A/N If you have not read'Kaili the Whisperer' and 'New Girls of High Reaches' this will make less sense to you though I guess it's easy enough to pick up what's going on without reading the previous references and short story about Vorinia.

Chapter 1

Vorinia had been given most furiously to think by the straight talking – following a good spanking – she had received from Bronze Rider D're for her behaviour in the Weyr.

Part of her wanted to hate him and discard all that he had said; but somewhere deep down in her spoiled little soul she recognised that he had actually dealt relatively kindly with her for her impudence and ill temper; and that he had spoken many a home truth.

No-one likes to hear the truth about themselves when they have behaved badly; and Vorinia was no exception. But what made her burn with shame more than the embarrassment of being told off was the thought that everyone thought her a spoiled brat – and with reason – and hated her accordingly. Or worse, laughed scornfully about her.

What had perhaps prepared the way for D're's straight talking was the obvious friendly camaraderie between the other female candidates; Vorinia had never has a friend in her life and she was frankly envious.

It was hard going explaining to her father that she had withdrawn voluntarily from candidateship almost immediately; and to stop him rushing to the Weyr to demand that she be taken back! Only by telling him that she realised just in time that she was not ready, not grown up enough to contemplate facing Thread did she finally manage to convince him.

It had been an exhausting day all round; and Vorinia took herself to her room, daintily furnished, where she lived in solitary splendour.

Her personal drudge waited warily.

"Josis, am I such a bitch?" asked Vorinia.

"Madam?" Josis asked tonelessly.

"Am I nasty too you? So nasty that you're almost cowering?" said Vorinia looking at Josis for perhaps the first time. She saw a girl much her own build but a little taller her brown hair tied up in a scarf with green eyes looking too large in a rather gaunt face. The eyes were lowered quickly after having looked up in surprise.

"Madam is my employer: I always try to do her bidding" said Josis.

There was even so a touch of resentment in the voice. Vorinia stamped her foot impatiently.

"Josis, tell me what you really think of me! I order you to! And I promise I shall not punish you for speaking the truth" she added hastily.

Josis kept her face wooden; she was a turn or two older than Vorinis and had been her personal drudge since she, Josis, had been orphaned at thirteen turns old.

"Madam, I do my work for you as best I may. I am not paid to have opinions" the girl decided that this was the easiest way out of a dilemma. To promise not to punish? Why, if she told the little brat what she truly thought she'd surely find ways to punish, even if she didn't give a whipping straight away; or would at least remember and punish more horrible for real or imagined slights at a later date.

Vorinia caught the flash of angry contempt in her maid's eyes as she spoke her colourless piece; and burst into tears.

"It's true then! Everyone DOES hate me because I'm so horrid!" she sobbed. She threw herself down on the bed and howled as if her heart was breaking. And in some ways it was!

Josis hesitated; then sat down beside her mistress and put a tentative arm around her shoulders. She had never seen Vorinis like this! Crying for effect, yes; tears of frustrated anger, frequently; but never such desolation! Josis had suffered much at Vorinia's quick hands – but this was scarcely the Vorinia she knew!

The younger girl turned into the embrace and clung desperately to Josis.

"Oh Josis, I've slapped you and had you whipped and – and I'm not even sure why, and oh-oh-oh!" she howled again.

"Madam has a hot temper and Madam's father has never seen fit to teach Madam to curb it" Josis ventured.

"B-Bronze Rider D're s-said I had a voice that could cut paper and break glass" said Vorinia "And that I richly deserved walloping, and that if I couldn't learn to contain my anger terrible things could happen….and other things too."

"Sounds like you don't need me to tell you then. Madam" said Josis.

"I – I hoped it was only because I – I had a – a tantrum at his sister" said Vorinia in a small voice "That made him madder at me….. Josis, I – I don't know HOW to measure up, how to BE nice! Oh teach me!"

"Do you really want to learn? Or is it going to wear off when you've recovered from being reproved by a Bronze Rider?" asked Josis cautiously.

"I want to learn! I want to have friends! I want to be likeable!" cried Vorinia.

Josis smiled cynically.

"Then Madam might start by adding a couple of things; and losing another" she said.

"What's that? Tell me quick!"

"Well madam, if you add the odd 'please' and 'thank you' the courtesy oils many a bad moment; and if you remove 'I want' from your speech you'll find people less inclined to see you for a spoilt little madam. And as you stop thinking about what YOU want, and start thinking about courtesies to other people's feelings you'll find that you're NOT such a spoilt little madam."

