HI! So this is another fanfic, except on Avatar, and will hopefully make up for the lack of funny right now in my other story.
Disclaimer: I do not own Avatar: The Last Airbender, or anything in it.
Note: this fanfic is really... odd... so bear with me please...
Enjoy!
Tales of an Epic Flowerbender—Chapter 1
The Almighty Flowerbender… Wait, What?
"Hyaaah! Eat flowers fathead!"
The numskull had an incredulous look on his face when a bouquet of flowers appeared in his mouth. "What, never heard of a flowerbender? Well, then, you should be afraid, very afraid." With the intoxicating aroma of the flowers, the man started stumbling around with an idiotic grin on his face while laughing in an absurdly crazy fashion, and it looked like he was totally wasted.
Well, technically, he was drunk, but that was beside the point.
You know, I'd bet good money all you readers are all WTF is this? Flowerbending? Weeelll, yeah… just wait, all your questions will be answered in time.
Anyway, my name is Hana Tsukimori and I am 16 years old. I'm about average in both size and weight, and I have short and choppy reddish-brown hair with bright emerald green eyes. I absolutely LOVE to party, am a graceful klutz (try to make sense of that), love melted chocolate ice cream, and well, ah, I kinda sorta get drunk off my flowers... Oh, sweet Agni, please forget I said that.
Okay... on to other news! As to the whole flowers-in-mouth deal, I am an epically awesome flowerbender. And yes, I said flowerbender. I'm also a psychic because I know you're probably all still like WTF is this chick on crack but I swear, I'm not on crack- I'm on flowers…
*sigh* Okay, please hold the comments and weird looks for a moment while I explain. Thank you. Now, I'll start from the beginning (which I probably should have done right off the bat, but oh well) and please, just bear with me.
"Hana, get your butt up here!"
Ugh. That screaming banshee was Yin Kobayashi, my pretentious, arrogant, and superior cousin. However, I refused to admit to anyone that we were actually related. Ugh again. Really, it's not that bad because I'm almost positive she does the exact same thing to me. Everyone hated her; with her model good looks, she was just too perfect and coupled with her completely self-absorbed attitude, she was unbearable. Yin was constantly blowing her maroon hair out of her eyes, which were a steely gray color that matched her cold personality as she looked over everyone with her trademark disgusted and disdainful look.
"You know what today is, or did that escape your tiny little pea brain. You're the freaking prodigy, right? She spat the word out as if it were poison on her tongue.
"I'm not an idiot, despite what you may think, Rhino." She earned this nickname because of her majorly annoying habit of blowing her hair out of her face using her nostrils. If anything, I never give out untrue nicknames.
"Why you just shut up now and move your butt right now!"
Haha. Now she's really mad. When she gets like this I call her Rampaging Rhino, because then she starts hyperventilating through her nostrils, gets a really red face, and looks like, well, a Rampaging Rhino.
"Oh no, Rhino's in rampage mode now. Scary. What's with you coming up to get me anyway? Did you upset Sensei?" Yin and I, as well as a dozen or so other girls lived at the Academy. The old man taught up perfect firebending forms, but no one actually got to bend fire until today. And because some random oracle lady said I would be a firebending prodigy at birth, everyone expects me to be amazingly powerful or something. Like I care—I just wan't to live in peace, but apparently, that's not an option.
"You are such a little spoiled brat, Hana!" Rhino had an extremely peeved look on her face as I started cracking up at the thought of me being the spoiled brat her. "Sensei is gonna be pissed at you if you don't get moving. You're supposed to show everyone how enourmously powerful, remember? Tch—whatever. I give up. You're not worth it anyway."
Whith that, she turned on her heel and slammed the door loudly on her way out. Did you see that? Beautiful shot of the rare extremely snobby drama queen species. Beautiful.
I figured I might as well get dressed; no use giving the Sensei another excuse to yeall at me. I dressed in casual clothes and walked down to the training room. What's the fun in doing everything like you're supposed to do, anyway? I threw the doors open and paraded in, making a trumpet impersonation. "There's no need to fear, Hana Tsukimori is here!"
A couple hundred eyes swiveled to fix themselves on me as I grinned a mischievous and pleased grin. I was a notorious troublemaker, but for some unexplainable reason, the head honchos at the Acadamy tried not to let that little tidbit of information slip out.
