I've been working on The Weight of Snow, but then this idea came into my mind and did not leave. This will not be a long story - a three to five shot at most. I hope you enjoy it.
Jen
The Last Best Dream
Chapter One
Elsa noticed this particular ginger immediately. There was a tentative ferocity in the way she crossed the foyer of the hotel. She was a corsair moving through ocean fog, determined to slip through all obstacles or face wreckage on the rocks. A child dropped a toy near her feet, and she nearly stumbled upon it, her cheeks suddenly flaming as bright red as her hair. The child jabbered at her in Arabic; a language Elsa understood, though it appeared the redhead did not. The girl merely flashed an apologetic smile and continued her way to the desk where Elsa was now waiting for her.
She had only a small suitcase with her; a fact Elsa noticed right away. Most people arrived with whole cartloads of stuff they deemed important for their stay. She was immediately impressed and amused by the smart little suitcase this girl dragged behind her; it was bright blue, and had pictures of dried herring on it.
Seriously. Dried herring. How does that even happen?
Elsa waited for the girl to speak so she would know what language to use. The girl – no, she was definitely a woman, probably in her mid-twenties - came right up to Elsa's counter, plopped her elbows on it and said, "Checking in, please."
English, though there was a trace of an accent. "Welcome to our hotel," Elsa warmly replied in her own slightly accented English. "What's the name of the reservation?"
For a second the girl - yes, she was still girl-like, and tremendously endearing at that - looked entirely nonplussed, as if Elsa had asked her to recite pi to a thousand places or recite a Shakespearean sonnet. "Uh, I'm not actually sure if I have a reservation," the girl replied. "I mean, I think this is a last-minute trip. Oh, god, I hope you have a free room. It took me forever to get here."
"That depends on how long you would like to stay," Elsa replied.
"A few weeks?" the girl replied.
"Let me check," Elsa said. She turned her attention to her computer, though she was always aware of the ginger from her peripheral vision, trying to decode her. Why was she here, and alone? What had happened to her? Why did she not care how long she stayed?
Why did she have such a small bag? And why were there pictures of dried herring on it?
Then Elsa forced her attention back to her computer, though she already knew what the answer would be. She made some show of tapping the keys, and then turned to face the young woman again. "Yes, we have some suites available. Depending on your budget, we have both street-side and mountain-side views. We also have a lovely penthouse suite available on the top floor of the hotel."
"Ooh, that sounds lovely," the young woman replied. "How much is that one?"
"Roughly $1200 a night," Elsa replied, with just a tinge of both apology and scepticism in her voice. Could this young woman afford a few weeks of such outrageous prices?
It's not like this was your typical hotel. Did she have any idea of what she was getting into by staying here?
"Yes, it's perfect," the girl replied. "I'll take it." She started to rummage in her handbag, and to Elsa's surprise she actually began to take out some items and place them on the reception counter as she hunted for her wallet.
There was a small plastic packet of pictures, a pack of half-eaten spearmint gum, a set of keys, a couple of chocolates wrapped in foil, a small notebook and pen, some toothpicks wrapped in paper sleeves, and a tube of lip gloss, the same colour she was currently wearing. Elsa even saw the girl almost bring out a tampon before another bright red flush covered her cheeks and the potentially embarrassing item was shoved back into the purse.
Then there was a short crow of triumph, and the girl pulled out a small magnetic wallet, the RFID kind that keeps thieves from stealing information.
Elsa's heart immediately went out to the girl, though she had been trained to keep her distance from the hotel guests, and not to get involved in their stays.
There was far worse than thieves at this particular hotel.
The girl pulled out a credit card and proudly shoved it in Elsa's direction. Elsa immediately glanced at the name on the card and said, "We're so pleased you will be joining us, Ms. Bjornsen."
"Please. I don't do the Miz thing all that well, being but twenty six years old. I'm Anna," the girl replied, and she shoved her hand in Elsa's direction before another wave of embarrassment passed over her cheeks.
Elsa found herself wanting to spare this guest her social faux-pas-ness, so she readily took that hand and shook it, unable to keep a wide smile from gracing her face.
