I'M ON WINTER BREAK! WHOOO! So, in celebration of this awesome event, I decided to write up a little insanity oneshot for y'all! I haven't been doing those for a while, have I?
So in this one, my dear friend Sonic is making an appearance alongside me, and we are having an INSANITY WAR!
MFB Characters: AHHH! THERE'S TWO OF THEM! RUN FOR YOUR SANITY! -they all run away-
Sonic: -comes in eating an apple- What's with them?
Me: -shrugs- Not sure. Wanna do the AN with me?
Sonic: Sure. -waves- Hi, everybody! We hope you enjoy our insanity war!
Together: We own NOTHING!
Gingka was battling Zero at Bey Park when there was a tremendous explosion that rocked the ground. Zero was able to grab onto the railings on the platform he was on, but Gingka unfortunately wasn't so lucky and fell off his platform.
"What the heck was that?!" Zero exclaimed.
Gingka sat up, looking in the direction of the explosion. Smoke was rising in the distance. He groaned. "Not again,"
Zero turned to him. "What do you mean, Gingka?"
He held up a gloved hand. "Give it a second, and you'll see."
There was silence for about ten seconds. Then, there was another explosion that rocked the ground once again. Up in the sky, Zero and Gingka saw a form launch high up into the air and then come crashing down into Bey Park, creating a huge crater.
"I still don't get it," Zero said to Gingka. "What's going on?"
Gingka didn't reply. Instead, he got up off the ground and walked over to the crater. Zero followed curiously, and the two bladers looked into the pit.
At the bottom was a fourteen-year-old girl with red-streaked brown hair tied in two long braids, picking her glasses up off the ground. Her hoodie, shirt, leggings, and shorts were dirty, and her face was covered with soot, but to Gingka anyway she was unrecognizable.
Gryffyn put her glasses back on, shook her fist, and shouted in the direction from which she had been blown up into the air, "I'll get you!"
She snapped her fingers and reappeared outside the crater in a puff of smoke.
Zero jumped back in surprise. "Whoa! How did she do that?"
Gryffyn turned at the voice. "Oh, hey, Gingka. Hey, Zero. How's life?"
"Worse, now that you're back in town," Gingka replied.
"Aw, thanks!"
Zero sweatdropped.
"So what was that explosion back there?" Gingka asked Gryffyn. "Please tell me it wasn't Gocty,"
"Nah, Gocty's on vacation," Gryffyn replied, straightening her hoodie. "Either that or she's too lazy to answer my PM's. That was my friend Sonic, actually."
A look of dread came onto Gingka's face. "Not Sonic," he said fearfully. "Do I even want to know what you two crazies are doing this time?"
Zero looked at him. "This time?"
Gryffyn seemed to have not heard him. "Oh, that's easy. We're having an insanity war."
"Ah!" Gingka's hands came up to grip his hair. "Not an insanity war, anything but an insanity war!"
"Sorry to burst your bubble, Gingkie, but that's what we're doing!" Gryffyn said cheerfully. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a fellow authoress to defeat."
Then she pulled a Nerf Zombie Strike Doominator Blaster out of her hood and ran off, screaming, "CHARGE! CHARGE THE BLOCKHOUSE!"
The two bladers looked at each other, then ran off after her.
Outside the B-Pit, the street it was on was now destroyed completely. Pink and blue fires were burning everywhere, a light trickle of snowflakes were falling from the sky, and... were those remnants of dark blue dynamite sticks?
Sonic stood in the middle of it all, holding a Nerf N-Strike Modulus ECS-10 Blaster in her hands in an attacking position. "Oh, Gryffyn!" she called. "Here, Gryffie Gryffie Gryffie!"
As everyone hopefully will recall, Sonic had long brown hair with TARDIS-blue streaks with glasses, and wore a black North Face, a dark blue V-neck shirt, teal leggings, black socks, and blue Converse high tops.
Madoka and Maru peered out the window at the mess.
"What a mess!" Maru exclaimed. "Chief, what's going on here?"
