Title: Targets of the Dark Force

Author: Estel Baggins

Rating: M- pretty high, too, so don't say I didn't warn you!

Warning 1: SLASH! Obi-Wan/Qui-Gon, Yoda/Mace Windu and other various pairings… possibly a threesome. So if you don't like that sort of thing, don't read this!

Warning 2: nonspecific references to sexual abuse of a minor (Obi-Wan)

Warning 3: angst

Warning 4: I'm sure if this qualifies as AU, but it might, so...

Summary: As Anakin learns more about Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon, the more confused he becomes.

Secondary Summary: The tale of Obi-Wan's and Qui-Gon's love.

A/N: I've never written for Star Wars before, but I've written in two other fandoms, Lord of the Rings and Static Shock. Please give this first attempt at Star Wars fanfiction a shot and feel free to critique in any way that seems best to you. Flames will be used to build a pyre for Xanatos.

A/N 2: Thank you to everyone who offered their suggestions and told me things about the Star Wars universe that I never would have guessed.

Snapshots

Anakin leapt up the ramp onto the Nubian ship, forgetting his exhaustion as he thought of Qui-Gon fighting the demon behind him. Protecting Anakin. Protecting Padme and the others on the starship. Maybe dying to protect them.

He raced down the narrow hall and burst into the cockpit. "Qui-Gon's in trouble! He says to take off!"

A man maybe ten years older than Anakin started giving orders at once. And while he issued his commands, Anakin saw the first snapshot. It bloomed in his mind like a flower and erased the world around him. All he could hear was the rustling of cloth. And all he could see at first was an almost-blinding brightness.

Light flooded in through a high window, sliding across the floor and climbing onto the bed. A shadow crossed in front of the light.

"You've slept late, my young Padawan."

That was all. The image melted like an ice cube in Tatooine's heat. The young man who had been giving orders spun away from the console and sprinted from the cockpit. Anakin followed. Had they rescued Qui-Gon?

As one, the two charged down the hall and burst into the small room where Qui-Gon lay, gasping.

"Are you all right?" Anakin asked.

The young man dropped to one knee at Qui-Gon's side, his eyes intense. "What was it?"

"I don't know." Qui-Gon was gasping slightly.

"What are we going to do about it?" Anakin asked, moving a little closer to Qui-Gon. But if the Jedi Master answered, Anakin lost it in another snapshot.

It was sunlight coming through the high window. The morning was almost past.

"You've slept late, my young Padawan." The shadow reached out and touched his brow. "You're warm. How do you feel?"

Anakin blinked as the vision ran like wrought gold and found himself looking at the young man. That was Qui-Gon's voice, he thought, or at least I think it was. I wish I could be sure. This is probably important. Maybe since Qui-Gon can sense the Force in me maybe he'll be able to tell me what I'm seeing.

From his place still on the floor, Qui-Gon gestured. His lips smiled below troubled eyes. "Anakin, meet Obi-Wan Kenobi. Obi-Wan, this is Anakin Skywalker."

Anakin gathered his wits, aware that his mother would want him to be polite. "You're a Jedi, too?"

Obi-Wan nodded. His gaze was appraising, curious, a little suspicious. And he kept darting glances at the older Jedi.

Pushing past that forbidding visage, knowing that the only way to get what he wanted was to be forward, Anakin stuck out his hand. "Nice to meet you."

Obi-Wan shook hands with him. The younger Jedi unbent enough to offer a half smile.

Anakin glanced at Qui-Gon and saw that he was grinning. Even the look in his eyes had ease. I guess that I just got a warm welcome. Anakin stood and watched Obi-Wan help Qui-Gon to his feet. When the two touched, he saw the third snapshot. Wrestling down his fear- where were these visions coming from and what did they mean?- Anakin concentrated on it, determined to figure it out. It was like a troubling lack of power in a Podracer; something he must discover the source of and solve.