"Pleased to meet you, Anna. I'm Elsa."
"Wow, that's a beautiful name," Anna said as she released Elsa's hand, and her voice was filled with sincerity. "It really suits you, because you're like, gorgeous. Wait, what? Uh, don't mind me. Mouth opens. Words come out. Sometimes bad words."
Elsa's heart melted, even as her manager's voice came to her in the recesses of her mind, a remnant from her last performance review, Don't get attached to the guests, Elsa. They always move on, and we remain.
She couldn't keep a very light flush from entering her own cheeks, and she recovered by chuckling politely and reverting to procedure. "You're sweet, Anna. I'll also need an identification card. A driver's license is okay, but a passport is preferred."
Out came a tiny screwdriver (bright orange), a pack of tissues, a highlighter, and then the girl's passport.
Oh, yeah, Elsa was good.
Canada.
"So you're from Canada?" she asked as she took the passport to make a copy on her photocopier. "What part?"
"The west side. Alberta. A city called Calgary."
Elsa lifted her head. "Wait, that's by the mountains, yes?"
Anna looked genuinely pleased. "Yes, how did you know? Have you been there?"
"Sadly, no," Elsa replied as she focused on making the photocopy. "I'm a bit of a nerd about reading maps, though."
It was as she came back to the desk that she noticed the almost predatory glint in Anna's eyes. "Map nerd, huh?" Anna asked, in a tone that was easily seen as challenging. "Name the capital city that the Vltava River runs through."
"Duh. Prague." Elsa couldn't help the grin that now covered her face. "Do not toy with me, young padawan. You cannot win."
"Ooh," Anna crowed, "you're also a Star Wars fan? Where have you been all my life?"
There was a strange silence as Anna's words flared into brief and tumultuous existence; a sentence intense yet doomed.
Elsa knew the truth, but she was not allowed to speak of it.
Besides, the sentence had also flared with not-too-subtle flirtation, igniting Elsa's rather poor excuse of a gaydar.
So she laughed instead, and released them both back into social norms, leaving this second set of awkward silent moments behind them.
Elsa finished tapping the keyboard, swiped Anna's credit card, and then she prepared the key card, all the while noticing that Anna was swiping the items back into her voluminous purse all willy-nilly. The tips of her ears were red. It was so fucking cute.
Again, she couldn't help but smile.
"Okay, Anna, I've got you all settled. You'll be in room 1212. Just take the second bank of elevators there to the left up to the twelfth floor. We have free wifi for our guests, I've written the password here on the card. Now, are you aware of all the amenities of our hotel?"
"Please, by all means enlighten me," Anna replied, propping her chin on her hand and gazing intently into Elsa's eyes.
Now Elsa had to force down the blush on her cheeks.
"As you've probably noticed, we're the largest hotel in the area. We have a small pool, fitness center, and spa on the basement floor overlooking the mountain valley. There are five different restaurants on the premises, ranging from a bistro and café to fine dining."
"Is there Mexican food?"
Elsa chuckled. "The best Mexican in two hundred kilometres."
"How about sushi?"
"Sushi and oyster bar."
"Argentinian steak house."
Elsa laughed out loud. "Sorry, Anna, but we are fresh out of Argentinian steak. And their houses."
Anna laughed with her and waved her to continue.
"We also have a small movie theatre and concert hall. But, my favourite by far is our roof-top garden and observatory. Don't miss it, especially at night time. If it's a clear night, you can see the entire Milky Way."
"Are you a star nerd as well as a map nerd, Elsa?" Anna asked, again with that mischievous gleam in her eyes.
"If you call making up names for your own constellations a form of star nerdship, then I am." Elsa could see Anna opening her mouth to make another comment, but she could also see the queue that was forming behind her with customers that began to whisper to each other and then look at their watches.
Sigh.
So Elsa barrelled right on, saying, "That's pretty much everything about our hotel. Please come see me or call down to reception if you require anything at all to improve your stay."
