A/N KathaGER this is for you. Thank you for the support.

Hey folks, I am back. Kind of. Still struggling with time but I needed to write something. Desperately. And so I thought that maybeee little fic would help. Sorry for disappearing but the last well 15 moths were horrible. Almost losing my mother to acute leukemia, finding out I was pregnant just few days after she almost lost her fight, having some issues during the pregnancy, then my baby girl had complications after being born (thankfully it was not her heart but allergy to the cow's milk protein meaning very specific strict diet for me as this time I am breastfeeding) as well as I did after the C Section and as a cherry on the top of the cake - not even two months after giving birth my partner almost died in my arms due to ruptured aneurism nearby his spleen. Spending weeks at my parents place, visiting him in the ICU, then finding a way how to juggle everything once he was home... not so easy time...

Timeline - set after The First Commandement

Having no beta means all mistakes and typos are mine. I haven't used English in a very very long time... so let me know if you find something to correct!

This will be probably four chapters long. Sam/Jack of course.


Something was wrong. Something was very very wrong. Jack knew it. And sitting in his office, fingers tapping on the top of his desk, he was well aware of the fact that should it be about one of his men he would just go and take the guy out for a beer and darts to talk to him or to at least give him the window of opportunity to talk. BUT. But this was not about one of his men. This was about one particular woman. And he could no longer pretend nothing was happening. Well one part of him gladly would but Daniel and Teal'c wouldn't let him.

He would give anything for Sam being a man. Man in troubles after hard mission? That he could deal with. But a woman? Not so much. And yeah, should she hear him thinking like that she would kick his ass.

This morning Daniel came to him worried. He found him in the mess hall eating cake. It was Tuesday after all and on Tuesdays there was cake. He sat down in front of him with cup of coffee.

"Hey Jack!"

"Hey Daniel..."

And that was it. Then came silence. Daniel waited and waited but Jack did pretty well ignoring him. Jack knew that Daniel would tell him eventually what this was about. And soon...

"Have you seen Sam lately?"

"Carter?"

"Yes, Jack, Sam Carter. Have you seen her?"

"Nope, she's probably working on something in her lab." That got Daniel's attention. Jack also noticed the change in the air and looked up.

"Jack, Sam took some personal leave two days ago."

"What?"

"I know! It's strange... she barely left her lab in two weeks and then all of a sudden she left and no one has heard about her ever since."

"That's probably why it's called personal leave."

"Jack..." And there was warning in Daniel's tone.

"What do you want from me, Daniel?"

"I don't know, just ..."

"Just what?"

"I'm just worried about her. I mean..." And Daniel couldn't even finish. Jack looked at him and knew Daniel was right. But he honestly didn't even want to think about it...

The sound of Gate claxon stopped his line of thought.

And now he was sitting in his office and the conversation with Daniel kept on bugging him. Daniel couldn't have known what this whole thing meant for Jack. He had been in these situations before quite a few times. And it has taught him a few things. First, in this line of work it was better not to make friends. Second, if it happened and you actually made a friend then you would hurt badly. Always. He knew he had already broken his own first rule several times but being in the Black Ops required this sort of bond between men, well, sometimes. And mostly his second point had proved to be valid. It hurt.

Here it was similar. Working on Secret Base, travelling to other planets, never knowing if they were coming back through... He had to rely on his people as well as they had to rely on him. Absolute trust. Only that could help them accomplish their ultimate mission – saving Earth. Well except for the travelling to other planets part it was basically the same he had lived before. And yet it was different here. Here it was more personal.

He knew very well he felt responsibility for Daniel and his family. And it became something more. Daniel was like his younger brother. He cared for him in a way that was surprising even to himself.

His friendship with Teal'c was... well it was... damn he couldn't describe what it was. It was unique and silent and powerful. True.

He knew that some other team leaders felt the same – as some of those were the few of his friends truly knowing his past – and they had a few beers few couple of weeks ago. He wasn't the one to talk about his feelings and worries but just from the way those men talked about their teams they all could sense the change.

But there were only few women on the base. Except for nurses and kitchen staff, Carter had few female technicians and he could probably count the female members of SG teams on his fingers. It was uncharted territory.

He was the 2IC of the whole base. He was the team leader of flagship team. He was the one to set examples. He was the one to show them how things are done. And he was damn lost! How was he supposed to deal with this...?

The last two times he tried were... well how to put it? Well he tried and he didn't exactly fail but the way those last two times happened was so so so wrong. It could never happen again.

And here he was knowing he should go and try to talk to Carter and one part of him wanted to – the part that believed they were becoming friends and he was scared to admit it even to himself, but the other part wasn't so sure about this being a good idea. Perhaps Daniel could go and talk to her. Oh, well he knew that it would not turn out so well. Sam didn't need Daniel to tell her how things will be fine and that she was a good person and that she did everything right. No, she needed something else and he knew what it was. He just didn't trust his ability to make this right.

But his gut was telling him one thing – Samantha Carter was special. She was more than that. She was a person he could admire. She was someone whose friendship he would value. She was a person he could trust implicitly. He knew that. And should she be a man... he was back in the beginning. She was not a man. She was a woman. And he knew he would have to come to terms with the fact that it was not a bad thing in this case.

So, taking his jacket and car keys he left the base. He knew it was a bad idea, really, he knew. But if he wanted to make this team work he needed her. She was the key puzzle piece to hold them all together and functional. He had already figured that much. He only hoped this time it would go better than the last two times.

He drove over to her place. Her car was parked in front of the house. So gathering up his courage he went there and knocked. Then he rang the bell. And nothing. He tried looking into her windows but apparently she wasn't at home. And he probably should have just go back to his car and leave but Jack O'Neill was many things, coward was not one of them. So he waited for her to return home.