Zim Looks For Batteries 3: The Cake Eating Robot From Beyond the Star
Invader Zim belongs to Jhonen Vasquez
There was too much to do to make this into a one shot, so it will be...2-3 chapters maybe.
I don't own Muppet's Treasure Island or any other Muppets films or anything from the Muppets franchise.
Xxx
"NO! NO!" Zim howled. "NO! NO! NO!"
He was on his knees, howling to the skies. Nearby, the mercenary ship Omni-Hunter lay in pieces.
"No! Not again! NOOOOO! Not again!" Zim wailed. "Why?"
CRASH!
Another ship crashed right next to the Omni-Hunter.
"Huh?"
Suddenly a hatch was pushed open and a purple eyed Irken just a little taller than Zim leaped out. "Zim! You crashed my ship! AGAIN?"
"Oh, you!" Zim paused. "You..." He blinked. "It's uh...Spock?"
"LOK!" Lok snapped. "What is so damn confusing about my name?"
"What name? You keep saying you're locking something!" Zim paused. "You can't lock me up! I've gotta go! My PAK! Mission! Life! Death!"
Moments later Dib, Gaz, and Tak got out of the wreckage along with a very happy Kay.
"That was fun!" Kay cheered.
"I can't feel my legs!" Dib groaned, and then saw Zim. "You! Zim!"
"Me! Zimmy!" Zim paused. "Dib-Monkey! This is your fault isn't it?"
"What is?" Dib asked, standing up.
"My PAK! Somebody stole it! AGAIN!" Zim shouted.
"You just got it back five minutes ago!" Lok said, astounded.
"I crashed, I was knocked out! Somebody stole it! I'm gonna die and I'll never even find out what you locked!" Zim was suddenly crying against Lok.
Lok twitched as he felt his shirt get wet. 'Is he...?' He wanted to hit Zim so hard that he'd feel it in an alternate universe, but part of him sympathized with the little Irken. He sighed. "Zim, stop crying on me."
"No! This thing is a good tissue-" Zim paused. "Wait...why am I not thinking less? I'm not moving slow...I'm not talking like Kirk-Human anymore. I'm...actually fine! How can this be? I need a PAK! The PAK holds everything! What's happening?"
"I think I have an idea," Suddenly Loe appeared next to them, making Zim and Lok jump with fright.
"Loe! How'd you do that?" Lok demanded.
"It's my power!" Loe said mysteriously, waving one hand. "To go unnoticed at key moments in a plot advancement!"
"..that makes no sense," Lok said.
"I know," Loe nodded. "Zim's gained high energy levels from his past adventures. The explosion at the Swollen Eye Ball HQ, and then channelling the energy of the sun into his Emergency PAK. Side effects include his body being charged with naturally occurring energy."
"No wonder I have electric and fire powers! I'm a genius!" Zim smirked.
"Be warned, that energy will eventually fade unless you keep it powered...so don't go wild with the fancy powers." Loe said.
"Right, no going wild with power. Must get more energy! Power! POWER!" Zim shouted.
"I need to get as far away from here as possible!" Tak declared, turning on her disguise and planning to make a run for it.
"Oh no you don't girlie!" Lok grabbed her by the back of her shirt collar. "If I'm getting dragged on another Zim Adventure, then so are you!"
"Why do you even have to go with him?" Gaz asked. "He's not exactly chained to you."
"Because the Tallest ordered me to keep an eye on him every time he loses his PAK!" Lok growled. "Now I have to call them and tell them he lost his PAK again so they can make all these bets! It's the only way I can pay for all the damage he caused to my ship!...wait ,where's my ship?" He saw a small crater where his ship had been lying. "...ZIM!"
"How'd he even make it fly so fast?" Dib asked. "It was in three pieces! And how'd he take off without us noticing!"
"I added the latest Stealth Tech to it, the Universal Mute Engines!" Kay said, a smile on her face.
"...Kay," Lok sighed.
"Yes boss?" Kay looked up with big, cute pink eyes and an equally cute smile.
"...damn, can't get mad at cuteness of that magnitude," Lok sighed. "Let's just find him and get off this rock."
Xxx
BANG-BANG-BANG-BANG-BANG-BANG-BANG-BANG-BANG!
