that Ulquiorra was dying, and she knew her eyes betrayed her emotions.
Ulquiorra reach out a hand to her. "Are you scared of me, Woman?" he asked.
Orihime wanted to fall to her knees that time and cry and cry and release all of her emotions. She was afraid, but not of Ulquiorra. She was afraid for Ulquiorra….
Why?
Why does he have to leave?
Why does he have to die just when I… just when I've come to know that I….?
….that I love Ulquiorra….
I love Ulquiorra… more than I ever did for Kurosaki-kun….
Willing herself to be strong, she steeled herself for Ulquiorra. It would do him no good if she broke down in front of him now. She then reached out her hand, along with her heart, in turn and answered, "I'm not scared.."
I love you Ulquiorra… she conveyed through her eyes.
"I see…" Ulquiorra stated. Whether he got the message in her eyes, Orihime wasn't sure. Just when her hands were about to reach her beloved's, Ulquiorra's hand crumbled to ashes and was swept away by the wind. Tears pricked Orihime's eyes and they fell down her cheeks in a race.
"I love you Ulquiorra…. I love you very much..." Orihime whispered to the wind as it blew his ashes, feeling the last of his presence and knowing that he could hear her still," I'll love no other… My heart is yours Ulquiorra…"
Out of the blue, she felt warmth behind her and encircle around her waists- it was him. His presence.
"I love you as well…. onna…." she heard his voice whisper to her ear with the wind.
When the wind has finally stopped blowing, Orihime fell to her knees, buried her face in her hands and sobbed uncontrollably. Earlier, she was so set to be by Ichigo and her friends' side and return to her world when Ulquiorra informed her about her friends' arrival in Las Noches. Earlier, she was so willing to denounce her connection with the Espada through her slap when he informed her of Sado-kun's demise.
"I will come again in one hour and if you haven't eaten by then….. I will restrain you and force you to.. That's a promise.."
His words echoed once again in her head, and she was pulled back deep into that memory. At that time, when he was about to go out of the door, she already felt that foreboding feeling that he wouldn't come again to her life… But what did she do? She lied to herself that she didn't care about that at the moment. She lied to herself that she wanted to be with her friends more than anything else…. And above all, she allowed herself to believe in her lie and refrained herself from saying three words that would've changed things.
Don't go away…
Three words that would've made her realize what she truly felt for the Cuatro Espada.
I love you….
So please…. Don't go away…
Maybe it was okay if she lied earlier… But still…. she couldn't even say "Don't go away"….
"I will come again in one hour…" the words replayed in her head like a melody….. And oh how she wished he would come again in an hour…. But no, he wouldn't be returning ever again….
Watashi nari ni "ai saretai" afureru no ni kimi ga mienai
Nido to kimi ni aenai sonna ki ga surunda...
Tsutaetai no ni umai kotoba miataranai
Watashi tabun uso demo ii no ni "ikanai de" mo ienai yo
( Even though "I want to be loved" in my own way, it fills me, but I can't see you
I just have the feeling that I'll never see you again...
I want to tell you that, but I can't find the right words
Maybe it's okay if I lie, but I can't even say "Don't go away" )
- "Long Kiss Goodbye" (7th Naruto Shippuden Ending Song) Chorus by HALCALI
