Disclaimer: I don't own the characters. Just my ideas and the story I wrote.
….
Christmas Miracles
Lily sighed, closing the door behind her. It had been an eventful Christmas day. Family from all over had come to visit; the house was crowded with people. Usually she enjoyed being around family for the holidays but this time, it seemed a bit too overwhelming. She had grown tired of lying to distant family members about how she was doing with school. If anyone asked how subjects like Mathematics, Science or English were going, she always responded with the common response of, "good" or "it can be a challenge but I'm doing well." Sometimes she imagined what their reaction would be if she told them that everything they had been informed was a lie, and that she was really a witch at a school called Hogwarts. Her great grandmother would surely have a heart attack. That was not something she wanted on her conscience so she always discarded the thought.
There was no reason to stir up unnecessary trouble on a day that was supposed to be joyful. Everyone around her was in a delightful mood, even Petunia, mostly because she got to show off her new fiancé. She wondered why she couldn't feel happy as well. There was no good reason to be lamentable. Her family members were alive and healthy, she had received more than she deserved in the way of gifts, and she had a wonderful boyfriend with which she was to spend some of her holiday. Nothing felt right though. Lily knew something was missing… Someone was missing… She had hoped that all of the busyness of the day and holiday would distract her from acknowledging it, but the feeling could not be avoided.
When everyone had finally left, Lily excused herself to her room for the night. If there was anything that would help relieve her from her troubling feelings, it was sleep- unless of course her dreams would reflect them too. They often did. It was then that she remembered where she put all of her gifts. Sweaters, scarves, dresses, necklaces and other items littered her bed. Not only was the day filled with relatives, but also with presents as well. She had gotten so much that she was not entirely sure what she had received.
All that went through her mind when clearing off space to lie down was, "Is it right to want more?"
Lily Evans was not a selfish or ungrateful girl such as her sister who often complained about what she had gotten. She was very happy with what she had received but had really only wanted one thing for Christmas- one thing she knew she would not get.
She gathered all of the smaller gifts into her arms such as nail polish and bracelets then began to stuff them onto a shelf. In the midst of placing the items on the shelf, something slipped off and landed to the floor with a crash. Lily gasped and dropped to her knees. It was a picture frame; its glass had shattered and broken. She turned over the broken frame and began to pick up the pieces of glass, putting them in her left hand. It was then that she saw the photograph. Her heart sunk. It was a moving photo of her and Severus by the lake, arms around each other, both smiling carefree. Whether it was out of anger or sadness, her hand tightly clenched almost involuntarily. It was a bad mistake though, for it was the hand that held the shards of glass. Lily gasped, feeling the glass pierce her skin. She immediately opened her hand to find it was bleeding.
Wincing in pain, she threw the broken shards into the trash can, along with the picture frame. Carefully she picked the pieces of glass that were stuck in her skin and discarded them as well. Her hand was a bloody mess but she was so tired and careless that she sat on her bed gazing down at the picture, ignoring the pain and blood. All she could think about was Severus.
Her whole day had been plagued with thoughts and memories of him. She couldn't remember spending Christmas without him; whether they were home or at Hogwarts, they had always been together. Everything reminded her of Severus, the Christmas tree they used to decorate, the green and red decorations, and even the snow falling outside, all brought back unwelcome memories. There was nothing she could do to prevent them.
When she was younger she believed in Christmas miracles. She was not sure whether they existed or not anymore, but one thing was certain, if they did then she wanted one. She did not receive what she wanted as a Christmas present so a miracle would be her last hope. All she wanted was Severus. It didn't matter if their friendship would be miraculously mended or his views of the Darks Arts changed- she just wanted him back.
"Where are you Severus?" she thought, tears threatening to run down her face.
As if on cue, a loud thumping noise was heard on her bedroom window. She jumped off her bed with surprise. There he was. Lily thought it was just the wine she snuck earlier or her tired mind trying to make another hallucination-but she could not ignore it. Hesitantly, she opened her bedroom window to find Severus before her as real as possible.
"Severus?-What are you doing here?" she asked
It was too much to process. One minute she was longing to have him- and there he was. It couldn't be true.
"Lily, I need to talk to you." He said
She almost readily opened the window further and grabbed his hands to pull him inside- but she remembered the situation they were in. It made her heart ache with guilt and resentment. It was time to put on her bitter act again.
"We haven't spoken in a year. What do you possibly need to say now?"
It hurt her to be so mean to him, but she had to be that way.
"I'll tell you. I'll tell you everything …just please, Lily. Let me in."
Heavy winds and snow blew ferociously outside. One could say it was nearly a blizzard; she didn't have the heart to turn him away in that weather, no matter how mean she could act. Besides, she knew if she didn't let him in, he would freeze to death, refusing to leave her window due to his stubbornness. Slowly, she offered him her hands and helped pull him inside.