Carlos opened his door. "Hello?"
"CARLOS-HUMAN!" Zim leaped on Carlos, shaking him by the shoulders. "I need you to help me fix my ship!"
"I don't know how to fix ships." Carlos blinked. "Go ask Kurt!"
"I also need advanced weapons of mass destruction that can cause lots of damage in the least amount of time!" Zim added.
"Oh then I have just the thing!" Carlos pulled Zim inside. "Come and see my Closet of Dreams!"
"...are you gay?" Zim asked...before Carlos opened a closet filled with massive weapons.
"Behold! My latest invention to be sold on the Alien Black Market!" Carlos held up an SUV sized laser gun. "The Disintegrator Mk V cannon, perfect for destroying entire armies of girl scouts and leaving their cookies intact." Carlos looked to a large pile of boxes of cookies nearby. "That last group had just started when they knocked on my door."
"Good! Good! Good! Ok, but what would they do against...killer asteroids, monstrous aliens, advanced fighters and war cruisers?" Zim asked.
"Oh they'd work great assuming the power source on your ship can handle it!" Carlos said. "And for that I introduce the Plasma Warhead powered Mk VI cannon! This baby can burn through six ships in one shot!" He held up a bus sized cannon which ended up tearing down part of the house just by pulling it out of the Closet.
The second floor began to crumble. And in the top floor, Carlos' dad, an evil cloaked figure with red eyes sat in a bath tub. He looked down at Carlos and Zim. "Carlos! You'd better not be tearing another hole to another universe!"
"I'm doing a job like you asked me to! And I said I was sorry!" Carlos said.
"Good! These are perfect Carlos!" Zim nodded. "What of engines?"
"You'd better ask Kurt, he's in charge of that part of KC Technical," Carlos shrugged.
"Ok, but seeing as how you work with him ,what would you recommend for travelling millions of light years in the least amount of time?" Zim asked.
"Well the Hyper space engines have three different modes l ready to be sold," Carlos said. "I offered President Bush them, but apparently he was more interested in the moon at the time instead of Alpha Centauri."
"Good! What are my options?" Zim asked.
"Well I can't sell you the same type you already have," Carlos walked out to where the Omni-Hunter was parked in his drive way and tapped the engines. "These short circuited a lot years ago and were brought off the market. But I do have three types of engines. Irken designed Boomer Engines, perfect for long jumps in short times, but not good for manoeuvring. The next one is made by the Vortians," Carlos pulled out a small disk that displayed an image of the sleek engines. "Not only are they good for hyper space and can jump you across the galaxy in a snap of the fingers, but they're fast in combat too! But you need a LOT of power for them. And the final one...oh this is good."
Carlos displayed a new set of engines. "I found these when I took Comrade Big Head's ship to Meekroob! Interdimensional Drives! You don't only go from one edge of the galaxy to the other in half an hour, it can take you to the Andromeda Galaxy in an hour!"
"Cool!" Zim's eyes were sparkling. "Why aren't these on the market?"
"They cost more than the Massive, that's why!" Carlos said. "And that took centuries to build! These added to any ship could make the Massive look like a Tricycle."
"How pricey is this?" Zim asked.
"Look." Carlos handed over a list.
"Well how can it be-HOLY MOTHER OF MIYUKI!" Zim shouted.
Xxx
In the afterlife, Miyuki looked up from the Poker Game she was playing with Spork.
"Did somebody take my name in vain?" Miyuki asked.
"I think so," Spork looked around. "Why don't people use my name?"
"Because you were Tallest for all of ten seconds," Miyuki deadpanned. "Now put it on the table! I'm determined to win my things back!"
"Bring it on!" Spork laid his cards down.
Xxx
"Who could afford these?" Zim shouted.
"Well one Irken came in a while ago, I think his name was Bob," Carlos shrugged. "How you aliens keep finding out about my business I'll never know."
"I really wanna go for the Interdimensional Drives! I don't have a lot of time on my hands and I need to go fast," Zim said. "Is there any way to get a Trial Version? I hear you can get one Three for thirty Days."
"Well you have to agree to sign this contract here," Carlos held up a clip board. "You will agree that in the event of explosions, radiation poisoning ,decompression, death by black hole or any other mysterious means non-related to the engine ,you cannot sue us."
