A/N: I have cleaned up this first one-shot of mine. I had gotten the idea for this when I was reading 14hp1's Fun Lists. I can't find the list anymore, but I'll link back to it on my profile if I find it! Also, this has been translated into Chinese by windylucy. I've linked back to it on my profile. Anyways, I hadn't ever done a one-shot before, but it was too fun to resist! Here I go!-
One Epic Battle of Epic Proportions
I can see the life in his eyes.
The perfect bait for the Potter boy- stealing his best friend's brother.
It will be only minutes until Potter comes, nobly marching into my hands with his pathetic attempt at an army.
And, oh, taunting this capture will be so amusing.
Voldemort was standing in the middle of a circle of Death Eaters, facing a scraggly red-headed boy: Fred Weasley. The boy had been bound and pushed to his knees, so he had no choice but to face this Dark Lord. A few beads of sweat rolled down Fred's face, which was the only part of him still free.
"Do you feel brave now, boy? You were caught and will be used to bait your perfect Golden Boy. People will put your name on his death. You'll go down in history as the key contributor of the start of my reign over the world. So, do you feel brave?" Voldemort taunted.
Fred glared at him, the fear gone from his face. He did not answer.
"Oh, you do? That won't last for too long. Soon Potter will arrive and hand himself over to me in exchange for your life. Of course, we'll keep you anyways." Voldemort swooped toward Fred, and and leaned in to his ear.
"Weasley, I'm going to end you," Voldemort taunted, whispering it in his ear.
This boy truly has no worth.
And people thought he had spirit.
He can't even respond with a good come-back. Pity.
Suddenly Fred's mouth transformed into a smirk, his eyes sparkling with mischief. And, for the first time, Fred's mouth opened.
"I don't know about you death eaters, but I'm sensing some self-confidence problems in your master here. You're in luck though, Voldemort. I hear they have an excellent psychiatric ward at St. Mungo's. And while you're there, maybe you could have them do something about your nose."
The whole Death Eater circle and Voldemort froze.
"And anyways, what did I ever do to yo- oh, never mind." Clearly, Fred was out of his mind; who taunts a powerful Dark Lord while powerless yourself? Everyone except Fred was still.
"Oh, I get it! Am I on Punk'd? Where's the camera guy, huh? Where?" Fred playfully looked around then sighed and pouted, "Hmm, I guess I was wrong."
One Death Eater ducked his head in an attempt to stifle his laughter. Voldemort snapped his head in the Death Eater's direction, and the Death Eater stopped giggling abruptly. Voldemort turned to face Fred again. His normally pale snakelike face was almost turning pink with rage.
"Oooooh! An impersonation of Harry's uncle!" Fred said excitedly, his face lighting up with glee. Suddenly his face turned apologetic, "I'm sorry Mr. V, but your face is still much paler than his uncle, and you're missing the twitching nerve. Also, your nose is too flat. You really should take my advice and get it fixed at St. Mungo's."
Voldemort was furious now. His face was no longer white with a slight trace of pink; it actually had a few tints of red!
"You are insane! Don't you get it? I'm going to END YOU!" Voldemort screeched.
Fred only responded by looking more excited. "Ooh Lucy!" Fred said, beckoning with his eyes to Lucius Malfoy, "He sounds like a girl. Come closer and listen!"
At this time, many Death Eaters had placed their palms over their mouths, or were repetitively coughing and sneezing. Voldemort himself was twitching all over. He whipped his wand out and held it up to Fred's nose, then said dangerously, "One more word and you will never see the light of day again."
Fred looked cross eyed at the wand tip, making an obvious motion of tipping his head in fake concentration while he did.
A few audible laughs rang throughout the circle of Death Eaters.
Fred licked his lips hungrily, bit Voldemort's wand tip, and whipped his head so the wand was thrown several feet away. All the Death Eaters were once again silent, curious as to what their master would do.
Voldemort straightened up, attempting to gather his dignity, then walked over to where his wand lay. He stooped down to pick it up.
RIIIIIIP!
Voldemort's robes ripped right at his gluteus maximus. All the Death Eaters finally burst out in full, gut-wrenching laughs. They could no longer stifle it. A few even dropped to the ground while holding their stomachs from laughing so hard.
Suddenly, before a shocked Voldemort could take action, or even finish picking up his wand, spells came out of everywhere. In a matter of seconds, all the Death Eaters were stunned. Aurors came out of the trees, their wands poised on Voldemort. A few of them caught sight of Voldemort's unsightly rip and cracked up too. Voldemort, frozen in surprise, had yet to actually pick up his wand to defend himself.
A sickly green curse came from behind another tree and hit Voldemort. That was the end of the Dark Lord.
The caster of the curse stepped forward and unbound Fred; it was Harry.
"Thanks for the help out there, Fred. We couldn't have done it without you," Harry said gratefully, while giving Fred a pat on the back
And that was how Fred Weasley helped in the final battle.