Anakin felt sure he was looking through someone's eyes. The sun shone around the dark figure above him like a halo. Anakin felt his own face smile and understood with that amazing intuition he had always possessed that he could feel what the man felt. He realized the man was going to close his eyes and fought against it. But he might as well wrestle with a sandstorm. Darkness surrounded him. But without sight, Anakin became aware of the wrist that had been laid on his forehead. It felt deliciously cool. His mouth opened and he/the person he was living inside said, "I'll be all right, Master. Maybe I just drank too much last night or-"

"Since when do you drink, Obi-Wan? If you were ber'Nac I might believe it."

It was becoming hard for Anakin to tell which were his own thoughts and which were the man's- Obi-Wan's; I'm inside Obi-Wan's mind- and which were his own. A shiver passed through him and he thought, ber'Nac… Yes, I know he drinks.

Qui-Gon was still speaking. "Now be still for a moment while…"

While you what? Anakin wanted to demand as the snapshot faded once more.

"Anakin?" Qui-Gon had laid a hand on the boy's shoulder. "What's wrong, young one?"

"I…" He swallowed. "It's nothing. I'm all right."

Qui-Gon frowned at him but let it go. He guided Anakin back towards the cockpit. Anakin glanced over his shoulder and saw the younger Jedi shaking his head. But that half smile was still in place.

A minute later, Anakin was listening to the pilot with half an ear. Mostly he was aware of Obi-Wan behind him, apparently reading something on the console in front of him. Anakin showed the pilot what he knew and what he could guess, and accepted the praise, but he felt that he was being judged by the younger Jedi even if the man seemed to have other things on his mind.

Qui-Gon had disappeared for a few moments, perhaps calming the jumpy duck-like creature. Now he entered the cockpit. Striding over to Obi-Wan, he laid his hand on the other man's shoulder as he, too, studied the console's readings.

Anakin furrowed his brow as the dream took over again.

The cool wrist was still on his forehead and the shadowy figure moved closer. He was almost visible. "Now be still for a moment while I…"

Panic bloomed in Obi-Wan's/Anakin's mind. "I can already feel that the Force is stirred around me, Master." A pause, then, "I guess I have some sort of infection." The Obi-Wan's hand lifted. It trembled, which made him feel ashamed, but he pushed past that feeling and touched the man's shoulder. "I'll just rest and-"

"I don't like this warmth. We should go to the Healers."

Panic changed to scrabbling, shaking terror and he rolled away. "No… Master, really, I'm fine. All I need is rest. May I join you in meditation instead of sparring? Perhaps the healing trance will cure me."

The hand on his shoulder was unfailingly gentle. "My young Padawan, you are in pain. Let me help you."

"Please let me meditate at your side, Master," Obi-Wan whispered, his lips barely moving. His whole body was stiff, but more with fear and shame than pain. Though the pain was there, yes, low and pulsing with his heartbeat. "Please. It is the only help I require." He had been able to ignore it until now, to channel his thoughts away from it, but the idea of sparring with Qui-Gon made him feeling slightly sick to his stomach.

"Obi-Wan…" Qui-Gon warned.

"Anakin, did you fall asleep?"

Blackness swallowed the dream. No, come back! Anakin screamed mentally at the vision. Come back! You can't just leave it like that and-

A familiar hand touched his shoulder. "Anakin, what is it?"

Blinking (I must resemble a night-bird who is caught in sudden, bright sun, Anakin thought) the boy straightened and turned to look up at the Jedi who had freed him. The same one who disrupted what I was seeing. But at least I know who's in it now.

Qui-Gon was smiling at him, encouraging him. If he was worried- and Anakin sensed that he was, and very much so- he kept it hidden. "Tell me what's wrong, young one." His kind eyes nearly drew the truth from Anakin.

No, I think I'll hold onto it a little longer. Maybe I'll ask himHe turned his eyes on Obi-Wan, who was still working at the console. "I'm all right," Anakin said, returning the smile. "I'm fine. Just daydreaming, I guess."

"The Force changed," said Obi-Wan, finally glancing around. He wasn't looking at Anakin, but it was still as if he was blaming the boy somehow.

He doesn't like me, Anakin thought. Why?

