AN: This is another Christmas gift! Hope the person this is for loves it!
Cloud looks around Forgotten Capital, his shoulders drooping until he reaches the pool of water he laid Aerith to rest in. Everything is how he remembers it. He can still hear whispers of her prayers, feel Sephiroth trying to take him over. He can still see the man he once respected dropping down, down, down from the ceiling. He sees the red. Flinching back he stares at the black glistening water that practically shines under the filtered sunlight. It's been a year since she died but every day it feels just as fresh as the day it happened. The time he spent broken, almost comatose, a vegetable needing help with everything was the only time the guilt that weighs his soul was lifted. He failed her, he let her die.
"Always so hard on yourself," a soft voice sighs.
Wildly he spins around, his already wild blond hair wiping about. He knows that voice! Soft and lilting it has haunted his dreams, as it's owner held his heart.
"Always so sad, too."
"Aerith?" he asks voice barely a whisper.
"Of course, silly."
Finally, he spots her and the world freezes. The fact that she hasn't aged or changed nags at his mind but he pushes it aside. Her face is still soft and heart-shaped. Large eyes still that gentle sky blue as she takes him in like he is doing him. And her long braided brown hair is still as strokable. He takes a shaky step towards her, hand outstretched. She stays still, letting him touch her, cup her face. He laughs, mere huffs of air as they stand still except for a small movement where she raises her own hand to cradle his. She feels so real. you can't touch illusions, right?
"You carry so much unneeded guilt."
"I failed you," he states as if it explains everything.
"And yet you saved the world."
Cloud snorts in self-loathing.
"Cloud-"
"What good is saving the world if I couldn't save you?" he asks. His voice is raw and his other hand grabs at her dress. It's that soothing mix of slightly coarse and soft. She uses her thumb to stroke his hand, love clear in her eyes.
"You're still alive. You have a chance to be happy."
He grunts, not seeing the world as bright and positive as she does. So she makes it to where their foreheads meet grabbing his face with her other hand. She looks deep into his dark blue eyes, not letting him look away from her. Her heart aches as she sees the future, the life, that Cloud had wanted with her. A home, her, children, happiness. Taken away from him by a Sephiroth shaped Jenova mass. Tears slip down her face slowly. She had wanted that future as well. She had wanted children with her eyes and his hair or her hair and his eyes. She had wanted to be by his side forever.
"We will have a life together someday, in a different life. For now, live for me. Don't dwell on the past," she whispers before kissing him gently.
"I don't know if I can," he admits.
"You can."
He pulls away from her, face twisted.
"I don't blame you. Never have. I know you did your best."
She wraps her arms around him, hugging him to her. He stands stiffly before melting into her grip. Cloud turns brings her into a kiss. A stray, unwanted, thought pushes its way to the forefront of his mind. That this could just be a dream, vivid and surreal. If it is he'll soak it up, embrace it and pray that he never wakes. He's had dreams like this before, where he was able to save her, where they saved the world together, had a family. Where she felt warm and alive under his hands. And like his dreams soft kisses turn into more. They lay together, basking in the glow. Cloud holds her close, kissing her head. Her hand traces patterns on his skin and he relaxes. He runs his hands through her hair. It is as soft as he remembers.
"Do you remember our date at the Golden Saucer?" he asks her softly. She smiles and nods. It was wonderful walking around the Saucer, having fun while they worked. There had been trouble but it had been perfect.
"I do. I remember how you held my hand the entire night. We thought we had all the time in the world."
They settle into the silence. He feels his eyelids grow heavy and brings Aerith even closer to him.
"I miss this."
"As do I."
"I don't want to let you go. I can't let you go."
"You need to let me go. If only for a little bit. Latching onto the past is unhealthy," she tells him as he fights to stay awake. He doesn't want to sleep, he wants to stay with her. She rubs her nose against his.
"I will love you forever, Cloud. And I will be waiting for you."
She kisses his forehead and then she's gone. He curls into a ball and cries softly, allowing his pain to escape. He will go back to being stoic later. He will go back to being strong later. Right now he's going to let his emotions rule him. He falls asleep in that forgotten city. No dreams filter into his mind, just the pure darkness of sleep.
He wakes, dresses and makes his way out of the Capital. While he slept better than he has in a long time he doesn't feel any better.
"Always and forever Cloud. But you need to be happy."
He jumps and turns, looking for her. She isn't there and he feels brittle.
"I'll try," he promises. From the corner of his eyes, he sees a streak pink.
"That's all I ask. Remember, I'm always by your side."
Aerith watches as he leaves. Her heart stuttering, she doesn't want to let him go but she has too. The fate of the world rests on his shoulders. One day they will be together and then they can be reborn. They can find each other again and have the family they both desire more than they can put into words. Zack steps up beside her, a good friend to both her and Cloud.
"He's stubborn so we may have to hit him in the head one more time."
She throws back her head and laughs. That is, unfortunately, true but that is one of the many things she loves about him.
