Chapter 1
I like the smell of dirt.
But my mom's the weird one. She craves the smell of exhaust fumes. I blame her for my weirdness.
"Mitchie… Mitch. Mitchie? Hello?"
I snap out of my daze and look over at my friend who had been calling my name.
"Sorry," I apologize.
"Get out of Lala Land and help me with this," Caitlyn says, tossing me a sponge.
I catch it and it splashes soapy water all over me. I gasp at the coldness and yell, "You bitch!"
Caitlyn shrugs. "We're at a carwash."
I guess that would explain why I'm holding a garden hose and wearing a bathing suit. And why there are a bunch of cars lined up in our church's parking lot.
I start soaping up a car and look over to the left. That's when I see him – Shane Gray. He walked right past me and smiled. I. Just. Died. Inside. Shane is the most gorgeous thing ever. He's cute, sweet, considerate and… cute.
In my wildest fantasies, I see myself sitting in a big pile of dirt eating hotdogs with Shane Gray. Dirt. Hotdogs. Shane. Three of my favorite things. Oh, if only that could come true! Too bad he's three years older than me. He's not in my church class.
I sigh when I realize that he won't be going to Boston with us. That's why we're doing a carwash – to raise money for our church class's trip to Boston. If he was going to Boston with us, it would be a whole week of just looking at his hottie-ness and talking to him and–
Cold!
I whip around and see Caitlyn spraying me with a hose. "What the hell are you doing?" she asks. I turn and watch Shane walk into the church building. She watches him as well and then looks back over at me. "Shane?"
I nod.
"He's hot, but he has a girlfriend," she informs me and starts drying the car with a towel.
"I know," I say sadly and help Caitlyn with the car.
"Of two years," she continues. "Long term. They're serious."
"Thank you so much for tearing out my heart and ripping it up into shreds," I tell her sarcastically.
"Why don't you go after someone our age? Like someone in our class. Like Nate Gray. They're brothers; they look exactly the same… ish."
I look over at Nate, who was at the moment throwing a sponge at our friend Brian and laughing.
"I don't know," I say, shaking my head. "I mean, he's a tad immature."
We both look over at him and he has his hands on his chest, his shirt rolled up into a "Hit Me Baby One More Time" outfit, hollering out, "TITTIES!!!!"
"Okay, really immature," I correct myself and throw my sponge back into the bucket.
"Well you never know," Caitlyn starts, standing up. "I mean, he may just be the sweetest, kindest, most mature gentleman in the whole church."
I raise my eyebrows. "Are we thinking of the same Nate here? My dog's more mature than him."
We look back over him. He's rubbing himself up against the car making – what appears to be – sex noises.
"Okay, so maybe he's not as mature as I thought," Caitlyn says. She shakes her head. "It doesn't matter. I mean, some of the other boys in our class are pretty hot."
Being the only two girls in a class of seven, Caitlyn and I have our pick of any guy. We could get immature Nate, gentle giant John, show-offy Scott, silly Brian, or Debbie-downer Deven.
"I don't know," I say. "I mean, I only really like Shane."
Caitlyn sighs. "Yeah, me too."
"Bitch, I saw him first," I tease.
"Nuh-huh!"
"Yeah-huh! I went to this church way before you did! I've always thought he was a Hottie McHot Pants."
"Hottie McHot Pants?" she laughs.
I hit her lightly. "Shut up."
"Hey, I'm not the one who called Shane a 'Hottie McHot Pants.'"
"Well you were thinking of it."
"Uhhh, actually I wasn't."
"Yes you were!"
"No I wasn't!"
"Yes you were!"
"No I-"
We get cut off when Nate comes over and dumps a whole bucket of soapy water on us. Caitlyn and I scream and Nate and Brian high five.
Caitlyn scoffs. "I can't believe you just did that!" She starts beating the two boys with a towel, shouting, "You assholes!"
I stand there and try to get the soap out of my hair with the hose. Caitlyn's a little more aggressive than I am…
After Caitlyn had her revenge on the boys, she storms back over to me and grumbles, "Bastards." She takes a dry towel and wraps it around her head. "I was attempting to keep my hair dry, but I guess that can never happen with those two around."
Ugh, Nate. He seems to ruin everything. Like in second grade when he stepped on my painting of a chalice and ruined it. Jerk.
When we finish washing all the cars, we dry off and then go into the church and grab a box of donuts from the kitchen. Hey, we earned them. Even if they weren't ours. The person who owned them would just have to get over it.
Caitlyn and I leaned up against the counter as we munched on our breakfast.
"You know," Caitlyn starts with her mouth full of food, "I actually think Nate's pretty hot. I mean, sure he's a real asshole, but I've seen him be sweet before."