Qui-Gon nodded. "I felt it." He patted Anakin's shoulder and returned to Obi-Wan's side. In a voice that the boy could scarcely hear (he admitted he was focusing hard, straining to hear) the older Jedi asked, "Is there something you wish to discuss, Obi-Wan?"

"Yes, Master, but it can wait."

"No time like the present." Qui-Gon led the way out of the cockpit.

Anakin started to follow, but the pilot caught his arm. "I think it's a meeting just between Jedi," he whispered. "They're a secretive bunch, but they saved the Queen, so let them have their secrets. At least they're brave and willing to fight for what's right."

oOo

He was ever at Qui-Gon's side once they reached the Jedi Temple. Sometimes Anakin would be tempted to leave the Jedi, to find Padme, but his determination to solve the mystery kept him at the Master's side more often than not. He hoped for a return of the vision, seeing it now as an unfolding story, but it didn't come every time he was with Qui-Gon. Thinking that perhaps the younger Jedi, something like a junior Jedi, Anakin had learned, was sending him the dream, Anakin started standing close to Obi-Wan when the three of them were together. But the visions didn't always happen then, either.

On the second day after they had made planet-fall, Anakin was sitting against one wall in the training room watching the two Jedi train. Qui-Gon was talking about something called the Living Force, a thing Anakin was just beginning to understand was central the Jedi order. Apparently Obi-Wan still had something to learn about this part of the Force.

But he's really good, Anakin thought as Obi-Wan, his eyes closed, parried each of his master's thrown objects, destroying some with his lightsaber and other times sending them in the direction they'd come from. One of them came close to striking Qui-Gon on the head and the older Jedi laughed even as he ducked.

"Is that your way of telling me you're done with this exercise?" he asked.

Anakin noticed that Obi-Wan relaxed considerably when he was working with his master. Now the padawan grinned, an expression Anakin hadn't seen on his face yet, and answered, still defending himself with his eyes closed, "No, Master. I'm only sensing the nearest living force and sending my missiles in that direction." A large cushion clipped Qui-Gon on his hip. "How am I doing?"

A door opened and another Jedi- a padawan, Anakin thought when he saw the braid hanging over the man's right shoulder- entered. He stopped a little distance from Obi-Wan and watched the match.

Qui-Gon launched a large, wooden practice shield at Obi-Wan. "Impudent padawan of mine, you-"

Anakin cried out as a lancing pain tore up from his stomach. But even as he gave voice to the pain, he realized it wasn't his suffering that he felt.

The shield hit Obi-Wan solidly between the eyes and he went down with a grunt, dropping his lightsaber. His eyes were now open but blind.

Qui-Gon was at his padawan's side in a moment. "Obi-Wan!" He knelt at his apprentice's side, reaching up to touch the center of the younger man's forehead.

Anakin's eyes turned inwards as that other room, that other time, coalesced around him.

"Obi-Wan…" Qui-Gon warned.

"Please… It is nothing. Nothing serious. Please let me work this out on my own. I promise I'll be just fine. Please, Master."

Now Obi-Wan/Anakin could see the man's face. His eyes were lit with a bright concern Obi-Wan only saw when he, the apprentice, was badly injured. "You're trembling, Obi-Wan. I certainly will not leave this alone or let you work on it by yourself. Talk to me. I can help."

"No you can't. You're the last person who can help." Obi-Wan curled into himself, fighting against the tears that wanted to come. I'm a senior padawan! I can't cry! I won't cry! I'm doing the right thing and I won't let that bastard take it away from me!

"Do you want me to me fetch a Healer, Master Qui-Gon?" asked the padawan who had entered the training area.

Anakin shot the man a very nasty look, angry that he had sent the vision away again. But his anger was swallowed in curiosity as he saw the way the man was staring at Obi-Wan. His lips curved up at the corners and one of his hands was rubbing up and down the handle of the lightsaber he wore. As if feeling it gave him pleasure.

"Yes, ber'Nac, if you would," Qui-Gon said without looking up. He had stopped touching Obi-Wan's forehead, but still had his hand on his padawan's shoulder.

ber'Nac turned smartly on his heel and marched out of the training area. The door closed behind him and for a moment, all was silent.

