Dearest gentle Reader,

Consider, for a moment, that one could grow apethetic to the idyllic lands of Equestria. This private pariah, would-be-reprobate, a spectral maned mare of local renown few could achieve with such little effort. Through which methods might she throw off the yoke of tedium, and how might it resonate through the bonds of amity she's worked so little to achieve? Let's find out.

Rainbow Hash

Prelude

The benevolence of the noon-day sun could be felt receding before the mountaintops; gentle rustling was audible as abandoned foliage was caressed by a docile, yet nippy wind. The gust squealed against the friction of nonbeing, singing its melodious lament only to be interrupted by the final calls of songbirds, soaring across the rolling planes of the Western provinces. Stringy remains of clouds, once poofy relics of the midday, hang sadly in the orange sky—put to shame by one remaining ball of intact fluff. Not by luck, does it remain; but by design. From this cumulus towers a slightly darker shade of whiff, being regularly spouted by the mouth of a feathered equine. A blue feathered equine.

The cool breeze crashed against the spectral mane of the aptly named Rainbow Dash, but she didn't care. The sky was a much different color, today. Waves of ethereal essence collided with one another, forming a swirling mass of pure sensation. This magnificent maelstrom was accompanied by its aural equivalent, an assembled blend of noise fabricated by Rainbow's mind which could be described only as beautiful. These two striking marvels, brought together by the general warmness the pegasus felt after taking in this herbal invention, created an atmosphere of wholeness even the duality of Celestia's day and Luna's night couldn't.

But none of these concepts crossed Rainbow's mind. That was the part of the magic. The simplicity of inhale, exhale, and so forth. Exhale. That's two letters away from exile. This fact brought thoughts of fretfulness to Rainbow's mind, piercing the creamy surface of the unfolding psychedelia. But she was quick to banish them, focusing on the autumn nip. A deep, careless grin stretched across her face. Her saturated lips open, releasing a stream of smoke before she begins to speak, "I am so high."

But this tranquility was disturbed by the call of a certain orange filly, "Hey, Rainbow Dash!" Rainbow's reddened eyes shot open, "Fuck."

Not Scoots. She couldn't have picked a better time. It wasn't that Rainbow didn't like Scootaloo, but how would you feel if your self-proclaimed 'Number One Fan' couldn't even give you an hour and a half to unwind? "Rainbow Dash?" Maybe if she doesn't move, Scootaloo will just go away. 'Course, it's always the simplest plans thwarted first: In her jerking to avoid the filly's gaze, the sky-blue pegasus toked a good bit (holding her breath as not to be heard). Undesirably, the peculiar puff defied it's constraints, forcing it's way out of Rainbows irritated lungs- "Hukh-nhn! Kah-kahka-nhn! Kaw-hkh! Shi-it! Huhk-kmph!" God Damn it. "Rainbow Dash?!" The phlegmy cacophony of cough dwindled and was extinguished, Rainbow pounding her chest the entire time. "Yeah, kid, I'm f-Hukh! …Fine" Rainbow reclined with the reefer held next to her thigh, tactically out of Scoots' sight, and placed the other hoof under her head in a fashion one might construe as intentionally unassuming (if it weren't so authentic).

"What can I do you for, kiddo?" Rainbow lazily shot Scootaloo a look through a single open eye. Why was Rainbow Dash acting so strangely? "Um… Well Ms. Cheerilee wanted me to come out here and…" The cerulean steed didn't really seem to be paying attention to her admirer. "Uh…Talk at our school tom-…" Why is there smoke rising from her flank? "Tomorrow." Rainbow grew a hefty smirk as her open eye closed and head turned to the heavens, preceding the narrowing of Scootaloo's gaze. "Sure thing, Squirt." Her speech seemed awfully slow for such a quick mare. "I'll talk at your school any day." Seemed a little kindly, too; but maybe Scoots shouldn't be reading so far into it. Maybe Rainbow was finally warming up to her follower, maybe she's just tired; maybe she's just trying to get the filly out of her hair. "Ooo-kay, Rainbow Dash… Guess I'll see you tomorrow…" Scootaloo kicked 'cross the fields on her scooter, dissecting the conversation as she often did after encounters with her idol, but for a very different reason. I'm sure she'll be fine tomorrow. Rainbow places the sweet leaf back in the corner of her drying mouth, confident the orchid-maned filly is occupied. "Yeah… you too, Kiddo."