I haven't uploaded any stories for soooo long. UPDATE: This ISN'T a oneshot any more. I expect it will be about 4 or 5 chapters.

Note the reoccurring animal theme in this fanfic. People's savage nature.

WARNING: HEAVY SLASH :)

Not completed!!

This is a REALLY strange idea for a gift, and rather unbelievable, but stay with me here.

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Lyrics'Animals' by Nickleback

I, I'm driving black on black
Just got my license back
I got this feeling in my veins this train is coming off the track
I'll ask polite if the devil needs a ride
Because the angel on my right ain't hanging out with me tonight
I'm driving past your house while you were sneaking out
I got the car door opened up so you can jump in on the run
Your mom don't know that you were missing
She'd be pissed if she could see the parts of you that I've been kissing
Screamin'

CHORUS
No, we're never gonna quit
Ain't nothing wrong with it
Just acting like we're animals
No, no matter where we go
'Cause everybody knows
We're just a couple of animals

So come on baby, get in
Get in, just get in
Check out the trouble we're in

You're beside me on the seat
Got your hand between my kneesAnd you control how fast we go by just how hard you wanna squeeze
It's hard to steer when you're breathing in my ear
But I got both hands on the wheel while you got both hands on my gears
By now, no doubt that we were heading south
I guess nobody ever taught her not to speak with a full mouth
'Cause this was it, like flicking on a switch
It felt so good I almost drove into the ditch
I'm screamin'

CHORUS

So come on baby, get in
Get in, just get in
Look at the trouble we're in

We were parked out by the tracks
We're sitting in the back
And we just started getting busy
When she whispered "what was that?"
The wind, I think 'cause no one else knows where we are
And that was when she started screamin'
"That's my dad outside the car!"
Oh please, the keys, they're not in the ignition
Must have wound up on the floor while
we were switching our positions
I guess they knew that she was missing
As I tried to tell her dad it was her mouth that I was kissing
Screamin'

CHORUS

So come on baby, get in
We're just a couple of animals
Get in, just get in
Ain't nothing wrong with it
Check out the trouble we're in
Get in, just get in

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There was always something about him. The way he attracted people, his good looks, his charm, his lope. Rumors about him spread like an epidemic. Clouding the air around him like a craved toxin. Everyone wanted a part of this magic. The sex. His was sweaty, hands groping, clawing. Legs and tongues entangled. Stifled moans. All of it.

He had never loved anyone longer than a night. He had to keep on, doing what, he wasn't sure. Maybe that's why he was so irresistible. No one seemed to avoid his savage charm. No one was lucky enough to be pursued by Kenny McCormick, at least not for long.

But, now, there was maybe one person he was intent on. One he was sure he loved. More than just a casual hookup. Yes, he was sure he loved her. Now, if only she'd love him. But she was different, not like the other girls that gaggled around him. No, she was studious, intelligent and just, different. Wendy Testaburger was beautiful. Black hair spilling over her thin shoulders like liquid from a vase. Her eyes were a piercing, static blue, kind of like his own.

It was the first time in his entire 17 years of life, that Kenny McCormick was unsure of how to get a girl. It seemed unlikely, maybe impossible to take her for his own, but he was determined. And anyway, no ever escaped him. Kenny McCormick always had a plan.

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Wendy gathered her books as the bell rang, taking a few minutes to say bye to friends and class mates. As usual she met Stan, Kyle and Kenny out in front of the school building. The three handsome boys always stood there, waiting for her and anyone else who was to be joining them. Students would stop to talk to the popular group under the snow capped fir tree, girls sliding up to one of the guys, begging for a slight touch. But they weren't interested. Stan only had eyes for Kyle, and Kyle for Stan. But no one knew that, besides the four of them. And Kenny only wanted Wendy. No one knew that. Except him.

Wendy jogged up to the boys, nodding in greeting to Craig and Clyde, who stood with them today.

"Hey Wends." Stan smiled, enfolding her in a friendly hug. Wendy could feel the eyes of lurking females digging into her back. Stan didn't seem to notice.

Wendy greeted Kyle and Kenny warmly, set her bag down and pulled a hat over her head.