"You saw him doing an act of kindness?" I ask.
She nods. "He gave me the good beanbag last week."
"The pink one?" The pink beanbag is the only beanbag in our whole entire classroom that doesn't have a hole in it.
"Yup."
"Well maybe he gave it to you because he hates the color pink. And he doesn't want anyone to find out he's actually gay."
"No. He gave it to me because he likes me."
"Nate? Likes you? Okay Ms. Nate's So In Love With Me So He Poured Soapy Water All Over Me This Morning While It Was Like Fifty Degrees Out."
"Boys do mean things to you when they like you."
"No they do not! Shane has never done anything mean to me!"
"Well that's because you and Shane are never gonna happen!"
"Well one day, Shane and I will be sitting on a big pile of dirt eating hotdogs together and you're gonna stand there and be like, 'oh, shit, they really were meant to be!'"
Caitlyn stares straight ahead at the door.
"What do you say about that?" I ask, folding my arms. "Hmmm?"
"Why are you eating my donuts?" I hear a voice.
Shane.
I look over and see him in the doorway. He starts walking towards me.
Shit, did he hear everything I said about the dirt and the hotdogs?
I feel my face get hot and I stutter. "Oh, these are your donuts?"
Shane nods. He takes the pink box from me. "You ate all of them?" He seems crushed. Hurt, even.
"I'm sorry, Shane, I didn't know these were your donuts!"
He points to the paper on the top of the box that says, "Property of Shane. Do not eat."
"Oh," I say, looking down at the ground. "My bad."
Shane sighs. "I mean… it's okay. I was gonna surprise my girlfriend with them, but…"
I have never felt like such a bitch ever in my entire life before.
"I'm sorry, I'm so so sorry!" I apologize profusely.
"It's okay…" he trails off.
"Shane, sweetie!"
Right when I heard that voice, I knew it was his girlfriend, Tess. She's wearing a pink tiara that reads, "It's My Birthday!"
Fuck. It's her birthday. Of course, that's why Shane got her pink donuts in a pink box. Her favorite color and her favorite food.
Tess walks over to Shane, smiling. "Donuts? For me?" She kisses him on the cheek. "Aww, you're so sweet!" She opens the box and her smile fades. "Shane, it's empty."
Shane nods. "I know."
"Why is it empty?" she asks, throwing it on the counter next to me. She turns to Caitlyn and me and smiles. "Hi Caitlyn! Hi Mitchie!" Then she puts on her angry face and turns to Shane again. "Okay, really, Shane? An empty donut box for my birthday?"
Shane looks over at us and then back at her. And back and forth.
Is he gonna rat us out? Is he gonna take the blame?
"I'm so sorry, Tess," he apologizes. "I got you these donuts for your birthday, but I came here and they were all gone!"
"Who ate them?" Tess asks, looking around for the culprit.
Shane shrugs. "I have no clue!"
"Someone came in here and just ate a whole box of donuts?" she asks, suspiciously.
"Hey," Shane pulls her into a hug, "how about we go out to eat? You pick where."
She smiles. "Okay!"
The two leave and Shane turns his head, only to give us a dirty look.
My heart stopped beating. Great, now he hates me.
Caitlyn and I exchange glances.
"Wow, I feel like a bitch," she says.
I nod in agreement.
"Caitlyn! Mitchie!" Caitlyn's dad called our names from the hallway.
"Coming!" we both said at the same time and hopped off the counter. We walk out of the kitchen and over to him.
"Ready to go?" he asked.
We nod and head out to Caitlyn's car. Her dad drops us both off at my house and we go inside.
"I'm home!" I call out to my parents. I see my dog, Aleksandr, lying in his bed.
"Hi Aleksandr!" Caitlyn says and pats the top of his head.
I head into the kitchen and Caitlyn follows me. I get out some dog treats and Caitlyn's eyes widen. "YOU HAVE A DOG?!" she exclaims, shocked and in disbelief.
I look at her like she's crazy. (Which she is.) "Yes…? Question mark?"
"Oh, yeah, I forgot!"
"But you just said hi to him!"
"I know, I forgot!"
I pat her on her head. "It's okay, we'll get you help." I call for my dog. "Aleksandr! Come here, you little son of a bitch!"
Caitlyn gasps as if she had a great epiphany. "He is a son of a bitch!"
Aleksandr hobbles into the kitchen, wagging his adorable little spotted Dalmatian tail. I toss him the treat and he walks away to eat it in the dining room.
"I am SO glad we don't have school tomorrow," I say, grabbing a bag of popcorn and putting it in the microwave.
My friend nods. "Deff."
"Deff?"
"Yeah. It's short for definitely. Like… Bee tee dubs, that's deff cool."
"What?!"
"Just, just, just… Go away."