Though the young woman must have been familiar with hotel protocol, she still seemed slightly taken aback at the swiftness with which their conversation was ending. She took the hotel key-card in her hand and repeated, "1212."
"Yes."
"Those elevators over there."
"The second bank, yes. The first bank goes up ten floors. The second bank is our express elevator for our most esteemed guests, and it goes directly up to the eleventh or twelfth floors."
"Woo, I'm an esteemed guest," Anna replied. "I'll see you around, I guess?"
Elsa smiled. "I guarantee it, Anna. Enjoy your stay."
Anna began to walk away, lugging that dried-herring suitcase behind her. A man with his wife had been waiting almost but not quite patiently behind Anna, and they moved forward as Anna moved on.
Then Anna suddenly stopped, turned around, and marched right back to Elsa's desk. "I keep telling myself to stop being so god-damn impulsive, but I never listen, do I, so I'm going to go ahead and ask if you want to hang out with me sometime."
Elsa stared at her, her eyes feasting on Anna's still incredibly endearing features while her ears vaguely understood that Anna was somehow kinda asking her out.
In front of other guests.
She knew the protocol by heart. How long had she been working here, anyway?
Too long. But it wasn't like she could really leave. Where else would she possibly go?
So she was incredibly surprised when she replied, "I think I would like that, Anna. I'm done my shift at 8 o'clock tonight. If you're bored, we can meet up then."
Anna's face had been half-downcast and half-hopeful; Elsa couldn't help but think of her as a large puppy. And she loved puppies.
Damn it.
"That's awesome, Elsa," Anna replied. "I shall challenge you to a battle of wits, my awesome atlas-ness against yours. Prepare to defend yourself, supposed map guru!"
A huge grin broke out on Elsa's face, and she couldn't help but laugh again.
Anna seemed to take that as confirmation enough, and she once again turned away with her small and fishy suitcase.
The man in front of her desk snarked, "Are you ready now, miss?"
In Romanian.
"Da," she replied, turning back to her job.
She couldn't help but cast a glance in Anna's direction as the man shoved his credit card at her and began speaking in rapid-fire Romanian. The girl had stopped to stare at the ceiling. Granted, it was a beautiful ceiling, painted with a fresco of angels and clouds, with sculpted and gold embossed cherubs in the corners. Anna was looking at that ceiling as if she had never seen anything like it before, as if it struck some heart-chord deep inside.
She stood there and let the crowds move around her, standing still like a ship at anchor. It was incredible.
Elsa did not fall in love. She wasn't allowed. But that was the moment she definitely fell in like with Anna.
"Doamna?" the man said, getting her attention once more. Elsa reluctantly turned away from the captivating image of Anna's stillness, vowing to reflect on it later during her break.
…
The hotel was always busy, so the remainder of Elsa's shift passed by quickly. She had to vow to study her Japanese more after she had an entire bus load of Japanese visitors trying to check in at once.
As eight o'clock drew closer, Elsa wondered more and more about what Anna had been doing with her first few hours at the hotel. The girl had stared at the ceiling for a good ten minutes – long enough for Elsa to check in the Romanian couple and some teenagers from Ireland. She caught Anna's quick glance in her direction when the redhead finally lugged her herring case away, but she hadn't seen Anna since. She had to content herself with imagining what Anna thought of her gorgeous pent-house suite, with its three rooms, enormous bathing chamber, wine cabinet, walk in closet, flower arrangements and fruit basket. Though she barely knew the girl, she found it quite easy to imagine her delight and amazement at the beauty of the room.
Would it be too beautiful to leave? Was she laying down on her bed, her legs up and waving in the air as she snuggled into her Egyptian cotton sheets, staring up into the slightly less opulent ceilings? Had she discovered the roof-top garden with the little coffee house, sipping a cup of cappuccino while looking at the mountains? Was she so absorbed by her surroundings that she would forget all about her pseudo-date with a practically unknown hotel clerk?
Part of Elsa hoped Anna wouldn't show up. Especially if her manager was nearby. Elsa didn't particularly want a reprimand. The rules were in place to protect the hotel guests, and Elsa knew this, but as the afternoon wound on to a close, all Elsa wanted was to connect with someone new. And not just the polite connections that happen between service staff and customers.