It was the longest speech Josis had ever made to her mistress; and Vorinia flushed. Anger ran across her face at being so spoken to; but she swallowed it, especially seeing Josis flinch and tense for a blow.

"I – I see. Thank you Josis" she said "I – I appreciate you being blunt. SOMEONE has to be; and Daddy won't. I – I don't think he accepts what Queenrider L'rilly said, that he was at least partly to blame for me. I don't think hw sees anything wrong."

Josis pulled a face.

"Your father has never had a kind word for anyone one but you, Lady, and too many in your case. He's not universally popular himself."

Vorinia was startled.

The idea that a Holder's people shoul hold opinions about their overlord had never entered her rather empty little head. But visions of her father snarling at people, slashing casually with his riding crop, kicking at drudges suddenly rose before her eyes.

"How would My Lady like to be a drudge in this Hold, scrubbing floors when the Holder comes in, in a bad mood?" asked Josis shrewdly.

The thought was horrifying.

"I – I can't imagine!" said Vorinia "I – I can't even imagine drudging, let alone…they said I was lazy too" she added.

"You've not exactly been encouraged to stir yourself, have you?" asked Josis. Vorinia was holding her hand tightly, as though she were drowning and was grasping at the one thing that could keep her above water. It hurt; but Josis did not mind that pain. It was the hand of a desperate child clinging to someone who could rescue her.

"D're said, if I learned to be decent, and learned to work and get fit, I might be able to go back one day" said Vorinia.

"And are you sweet on this D're?" asked Josis.

Vorinia blinked.

"No…..no, he's handsome and…..and merry when he's not so angry…..he…..he acted like I was a little sister who needed scolding and chastising I guess….. I think I rather admire him, and I'm a bit scared of him….. he has a weyrmate anyway, and they take that seriously apparently."

"Then it strikes me, Madam, you were dead lucky to be advised by him" said Josis bluntly.

"I suppose so. Oh Josis, please call me Vorinia when we're alone! I – I need a friend and you're being such a good one so far – especially as I've been such a porcine too you!"

Josis allowed herself a smile.

"It hasn't always been easy – Vorinia. But if you really want to change I will stand your friend."

Vorinia looked into the girl's steady green eyes.

"If I do return, you must come with me – as a candidate" she said soberly "Or go yourself if you don't feel that I ever can. You – you're – that's so forgiving…..and I – I guess that being nice to people who don't really deserve it is one of the things being a Dragonrider is all about."

Josis saw the sincerity in her mistress's blue eyes and embraced her warmly.

"You just put someone else first, dear Vorinis" she whispered "And that's a fardling big step! I – I would love to be near dragons – more than anything, I guess! But if we DO go, I can't do your chores for you, you know; it wouldn't be fair to YOU!"

Vorinia nodded.

"I know. I – I had an idea. If – if I can persuade Caligar" she named her personal groom "To play along, I could ride off, and comeback each morning dressed as a drudge and learn?"

Josis laughed.

"It won't work. By the time you ride, much of the work is done! If you want to know how to drudge, better to get up early – long before your father rises – and I'll introduce you as a girl come to help for a couple of hours. Because you won't last longer than that at first."

"How…er how long do drudges work each day?" Vorinia wanted to know.

"Between twelve and sixteen hours" shrugged Josis "Not always at HARD work. I rise at five to see water is hot for your bath; and wash and hang up the clothes you've discarded the previous night, and if they dry I iron them in case you decide to wear the same gown. It's a skilled job; brocades are the very Red Star to launder you know; and velvets too. I hope to have time to take some breakfast then; but that depends. Then I do any mending that's urgent and then I bring you your klah in bed; and then I bring you breakfast if you require it in bed, and lay out what you have chosen to wear. Next I bring hot water for your bath and stand by in case you need me. I usually snatch the chance to sit down then" she added "Then I dry you and assist you with dressing and hope that you're in a good mood and not about to find me clumsy when you're not helping yourself with dressing" – here Vorinia flushed. Josis went on,

"Anyway, once you're up and go down to play music or go riding or embroider I often have time to snatch breakfast if I have not done so before, so long as I am within call to pick up yor skein of thread if you are embroidering should you drop it. It is easiest on ME if you choose to ride" she added dryly.

