Renesmee's Point of view.
I shuddered, still wondering what he would think.
I had just turned seven, the time I would stop aging, looking like I was eighteen for the rest of my life. The thought of it slightly scared me, but I was looking forward to it. That was the time that Jacob, My Jacob, would officially becomemine. It was a lovely thought, having him as mine forever.
At least, until I met him.
I'd, of course, met him before. But tensions from the Volturi just one leap away combined with my young age hadn't caused me to pay much attention to him. I had met him once again at age five, and had been in touch ever since.
He was just like me, half vampire, half human. There were subtle differences in our structures, of course, such as how he was venomous, as I was not. He was also one hundred and fifty years older than me. Not that it mattered thatmuch to me. I found it only as a few years older, given my state of growth.
He had begun to appeal to me as I met with him once again, as I normally did at a certain spot. Mother didn't like me to go far, but she would always let me visit him. It was a given, her giving me what I wanted. I was irresistible to her.
Anyway, I had matured. I had begun to find beauty in the slight olive tone that colored his skin, so different from the paleness of my own hard skin. His wild hair was attractive on him, and I had found myself more than once dreaming of trying to run my fingers through it. He could make me laugh easily, and had comforted me before when I'd come to him, tears in my eyes, or how understanding he was and how well he listened. I'm very intelligent. I could understand what was happening. I was falling in love.
The problem was, I was falling in love with the wrong person.
And now, here I was, sitting next to him outside of my house, My Jacob, uncomfortable at how he was watching me. I knew he could tell something was wrong, he just couldn't figure out what.
"Nessie," he said, using the childhood nickname he had given me. "What's wrong?" I hesitated, unsure on how to handle this. Pausing for a moment, I gently touched his cheek, stroking it before 'telling' him what was on my mind. A picture of him. A picture of me. How happy I seemed to be with him. He smiled at that, but his smile slowly disappeared as I went on. The feeling of my heart being torn in two, from what I was told and had believed I wanted, to what I wanted.
I closed my eyes, not wanting to see his expression. Finally, I showed him one last picture. A picture of him. A low growl came from him, his wolfish side, and I felt his hand clasped around my wrist, ripping my hand away from his cheek. He was done.
"Him?" he snarled. I nodded, biting my lip, not opening my eyes. "But, you're supposed to be with me!" There was a certain type of sadness in his voice, thinly veiled in a layer of anger.
"Jacob, you mean… the world to me. But I want to have an actual choiceon who I love." I opened my eyes, staring into his. There was no hiding the hurt and betrayal in them now. "You belong with me. I love you, just, not enough, or in the same way. You are My Jacob, forever and always." To my surprise, he snorted, as if dismissing my words.
"You're more like your mother than I thought," he growled. I didn't have a clue what he was talking about, but I couldn't ask. He went on. "I knew imprinting was the worst thing to happen to me. Or is it love that's turned it's cold back to me?" My amazement furthered as I noticed his eyes beginning to water. "Thanks to it, I've lost all of the ones I've loved." I wanted to reach out, wanted to hug him, tell him it was all right. This was my fault. I had to fall in stupidlove with him, that beautiful boy who was just like me. My fault.
"First Bella, then you," I swallowed as he said Bella, my mother's name. He'd been in love with her? "And then… her." His eyes seemed to cloud at the 'her'. "That independent, beautiful girl. Wolf-girl. The only female werewolf." He was no longer speaking to me, rather to himself. I was confused beyond all belief. He covered his face with his hands. "I've lost her as well."
I was feeling pity well inside of me, and reached out my hand to stroke his cheek. He snarled and jerked away.
"Jac-" He didn't want to listen. In an instant he was taking off, and a moment later he had busted out of his clothes, a giant wolf in his place, racing away from me. I sighed, feeling wetness in my eyes.
I suddenly wanted to leave, run away from here. Find him, the one I truly did love. Without telling my mother or father I was leaving, I took off the opposite way. I wanted to find him fast, before my feelings of guilt got the better of me and I turned back to Jacob.
My gait was slower than a normal vampire, and I tripped a few times; I had apparently inherited the clumsiness of my mother they had told me she had before becoming a vampire. It was a long trip, but finally I made it to the forest I knew he would come to in mere moments. He knew my scent, and could find me within moments if I was near.
Right on time, he came skidding out into the clearing, beautiful face bright as he spotted me.
"Nessie!" he called, grinning. He'd picked up the nickname from my family and had used it ever since. Not willing enough to speak my greetings, I raced over to him, throwing my arms around his chest once I neared. He opened his mouth, probably to ask me what was wrong, but I touched his cheek, explaining the entire story. His eyes stared, unfocused, as images flashed through his head as if he'd lived through them. I tried to keep my personal feelings for him secret, but once I began to tell of My Jacob, I couldn't stop.
Once I pulled away, he looked down at me, mouth still slightly open.
"Ness…" Please, I prayed, let this have been for something, please let me not have thrown away the promising, though quite possibly unsatisfying, future I had with Jacob away, just for him to not like me the same way. I closed my eyes, not wanting to look into his.
I didn't realize I had stopped breathing until his hand cupped my chin, bringing me forward, and I took in a sharp breath. My heart pounded wildly as I felt his lips against mine, pure happiness as I realized he felt the same way. His hand tangled through my thick golden curls, and I wrapped my arms around his neck, bringing us closer.
We were both out of breath when we pulled apart.
"Ness…" he murmured, running a long finger across the side of my face. "What about Jacob?" I stopped breathing again.
What about Jacob? My Jacob? He was a part of me. I couldn't deny it. But, I couldn't be with him. I couldn't see him for a while either. He was heartbroken. I couldn't fix it without hurtig him more.
"My Jacob…" I sighed, pressing the side of my head to his chest, listening to his rapid heartbeat. I chose my words, saying them carefully. "He's not mine anymore."
I felt his arms wrap around me, and he kissed the top of my head in a way similar to what I'd seen my father do to my mother. It slightly comforted me. Another thought came to me mind.
"Jacob is not mine." I stated, almost whispering. He could hear me. "You are. I know you are. My Nahuel."