"Wouldn't I be dead anyways?" Zim asked, tilting his head.
"Company policy, blame Kurt, the guy's like a Forensic surgeon for the law." Carlos shuddered.
"Well I really want that engine..." Zim considered.
"Good! You can use our prototype! And if you come back after thirty days you can get one for fifty percent off!"
"Isn't that still enough to bankrupt Earth?" Zim asked.
"Three times over Zim," Carlos nodded. "Three times over."
"Maybe I can cash in on the Tallests' bets to pay for it." Zim said. "I really like that engine...would it matter to you where I got the money?"
"Heck no," Carlos shook his head. "Betting on you living is one of our best incomes! Just sign that you will test our Super Nova Survival ship if you fail to pay back."
"What happens if I die?" Zim asked.
"Then any all surviving relatives or friends will be compensated." Carlos said.
"Oh florp that! Just promise Gir infinite nachos and to make Minimoose self destruct and take this rock of a planet with him!" Zim shook his head.
"Ah! Nacho and End of world Policy, good choice!" Carlos grinned.
"...how do you come prepared for this?" Zim asked, mildly disturbed by how Carlos handled all of the Alien Technology he and Kurt were selling.
"We get a lot of customers," Carlos said.
Xxx
A few days ago...
"Ok, so you want 90 titanium shuriken equipped with explosives and shock abilities, a cloaking device, and a shoulder mounted plasma launcher." Carlos paused. "Uh... I can't give my skull to you but I could give you the heart of a hero...I keep one in my freezer."
The large Predator scratched the chin of its mask, considering the ultimatum, and shrugged.
"Perfect! That'll be ten thousand monies!" Carlos smiled.
The Predator, shocked and angered, roared. He slammed one fist down on the table, leaning over and growling in Carlos' face.
"...okay okay! I can cut you in for half now, pay the rest off in small payments if they work and your victims have some money on them...but if they come back damaged you pay full price!" Carlos said.
The Predator growled, picked up its weapons, and then pulled a check book out of one part of its armour. It wrote down a check for five thousand monies and slammed it down on the table, grumbling about 'Stupid expensive humans'.
"Pleasure doing business sir! I hope you get the skulls of all those who meet your blade!" Carlos said with a pleasant smile as the Predator left his house.
Carlos sighed and sat down...when the door bell rang. He opened t...and was met by a Predalien. It held up a note.
'I hear you've been selling to Predators as of late. Can I come in and chat with you over some...lunch?'
"...uh oh." Carlos blinked. "This ain't good."
Xxx
"I still don't know how I got out of that one." Carlos said, not noticing a human made Xenomorph staring out from his bedroom window. Scratching his chest out of a recently formed habit (Hint, hint), the maniac continued. "The point is Zim, that we come prepared for usually anything!"
"Awesome, lovely, amazing!" Zim nodded.
Carlos' cell phone rang. He picked up. "...Hey! Invader Dest! What's up man?...yeah, that's covered by our business!...That one isn't though...if you blow my eyes out how will I pay you back?...look buddy those blasters were state of the art, I don't know what kind of fight you got into but if you expect me to pay that back you're mistaken..uh huh...yeah? Well I'll see you at your funeral too!" He hang up. "So rude."
"Who was that?" Zim asked.
"Just some disgruntled customer trying to kill me." Carlos shrugged. "Don't worry, they never succeed."
Inside, Kurt sighed and crossed another tick on a list marked 'Bounty Hunters/Disgruntled customers/Soccer Mothers/Girl Scout Troop Leaders that have come for Carlos'. This was actually the fifth sheet of paper added to the list, which was made up of hundreds of names...mostly girl scout troop leaders.
"So let's get you set up and then you can go on your crusade of Doominess, Mr Zim!" Carlos said.
"Perfect!" Zim smirked. "As soon as I trace my PAK signal, the thief who has taken it yet again shall feel the wrath of my Zimmy Wrath...and Zimmy Powers too!"
