A/N: Lol, first uploaded joint fanfic? You're gonna need a sense of humor for this. Basically, so we don't get any "HEY YOUR CHARACTER IS A MARY SUE" flames, THE POINT OF THIS FANFICTION IS THAT SHE'S A MARY SUE. After all, Mary Sues are incredibly lol.

Remember, it's only hurtful if it's true! :D

--Nikki

And now, with no further adieu, we present the chronicles of Mary Gardenia as she traipses through a field of flowers while trying to make the world a better place and spread the power of rainbow sunshine love magic. Enjoy!

--Don


After hours of training, Naruto and Sakura were worn out. Kakashi had assigned a free day, but the three met anyway, to work on their chakra control. Sasuke was still nowhere to be found; he had traversed deeper into the shadowed silence of the trees, possibly to get a more calming, focused training session. Naruto, of course, scoffed after him, and stayed with Sakura.

As she ran up her beaten trunk, the carnation-haired girl felt her mind drifting to past conversations she had had with Sasuke that left her breathless, but his cold nature kept leaking and oozing through, coating her warm memories with a layer of bitter autumn frost. As Sakura paid attention less and less to her training, she felt the magnetic feeling in her soles begin to weaken, but did not notice until they failed to appear at all. She suddenly felt herself slipping and attempted to channel chakra into them so she could catch her place, but her feet only flipped her backwards so she was falling headfirst towards the grassy surface of the forest floor.

Sakura felt herself being pulled backwards towards the unwelcoming earth below, and tumbled down, arms hurriedly trying to grasp any jutting branch that might help slow her fall or keep her from hitting the ground. Tears began to form, spilling from her eyes and occasionally dripping onto strands of hair. She felt her lungs compress drastically, and despite widely opening her mouth and making choking gasps, no air relieved her constricted throat.

"Sakura!" Naruto screamed, leaping from his trunk. He propelled himself from the bark and shot himself towards his teammate, arms outstretched to rescue his lady from a horrible outcome. He let out a loud, tearing scream that caused several flocks of birds to flee as he watched her fall below his aim, making it impossible for him to save her. He realized too slowly that he had not only failed to save the object of his unrelenting affections, but had also put himself in mortal danger. She watched with a shocked expression and widened tourmaline eyes as her friend fell to the same fate. As the shadowed grass beneath her rapidly approached her, just about to meet the back of her head, she cried out, "Nar--"

He closed his eyes— a quick and rough shuffling of clothes was present, but nothing else…

Sounds of Sakura's disheveled sobs greeted Naruto's ears. He suddenly felt whatever air he had conserved leave him as his stomach met a thin, tight, muscular limb that he knew was not the flat, tightly-packed ground. Suddenly, his ears were nearly right next to her cries. He opened his eyes to see himself hovering a few feet above the ground, held just like his pink-haired teammate, who had not yet stopped sobbing desperately. He rolled his weight towards his feet, landing on them so he could finally see who had caught him and his teammate with an outstretched arm on their shoulder.

His eyes took in a startling beauty, a girl about his age. But no ordinary girl was she! Her hair was a nova, erupting with every shade of every color in the rainbow. Not only this, but, suspended as if by magic, these twinkling stones— topaz and aquamarines to rival the grandeur of the highest stars— were so gently placed throughout her silken locks. Her irises, of the same spectrum as her hair, danced and glistened in the shaking light from beneath moving leaves of tree canopies… but enough about the trees, for an unsettling beauty was blessing the presences of Naruto and his team. Her breasts were incredibly plump, but still very lively, and bounced cheerily with the slightest movement. They were encased in only a thin, stretchy cloth that was colored with the same pattern as a glorious regal sunset. This, of course, complimented her miniskirt which was dyed in the same demeanor. They reached from erratic crimsons to deep indigoes, and blinded the eyes of her onlookers with a brilliance that could have only been woven into clothing by a master tailor. She had a noticeable layer of ruby-colored eye shadow that shimmered with an iridescent glow, only bringing out the deep prisms of her eyes. Her blush was natural and caused all of her creamy skin to glow with an unnatural brilliance. Her posture was that of a divine nobility as she continued to hold a continually weeping Sakura on her shoulder.

"O-M-G!" the girl shouted, with a high, sweet voice, "Are you okay?!" Before the blonde shinobi could answer, the girl smiled widely, "My name is Mary. Mary Gardenia!" For quite a while, Naruto did not quite comprehend that she had been speaking, and not singing melodic, whimsical bars of forbidden, enchanted songs.

"My name is Naruto Uzumaki, and I'm going to be the next Hokage!" he caught his breath, taken from him by the cherubic mistress before him with but a mere glance into his eyes.

"Uzumaki? But..." She cast a downwards glance towards the faded grass that carpeted her shadow, "My ancestral name is Mary Gardenia Silkenlove Uzumaki! Do you possibly think that... we could be related?" She stared deeply into his ultramarine pools, causing a faint blush to sprinkle across his cheeks.

"B-But...I'm the last of my..." it was now his turn to throw his gaze to his shoes, a look of solemnity on his face.

"Forgive me…" Mary spoke, her sweet voice turning glum. She wept for Naruto's demise, the sparkling trails of oceanic teal staining her coral-tinged cheeks. She looked up at him, eyes filled with deep sorrow, and he had noticed that her eyes, once affluent with the essence of color, were now corrupted by a deep midnight-colored shade—to rival the desolate black of space. "I'm so sorry," she whimpered once again, falling to her knees and dropping Sakura on her face behind her. Sakura let out a muffled cry of shock and pain as her face met the ground as she feared it would, and she stiffened her body in an extremely unflattering pose. Behind her was the new, enigmatic damsel of mystery, who was dabbing her long eyelashes with a handkerchief. Words could not chronicle the beauty that was Mary Gardenia Silkenlove Uzumaki's sorrow, which mirrored a broken angel, sobbing for the unwarranted solitude faced daily by one Naruto Uzumaki, as though she could fully comprehend it from simply gazing into his eyes.

"Ah, I almost forgot," the girl said suddenly, erasing any traces of her sorrow, with no sign that she had been shedding tears, aside from a residual blush. She lifted herself from the ground, her knees still immaculately white. "I'm the current Kage of the Village Hidden in the Sparkling Rainbow Sunshine Ponies, also known as Ponoha! I might be able to put in a good word for you, and maybe your dream of being a Kage could come true!"


A/N: Well, hope you enjoyed the first intense chapter of our epic fanfic! So send us a review and tell us how hard you lol'd. It makes us feel happy.

--Don/Nikki