With everyone's attention fixed firmly on me, I prepared to do my kick ass Dragon Dance firebending technique. I executed the steps flawlessly.
Except with one tiny complication.
Instead of flames sprouting from my hands, and multitude of flowers sprung up in fron of me, flower petals drifting through the air like confetti. Oh, sweet Agni. "What in the hell is going on here?" Sensei and I screamed at the ame time. Then, I calmed down considerably.
"Haha, I get to poke you!" As I did so, I could literally see a wein popping in his forehead as his face turned an utterly disgusting shade of purple. "Yo, old man Sensei, you ok—" I broke off I hilarity-induced schock as he toppled over backwards.
"OMFG I'M FINALLY FREE!" I screamed at the top of my lungs. I jumped around in a super hyper and jumpy happy dance singing, "free, free, free." People started rushing over to help the collapsed dude and the whole scene was pretty comical.
That was, until Bunkichi, head hancho and eternal party pooper/ grumpo, came storming over, even looking like an extremely pissed off stormcloud.
I danced my happy dancing self over to him. "Hey buddy Stormy! Come, on happy dance with me!" I then proceded to happy dance around him, waiting for him to join me.
"Wh… What… What the hell is… WRONG WITH YOU? First you barge into the room like some… some… some backwards barbarian. Then you, our p-prodigy, can't pull off a simple fire technique. Instead, you make f-FLOWERS?"
I stooped in front of him and leaned up to peer into his chubby-as-heck face. He was having some major issues with speaking. Stormy was at such an incredibly, unheard-of level of pissed off, and had such a purely hilarious expression on his face that I couldn't help myself. I collapsed to my knees in the laughing fit of the century.
As soon as I could pause long enough, I said, "Look, buddy, I know you're having some sort of, like, apoplectic fit here… so, uh… *erupts in another laughing fit* I'll just be going know…" I managed to throw a dazzling smile for maximum effect in between convulsions.
It seemed he was capable of words now. "Oh nononononono. Hehe, you're most definitely not staying here."
I was moderately freaked out now. He had this truly insane look and my eyes widened considerably. "I'm going to sell you to the service of Fire Lord Zuko with the palace, and you can use your newly acquired skill—" Bunkichi spat the word out like a curse. "—to make sweet little bouquets for the palace. I'm sure they'll value your contribution." He hissed the words out, sarcasm dripping off his tongue like honey, though I wasn't even close to being scared now. Was he serious? Oh no, the palace. I'm going to dieeeeee.
*erupts into another laughing fit* "Oh please, Grandpa Stormy. If you are attempting to frighten me you are failing. Miserably. Epically. Poor thing, you must have been abused as child. That would certainly explain your utterly atrocious temper. Oh, and by the way, you might want to know that you look like a blushing tomato right now. Seriously, I would suggest you calm down before you end up like the old man." I pointed to where Sensei lay unconscious. Honestly, I swear I could see steam coming out of Stormy's ears, further adding to the impression that he was going to explode. Of course, this made me break out into a whole new laughing fit.
Well, apparently that did it. "You..you—" Great. We were back to Bunkichi not being able to talk. *sigh* "GUARDS! Take her the hell away right this minute! I don't care how much damn money you get for her—just take her OUT!" Hey, just out of curiosity, did anyone else notice how absolutely loud he is? I mean, even through words, he's just... Geez...
As the guards stepped forth and took my arms, I grinned up at the two up them and said with a grin, "You know, it really must suck to be you, working for an insane psychopathic Storm Cloud like him."
At that, Stormy let out an ear-piercing screech/yell. I looked up again at the two stoic men. "Wow, you're employer sure is manly, huh? A girly scream like that could possibly send the whole world onto their knees in terror."
Sadly, Stormy Bunkchi was out of hearing distance or I'm sure he would have destroyed the entire building with his firebending, gone to the land of the dead, brought me back to life, tortured me, and killed me again. And again. And again. In fact, I'm surprised he hadn't already. He has more self-control than I thought.
Ah well. New job, new home, pissed off man, collapsed man, all in a good day's work.
Yay! I don't know about you, but I liked that one. Please review to let me know what you thought, I'm new at this, so any advice is valued.
Bye for now until i update!