"...yeah good luck with that, now excuse me I have to hook up a pair of the galaxy's fastest engines to a scrap heap." Carlos said. "And put enough weapons to destroy a solar system in also." As Zim ran off to get ready, Carlos pulled out his cell phone. "Yeah, Kurt? Put me down for fifty thousand that Zim gets torn up by Giant Rats...oh and ten thousand that they just meet giant rats along the way, I need a fall back. Also, add one thousand to any amount of rat related fates they suffer...okay, it's kinda hard to hear hand gestures through a phone-hey no need to be rude about it!...ok, thanks."
Xxx
"Ok," Lok sighed. "Zim stole my ship, again, he's on a wild quest of power to get power...how can he lift something that heavy and vanish that fast?"
"I think he flew it actually." Dib said.
"It was in three separate pieces!" Lok shouted. "Why do I have such bad luck with this ship? I need to get it back, it cost me fifteen million monies and I don't have enough for another ship!" He looked to Dib. "Where on this world would Zim go to fix a ship?"
"Uh...his...base?" Dib asked.
"Too obvious!" Lok shook his head. "Besides, his computer kicked him out last time he lost his PAK, it won't let him back in so he can drain power!"
"What about that weird guy who keeps calling himself 'the Carlos?'" Gaz, who was sitting on the back of the hovercraft Lok had salvaged from the wreckage of the second crashed ship asked, playing her Game Slave while squeezed in between Loe and Kay.
"What would he know about Irken technology?" Lok asked.
"Well he's some kinda super hero or something, right?" Gaz asked. "He keeps adding a 'the' to his name...or is he a super villain?" She shrugged. "Ether way he keeps making all sorts of noises and lights."
"He's been stealing and selling a lot of alien technology, and using all the money to buy himself either large amounts of Klondike bars...or flame throwers," Dib explained.
Lok pulled out one of his many hidden guns. "Time to go spread some kick assery." He ran off.
"...and get your ship back?" Dib called after him.
"That too!" Lok suddenly ran back and dragged Tak along. "And like I said, you're coming too!"
"Aw crud!" Tak whined. "I can't come along! What happens if I try to have another soda?"
"Oh you enjoy those moments, we all know it." Lok rolled his eyes. "Now quit being a whiner. I'm taller and I say you're going with me!"
"Wrong, Almighty Nameless One!" Zim, who had appeared from around a nearby corner declared. "You shall all accompany Zim on his Doomy Crusade...of Doom!"
"Why should I?" Lok demanded.
"...I have your ship?" Zim pointed out.
"I can kill you and steal it back!"
"...my quest involves gaining lots of money?" Zim asked.
The hidden gun went back in its holster. "Now you're talkin' my language!"
"Good!" Zim chuckled. "As much as I loathe to admit it, I will need help acquiring my PAK from these devious fiends who stole it! I have a ship and have armed it with many weapons and new engines. But I need a crew. Therefore I commission you all to gather me a crew, we leave in one hour!"
As he ran off, Dib sighed. "He'll drain the city dry in that time."
"Better than him staying like this forever though, now come on Big Head," Lok held Dib up by the scruff of his coat. "There's money riding on this! And I'm greedy!" He ran off, carrying Dib, Tak, and Gaz over or under his left arm.
Xxx
Three hours later
"I said ONE HOUR!" Zim shouted as Lok stepped onto the bridge. "What took you so long?"
"Well excuse me Mr Amazing, we needed to call in about fifty or sixty people to man my ship," Lok frowned. "It takes time to fly across a galaxy you know. But we have a good forty four crew."
"Excellent!" Zim nodded. "Show them to Zim!" He was perched on the Captain's chair...until Lok shoved him off and sat in it.
"Oye! My chair!" Lok snapped. "Go aft and look at them yourself!"
"Excellent!" Zim ran out of the bridge.
Xxx
As it turned out, most, if not all of the crew members assembled were large, menacing, mostly carnivorous aliens. Zim swallowed as he stared at the collection of misfits. Those who were not bigger were uglier and had multiple scars.
"...Could Zim's slightly superior senior officers meet him up front?" Zim waved one arm.
"Screw you Zim!" Tak called from the kitchen, munching on a chocolate bar.
"MEET ME IN THE FLORPING FRONT!" Zim shouted.
This roused Tak, Gaz, Dib, Kurt, The Carlos, GIR, Minimoose, Loe, and Kay to rush into the bridge with Zim, who shut the door behind them.