"It's an insanity war, Maru," Madoka explained. "Something I hoped to never see again, too."
"An insanity war? What's that?"
"That's when two authoresses, or authors, on fanfiction meet up and have a battle to see who's the most insane. And those two are at the top of the list for having the most insanity wars."
"Who are they, Chief?"
"They go by Gryffyn and Sonic, but their official names are Gryffyn Addams and SonicGirl. No one knows their real names."
"It's because no one wants their real names to be known on a public site!" Sonic shouted, obviously hearing their conversation.
Maru jumped. "Yikes! How did she know we were talking about that?"
"I have super-hearing, duh!" Sonic shouted back.
Suddenly they heard a stomping sound. Sonic looked up, and Madoka and Maru looked in the same direction to see Gryffyn riding up to where Sonic was standing on a huge robot dog.
"I got tired of running!" Gryffyn yelled to Sonic. "Oh by the way, SAY HELLO TO MAH LITTLE FRIENDS!"
Sure enough, beneath the robot dog, a massive army of minions were running around. They were decked out in Viking gear (complete with a smear of red paint on the helmets to show who they belonged to), and were screaming battle cries and swinging their swords and axes and maces.
Sonic eeped and snapped her fingers, so that she was now also on a robot dog, but with the purple minions running around below her. The yellow minions stopped and gasped. Then they all screamed, turned around, and fled.
"Hey! Get back here!" Gryffyn yelled to them.
Sonic laughed. "Looks like I'm gonna win this war!"
"Not for long!" Gryffyn yelled back. She snapped her fingers, making the two robot dogs disappear. Sonic looked down to see where her robot dog had gone, then shrugged and aimed her blaster at Gryffyn, who also aimed her blaster.
"Three..." the two girls said together. "Two… ONE!"
Then they pressed the triggers, but instead of Nerf darts laser beams flew out of the guns. The two beams, both red, met at the center and exploded, canceling each other out. Madoka and Maru jumped back in fear.
As the two authoresses continued trying to blast each other, Madoka's phone rang. She answered it. "Hello?"
"Madoka, it's me!" Gingka said into his phone. He and Zero were running down the street towards the noise. "What's going on down there?"
"Well, Gryffyn and Sonic tried to attack each other with robot dogs and minions, but Gryffyn's minions ran away, and now they're blasting each other with Nerf guns," Madoka reported.
"Definitely Gryffyn and Sonic," Gingka sighed. "Well at least they can't hurt each other too much."
Madoka winced. "Actually…"
"Madoka? What are they doing?" Madoka was about to tell him when Gingka interrupted. "No, wait. I want to see for myself. Zero and I'll be over there in a few minutes."
When Zero and Gingka got there, they were surprised to find the place deserted. They looked around.
"Where did they go?" Zero questioned.
The door to the B-Pit opened and Maru ran out. "Oh, thank goodness you're here! They were shooting at each other with lasers that came out of these Nerf guns and—hey, where'd they go?"
"That's what we were going to ask you," Zero replied as Madoka came out of the store.
"I don't know where they went, guys," Madoka said to them. "They just disappeared right before you got here."
Suddenly, they all heard the sound of rubber skidding on a road, and simultaneously turned to see two red and green carts barreling towards them.
"RUN!" Zero shouted, and they all scrambled for cover. The two carts sped past them down the street.
Gryffyn and Sonic appeared, floating in the air and holding Wii controllers in their hands.
"Get him, Mario!" Gryffyn shouted, making the cart swerve left and right.
"Come on, Luigi, kick his butt!" Sonic yelled, making her cart swerve right and left.
Madoka and Gingka peered out from behind a bench and sweatdropped.
"Are they seriously fighting using Mario Kart?" Gingka asked.
"Hey, we're trying to race over here!" Sonic yelled. "Could you keep it down with your making out behind the bench?"
A tick mark appeared on Madoka's forehead. "For the last time, WE ARE NOT DATING!" she yelled.
"Yeah, right, of course you're not, now shut up!" Gryffyn yelled.
