He hadn't wanted things to turn out this way. They shouldn't have. An expert at dodging, yet how ironic that he hadn't avoided getting into this mess. There were bitter moments, angry moments. Whole hours and days when he'd have to disappear: to lick his wounds like a dog or he would do something else he'd regret.
Like the right thing wrong thing and break his best friend's heart.
Riku Kaitani, college sophomore and Enma Flames' best safety (arguably best linebacker, too) and quarterback alternate, looked over to his side and clenched his hands discreetly under his thighs. On the couch next to him, Sena was curled around his pillow, brought out from his bedroom specifically to do so, eyes blinking sleepily at the TV screen. They had rented the newest Marvel release, but Riku had already seen it in the theatres months ago, so it couldn't keep his attention. Not well enough. Not when Sena was looking so obliviously ridiculous and… and simultaneously beautiful. Not when Monta wasn't around to break the mood that Sena didn't even notice.
The flashes on the screen lit up Sena's face, making his features stand out- distinct and ethereal at once. A dreamy grin spread over his face at some joke in the movie, too tired to laugh or smile properly. Then, Sena's head tipped to the side, the contrast of light and shadow throwing the lines of his throat in sharp relief.
Riku's hands clenched tighter as he dragged his gaze back to the screen. But the sight of Sena's profile and bright eyes were glued over Riku's vision, the heroes' plight… plights?… going unseen, unmissed.
He could see it playing out in his mind's eye. Leaning over to press a kiss to Sena's warm, smooth skin. Hearing him laugh in surprise, feeling it shiver beneath his lips even while Sena's pulse jumped. He'd slip his hand over Sena's shoulder to lay over the kiss, imagining it lingering like something tangible. So he could press his forehead to Sena's to laugh with him. Sena would complain they were missing the film, but Riku would only shrug, admit he was too busy looking at Sena anyway. When the inevitable blush stole over Sena's cheeks, Riku would smirk and follow the path of heated skin with his lips. Something he'd indolently fantasized a million times since… since high school. Since their reunion more than four years ago.
Sena would whisper Riku's name and Riku wondered what it'd sound like then. With them pressed chest to chest and Sena's mouth so close to his. Riku would have his arms around Sena's waist so he could jostle them around, Sena huffing his exasperated laugh, until they were tucked together like perfect puzzle pieces. Riku's back would be to the screen and Sena's hands spread over Riku's chest, heart pounding slow and steady. Content.
I can't see the screen this way, Rikku.
You don't need to.
He'd say it around a smug smirk, as Sena sputtered and ducked his head, tucking closer.
You say that stuff just to embarrass me
Of course I do. I'll be disappointed as fuck when you finally stop being affected.
I'll never stop being affected by you. The soft admission against Riku's heart, fingers twisting into Riku's shirt.
Fortunately, Sena wouldn't be looking to see the slight flush crawl up Riku's cheeks. Then, finally, finally, he would duck down low, one hand sliding into thick, brown hair at the nape of his neck to tip his face up into a kiss.
At last.At last.
Riku closed his eyes against the ache and breathed in a deep, shuddering breath back in the present, in the real world. The real world where Sena's pajamas consisted of baggy, nondescript sleep pants with the bare soles of his feet peeking out beneath the ragged hems, and a glaring beacon of reality covering his torso. A large white and blue jersey. The neckline was stretched out of shape and the white was a faded to almost grey from too many washes. But the giant blue '40′ was clear on the chest and sleeves. On the back, another blue '40′ under the kanji for Shin.
The jersey of Sena's long time boyfriend, even longer crush. Since they were sixteen, Sena had eyes for no one but Shin, Seijuuro. And damn did it hurt. Not only did Shin surpass him on the football field in speed and strength, not only was he taller and just as handsome (Riku knew the score, okay? He knew his own looks and value, thank you very much), but he was Sena's equal in a way Riku hadn't been since they were children and Sena needed Riku. He didn't miss the scared, bullied, little boy he'd once helped learn to run and… well, try to defend himself. This older, braver, stronger Sena was everything Riku knew he could be.
Everything Riku had ever loved about him made bright and shining for everyone to see.
But telling Sena the truth would dim that. Would hurt him and what they were now. It was worth it. Keeping it to himself. If only to keep seeing the man Sena grew into more every day. Riku could never chance leaving this orbit around Sena's presence.
Because Riku loved Sena. But Sena loved Shin.
And that was okay.
It is okay.
Sena caught Riku's gaze then. Another sleepy, slow smile curved up his lips, eyes dark and shaded and half-lidded, light gilding one cheek.
"You 'kay, Rikku-kun? You've been kinda quiet."
"Yeah, Sena, I'm okay."
...
A/N: Sorry for the bad posting before. APPARENTLY the copy-n-paste function does not work like I thought it did and I didn't bother to check before uploading!