"Bebe isn't coming today. She broke a window in her drawing class and Mr. Sage is making her stay late to scrub the floors." Wendy informed them.

Kyle rolled his jade-green eyes.

"How the hell did she manage to do that?" Stan asked, frowning.

Wendy shrugged. "I heard it from Red."

"Awww...Red's a liar." Kenny drawled. Wendy elbowed him.

"Since when have you known her?"

"Lemme guess... Friday night?" Kyle asked, only half joking.

"Close enough." Kenny grinned.

Kyle made a face. "Do you have any self control?"

"And you do, Ky?" Kenny purred, using Stan's nickname for his boyfriend.

Wendy couldn't help but giggle. Stan, standing next to her even laughed a little, easily covering up the real situation.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Clyde inquired, grinning at Kyle, he winked.

"Never mind" Stan replied cooly. Craig tried to read their expressions, searching for a hint as to Kyle's desire. He found none, and, disappointed, changed the subject.

"The last practice before the big game is Monday, huh?"

Stan nodded. "Coach'll work us 'till we're dead."

Kenny leaned against the pine. "No need to worry. We'll kick ass. Like always."

A pine needle landed in his golden hair, and Wendy reached up to pluck it out, conveniently poking him in his eye in the process. Kenny yelped in surprise, but recovered quickly, and scooping up a fistful of snow, hurled it at Wendy's face.

"Hey! It was an accident!" She protested. "I swear..." Wendy didn't hesitate, but picked up her own handful of snow and aimed at Kenny's head. It hit with a soft smack. Wendy threw her head back, laughing, snow clinging to her black hair.

"Your makeup's running." Stan laughed, pointing at her wet, snowy face.Wendy grabbed Kyle's hat off his head, fully exposing the rough, reddish/brown hair that had been leaking out. She wiped the smeared makeup off her face, and tossed Kyle's hat back at him.

"You stinking bitch!" Kyle growled, playfully grabbing her around the waist and throwing her over his shoulder. Wendy screamed, and clawed at the boy's back. Kyle flipped her into the snow.

"You're a JERK..." she groaned. "I think you broke my back." Stan pulled her up, off the jumbled snow.

"Kyle you're going to get it! Watch your back." Wendy snarled, playfully pushing him.

Craig and Clyde stood awkwardly on the edge of the group, watching the roughhousing beauties. Something flashed in Craig's mind; the vibrant plumes of popularity molted themselves, and in their place was a primitive dominance. An animalistic desire. The moment passed and he shook his head, wishing so deeply to be a more prominent part of this caste.

Craig idly toyed with the dainty webs of frost that clung to the pine needles, lost in thought. Next to him, Clyde cleared his throat, toe drawing lines in the snow. "I guess we'll see ya guys later." he said. He looked at his feet as if he were ashamed of leaving.

Stan nodded at them. "Later, dudes."

He turned back to the group. "We get to walk home, just the four of us, I guess."

"For once" Kenny breathed "I get so of those kids who trail behind, and lurk around. It's so fucking annoying!"

"Don't be mean, Kenny!" Kyle mocked him.

Kenny pulled Wendy up off the snow where she had been lying, laughing, her breath making itself present in the air.

"Get on." he ordered, bending down so she could get on his back. Wendy gratefully hopped on, wrapping her arms around his strong neck. As he carried her, she had to remind herself that he was just a friend. Still, she couldn't help but feel the tremors of excitement that jolted through her body, shaking her up.

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Wendy yawned, finding herself drowning in the restful fatigue of sleep. The rhythmic rise and fall of Kenny's hips lulled her. The guys droned on about their various friends and peers, their speech a distant beacon beyond her eyelids. She dropped her head onto Kenny's shoulder, then lifted it quickly, hoping that he hadn't noticed. Just a friend! She thought, mentally slapping herself.

Wendy's house was the first one to be reached on these walks. Kenny carried her right past the front walk though, grinning. "You're not getting down." He taunted.

Wendy smiled to herself. There was an obvious solution to this problem.