Elsa wanted something deeper.
So the next time Kai's voice resounded in her head, telling her not to do this, not to get close to the guests, she ignored it.
Like most everyone else who worked at the hotel, Elsa knew how short life was. How precious.
How likely to end suddenly and without notice.
Take the opportunities when they come. Even if it's against the rules.
Besides, she might just win at the upcoming atlas competition.
Eight o'clock came, and Elsa signed out of her computer and gave a short report to Merida, who was taking over for her at the front desk. Three minutes passed, and then five. Just when Elsa was about to leave for the staff quarters, her heart surprisingly low and devastated in her chest, she saw Anna walking swiftly through the lobby.
Her face was glowing with happiness, her teal eyes a-sparkle. Elsa smiled to see her, and her heart suddenly lifted straight up into her throat. She motioned Anna to the end of the counter, as if it did any good, because Merida was staring at them with barely restrained curiosity. Thank God it was Merida, and not Hans, because that jerk would be sure to report her. Merida, on the other hand, was as gingery and impulsive as Anna, and would keep Elsa's secret.
"Hey Elsa," Anna said as she approached the end of the counter. "How was your day? My god, this hotel is amazing. Did you know they serve the best cappuccino in the world on that roof-top garden? If the guacamole is any good here, I might never leave. Are you ready to get creamed in a map nerd competition of epic proportions? Wow, will I ever shut up. How about you answer the first question. How was your day?"
Elsa laughed out loud, covering her mouth with her hand as she glanced at Merida. Who was busy checking in a single young man, thank goodness, and couldn't spare a glance for Elsa's rather out of character amusement.
"It went by quickly, which was convenient," Elsa replied. "It helped to have something to look forward to."
"I was wondering if you really wanted to do something with me, or if my total awkwardness just somehow coerced you into it. Because I can walk away, you know. I'll proclaim myself the victor of our imaginary competition, but I can go if you feel coerced."
Elsa touched Anna on the wrist, lightly yet very deliberately. She had a hypothesis to test concerning Anna and her very possible gayness. "I'm not coerced," she replied. "And you're not getting off that easily. Where would you like to go?"
"Nuh uh. You're the one who works here. You probably know all the little nooks and crannies and cool areas that we mere tourists could never hope to encounter. So you show me. Please."
And with that, Elsa knew the perfect place.
Tugging on Anna's wrist one more time (and yes, there was some colour rising in Anna's neck, what a beautiful reaction to the flirting that Elsa couldn't believe she was doing), Elsa began to lead them out of the hotel and into the gardens beyond.
Because down this path here, and around this hedge, there it was. A small gazebo, painted white and studded with creamy white fairy lights. The evening could only be described as evanescent, with the sun beginning to set behind the tips of the mountains. "How does this look?" Elsa asked. "Unless you are determined to get guacamole."
"Guacamole, shwacamole. This is incredible, Elsa. My god, what is with this place? Did heaven suddenly come down to earth or something?"
Elsa's heart twisted in sudden viciousness, but she hid it well, saying, "It never ceases to amaze me what humans can accomplish. Look at this garden, and this hotel. Some human dreamed this up, and other humans built it, and still more humans can come here, even decades and centuries later, and appreciate it. And it all began because one human dared to dream." She looked at Anna and continued, "Imagine what we could create if everyone these days decided to live their lives and build this kind of beauty instead of wasting their talent in worry, fear, and inaction. Dreams are precious things, Anna. They just want to live. Imagine if this dream died inside of someone."
Anna was gaping at her. Finally she said, "Wow. That was…. I've never really thought of it that way before." She took another look at the garden, and the soft evening light that sifted over her was like a halo over her whole body, and Elsa knew that Anna's visit at the hotel could never be long enough. She barely knew the woman, and she already missed her.
"Shall we sit?" Elsa asked when Anna finally turned to regard her once more, motioning inside the gazebo. Anna stepped inside and sat down, and Elsa sat next to her, not quite touching.
