Regret.
Such a small word with so much meaning.
Pain.
The excruciating feel of suffering.
And finally, anger. So many emotions were simmering through Ino's heart.
Why? Why did this have to happen? To Shikamaru, Choji and the others.
All because of one stupid power-crazed Uchiha. Sasuke, Ino grimaced. The name left a bitter taste in her mouth. He was the reason why she could often hear Tenten sobbing over Neji's hospital bed. He was the source of Sakura's lost smile and Naruto's dimmed morale. But most importantly, he was the cause of Shikamaru's trauma and Choji's critical condition. Ino recalled the way Choji was rushed to the hospital with so little chance of surviving. She remembered the heart wrenching fear that wracked her to her very core, terrified for the fragile life of her teammate. What she remembered so vividly the most, however, was Shikamaru's haunted eyes. Eyes that looked so defeated and empty. Her teammate's once lazy and sarcastic demeanor now felt like that of a tired war veteran.
Combined with the added stress of medical training and her recent bleak reflection of her second-rate abilities as a ninja, Ino was just about ready to let the emotional mask she acquired from the return of her boys escape from her. I can't keep this up forever. These thoughts are driving me insane. I need release.
And vent she did.
"I'm so stupid. Damn it, damn it, damn it! Why am I never able to support them? Am I not a strong enough kunoichi? " Ino slammed her fist into the practice dummy at a training ground near the hospital. She screamed, punched, and cried herself to exhaustion. She was so caught up in self-pity that she almost missed the blood spurting out of her knuckles from harsh use. Shit, now I'm gonna be a bloody mess and a ninja failure.
Ino put her back to the ruined practice dummy and slid down to the ground, all the while trying her best to contain the sobs threatening to break loose from her lips.
Ever since the return of the Sasuke Retrieval Team, Ino made sure to spend most of her time catering to the needs of her teammates. The only reason she ever left them now was because both Shikamaru and Choji's mothers routinely ordered her to get some rest, promising that they would take care of their sons in her place. But Ino usually declined their offer to leave because she knew. Deep down, she knew that she couldn't do anything else for her precious duo.
Useless, useless, useless…
Even now, knowing that they were going to be okay in Lady Tsunade's medical care still left her worried. The sorrow and regret she felt for not being strong enough to take care of her boys twisted into a thick knot at the pit of her stomach. So she sought out the most peaceful place she knew. Ino picked herself up and made quick work of her knuckles with her mediocre medical ninjutsu.
A few minutes later, Ino was able to drag herself into her mother's flower shop. She wasted away the rest of the day miserably rearranging flowers and bouquets. All the while cursing the Uchiha's existence, and she dimly acknowledged the fact that she no longer referred to the traitor with an honorific. How could she? Especially after all he's done to the Konoha 11.
That bastard. I'll kill him. How dare he? Wasn't he a comrade of the Hidden Leaf? How could he turn his back on his allies like that? Even going as far as to put some of them in intensive care just for some stupid undeserved power. Neji, Kiba, Akamaru, Lee, Naruto, Choji and Shikamaru. If only I was strong enough to go! How-
A distant crunch snapped Ino out of her reverie. She paused and looked down at her hands where she unconsciously crushed one of the flowers she was arranging. The gladiolus flower. Strength? She blinked. She brought the severed flower petals closer and sat staring at it for a while when an abrupt thought suddenly hit her.
"Oh," Ino realized, leaning against the counter while inching the crushed blossoms nearer to her chest and closing her eyes. "Oh."
The gladiolus flower represented strength in character. Strength, determination, and resolve. All of which she was lacking. In her entire shinobi career, Ino's prided herself in being her year's best kunoichi when she was most likely the worst. She's deluded herself with encouraging thoughts and an arrogant, sometimes bossy, attitude. The realization could not have hit her any harder. If she was strong, she could have accompanied her comrades and prevented the more serious injuries they sustained with physical backup. If she was determined and possessed a firm resolve, then her mindset would have been calm and steady enough for her medical ninjutsu to surpass the conventional state it was ranked as. Her clan's signature mind techniques would have been more effective as well. She could be a real ninja and an asset, not the useless bark-but-no-bite style that she blindly thought of as true power. To Ino, the world was suddenly so clear.
I know what I have to do.
Ino opened her eyes and laid the petals on the counter of her family's flower store. She promptly set to work on gathering her ninja tools and closing up the flower shop as fast as she could.
I'm not gonna be useless anymore. I will be a remembered kunoichi and I will not be left behind once more. I'll be damned if Shikamaru and Choji are hurt like this again. I'll make sure that they know they can depend on me. And that bastard Sasuke better watch his back. He's not the only one who's determined to gain power. Not anymore.
With those thoughts in mind, Ino began her trek to Team 10's customary training ground, the moonlight illuminating her path and guiding her on as a silent companion.
AN:
Whew! Finally, I gained the courage to share my writing. I know, I know. It was an okay fanfic, and a small one too! I'm willing to improve. Consider this just as my start. Thanks for reading! Any constructive criticism is welcomed. Thanks!