The two carts swerved down the street and crashed right into a truck, where they exploded and disappeared, leaving a scorched truck behind.
"I totally won that!" Sonic said. "Me and Luigi just kicked your butts!"
"No way! Mario and I totally won that!" Gryffyn replied. "That's why Mario's always Player 1!"
Sonic gaped at her. "Oh, no you didn't."
"Oh, yes I did,"
The two of them literally glared daggers at each other until Gingka stood up and cleared his throat. Surprised, the two girls looked over.
"Oh, hey, Gingka," Sonic said. "What's up?"
"Come on, girls, what was it this time?" Gingka asked.
"What was what this time?" Gryffyn asked.
"What are you insanity warring about this time?"
"Oh yeah, that. Well," Gryffyn said in reply. "Our school recently let us out on mid-winter break…"
"So we decided to insanity war over nothing at all to celebrate," Sonic finished. "It's also because we haven't done something like this in a while and need to let off some steam."
"Yeah, school sucks," Gryffyn agreed.
"Yeah. But all that aside…" Sonic turned to Gryffyn. "I will defeat you!"
"No, I will!"
Then they both snapped their fingers and disappeared in puffs of smoke.
Gingka and Madoka sighed. Zero and Maru came up to them.
"Hey, Gingka," Zero questioned. "What was that about you guys making out behind a bench?"
Both Gingka and Madoka reddened. "N-nothing Zero," Gingka mumbled.
Suddenly, they heard snickering and looked around. Zero heard it coming from an alleyway and went over to see Gryffyn snickering to herself while setting up a sound system and an iPod.
"Gryffyn? What are you doing?"
Gryffyn looked up. "Oh, hey, Zero. I'm gonna play a song so horrible, so vile, so disturbing, that Sonic is totally going to surrender."
"What's the song?"
They both heard a puff of smoke, and Sonic's voice ask, "Hey, have you guys seen Gryffyn?"
Gryffyn giggled and put earplugs in her ears. "You'll see."
Then she pressed the PLAY button.
Guitar sounds rang out, along with a block. And the song that was so horrible, so vile, so disturbing, began to play.
It was "What Makes You Beautiful" by One Direction.
Sonic screamed, dropped her blaster gun, and covered her ears. "NOT THAT SONG!" she yelled.
Everyone else covered their ears as well. "THIS SONG IS HORRIBLE!" Madoka yelled.
"GRYFFYN! TURN IT OFF!" Gingka hollered.
"SURRENDER!" Gryffyn yelled at Sonic.
"NEVER!" Sonic yelled back. She uncovered one ear and snapped her fingers. The song stopped.
Gryffyn took out her earplugs. "Not cool!"
Sonic snapped her fingers again, and a new song came on. This one was just as horrible, vile, and disturbing as the last one, perhaps even a little more so.
It was "Baby" by Justin Bieber.
Gryffyn screamed and covered her ears. "YOU SUCK!" she yelled at Sonic.
Sonic of course, didn't hear her, as earplugs were in her ears and she couldn't hear a thing.
Gingka covered his ears again. "THIS ONE'S WORSE!" he shouted.
Covering her own ears, Madoka ran over and crushed the sound system with her foot. Immediately the song was shut off.
Sonic took out her earplugs. "Hey!" she exclaimed to Madoka. "What gives? I was about to make her surrender!" She shrugged. "Oh well."
Then she turned and blasted chocolate pudding out of her hands at Gryffyn.
Gryffyn wiped chocolate pudding off her face. "Oh, it is on." Then she stuck out her own hands, and blasted lime Jello at Sonic.
As Gingka, Madoka, Zero, and Maru ran back into the B-Pit for cover, the whole street was soon covered with chocolate pudding and lime Jello.
Gryffyn made a bucket of pink paint appear in midair and dumped it all over Sonic. Sonic retaliated by dumping a bucket of lurid orange paint over Gryffyn. The red-streak-haired authoress made long strands of licorice explode out of the ground and tied up Sonic with them. Sonic bit through them and made a giant pile of pink cotton candy fall on top of Gryffyn.