"I think a battle of map wits is almost out of the question now," Anna said. "I mean, this is just so beautiful, and it seems almost inappropriate to play a game, even one so innocent and hopefully not rowdy." She smiled at Elsa. "I get it, you cute conniver. You lure me out here and then make it impossible to play, therefore you won't have to lose to me."
Elsa chuckled. "It's not like I'm going anywhere, Anna. If we don't play today, I'm sure we can play another time. Though I must admit, I've never heard cute applied to conniver before."
"I love me some alliteration. But wait, you just said you don't go anywhere. That reminds me, this place is rather remote. I mean, seriously, how far away is civilization? Where do you live? If I can get away with asking something so personal."
"Asking me whether I sleep naked or wear pyjamas is personal, Anna. This, not so much. I live here at the hotel, in the staff quarters. It's that wing, over there," and she turned away from Anna, pointing at the eastern wing of the hotel. She made sure to tug down the long sleeve of her shirt as she brought her hand back down.
"Okay, I'm going to try not to comment on the sleeping naked issue, and express my surprise that you actually live here? What about your family? Your friends?"
Though Elsa knew that this might come up, she couldn't quite steel her features against the sharp grief that fisted her heart. Her left arm and leg flamed in remembered heat. "My family is dead, Anna. And friends – well, I have some friends among the staff here at the hotel. It's enough."
Sympathy and concern overcame Anna's honest features, and she opened her mouth in shock. "My god, Elsa. I'm so sorry. I can't imagine it. Do you… do you want to talk about it?"
Elsa opened her mouth to say no, just as she had done a million times before, but once again she surprised herself. "I miss them," she said, rather abrupt in her disbelief that she was speaking at all. "It's been eight years, but I can still see them so perfectly in my head."
Anna had turned to face her, and her hand twitched in her lap as if she wanted to comfort Elsa but didn't know if she should.
And Anna stayed quiet.
And because Elsa opened her mouth to begin with, the words kept coming, for her family had been the last best dream of her life, and they became a dream interrupted, never to face the beauty and creation of a future existence. They had all moved on, and she remained behind, with scars and a story that she rarely revealed in public, and certainly never with a stranger.
"We were going to dinner together after my university graduation," Elsa said, looking at her hands. "Mom and dad in the front seat, my brother and I in the middle, and my sister and her husband and their baby in the back. We all crammed together like clowns in the van because the weather was bad and no one else wanted to drive on the roads."
She closed her eyes. This was such a bad idea. But she couldn't stop now.
Elsa could see everything as it had occurred back then, and her mouth formed and said the words as the memory flew through her mind.
The freeway in town was clogged with cars dealing with the ice and snow. Finally traffic began moving again. Her dad made to pass a semi-trailer on their right. Then a truck ahead of both of them skidded and turned sideways on the freeway.
The sound of the semi-trailer's tires screeching against black ice, a sound both stuttering and ominous.
The van was suddenly upside down. Then right side up. And upside down again.
Then crushing weight, and then flames.
Elsa opened her eyes to the velvet evening light, so soft upon her as she relived the memories of the worst night of her life. Before she could stop herself, as if Anna was some key to a lock she had always kept shut, she even lifted the sleeve of her long-sleeved shirt and showed Anna her left arm.
The grafted skin gleamed in places, was ropy and thick in others. Pale skin was mottled with red.
"They all died. Even sweet little Will, the baby. And I lived, though I would never be the same."
Sanity seemed to come back to her, and Elsa gently pulled the sleeve down once more. She finally found the courage to look at Anna's stricken face, and she smiled for the tears that were shining in Anna's eyes. She turned a little to face Anna better and smiled through the pain in her own heart. "It's all right, Anna. It was a long time ago. Sorry for going off about it."
"No, no, I asked," Anna replied. "I can't imagine how hard that must have been."
"Everyone goes through it sometime or another," Elsa said, her voice as gentle as she could manage. Then she lightly chuckled. "I actually can't believe I really told you all this. I don't really talk about it much."