Zim cleared his throat, folding his hands behind his back, appearing as the perfect portrayal of a professional Captain. "...Who the florp hired this crew?" His eyes were wide, his teeth chattering together. "They are the most revolting, mismatched crew of lawless brutes I have ever seen! Which one of you called them here?"
All hands pointed...
To Minimoose.
"Squeak," Minimoose looked down as if ashamed or embarrassed.
"You called them here?" Zim shouted. "Are you nuts? Are you mad? Are you bonkers? Are you-are you-are YOU!" He pointed his finger right in Minimoose's face. Pressing it to the Moose toy's nose. "Are YOU?"
"Squeak?" Minimoose sounded fearful, mostly of Zim's electric powers.
"In his defence, I'm the one who hired our kitchen staff."Carlos raised a hand.
Xxx
In the mess hall...
"No, no, and NO!" Hellion snapped. "Four ounces of muscle, and then we add the sprinkling of bone dust!"
"And I say YOU'RE F-ING NUTS!" Johnny the Homicidal Maniac shrieked in the alien's face. "Add them all at once, stir while adding fresh blood! Speaking of," He glanced at a fearful Keef, who was tied to the nearby wall. "I need more blood!" He pushed up Keef's sleeve, revealing many cuts and pulled out a knife, licking his lips.
"Mommy!" Keef squeaked.
"Now you know how I feel!" Squee, tied up next to Keef swallowed.
Xxx
"This spaghetti is really good though, they know their stuff," Carlos, eating a bowl of oddly red spaghetti smiled, wiping 'sauce' off of his chin.
"Look, we need to catch up to the PAK thieves, and fast!" Zim declared. "So do your jobs and let's go!"
"Aye-aye!" Carlos snapped a salute, as did Kurt and GIR.
Xxx
Three hours and a few million miles later
The crew of the Omni-Hunter was lounging around in the cargo bay, munching on snacks. Many of them now had pot bellies and were greasy haired and looked tired.
"It's been three hours since we left that cesspool of a planet," Hellion groaned, sitting back against a crate with nacho cheese around his mouth and his belly now bloated.
"And two since the engines failed." Next to him, Nny, sucking on what had been an alien's rib groaned.
GIR was hopping up and down on his head while Minimoose and MIMI watched him, seemingly entertained by this. Gaz was playing her Game Slave on the upper deck of the cargo bay, legs dangling down. Lok and Zim were up on the bridge, trying to figure out the problem while Loe was in the engine compartment, actually fixing it by hand.
Dib was sitting a few feet away, breathing deeply. Tak was drawing pictures of herself killing Zim-but accidently drew one of herself kissing him. She growled and ripped it apart, crumpled the pieces into a ball and tossed it over her shoulder.
It struck Dib on his Hideously Gigantic Monster of a Head...which was the last straw.
"Oh man, I've gone mad!" Dib declared, leaping to his feet, shouting for all to hear. "I'VE GOT CABIN FEVER!"
"I've got it too!" GIR cheered.
"We've got cabin fever!" Everybody shouted, causing Gaz to look down in curiosity, and then go back to her game.
Dib started them off.
I got cabin fever!
It's burning in my brain!
Tak joined in, shoving Dib aside as he clutched his HUGE head.
I've got cabin fever!
It's driving me insane!
She formed one hand into the shape of a gun, placed it against the side of her skull, and pretended to blow her brains out.
Carlos, leading several other crew members picked up from there.
We've got cabin fever!
We're flipping our bandanas!
They all pointed to one crew member who wore a bandana, and was indeed flipping it back and forth as he danced. Carlos took the lead, leaping on top of a crate.
Been afloat in space for so long, we've simply gone bananas!
Suddenly many crew members had changed into sombreros, and one particularly fat Planet Jacker took up a rhythm he beat out while he danced around, crushing a few unfortunate aliens under his feet.
Then one by one, various crew members cried out. "I've got cabin fever!"
"I have cabin fever!" Carlos grinned.
"I have cabin fever!" GIR giggled.
"I've got cabin fever!" Dib grinned, one eye twitching.
Then the spot light went on Gaz, and the music stopped. She glanced up again, seeing all eyes on her.
"...I've got cabin fever."
Then things resumed! The music picked up as Loe appeared from a nearby hatch, leading a dozen crew members in the next set.