Obi-Wan shook his head. "I'm all right. I just… lost focus. I'm fine. Really." He reached up and touched his forehead. "I'm sorry, Master. I just… lost focus."

"Which is unlike you enough to make me worry," Qui-Gon answered. "And neither are you in the habit of repeating yourself. Tell me, Obi-Wan: what passed through your mind before I scrambled your brains with that shield?"

Anakin felt Obi-Wan's reluctance. Not quite realizing what he was doing, the boy stood and crossed to where the two Jedi were. He knelt on Obi-Wan's other side and touched his shoulder. "I'm sorry about that," he said. "I was thinking about my mom. I didn't know I had sent the thought so strongly, or at all. I've never been able to do that before."

Obi-Wan glanced at him and smiled, a full one this time, the first such that he had directed at Anakin. "It's all right. If I had been guarding my mind as I should, it wouldn't have gotten through." He reached up and touched the small hand on his shoulder. "Will you help me to the healing wing, Anakin? I want to tell you something." He glanced at Qui-Gon. "I can walk, Master."

Anakin had the feeling that Obi-Wan was sending a thought and this was the first time he willingly spied.

Obi-Wan: I need to talk to him.

Qui-Gon: He lied to get you out of this.

Obi-Wan: Don't punish him. He doesn't know you can tell that he's lying. It worked well for him on Tatooine.

Qui-Gon, sounding a little less tense: You're starting to warm up to him, my Obi-Wan. I'm glad. Yes, go. Then, if they say you don't have to stay overnight, return to our quarters. I'll be there shortly.

Obi-Wan: Yes, Master.

After taking a breath, Obi-Wan stood with his master's assistance. Then he looked down at Anakin and laid his hand on the boy's shoulder. "Are you ready?"

Anakin nodded. As one, they walked out of the training area.

Obi-Wan asked almost immediately, "How much of my mind can you read?"

Anakin blinked. "I… Well, I'm not exactly reading it… It's like the pictures just appear in my head."

Obi-Wan considered that for a moment, his eyes flickering. "All right... How much of the pictures are you seeing? What did you see, in other words?"

He doesn't sound angry. Anakin glanced up at Obi-Wan, but the padawan wasn't looking at him. "I saw you and Master Qui-Gon. I think maybe you were lying down. The two of you were talking about a fever you had. Or maybe your forehead was just hot. You said you wanted to meditate instead of spar or go to the Healer's."

Obi-Wan held up a hand. Anakin tried to touch his mind, to pick up an emotion, but a solid wall stood between them. "I know what you're talking about," Obi-Wan said, his voice rough. "How far can you see? Can you see before we were talking?"

"I can't see anything before, but I heard up until you called Master Qui-Gon a…" He blushed ever so slightly and lowered his voice. This sort of language was okay on Tatooine, but he didn't think it would be appreciated in the Jedi Temple. "A bastard."

"I would never-" But Obi-Wan stopped. Then he laughed softly. "Anakin, I wasn't talking about him. I was thinking about… someone else."

Anakin didn't pry; he felt guilty for listening in on Obi-Wan's and Qui-Gon's conversation already. Though he did think he might be able to get through the mental shield if he worked at it. "Well, that's as much as I know."

Obi-Wan nodded. "I wonder how you're picking this up." He was frowning.

"I didn't mean to," Anakin said. He didn't like to sound like a little boy in front of Obi-Wan, but he couldn't help it.

Obi-Wan knelt before him, taking both of Anakin's shoulders in his strong hands. "I know. It's all right. You're just very… in tune with the Force, that's all." He smiled, then stood and pointed. "The Healing rooms are just around this corner. Let's go see if that shield did any damage to my higher-level functions."

And that, as far as Obi-Wan was concerned, was that.

oOo

Anakin followed Obi-Wan into the quarters they would be sharing. Qui-Gon was there before them, stirring a pot of something on the stove. He glanced at them and smiled as they stepped into the kitchen.

"Master, I believe it's my turn to cook tonight," Obi-Wan said. "I can finish that."

