Full Summary : What happens when the one you love doesn't talk to you? When your on a date, it's quiet. Now a question jumps in and you ask yourself, are we meant to be? Sakura and Syaoran are in this situation, and sometimes people aren't suppose to be in love.

a/n : I thank you for dropping by and hope you enjoy this SxS fic. So please, enjoy everyone! This is also a repost of "A Neurotic First Date" I had a lot, and I mean A LOT of typing errors and decided to fix everything. But please enjoy.

Arigatou!

Disclaimer : Though I wish I did, I do not own Card Captor Sakura. They belong to the company C.L.A.M.P

Are we meant to be? ちゅう
By: Syaoran 'Spaar

Chapter One:
A nervous wreck, to another


She had never talked to him much ever since she had confessed her feelings. Though, they had barely talked to eachother at all, not knowing how to talk, or how to start, and how to follow up now that there in love. Why is this so difficult?

All you had to do was talk… start a conversation and it will start. But why didn't it happen? The times before the love started, they were the best of friends, but now acted as if… as if they had only met through friends minutes ago. It was as if they wanted to learn more about each other every single second. But why not now? This was so confusing for her.

Even on the phone, they would spend countless hours not saying a word and still not wanting to hang up on one another. The love so strong, but the feelings so dull.

Is it just young love? Is it true that kids that young aren't supposed to fall in love? No it can't be… But it seemed so much like it. Everytime she would look around… they were the youngest couple. Feeling left out, feeling that they wouldn't fit in the world as lovers… would they? Is young love a fact? Or just a rotten fiction that is never suppose to exists?

Sometimes she would think that her life would be a lot better without Syaoran… but she knew that she was only lying to herself, and had to stop thinking such nonsense. This thought would only make things worse, and yet for sure, it seemed to have made things a lot worse. The darkness came every night and in the morning, the darkness would sweep over the sun like a blanket.

Feeling so lonely when there is someone right next to you who loves you just as much as you do to them, is that normal? Some people would say something like 'your still kids, slow it down…' or 'you have years ahead of you, don't worry.' Yes sometimes they were right, but most of the times they were wrong.

Don't worry? Sometimes you have to worry in order to do the right things, because if you don't worry, then you might someday find that worries can lead to saving lives. It doesn't matter how, but it does, and that's a fact.

Your still kids slow it down… that was right. Though if you're going at already a slow speed and you slow it down, it can also lead to bad things. What are the bad things? Who knows, only the couples do. Slowing down when already slow is never a good thing to do. It always seems to be the worst. When fast, you must slow down… but what do you do when at a normal pace of speed? Do you slow down? Or step it up to the next gear?

Now does it even make sense to be lonely when you're with the person you love? Because to me it makes no sense, no sense at all! Love is so complicated in the world, why can't love be easy like everything else?

They always say that love hurts, love is difficult, love is something to be wise about… was Sakura wise about choosing Syaoran? Who knows, it could have been Hiiragizawa Eriol for that matter. When people say love hurts, they were telling the truth… for once. When people say it was difficult, they were wrong, why? Because you just don't know what it's about.

But some people are able to comprehend love easily… why can't we do it?


I love Syaoran with all my heart
I couldn't dare to live a life being torn apart
I met him back when I was only ten
And I wish he could have told me back then
X
Sometimes I feel that my love was never meant to be
Sometimes I wish you people can see the pain that I see
The pain in my heart is more than I can bear
My pain just won't go away even when Syaoran's there
X
Is this the part of life where kids are suppose to feel
The things in them that they don't want to appeal
The things we do are suppose to be fantastic
But it all turns out to only be neurotic
X
Every night I would cry my tears in bed
And every night it would seem that my soul had just fled
The question in my head is darker than I can see
But I know what it is… so are we meant to be?
X
木之本桜 (Kinomoto Sakura)

O

O

O

O

After wiping a year tear-drops away, and lying on a cushioned bed, Tomoyo glazed with a sparkle of eyes into the ceiling. Hugging a pink journal in her arms, humming a small tune with her magical voice, she tossed and turned smiling.

She turned to her side, and stared out into the night sky window.

The night was dark, the moon was not full but it still glowed as bright as the sun in the morning. A tiny yellow canary flew past the window, chirping a click-clack sound. The night was perfect, how could it get much better? It can't.

After hearing a door open, Tomoyo quickly turns around, seeing a nervous Sakura holding a tray of tea in her hands.

"T…T…T…" Sakura paused with an expressional face. Thinking that she was calling for help because the tray was possibly heavy, Tomoyo sat the pink journal down and walked up and grabbed the tray away, setting it down on a dresser.

"Sakura-Chan, what ever is the matter with you?" Tomoyo asked her friend, which now stood paralyzed.

Sakura's mouth dropped open, and her hands dangled near the floor. She seemed surprised at something… or even in a bit of an embarrassed. She smoothly walked over to her bed, and picked up the journal, staring dead into her best friends eye.

"Tomoyo!" yelled Sakura, not so loud, but loud enough to where Tomoyo would understand her frustration and anger in her tone. "You read my journal?"

