Disclaimer: Don't own. (grimaces) This is probably a good thing.

A/N: So...Iron Man 3 trailer? Epic. Simply Epic. (Note the capital e, yes?) So, because I can't stop thinking about it, I wrote a h/c-y oneshot thing. You don't have to have seen the IM3 trailer to understand this, but it would help.

And. Pepperony is the sweetest thing ever.


What He Lives For

If they hadn't forgotten how, the tears would get out.

He closes his eyes, shakes his head.

When did he go wrong? When did he start to care?

When did he try to fix himself like a machine when he doesn't know a thing about what makes him happy?

"The truth is –" he has to have it. The recognition. The people screaming his name. The chaos whirling around his every word. The feeling of being so undeniably right that he knows whatever happens can bring it on because he's Tony Stark.

"I am Iron Man."

He can't cry. He just…shakes. Shakes like a leaf in wind, a heartbroken girl, a tossed coin before it falls flat.


Laughter.

It rings in his head among formulae for new elements and holograms of Stark Tower.

He, self-proclaimed genius-billionaire-playboy-philanthropist, is such an idiot.

Unbelievably. Unaccountably.

It's not like he didn't know what he was getting into.

It's not like he didn't think about it.

It's not like he wasn't twisted enough himself to know what could happen.

Pepper.

Pepper.

Pepper.

And they could ask anyone. Who does Tony Stark care about? Process of elimination, my dears. Who hasn't betrayed him yet? Uh, Pepper and his AI. Can't kidnap an AI. Damn it. Well, we'll just have to settle for the secretary-CEO-girlfriend. He'll come for her, won't he?

He shakes.

It wouldn't have taken genius. It wouldn't have taken complications.

Of course he, Tony Stark, would genuinely fall in love. Of course he, Tony Stark, would put a huge neon sign screaming "KILL ME" above their heads. Of course he, Tony Stark, would be lying in the snow hearing her screams burn through his head.

Of course he feels the water rushing up around him.


He made no disguises. He wanted the attention. He practically sat up and begged for this to happen.

He shakes his head again; makes several resolutions that he knows he'll never be able to keep.

That if they survive, the first thing he'll do is break up with Pepper. That if Pepper dies, he'll put strawberries and espresso by her grave (and he honestly does not know where that one came from.) That he will give her the phone he'd been working on for her as a surprise, the one that morphs into a bomb and can track her DNA from a five mile radius. That if he makes it to the tower he'll get himself drunk and have an argument with Jarvis.

He hates feeling helpless.

He hates seeing the pain in her eyes and knowing he can do nothing. Nothing.

When it's only him, he can stand it. Hell, he's been telling himself he's worthless since four. A little pain just makes someone else saying it.

But Pepper –

Pepper –

She's perfect. She's unbroken. She's always there for him. She knows everything. The look of wonder-disbelief-happiness-love on her face when she looks up at him, lips slightly parted, eyes wide, is what he lives for.

Why is it always when he has nothing that he realizes how much he had?