It seemed almost irrelevant to him that he was nearly frozen, for right away, he noticed the blood on his hands, her blood, and saw her injured hand.
He stated, "Lily, you're bleeding."
"I realize that. I'm fine." She said feeling a bit embarrassed that she got blood on his hand too.
As though he acted on impulse, he took her hand into his, examining her wounds. Her face began to flush significantly upon feeling his soft touch.
"Severus! I said I'm fine," she said forcefully taking back her hand.
She could see the pain in his eyes by being hurt from her actions, but she did not want to apologize.
"Sorry," he mumbled "I wanted to see if you truly were fine. - I just hope you have sense enough to wash and disinfect it."
Of course he would say that. He was always the know-it-all. It annoyed her at times but she couldn't help but smile inside, knowing he still cared for her wellbeing.
"Why are you here, Severus? I thought you decided to stay at Hogwarts." She asked, changing the subject.
"Lily, the only reason why I stayed at Hogwarts during the holidays was because you usually stayed with me. Without you, there is no reason to stay."
His words shook her up; rousing the emotion inside her she desperately tried to hide. She knew she could not get emotional around him though so she tried to think of something logical to say.
"What about the reason of staying because it would be better than being with your parents?"
"That was a valid reason as well, but not as significant."
"So, you're saying you don't want to stay because you'd rather endure your parents than be away from me?"
"Yes."
Yes. He would rather be tormented, abused and neglected than be without her. She remembered seeing a glimpse of him on the platform 9 and ¾'s but she did not want to believe it at the time. Now she knew it was true and the reason was because of her. He couldn't be far away from her…he felt the same way as she did. Lily could feel the sting of tears in her eyes, but she pushed them away.
"I thought I was no more than a mudblood to you, Snape." she said, her voice shaking.
He grabbed her by her shoulders and forced her to look into his eyes. They were pierced her with depth and what looked to be sincerity.
"Lily, listen to me. I have come to say I'm sorry. I know I have apologized many times to you, and every time you have rejected me. You probably think I'm nothing better than a Death Eater. I don't care if you hate me. Please just know that…"
Severus paused, not able to finish his statement.
Lily wondered, "Is he really going to say it?"
She almost knew what he was going to say and if he did, that was all it would take to break her down. Would he have the courage to tell her how he truly felt?
"…I don't hate you."
"Of course not," she thought "He can't say it."
Gritting her teeth, she felt the bitterness return.
"Severus, I think you've made that clear, but the friendship we had is over. Forever."
It was better off that way, wasn't it?
"No, it's not."
"Yes, it is," she said removing his hands from her. "Move on with your life!"
Merlin knew she had tried. Lily thought by dating James, she could replace all of the feelings she still felt for Severus and that he would vanish from her life forever. She was wrong.
"You are my life!"
Again, she was stung by his words and taken aback but she would not be defeated.
"No, I'm not. If I was you never would have called me that or read into the Dark Arts. Please just leave me be!"
"Damn it, Lily! I can't!" he yelled
"Why?" she screamed back.
"Because I love you!"
There it was. It was almost as if she heard wrong.
"What?" she asked, in disbelief.
"Lily Evans, I've loved you ever since we were children. I always have. I never told you until now because I was too afraid. I was a coward. But you have to know that. Yes, you're with James and it kills me not only because I hate him but because I love you more than he does and ever will."
"Severus!" she cried out, wishing to protest his last sentence, but suddenly her lips were captured by his.
She had been kissed many times before by others but nothing could compare to the way his lips moved against her. It was though all of his feelings and emotion was poured out into that single kiss. It was a shame that she was too frozen with shock to kiss him back. He knew this and broke away to let her take it all in.
He whispered, "I'd die for you, Lily. I love you."
Lily had only two options. One was to step away from him and demand why he was kissing her while he knew very well she had a boyfriend. She would deny his love and send him back out into the cold. The second was to give up her act and receive him once again for everything that it was worth. Thankfully, she chose the latter.
Their lips met again and this time Lily kissed back with more anticipation and fervent than ever before. Nothing mattered anymore; not what he had called her, their broken friendship, blood trickling down her hand, James, or anything. He was all she cared about and she was not about to let him go again. Only when they needed air, did they break away.
"I love you too, Sev."
Lily was just about to begin kissing him again when Severus stated "Lily, before we do that, can we please tend to your hand?"
She knew he would bring that up again, typical Severus. It didn't bother her though. He was back. Christmas miracles do come true. Yes, things would never quite be the same, Lily would have to have a talk with James, and explain to her parents why they would not be meeting him as planned, but as long as she had Severus, things were bound to work out.
"Alright," she said "I'll be right back."
Just as she was almost out the door, Severus called to her, "Lily?"
"Yes?" she asked turning around
"Happy Christmas."
She smiled.
"Happy Christmas…love."