We've got cabin fever,
We've lost what sense we had!
Loe made a 'coo-coo' motion by placing his right hand next to his head, pointing one finger at himself and rotating that finger.
We've got cabin fever
WE'RE ALL GOING MAD!
As one Hellion and Nny had finished the next set and grabbed two unfortunate crew members, dragging them away to never be seen again.
"I have cabin fever!" Loe giggled insidiously.
"I have cabin fever!" Kay then dragged a third crew member in the same direction Nny and Hellion had gone.
Up in the bridge, by complete coincidence, Lok wiped some sweat off his head as he and Zim tried to get the AC and the engines working. "If this keeps up, I'll have cabin fever."
Not deterred, the crew kept going. One alien began to play a banjo, and took on a more...old west approach to the song. Irken Rikalo 'Rik' took over, tapping one boot to the rhythm as he tilted his new cowboy hat down over his eyes.
Grab your partner by the ears,
Lash him to the wheel!
Nyy just did that, nailing the poor alien's ears to the wheel of a ground vehicle packed into the back of the cargo bay. He snickered evilly as he moved in for the kill.
Rik raised one non-existent eyebrow, and gave the poor soon to be eaten alien some help.
Do-si-do, step on his toe,
Listen to him squeal!
Loe came to the rescue, pounding on Nny's toe-for some reason Nny's steel toed boots were gone at this time. Nny yelped, hopping up and down on one foot and cursing while his victim got free and ran away. Nny shook a fist at Loe, who spat his tongue at the homicidal maniac and ran back to the group.
Satisfied, Rik continued his musical torment.
Allemande left, allemande right,
It's time to fly or fall!
Several crew members began to dance together, moving in a constant rotation.
Swing your partner through the air lock,
Go on, have a ball!
Dib and Tak tossed two crewmembers into the air lock. Luckily they were too insane to notice it close, and they had pressure suits on when the outer doors opened and sucked them out.
Carlos, Tak and Dib then sat on a crate together, looking like they were posing for a fashion magazine.
Carlos: We have cabin fever!
Dib: No ifs, ands, or buts.
Tak: We're disoriented.
Carlos and Dib: And Demented!
All of them together: And a little nuts!
Hellion and Nny took over, perched on the railing of the upper deck.
We were flying, flying!
With big guns on our side!
Their expressions darkened, and their next words came out as a low drawl.
Then our engines died.
"I've got cabin fever!" Nny leaped down, arms spread.
"I got cabin fever!" Hellion licked his lips.
"I've got cabin fever," Rik drawled, one foot propped up on a small crate as his hat was tilted down over his eyes-the pose combined with his shirt vanishing made female crew swoon.
The spot light went on Kurt, who sat next to Gaz. He stared at them all...then knew they wouldn't stop until they were done, so he shrugged an opened his mouth.
"I've got cabin fever."
THOOM! A black hole tore open and sucked a few more crew in, shutting moments later.
Tak took over, dancing with a few of the female crew.
I've got cabin fever
I think I've lost my grip!
She and her backup dancers feigned a swoon, falling on their backs and then rising fluidly to their feet.
Gaz muttered bitterly, taking over for Tak.
I'd like to get my hands on
Whoever wrote this script.
She was mostly referring to how this Cabin Fever episode made the characters act so...out of character.
Then surprisingly, Invader Klee, the demonic Irken who stole Zim's PAK the second time moved into view. Her voice was opera worthy as she sang slowly, her hips swaying back and forth.
I was floating near a dyin' sun...
Dreeeeeeamin' of the man who was the one...
Nooooow my sanity's gone and done! Haha!
The twenty eight or so remaining expendable crew members lined up for the main part of their opera of insanity.
Cabin fever has ravaged all aboard!
This once proud vessel has become a mobile psycho ward!
Tak and Dib stepped forward, catching top hats and canes from nowhere and danced side by side.
We were flying, flying!
Headed who knows where!
And now though we're all here!
We're not, all, THERE!
They ended the song on one knee, arms thrown up over their heads as everybody else broke out into chaotic celebrations of doom!
TSEW! TSEW! TSEW!
The laser shots from Lok's pistol roused them from their dementia.
Lok stood next to Zim on the upper deck.