"No, that's quite all right, my young padawan. I rather enjoy it. What did the healers say?"

"I'm not injured. But I was given a lecture about watching where I put my head." Obi-Wan went to the cupboards and began taking out plates. Without hesitating, he handed them to Anakin, who went off to the table. "I really am fine, Master. Don't worry so about me."

"I can't help but worry, Obi-Wan. Shields, even if they're only made of wood, aren't something you should be catching with your head. Now…"

Anakin, setting out the plates, had been listening. Despite his earlier guilt, he listened to the thoughts that were running between the master and apprentice. His curiosity was too strong to ignore.

Qui-Gon: Tell me why you were distracted. It's so unlike you that I almost wish I had sensed a disturbance in the Force to explain your lapse of concentration. It would have explained a great deal, made me less worried, as little sense as that makes. So tell me.

Obi-Wan: Please don't make me.

Qui-Gon, shock and grief running down their link: This is the second time in as many weeks that you have been close to tears during one of our conversations. Obi-Wan, love, tell me what's wrong. Please.

Anakin's jaw dropped. Love? Did he call him love? I thought Jedi weren't supposed to be with anyone! But, he thought, maybe that was just something the pilots said. It might not be true.

Obi-Wan: Please don't make me. At least not now. Anakin is right outside and I- He cleared his throat. Please.

Qui-Gon: Very well. For now. But I will find a time to talk with you and you will answer my questions.

Obi-Wan, miserable and afraid: Yes, Master.

Qui-Gon: I love you, my padawan.

Obi-Wan: I love you, too.

Anakin strode into the kitchen, hoping he'd given Obi-Wan enough time to hide his tears. He's just starting to like me; I don't want to embarrass him. Anakin was startled to discover that he felt a little above Obi-Wan Kenobi. He's a Jedi. He shouldn't cry. The boy did his best to banish the feeling.

Obi-Wan was standing at the stove, his back to Anakin. Qui-Gon was rummaging through the drawers, gathering silverware. The design had struck Anakin from the first as extremely (and almost absurdly) low-tech. It was closer to his mother's kitchen than what he thought Jedi's kitchen should look like. He didn't know that Qui-Gon had designed the kitchen himself, calling to the Jedi's mind a planet he'd visited before he met Obi-Wan.

"Is there anything else I can do?" Anakin asked.

"There are potholders in that drawer to your left," Obi-Wan said. "Bring them to me if you would."

Obi-Wan's voice was steady, completely devoid of the tears Anakin had been sure he would hear. The boy's esteem of the padawan rose again. I couldn't manage to cry and then sound like I hadn't been. And maybe, since Qui-Gon hinted he doesn't cry often, it's something worth crying about.

Dinner was quiet; Anakin spent most of the time trying to get up the nerve to ask Qui-Gon about his new telepathic connection to Obi-Wan. Because I don't seem to be getting feelings from anyone else. Maybe Obi-Wan and I are meant to communicate through the link. Qui-Gon says that there are very few coincidences when the Force is involved.

So when Obi-Wan stood to clear his plate from the table, Anakin seized his chance. "Master Qui-Gon, can I talk to you alone please? There's something about the Force I don't get."

Qui-Gon raised an eyebrow. Obi-Wan had disappeared into the kitchen. Anakin had no doubt the padawan had heard him, but was choosing to let his master handle this. "Why do you want to speak alone, Anakin? There are very few secrets among the Jedi."

Conscious of the fact that Qui-Gon could probably tell if he was lying, Anakin said, "Obi-Wan and I already talked about it. We didn't come any closer to an explanation for it."

"Then Obi-Wan would benefit from hearing my explanation as well- if, that is, I can explain it."

Anakin fidgeted. Why exactly didn't he want to say anything in front of Obi-Wan? Part of it has to do with Obi-Wan not talking about it in front of Qui-Gon. Maybe he doesn't want his master to know. But I don't know anything more about the situation than Master Qui-Gon does. Except he did, and he knew it. He knew Obi-Wan had been terrified at the idea of telling his master whatever truth he was concealing. Well, Qui-Gon knows that already, so maybe it's okay if Obi-Wan joins us. "Okay," he said at last, "Obi-Wan can sit with us."