Tomoyo laughed friendly like, and shrugged.

"Do not worry Sakura-Chan, I only read one poem." She replied with a smile.

Sakura quickly ran over to her bed, and snatched the journal. Flipping through every single page in her journal, Sakura breathed hard, and uneasy, trying to find what page Tomoyo had read.

She then stopped, and sighed.

Her heart raced, and her face entered a hot-stream. Her blood seemed to have thrashed inside like a reckless river. She quickly ran across the room and asked her friend,

"Well what did you read?" Sakura quietly demanded, urging to know the page.

Tomoyo scratched laid a finger on her chin in search of words. She stared at Sakura, who was glaring down with the eyes to death. Tomoyo smiled and held her hands forward motioning them into a "Back off" type.

"I'm just kidding Sakura-Chan; I read your last entry… the one about you and Li."

Dropping another jaw down, she quickly flipped through the pages to her last entry. She scanned the pace fast, and kneeled to the ground, her head bent over as if pleading.

"Please, don't tell Syaoran… please Tomoyo." Sakura begged at her knees with her hands folded.

Tomoyo's eyes widened and helped Sakura off her knees, sweeping away dust, and lending her hands on top Sakura's shoulders for comfort.

She stared deep into Sakura's eyes with a worried look. She couldn't help the fact that Sakura had changed ever since she fell in love.

"But why do you not want to tell him? The poem you wrote was very pleasing and so sweet."

Dropping to her knees once more, Sakura pleaded Tomoyo not to tell Syaoran. She was afraid that Syaoran would think she did not love him. But it was all wrong. Sakura loved Syaoran with her whole heart like the poem had said. Nothing would want to rip them apart. But inside, Sakura couldn't help but to feel a sharp pain in her as well.

Sakura stood up and jumped on her bed, starring at the floor with her arms crossed as if hugging.

"Syaoran means the world to me… and knowing him, he might take it the wrong way." Sakura Whispered to Tomoyo. Her voice was as sweet as can get.

Tomoyo quickly grabbed the journal from the bed and scanned through the poem, she veered at Sakura with a dazed and focused look. She turned the book over, showing her friend the poem.

"But there isn't anything negative about you or Syaoran in here, why are you so concerned?"

"He might take it another way… I'm not really much on words when it comes to it." Sakura confessed, though it seemed like Tomoyo did not care.

"It's still-"

"Please! Just don't tell him! If he reads it, he might think that I want to never see him again." Sakura held her hands around Tomoyo's, trusting her as her best friend no not tells Syaoran.

After a long pause, Tomoyo sighed, finally giving up.

"Fine, I will not tell him."

"Arigatou…" Sakura said finally done arguing. She lied down on her bed, starring at the white empty ceiling. She took a picture from her drawer next to her bed and starred at it with a smile. It was a picture of Syaoran and her, posing together during a summer picnic; she was in the arms Syaoran, smiling, and having a day.

Sakura remembered that day as if it were yesterday.

It was only a week after she had jumped across the ruptured stairs across into the arms of Syaoran confessing her love inside of the Tomoeda Clock Tower. Sakura invited everyone she knew to go on a picnic with her just to hang out near the Penguin Park,

That day, to Sakura, was one of the best days she could have ever had. She spent a lot of alone time with Syaoran, she got to know so much about him and vise versa. The picnic lasted from morning to night, and every moment was spent having fun, eating, and stories be told by her brother, Touya.

After a moment of joy while staring at the picture, she soon frowned. Sakura set the picture back on her drawer. Taking a pillow and stuffing her head under it, she tossed and turned, trying to figure out what was wrong with her.

Why wasn't her time with Syaoran now like the time it was back then? They seemed dead to each other, not one of them had fun being with eachother no more. They were trying to do fun things, but those fun things were always horrible things.

A few days ago, Yamazaki and Chiharu asked if Sakura and Syaoran would be able to come over and help them with there summer project, but it only lead to Yamazaki telling more stories that Chiharu were known to be lies. Interesting stories, but lies.

"Oh my…" Tomoyo gasped looking at one of Sakura's clocks on top of her bed.

Sakura alertly stood up, throwing the pillow back in its place to see what happened.

"Daijoubu?" Sakura asked.

"Sakura-Chan! Look at the time." Tomoyo breathed as if she couldn't hold the words in anymore.

Quickly, Sakura turned her head and stared into the circled shaped clock standing on her head board. She turned back to Tomoyo with a face.

"What is it Tomoyo-Chan?"

"Don't you remember…" Tomoyo quickly ran out of Sakura's room and came back with a suit case.

"Hoe?"

"You have a special night today with Syaoran." Tomoyo said while she dug through the suitcase in search of cloths.

With a shock of forgetfulness, Sakura felt that the hair in the back of her neck had just been pulled. She hugged a pillow and slid down to the floor.

"Oh yea, my date with Syaoran." Sakura remembered.

