Thanks Kirstie for reading this over for me.


We're Us

"Remember when we fell into the mountain cave?" Parker asked Eliot quietly. He flinched because he'd been reading a magazine and didn't hear her come in. Naturally.

"Stop sneaking up on me," he warned. "Yeah? What about it?"

Parker looked around the office then sat down close to him. She was quiet, chewing on her lip. He could sense something was bothering her so he closed the magazine and waited patiently. She opened her mouth to speak then quickly closed it, glancing at him and then away. Eliot was intrigued at this point.

Finally she said, "You said we were alike. You and me...we could do things that the others couldn't."

"Yes, I did say that." Eliot furrowed his brows, a little worried what she had done.

Suddenly she jolted up and began pacing in front of him, rambling on with a breath. "I've tried to talk to Sophie about it but she's all romantic and sappy and that's just not me. And I can't exactly go to Nate because that'd just be weird. And I don't really have anyone else. You've got lots of experience and so I was wondering if...you can..." Stopping in front of him at last, she looked at him nervously. "If you can tell me what it's like and what I should do. I mean...what's normal?"

Eliot tried to piece what she was asking him together. His eyes widening he stared at the wall for a moment. 'Oh God! She's coming to me for the talk?' He couldn't put her off like the sexting discussion. He remembered the end result of that. Parker didn't need to google 'sex' or who knows what she'd find. Sophie learned quickly and painfully not to pick up Hardison's phone when Parker tried sexting the first time.

"Well...Parker, it's...ah," he swallowed hard and taking her hands in his own brought her to sit on the table in front of him. "The first time, it might seem a little weird because there are all these...sensations and...depending on his experience..." Oh God his head was going to explode. "He might do things you don't know that's normal and you shouldn't panic. If you don't like something just tell him and I know he'll stop. If he doesn't, I'll break him in half."

"Eliot," Parker whispered and he glanced at her eyes to find amusement. "I'm not asking about sex. I'm asking about...the other thing. You know...love."

"Oh. Oh! Okay," Eliot's relief came out in a release of breath he didn't realize he was holding. "Love, well love is complicated. There is no normal with love. So I guess the normal is that its not normal."

"You're not helping."

"I realize that." He paused to think for a moment. "Okay, so you know how you love money? You love everything about it - the smell, the sight, the feel, everything. And you want to know all about it, touch it all the time and just be around it. It makes you feel excited and happy. And secure. But at the same time, you're worried what will happen if you lose it and you feel protective of it so nothing happens to it." He was doing pretty good. He could do this! "And so you want to hide it away and keep it secure but at the same time you want to play with it all the time. Wait...that's not what I meant." And here comes the epic failure. Parker was looking at him expectantly and Eliot had no idea how to explain love to her. He's already told Hardison he wasn't willing to talk to him about this relationship but clearly Parker needed someone to talk to that wasn't full of romantic notions like Sophie. Or worse, Sophie's new thing going on with Nate of Friends with Benefits.

"Ignore everything I just said. Let me start again." Parker nodded and waited. Eliot tried to form into words what love felt like. Finally he decided the only way was to be honest with her.

"Love is the most confusing feeling that you don't want to lose. Its terrifying. Facing a room full of armed men is less terrifying than falling in love. Because to be in love you have to lose control, surrender, and trust someone else. Because you can't have love without trust. And you're like me, you don't like to lose control and trust someone completely. But you'll have to, to fall in love. When you finally do, you're so happy you feel breathless at times. You go through every emotion known to man while you're in love but the most important thing is that you want to. You want to be right where you are, feeling all the emotions. You feel stronger because of them. Like when we became a team - we were stronger together than apart. And love is like that. You feel better when you're with that person than you do when you're not."

"I trust him...mostly. But there is always that doubt that I'm wrong for him. I'm not good enough for him," Parker admitted, glancing away. "He's so good. And well...I'm not."

Eliot took her hands into his own again and Parker's eyes met his. "Parker, you're learning to be good. You've come from a world where you weren't taught what was right and you always had to worry about yourself first. But since we first met, you've grown the most of all of us. Your heart and your ability to care about the client and about the team is obvious. Hardison sees that. Hardison loves that. He loves that you're flawed but you try. He doesn't see you as perfect. He sees you as perfect for him. But the only way this will work, the only way you can be in love with him is to trust him completely." Parker nodded and he saw a hint of tears in her eyes. Quietly he added, "You know I'd kill anyone who hurt you so you know I wouldn't tell you to trust Hardison if I wouldn't trust him not to hurt you."

Parker suddenly threw her arms around Eliot's neck and he squeezed her tightly. He didn't know when he became the expert on love or trust but apparently he learned enough about Parker to help her. Maybe someday he could do as she was about to do and fall in love again.