Mashed bananas came out of the cotton candy pile and soon covered Sonic. Gryffyn burst out, but was promptly hit in the face by a banana cream pie. She retaliated by lobbing a pumpkin pie at Sonic, who pulled out a water gun and sprayed carrot juice at her.
The two authoresses wiped pie filling off their faces. They were panting heavily.
"I guess there's only one way to settle this, then?" Sonic asked.
"Yep," Gryffyn replied. She grinned. "This is gonna be fun."
Then they both reached into their pockets and drew out lightsabers. They clicked them on. Sonic's was blue, while Gryffyn's was red.
They slowly circled around, slowly waving their lightsabers to try and intimidate each other.
"Ready?" Gryffyn said loudly. Sonic nodded. She raised her saber, and—
"Wait!" Gryffyn raised her hand. "We need some mood music for this."
She snapped her fingers, and "Detroit Rock City" by KISS came out of nowhere.
Gryffyn let out a battle cry and charged. There was a mechanical-sounding noise as the two sabers met. The two authoresses continued sword fighting, each occasionally throwing in their own little perks to try and win. At one point, for example, Gryffyn was sprayed in the face with flavored water, and there was another time when Sonic got blinded by an apple pie.
The two adults, Zero, and Maru watched all of this safe inside the B-Pit.
"We have to stop them!" Maru said fearfully. "We have to stop them or they'll kill each other!"
Gingka looked at Madoka. Madoka nodded, and went behind the counter. Behind the counter was a little compartment sealed by glass. Writing on the glass said, "IN CASE OF INSANITY WAR BREAK GLASS."
Madoka picked up the little hammer and shattered the glass. She took out the object in the compartment, a coach's whistle.
Zero sweatdropped. "A coach's whistle?" he questioned. "How is that going to help us?"
"You'd be surprised," Gingka said to him as Madoka walked out of the B-Pit. Instantly, she was splattered by chocolate pudding, but she didn't stop. She raised the whistle to her mouth, and blew. The resulting noise was so loud it drowned out the loud guitar riffs.
Gryffyn and Sonic froze and looked at her. The song screeched like a cut-off record and stopped.
"Okay, guys, that's quite enough for now!" Madoka said loudly. "Look at the street! You guys trashed the place! And look at yourselves! You're both a mess!"
Gryffyn and Sonic looked around. "Huh," Sonic said. "I guess we did."
Gingka came out of the store. "Can you guys continue this some other time?" he asked.
"Aw, but we were having fun!" Gryffyn whined.
"I don't care!" Madoka shouted. "Either clean up and get out of here or try to find out who's better some other way! That doesn't involve trashing the street!"
"Wait, find out who's better?" Sonic repeated. "We weren't insanity warring because of that, Madoka. We were just insanity warring for the heck of it."
A tick mark appeared on Madoka's forehead.
Sonic checked a blue watch on her wrist and groaned. "Aw man!"
"What's up?"
"I have to get back. My mom's going to wonder where I am."
Gryffyn checked her fob watch. "Aw, that stinks!" She grinned at Sonic. "You know what we have to do first, right?"
Sonic grinned back. "I do believe I do."
Then they snapped their fingers. A large bomb appeared in the street, along with a dynamite switch connected to it.
Gingka's eyes widened. "Is that a…"
"Yep!" Gryffyn said cheerfully. "My specialty! A datil pepper jelly bomb!"
Then the two authoresses pressed down on the switch.
BOOM!
Me: Ah, that was good! I'm feeling better already!
Sonic: No kidding! I feel like I just lost—How much schoolwork have I done? Two hundred pounds of it?
Me: -looking around- Hey, where's Gingka?
Sonic: -points over to the emo corner- He's over there. He said he wasn't going to bother with the AN this time around.
Me: Oh. -shrugs- Whatever. Anyway, -turns to you readers- hope you all enjoyed!
Sonic: Props to whoever recognizes the Arsenic and Old Lace reference!
Me: Gryffyn—
Sonic: And Sonic is out!
Both of us: Peace, and may the Force be with you!