This date had been planned by Meilin and Tomoyo themselves, trying to help the relationship of there friends Syaoran and Sakura. After noticing that neither one of them are having fun, they thought that they would try planning something out for the two.

"We have to get you ready." Tomoyo grabbed Sakura by the hand and pulled her up to her feet.

Dropping her pillow to the floor, she almost tripped over the suitcase, but with the help of Tomoyo, was able to balance and stay on her feet. Sakura was dragged to her mirror. Hair binders, and braids stood out of there boxes, waiting to be used.

"Hold still." Tomoyo suggested.

Tomoyo grabbed a brush from the drawer and started brushing Sakura's hair. Streaks by streaks were brushed nonstop.

To Sakura, the strokes of Tomoyo's brushing reminded her of when Syaoran would run his fingers through her short hair. She loved those moments. It made her feel caring, but for some other reason, hurt as well.

Though a lot of the times Syaoran and Sakura had been together, those moments weren't known as dates. They weren't really alone all the time. But tonight is suppose to be there first date ever. They would finally be alone, talk over what was going on, and just have fun together without anyone around. At least that was planned to do.

Sakura dismayed and frowned at the mirror. Her face was drowned into soreness once again.

"Tomoyo-Chan." Sakura started. Tomoyo stared into the mirror at Sakura in her reply. "Do you think that," She paused "… that Syaoran and I are meant to be?"

Tomoyo giggled as if that was a joke.

"Sakura-Chan, how could you think such a thing?"

"You know, Syaoran and I-"

"Oh Sakura-Chan, the two of you are just going through tough times that's all, you two are perfect for eachother."

"Yea but, but, but…" Sakura tried searching for words, but noting came up. She was clueless on what to say next.

"Please Sakura-Chan, do not be sad. You and Syaoran will be able to work it out tonight."

A smile crossed Sakura's face. Tomoyo was right; she was able to work things out with him.

After brushing Sakura's hair, Tomoyo strapped on a couple bands in her hair, and gave her the old fourth grade hair style she wore to school every day.

"Now, I have the perfect cloths for you." Tomoyo dashed back to her suitcase, and dug through it. Seconds later, she pulled out a pink and white skirt. She then searched in once again and pulled out a matching blouse.

"I made this specifically for you, and I want you to wear it during your night out with Syaoran."

Sakura nodded.

"I will."

Sakura thought about what the night would be like. Would it be fun? Or would it be like every other time, dreadful. She wanted to be with Syaoran… or Atleast that's what she thought at the moment. Are we really meant to be together?

That question played like a never ending movie in her head. The question seemed to never stop no matter what. What happened to the old days? Were they really better as friends? Sakura couldn't stop thinking of these questions. It didn't matter what she seemed to do, it just wasn't working out for her and Syaoran.

O

O

O

O

After half an hour of preparing Sakura for the big night, she was finally ready. Her white and pink short skirt matched her blouse, along with her white nylons. She wore a wedding garter around her leg, and her neck. A ribbon in the shape of a sakura blossom was hooked into her hair for an extra look.

Sakura was prettier than ever, and ready for the night.

"You look so beautiful Sakura-Chan." Tomoyo humbled like every other time she saw Sakura in one of her cloths that she had made especially for her.

Though you (the readers) can't see her, she was cuter, and more beautiful than any other costume, or cloths she had ever worn before. She was like an angel from heaven.

Sakura walked over to the mirror and twirled around, examining herself. She seemed happy, but then the scene ran away as she sighed. Tomoyo walked over behind her frowned friend, and rubbed he shoulders, trying to cheer her up.

"What is the matter now?" Tomoyo asked, feeling now depressed, and feeling that there is nothing she can do.

"Noting." Sakura lied. She turned around and hugged her best friend Tomoyo to convince her that she was. "I love the cloths you made me, and wearing these always makes me happy, Tomoyo-Chan."

Tomoyo smiled at the sweet words Sakura said. But still felt that Sakura was sad deep inside, and yet, she was.

"Sakura-Chan."

"What is it?"

"While I was searching through your journal, I saw that you only have room for one more entry."

"Hoe?" Sakura sat on her bed and picked up her journal. She flipped to the very last page and saw that Tomoyo was right. She had been writing ever since the fourth grade and now only has one room left for one final entry. "Don't worry, I know what to write. It's going to be the one I will not forget too."

Sakura smiled at the blank page of her journal. In her expression she seemed happy, but deep, deep, deep in her, there was a face, and that face represented sadness. Not just any sadness. It would be sadness for both her, and Syaoran.

Picking up the suitcase, Tomoyo started walking out the bedroom door; she stopped, and turned to the beautiful Sakura. She smiled, never seeing Sakura so pretty in her life.

"Sakura-Chan, are you ready?" She asked.

Sakura turned around and smiled, "Hai!" Her sorrowness had disappeared. She felt great for herself. Maybe wearing Tomoyo's cloths really did help her feel happy.

She skipped towards Tomoyo, and they both exited the room downstairs to the main door. Ready for tonight.

Let's see how this goes.


a/n: I want to thank all of you for reading this. Please review!