As if that was his cue- maybe it was- Obi-Wan appeared from the kitchen and said, "Maybe we should all go sit on the couches. I'll clean this up later."

Anakin sensed fear in the padawan but also great determination. But what Obi-Wan was determined to do, Anakin couldn't be sure. Maybe he only wanted to hide the secret as long as possible.

Qui-Gon looked between the two of them, frowning. "I've fallen out of the loop here," he said. "There's something you both want to tell me; that much is clear." He rose from the table and they followed him. He didn't take them to the couches but into the meditation room. There he took one of the mats and sat cross-legged on the firm mesh weaving. Anakin and Obi-Wan faced him on other mats.

Obi-Wan spoke first. "Master, you know I have been keeping much from you. I ask only that you do not punish Anakin for helping me today. He knew that I was distressed and leapt to my defense. He had the right intentions even if he didn't completely understand the situation." The padawan reached up and touched his braid as he did sometimes when he was nervous.

Qui-Gon studied Obi-Wan for a moment, then turned to Anakin. "Speak your piece, young one. There is no talk of punishment, for you have not been accepted as a padawan learner yet."

Anakin swallowed. "Master, I have been reading Obi-Wan's mind. I didn't mean to do it, but these pictures from his mind would just appear in my head. I told him about it this morning." He shifted on the mat but didn't uncross his legs. "I saw a morning not long ago when you woke him. You thought he might be sick and suggested going to the healers." He saw comprehension on Qui-Gon's face and rushed on, wanting to get it all out in case the Jedi interrupted. "Obi-Wan didn't want to talk about it. He tried first to pass it off as drinking too much but you said you didn't believe that, saying Obi-Wan wasn't ber'Nac. And Obi-Wan thought-" beside him Obi-Wan tensed- " 'ber'Nac… Yes, I know he drinks.' He asked to meditate with you but you know something was wrong. You warned him, but he begged to be let off." Anakin swallowed again. "Obi-Wan was very afraid." Then he remembered the pain in his stomach and thought maybe that, too, had come from Obi-Wan. "His stomach was hurting badly, but he didn't want to tell you."

"It wasn't my stomach," Obi-Wan said quietly. Then he bowed his head. "Forgive me for interrupting."

"Speak on, Anakin," Qui-Gon said softly, his eyes locked with the boy's.

Anakin shook his head. "That's all I know. When that padawan that spoke- it was ber'Nac- the vision or whatever it was disappeared. The rest you know." He felt a little better now that the truth was out, but was also nervous. There was still the matter of his lying to Qui-Gon.

"Why did you lie?" Qui-Gon asked as if he was reading his mind.

Maybe he is. Anakin squared his shoulders, facing up to his mistake. "Obi-Wan seemed nervous. I'm not sure if he didn't want to tell you or if he didn't want to do it in front of me and the other padawan. So I lied." He looked down. "I won't do it again."

Qui-Gon was nodding. "I believe you, Anakin." He turned his gaze on Obi-Wan. "Will you tell me now or is this something you want to admit just between us?"

"It only seems fair that since you urged Anakin to include me that I shouldn't exclude him. Besides, we have to tell him about us if-"

Qui-Gon held his hand up and sent through their connection: Obi-Wan, does this have something to do with our relationship?

Anakin tried to look politely puzzled as he listened.

Obi-Wan answered, Indirectly. To explain it to you I would have to refer to us. Then he turned his head and Anakin found himself looking into the fiercest eyes he had ever seen. "You might have admitted this, too," Obi-Wan said. "How long have you been listening? Since we came into the kitchen? Since we were in the training area? Before that?"

"Control your temper, Obi-Wan," Qui-Gon ordered, his voice no louder. He looked at Anakin. "Answer his question, please."

Anakin twisted his hands in his lap. "I heard the two of you in the training room. That was the first time."

"So then you doubtless already know about us," Qui-Gon answered.

"Well, um… I don't know what you mean. I… I know you're together. Like… Well, you called him 'love.' " To his chagrin, Anakin realized he was blushing. He looked down at his hands once more. They had never seemed to be such good sources of distraction.