"I make myself ride; one has to. Runner beasts scare e so" confessed Vorinia.

"Well if you only told Caligar that and let him show you how to master them properly they'd become less scary I guess!" suggested Josis.

"But he'd despise me!" wailed Vorinia.

"For ill treating the animals he already does" said Josis "What else do you expect? Now are you losing your resolve, for you've that temper look coming, Vorinia.."

Vorinia swallowed.

"It's not easy to hear" she said.

"But better from someone who thinks you CAN change the way you're seen surely? Shall I continue with the description of my day's work?" said Josis.

Vorinia nodded almost meekly.

Josis went on,

"It's the table staff who have the caring for you at the noon meal; I have a couple of hours lighter duties – mending, and ironing what I've not been able to do before, as well as eating my own nooning" she said "Then I must be on hand for you in the afternoon should you call; for you like to please yourself without interruption walking in the garden and receiving swains sometimes; and I must be invisible but on hand. Then I must lay out what you plan to wear for the evening, and heat you another bath, and help you with it and with dressing; and clear up your dressing table if you have used makeup. And your hair must be braided again – I did not mention that for the morning ablutions – and then it is supper and the evening entertainments. I often take a nap after I have eaten; I'm pretty tired by then" she confessed. "Then I must undress you and get you to bed, and pick up your discarded clothes to wash on the morrow, and sit up a while in case you do not sleep straight away but call for me. It is then eleven in the evening."

Vorinia was aghast.

"How do you cope on so little sleep?" she demanded.

Josis shrugged.

"Accustomed to it I suppose" she said "Sometimes I'm so tired I want to cry; especially when you've been …..a little fractious."

Vorinia flushed.

"That makes it sound so childish!" she snapped.

"And is it not?"

Vorinia buried her face in her hands.

"I had no idea!" she said "I – I'm sorry I've been so trying to add to all that!"

"That is the biggest thing you ever said" said Josis "I never heard you ever apologise before!"

"It – I find it so difficult!"

"It is. Vorinia, I'm really starting to like you – is that not a victory for you?" said Josis.

"Truly?" Vorinia sounded hungry.

"Truly!"

"Then – then I can do it! With your help! Josis, I – I can't start tomorrow; I'm exhausted with all that's happened! But please go STRAIGHT to bed yourself; if I want anything I can get it myself!"

"Let me get you a mug of water first" said Josis "If you have it ready at night, you won't have to disturb yourself to get one; and that'll make you sweeter natured about your resolve not to call me."

Vorinia managed a weak smile.

"That's awfully practical" she said.

"Drudges have to be" said Josis dryly.

"One more question – you're obviously intelligent and educated; so why are you a drudge?" asked Vorinia.

"Because my mother died birthing a dead baby when I was small; and my father was an itinerant woodcrafter who died when some idiot logger dropped a tree on him; and it would have cost your father trouble to send me back to the Woodcrafter Hall where I had family, especially when he had a daughter who needed a drudge. And he told me how grateful I should be to him for his – generosity!" she spat the word, her eyes flashing with anger.

"And you had to drudge for me and my tantrums while grieving for your father – and I assumed you'd not much notice because the commons have no more feelings than animals; and you a crafter, not the commons at all!"

"And that's a load of wherry teeth too!" snapped Josis "The commons DO have feelings every bit as fine as yours, Vorinia! People are all alike – even those who drudge because they're too stupid to do anything else have FEELINGS! So get that into your head!"

"I – I'm sorry!" Vorinia was shocked at the other girl's vehemence. And, truth to tell, shocked at her father's betrayal of the unwritten code that craft returned to craft if bereft of support!

Josis nodded a little curtly.

"I never had time to grieve for him properly yet" she said "If you will excuse me….." her eyes shone with unshed tears.

Vorinia impulsively hugged her.

"Tomorrow you take the day off!" she said "I – I'm sure I can make shift for myself!"

Josis gave her a twisted smile.

"No you can't. not until you're taught. Perhaps you'll choose to wear a different gown though so I don't have to hurry as much?"

"I will" said Vorinia "And – and you can show me how to do my own mending too, perhaps?"

"I think you'd find it more enjoyable than you realise to work together" said Josis. "Good night, Vorinia."

"Good night Josis!" said Vorinia.

It was a happier girl who went to bed than for a long time, had she but realised it; and if Josis cried herself to sleep those tears too were healing.

She too was no longer alone with a burden of grief to carry!