"Then I'm honoured that you shared it with me," Anna said. "I think I'm still a bit flabbergasted that we are sitting here together at all. I mean, I'm pretty impulsive, but even I was surprised that I came back to talk to you earlier."
"I wish I could be more like that," Elsa replied. "We actually have a whole list of rules here at the hotel governing our interactions with guests, many of which I'm breaking by being here with you right now."
"And how do you feel about breaking those rules?"
"Pretty good, actually."
"I'm glad," Anna smiled. "More than glad, really. I couldn't imagine being here for so long all by myself."
Elsa suppressed her own curiosity about Anna's appearance at her hotel. That was one rule she could not break. She daren't ask Anna about why or how she came here, so she asked something else a bit more safe instead. "So tell me a bit about you, Anna. Aside from the map knowledge and love of Star Wars, I don't know anything about you."
"Let's see," Anna drawled as she leaned back against the gazebo railing. "Against my parents wishes, I majored in art history in university. Not that they were all like, 'You must be a doctor or a lawyer or find some soul-sucking corporate job,' but they did warn me that to get even a semi-decent job in the art world I would need at least a Masters, most likely a PhD, and would end up nearly a hundred thousand dollars in student loan debt. Which they swore they would not pay for, even though they could easily afford it. Had to teach me a lesson somehow, they said."
"But you did it anyway, didn't you?"
"You betcha! I focused on the medieval era. I just finished my Masters a month ago. They're a bunch of liars, anyway. They were so pleased they gave me a credit card and told me to go to Europe for a few months and see some of the places I've been studying for so long."
Elsa smiled over the pain in her heart at Anna's story.
Anna continued, "And this place. This makes it all worthwhile. I've been so responsible my entire trip, so hopefully they'll forgive me my over extravagance here at this hotel. I'll offer to pay for this part myself. It'll take me a dozen years, but I won't regret it."
"It is a remarkable place, isn't it?" Elsa agreed, carefully skirting the subject of Anna's family and her trip to Europe.
The sun was beginning its final graceful descent over the mountains, and the clouds were purple and rose and gauzy, all tangled up in the peaks of the mountains. It was the most perfect night Elsa had experienced in a very long time.
Full twilight came, and still she talked with Anna, learning about her love of ducklings and farm animals in general, sharing her own love of languages and the fact that she could speak seven of them (a fact which impressed Anna to no end, and she would occasionally ask how to say this or that in Romanian, or Arabic, or French).
Only as her stomach rumbled and sleep overcame her jaw in great yawns did Elsa reluctantly tell Anna that she had to get back to the hotel. She was switching shifts tomorrow, and started at the ungodly hour of 6 am.
"No, really?" Anna asked. "God, Elsa, you should have told me. It's already past midnight."
"I had such a nice time, Anna. Thank you for being so impulsive and asking me to hang out with you tonight. It was well worth the short rations of sleep I'll get tonight."
"I'll walk you back," Anna said, getting up from the bench and stretching. As she stretched her shirt lifted up slightly, showing off her slim waist and even the tell-tale sign of a belly button ring. Elsa smirked to see it. "Yeah, yeah," Anna said, looking at Elsa with mirth in her eyes. "How daring. An art historian with a belly button ring."
"Do you have any tattoos?" Elsa asked.
"Hmm, I'm not sure if I should just give that kind of information away. No more freebies for you, Elsa. But perhaps, if I can take you out to dinner tomorrow, we can discuss it. That is, would you like to have dinner with me? I'm sure it will break more rules, but you can break them now, can't you?" Her voice turned tentative and shy at the end.
But still puppy-like hopeful.
Elsa loved puppies.
Elsa had only to look at the gazebo and the garden around her. So many dreams brought to glorious life. She thought of her family, and their many dreams interrupted.
Would she dare to make a dream out of Anna, even though it would be brief?
Could she handle the inevitable heartbreak that would result?
Her heart was an ocean, existing apart from tempest and calm.
She looked into Anna's beautiful and freckled face and replied, "I would like that very much."