"Yes. You already know." Qui-Gon urged without using the Force, "Look at me, Anakin."

The boy raised his head dutifully.

"I love Obi-Wan. My love for him is secondary only to my love of the Jedi Code. It was a difficult thing for both Obi-Wan and I to put aside a part of the Code we both disagreed with but that we had been taught to follow. The penalty for the law we break is more terrible than you might think. Please don't tell anyone unless you are asked directly about us. Then of course I don't expect you to lie to Master Yoda or any other Jedi."

Anakin felt dazed and more than a little lost, but he caught on to the first question that popped into his mind, using his curiosity as the tool it was to dig him out of his confusion. "Why aren't Jedi allowed to love, Master?"

Qui-Gon gestured to Obi-Wan and the younger man bowed his head slightly before turning to look at Anakin.

"Love is powerful, Anakin. It can separate you from the Force if it tells you to do something the Force doesn't want."

"Huh?"

Obi-Wan smiled, but his eyes were sad. "If you were given the choice between saving your mother or the Republic, which would you save?"

Anakin bit his lip, thinking hard. He knew what he should say, but knew also that he must tell the truth of what he really believed. "My mother. Is that wrong?"

"Not for you, not yet," Obi-Wan assured him. "If you become a padawan, you'll learn that each Jedi is a servant to the Republic. No more, no less. My relationship with Qui-Gon is considered wrong because it is believed that my love for him would color my view of my duty."

"Does it?" Anakin asked.

"My belief in duty was colored before we fell in love," Obi-Wan answered. "I loved him first as a teacher, as my master, as the person I had been with for nine years. Those weren't proper feelings for a padawan to have and I tried to clear them from my mind. I finally realized that I couldn't do it without leaving the Jedi order, in which case my feelings wouldn't have mattered. So I settled on a balance between meditation on the power of the Force and working through my love for him during battle." He saw the confusion returning to Anakin's face and tried to explain. "My first duty is, and will always be, to the light Force. Next I will do what I can for the Republic within the constraints of the Force. Then I will do what I can for Qui-Gon and my love for him within what the Republic demands of me."

"So you aren't letting your love for him get in the way of your use of the Force," Anakin said. When Obi-Wan nodded, the boy asked, "But you said your view of the Force was colored by your love."

"No, I said my duty was colored by my love. I can keep my relationship with the light Force pure through meditation, but I cannot completely separate what is good for the Republic from what is good for Qui-Gon. And I will probably never be able to do that, no matter how much I meditate. Because the Republic isn't the all-consuming, living, breathing director of all life; it is just a government. A strong government, a good government, a very important government, but still just a created thing."

Anakin thought it might take him awhile to get his head around that, but he saw that it could be done. "Okay. Maybe I should meditate on that. Can you show me how?"

Qui-Gon held up his hand. "Wait. I'm glad you want to pursue this, Anakin, but I still need Obi-Wan to tell me what has him so guarded and distracted."

Obi-Wan sighed, but he smiled ruefully. "I'm not going to get out of this, am I?"

"Not a chance," his master answered.

The buzzer for their door sounded in the next room and Qui-Gon groaned. "Someone is determined to make me eat my words." He rose gracefully and the other two followed him into the front room.

Qui-Gon stepped to the doors and opened them. He bowed when he saw Master Yoda. "Master, how may I help you?" Behind him, he sensed rather than saw Obi-Wan and Anakin doing the same.

"Speak with you the Queen wishes to," Yoda answered. "With you and me and no others." He turned and started down the hallway leaning on his stick.

Qui-Gon glanced at Obi-Wan. Stay here, he sent.

Yes, Master. We will.

Qui-Gon strode out the doors, following Yoda.

Obi-Wan turned to Anakin. "Well, I'm off again for a little while, anyway." His smile was troubled at first, but then it cleared. "Come on; I'll teach you how to meditate."

tbc

Please review. I can't know ifthe writting is messed up or the facts are wrongif you don't tell me. Thank you!

Estel B.