Disclaimer-I don't own Passions
It Only Hurts When I'm Breathing
Beth sat on her pew, staring silently at her hands. She had no tears for her lost lover and his new favorite. Luis and Sheridan were getting married, and she could do nothing about it. All her tricks and lies had been futile.
Her mother, of course, had been the one to betray her after recovering from her second heart attack Luis and Sheridan had been horrified, not to mention Pilar and the rest of the Lopez-Fitzgerald clan, along with the Cranes.
Thank God the old witch Mrs. Wallace was finally dead! Beth was only upset that it was a liver infection that had taken her and not Beth's own hands. Thanks to her, instead of being Beth Lopez-Fitzgerald, she was doomed to forever stay Beth Wallace, an orphaned, unloved old maid.
Being invited to Luis and Sheridan's wedding had been a slap to the face. Sheridan had meant it as a way to show she had forgiven Beth, but Beth felt a stinging punch of spite.
Her eyes gazed all over the church, where Harmony's citizens had assembled in couples. There were T.C. and Eve, Rebecca and Julian, Sam and Grace, Reese and Jessica. Whitney and Chad sat together, as did Charity and Miguel. Theresa and Fox sat together, Theresa supporting Little Ethan. Ethan sat with Gwen. Those not attached sat in a little group, consisting of Pilar, Simone, Kay, Gwen, Ivy, and David. Antonio, fully cured, was sitting with Liz.
Only Beth sat completely alone.
The ceremony was over. Beth silently stood up, not intending to stay for the reception. She quietly wished Luis well and walked out.
Hope life's been good to you since you've been gone
I'm doing fine now; I've finally moved on
Sheridan stopped her before she stepped out the door. "Beth, you look pretty upset. Was I wrong to invite you?"
'Yeah, you were so wrong it's not even funny,' Beth thought. "I'm fine," she said. "I just need some air. You go be with Luis. He married you." Beth said her last sentence in a voice of bile.
It's not so bad
I'm not that sad
"Are you sure?" Sheridan asked.
"I'm FINE," Beth insisted. "I'm strong, Sheridan."
"Stronger than me, I know," Sheridan said.
"I'll live. I just wanna get out for awhile." Beth brushed past Sheridan and walked out.
I'm not surprised just how well I survived
I'm over the worst and I feel so alive
I can't complain
I'm free again
20 feet away from the church, she completely broke down.
And it only hurts when I'm breathing
My heart only breaks when it's beating
My dreams only die when I'm dreaming
So I hold my breath
To forget
Tears fell silently from her face and made little drops in the sidewalk, like rain. She furiously wiped her eyes with her arm, and her sleeve was smeared with salty teardrops. Her vision was blurry as she pressed onwards. She passed the cemetery, stopping only long enough to hurl a few choice curses and nasty thoughts at her mother's grave.
"Beth?" A hand suddenly grabbed her arm.
Beth's tears instantly dried as she recognized the voice. She swung around and found herself face-to-face with Luis.
"Sheridan told me you left in a hurry. Is everything all right?"
"Oh…well…well, yes," Beth said. She even managed a faint smile. "Why shouldn't it be?" Her heart thudded against he ribs. She thought for certain that Luis could hear it.
Don't think I'm lying around crying at night
There's no need to worry; I'm really all right
"I just thought…" Luis trailed off uncertainly. "Well, I have to get back to the church."
"Yeah, you do that."
Luis turned to leave, but suddenly turned back and looked at her.
"Luis?"
Luis bent over and kissed her cheek softly. "Just for old time's sake."
Beth's weak smile weakened even more. "It'll always be old time."
I've never looked back
As a matter of fact
She turned and walked away. A part of her screamed for her to turn around and rush into Luis' arms, love him all over, plead for him not to go, but another part told her to keep walking, told her she was strong and she needed to keep on walking away. Her strong part had won over; she was leaving Luis behind. But there was still a pang of hurt in her broken heart.
And it only hurts when I'm breathing
My heart only breaks when it's beating
My dreams only die when I'm dreaming
So I hold my breath
To forget
It only hurts when I breathe
Luis's kiss lingered on her face. Vehemently, she wiped her face with the back of her hand. With that stroke of her hand, she wiped away thousands of sweet memories, but she could not erase the hurt.
I've never looked back
As a matter of fact
And it only hurts when I'm breathing
My heart only breaks when it's beating
My dreams only die when I'm dreaming
So, I hold my breath
To forget
Beth was at Tabitha's house. The old witch had finally passed on, to be with her beloved Timmy. Beth envied her that. If an old, annoying crone like that could be with her true love…Beth's blood boiled with jealousy.
Beth slowly opened the door, and suddenly she was overwhelmed with heartache. She could feel her heavy heart beating slower in her chest. Her feet dragged as she walked into the kitchen. She felt her life slowly draining from her and a sadness taking over her body. She was losing the will to fight, the will to live. Without Luis, what was the point of living?
Hurts when I'm breathing
Breaks when it's beating
Die when I'm dreaming
Tabitha's house had not been changed. People were frightened to go in there. Hellish forces were said to live in the basement. Kay's insistence that Tabitha was a witch scared many others off.
"The perfect place for a suicide," Beth said out loud.
She glanced around the kitchen and came upon a pot of knives. She pulled one out.
It was a butcher knife, shiny gray with a red-colored wooden handle. She stared at her reflection in the blade and saw the incarnation of grief.
Slowly she held out her left arm and rolled up her sleeve. She bent her hand down, watching the little veins in her wrist stand out. She placed the edge of the blade against her wrist.
She didn't care how this would affect Harmony. She didn't know whether her death would take her the reaches of Heaven or the bowels of Hell, but she didn't care about that either. This was the end.
She yanked back her arm, slicing through the skin. Blood gushed out of her flesh wound and rolled across the palm of her limp hand. She felt no pain at all. She maneuvered her right hand so the blade was against her other wrist. With a quick toss she threw the knife into the air. It came crashing down and slit her skin, and more blood poured out in streams onto her wrist.
"I can't hurt anymore," she said.
It only hurts when I breathe
Her mind went blank and her eyes closed. Her legs quivered and her balance faltered, and her consciousness left her.
Just as she was about to crumple in a dead heap on the tiled kitchen floor when a pair of arms caught her in mid-air and stayed her fall.
Hank had just saved Beth's life.
Did anyone see that coming? If you notice, Hank was the only one not at the wedding.
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