Kenny took a sharp intake of breath and fell to the ground, hands over his crotch. Kyle and Stan burst out laughing as Wendy brushed herself off, hitched her bag higher over her shoulder, and stepped over the whimpering boy.

"I'll see you guys later!" Wendy smiled before unlocking the door to her house.

She dropped her bag by the door and took the stairs two at a time. She grabbed her phone and fell back on her bed, hitting speed dial.

"It's time."

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The video had been an in-genius idea. Stan's birthday was coming up, and Wendy had had the perfect idea for a gift. She and Bebe had been carefully working on it all year.

They were making a movie of Stan and Kyle's relationship. It was a fictional story, made up of real video clips of the couple, and tonight they were filming the infamous finale- the sex scene. All they had to do was sneak into Stan's house where Kyle was spending the night, and film the magic. When the filming was over Bebe was staying over at Wendy's house so they could work on the soundtrack.

Wendy knew this was kind of wrong, but Stan would thank her for it. She knew he would. She had no doubt in her mind that the minute Stan's parents were asleep, he and Kyle would not be able to keep their hands off each other.

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The reason they weren't just setting up a hidden camera made sense. Who knew if Stan and Kyle would move out of the frame? Besides, the quality would be superb if they could move, zoom, and focus. Maybe they were insane. Maybe they had mental problems. Whatever the reason they were doing it, and Wendy knew I her heart of hearts that Stan would treasure it. They hadn't come this what for nothing, had they?

Wendy went to her desk and turned on her computer. She opened iTunes, and started to work on the soundtrack, downloading like crazy. She quickly compiled a rough list:

Opening/title: Exhibit of the Year by Down to Earth Approach

Scene One (content): Alive with the Glory by Say Anything

Scene Two (rage): When Your Heart Stops Beating by (+44)

Scene Three (fight): Error Operator by Taking Back Sunday

Scene Four (depression): Hate Me by Blue October

Scene Five (makeup): I Can't Hate You Anymore by Nick Lachey

Scene Six (sex): Crazy Bitch by Buckcherry

Credits: Animals by Nickel Back

She smiled to herself as she worked. This would be the greatest gift ever. A rap on the front door drew her from her task.

Wendy let Bebe in, and the two girls excitedly worked on their little project. "This will be so hot." Bebe gushed.

"I know!" Wendy giggled. "I mean, they're my best friends, but they're just so hot."

"Man, if only Kenny would be with them. He's so delicious!" Bebe laughed as she typed out the long list of credits on her laptop. Wendy nodded as she sipped her cappuccino. She could still feel his body beneath her, his strong, but gentle grip. She shook her head, and parried from the feeling that had overcome her.

She turned to Bebe.

"Okay, here's the plan. Stan's parents go to bed at 10:00, so he and Kyle will wait until, at least, 10:15 before sneaking downstairs."

"Downstairs?" Bebe interrupted.

"I know they'll be downstairs because Stan's bedroom is next to his parent's and the walls in their house are paper-thin. We'll videotape them from around the corner, where they won't notice us. I've already put tape over any lights on the camcorder. After we get a good amount of footage, we turn around and leave through the backdoor. I know where they hide the key, so it'll be easy to get in too. We should be set up over there at...About 10:05." Wendy explained.

"And...Wow...If that doesn't work and they catch us?" Bebe frowned.

"That's what these are for." Wendy grinned, pulling two small spray bottles out of the desk drawer. Wendy held the first one up, a clear liquid filled it, which she shook in front of Bebe's face.

"Vodka. I know Randy keeps a cabinet of Smirnoff in the basement. If they find us, we can spray them, and no one will believe that we were there. Stan and Kyle might even think that they were drunk."

Wendy giggled. She set the first bottle on the desk and held up the second.

"Pepper spray. It'll blind them for a minute. It's mild."

Wendy sighed. "I doubt we'll need either of these. I'd feel too bad spraying these on my best friends anyways."

Bebe nodded. "I think Stan will forgive us for all this when he sees the movie."

"Yeah." Wendy put the two bottles in a small black bag. "I hope so. I love those guys so much."

Bebe leaned over and hugged her friend. "Don't worry, they'll love it. I promise."