"What the florp are you all doing?" Zim shouted. "The engines are fixed so get your lazy butts into gear!"
"Sorry!"
"Sorry sir!"
"I feel so stupid now."
"Can't believe we let it get to us!"
"Why are there holes in my ears?"
Zim sighed as the crew scattered. "I'm doomed." He looked at Gaz. "Gaz-human, is this cabin fever a normal thing for humans?"
Gaz shrugged. "Apparently its normal for aliens too."
"...she has a point," Lok whispered.
Zim scoffed. "Please, I journeyed for six months to Earth on a Voot Cruiser with GIR and I had no cabin fever!"
"...you can't do much more damage to a brain like that Zim." Lok sighed, walking away.
"What's that mean?" Zim blinked. "Hey what's that supposed to mean? Get back here! What's it mean?"
"Oh nothing," Lok lied as Zim followed him.
"No, no, no! You said something, I want to know what it means!" Zim snapped.
"Oh nothing, nothing," Lok said sheepishly. "Have a nice day sir."
"Look, you crazy bounty hunter who's name I still have yet to find out, don't think your mysterious and bad ass ways can make you immune to my command!" Zim said. "Now if you'll excuse me, I must siphon power from the power core."
As Zim ran off, one crew member glanced over "Don't we need the power for life support?"
Lok blinked. "...ZIM!" He ran off after the deranged Captain.
Xxx
Day Seven
Dear Journal, I am carving you into the wall of my quarters, as all of the paper on board has been stolen and wound up in the men's bath room. I dare not risk using my data pad with all of the viruses and spam the crew has uploaded, and MIMI vanished days ago.
Something aboard has conspired to eliminate me; that is the only reasonable theory I have thought up. Slowly the crew has dwindled down despite the increasing size of every dinner meal provided by the chefs-which oddly tastes a little too coppery for my tastes. I can only assume that Zim has lured me here to destroy me.
We stop every day on a planet for Zim to recharge. We must always make it an inhabited planet, or else Zim will siphon energy from our belongings.
The worst part is that now Zim has technically successfully invaded...19 planets during his attempts to get more power.
I fear we will not survive the trip...to retrieve Zim's cursed PAK, the cause of all my troubles.
"TAK! STOP IT!" Gaz growled, sitting on the bed opposite from Tak, who was scratching words into the wall with her PAK legs-making a very loud screeching noise. "I am trying to finish the final level!"
The door flew open, and Loe grinned. "...nice."
Tak blushed darkly as she realized she had not finished changing clothes. Her shirt/cape lay on the floor while she just wore her pants, boots, and a standard Irken sports bra...revealing a tattoo on her tummy of her own name in purple, which matched the bra colour.
Her gaze darkened as her eyes narrowed.
THWACK! SPLAT! ZIP! SPLAT! CRUNCH! THWACK! THUD! THUD! THUD! BANG! CRACK! THWACK! MOO! PINCH! NIPPLE TWIST! THWACK! DOH! TEE-HEE! GIGGITY-GIGGITY-GOO! BEEP BEEP! Meep.
Loe lay on the floor, badly beaten. "Der..."
A note fell out of his broken, mangled hands.
Dear Tak and Gaz-future concubines
We have arrived at the planet that the almighty ZIM has traced his PAK to. Report to the bridge.
PS, don't kill the Loe-Slave, ZIM needs somebody to do his foot rub.
Signed-ZIM!
Gaz glanced down at Loe. "...pervert."
They left Loe to either die or miraculously survive.
Xxx
"So...what is this planet?" Tak asked as she gazed at the world before them.
"Well, it's got habitable atmosphere," Lok read off a list compiled from scanning the planet. "Plenty of wild life and...looks like a few villages even, not too sure."
"Enough talk Mysterious One, where is Zim's PAK?" Zim demanded.
"Right...in this area," Lok tapped a spot on a map on the main screen. "Right in this village."
"Excellent!" Zim smirked. "Let the invasion begin!" He laughed maniacally.
"...Why don't we just fly down and ask around instead?" Lok deadpanned.
"Aw...but I had my favourite grenade launcher for this!" Carlos whined, holding up the weapon.
Xxx
End of Part 1 of Zim Looks for Batteries 3
