A/N: I had this idea inspired when I remembered one time I called my aunt's newborn baby "A repulsing abomination." I don't like children, but I adore Ruby. xD Although I hate reading stories in the character's point of view, I'll admit some stories turn out really good. I'm gonna give it another shot. The recap is mostly told in Steven's P.O.V.
Warning
: Shota at a low level in my opinion.
Summary
: I don't know what hit me harder on my eighteenth birthday: helping a woman through labor without fainting or the fact that Norman's son declared to have a child with me. Tensaishipping.
Disclaimer: Don't own. This was made for my total amusement.


Luck was laughing at him in his face. When he departed for Mt. Coronet a sudden change in weather completely soaked Steven's hiking wear, worst of all he tripped on an unsighted rock and the map that somehow conserved itself from the rain fell in a puddle of mud and water. He thought he could wipe off the mud to allow the map and hoped it was still legible. Unfortunately one torn end ripped the map in a half as he tried to gently take it out of the muddy puddle. The blue haired man set his eyes on the entrance of the cave, he was here and he would not go back unless he absolutely cannot find not even one rare stone, rock, or plate – he drew his hand in backpack for the only resourceful item he had left. His face paled, today was not his day…he cursed under his breath that he pokénav was left behind at home. Steven's mind was telling him to go back home or to go on without it, the feelings of strong rare collector enthusiast was buzzing and his pride would not allow him to return without a single item no matter what circumstance.

Aron shook its head, it expected Steven's straight-forward reactions returning without glory and it couldn't be any happier of its trainer's passion because it also meant it could dine on a heaping quantity of iron. Although Aron did not mind the long trip Steven made a noise in the back of his throat to prove his dimming patience; he glared harshly at the room upon entering it for the third time in a row! His arms fell, his back hunched, and he only dragged himself in another entrance of the endless mountain path. I am so hopelessly lost without a map, he admitted with a heavy amount of pessimism. The sounds of rushing water made him halt, he called his iron-eating pokémon and to his surprise his assumption was right after all: a waterfall showering tiny droplets everywhere around the area. Steven took a few steps forward, his expression relived with joy.

An entrance! Perfect!

Steven fastened his large backpack, the sheer eagerness overwhelmed him enough to tolerate the weight of his backpack as he then called Aron back inside its ball, his grin failed to fade when the beads of sweat ran down his face. Upon reaching an edged area he used the opportunity to take a short rest, he chugged down his canteen of water and wiped away the remaining liquid falling from the corner of his lip with his arm. He called out his Aron; eagerly it munched the iron-crusted object that prevented entrance to the secret cavern. Steven slid his finger on the switch of his flashlight and poked his head inside. The man flashed the light to the roof—an act of prevention from the nocturnal pokémon that could attack him at anytime like Golbats or Zubats—and there the treasure has been spotted near a boulder: a sandy-brown colored plate.

It was just as good enough of an experience to find a plate instead of a rare stone. He wandered through the countless corridors this mountain provided him; he expected something in return for all his efforts. Much later after departing the room Steven dreaded the idea of finding the outside world, his time felt robbed wandering aimlessly in the mountain. He did manage to find an exit, however it was on the opposite side of what he intended to locate – the snow pounded the ground hard, he had a feeling Skarmory might be unable to fly correctly with this snowfall. Steven sighed…time to start looking for the other exit.

His blue orbs flickered down on his villa from the skies, his Skarmory slowly settled to the ground and Steven jadedly turn the knob on the door, faintly announcing his return as he took a step inside. Ruby just happened to pass the hallway, he darted his eyes to Steven and did a double-take on the man's condition; the red orbed child crinkled his fingers in disgust, crossing his arms as a sign to prevent Steven from reaching Ruby's proximity. "You look like the living dead." Steven wearily looked at Ruby with confusion and so he decided to clarify, "I mean you really look awful."

Steven nodded, dragging his feet to the living room. He gave Ruby a momentary look, "Could you make coffee?"

Ruby nodded in response, he muttered something inaudible that Steven could not catch but he shrugged it off, ultimately he collapsed on the seat of his corner of the room. When he cast his eyes on the desk he groaned. References! How could it slip his mind so easily? Steven placed his head on his forehead, supporting it from drooping, his blue eyes lazily searching his bookcase for his books and materials. I'm so off today…he thought wryly.

Steven nudged a book from its slot, causing several of the books hidden behind it to tumble in his direction. The sound vibrated loudly through the rooms, he fell backwards on his rear, cursed and clutched his head. He'll admit this incident woke him up from his previous daze, he opened his eyes and fell into a grand disappointment about the cluttered mess but his eyes flickered to yellowed-paged book—how odd, it was too thin to be considered reference. He snatched the book from the pile, his eyes scanning the pages – he was instantly rendered speechless, motionless, and as soon as Ruby bolted worriedly with a steaming cup in hand he felt befuddled when Steven started laughing. The man took a seat on his recliner chair, patting his lap to gesture Ruby to sit. The scarlet-hued child advert his eyes to the wall, the blush slowly creeping to his cheek that matched the shade of his vivid scarlet-red eyes.

Ruby held his chin high, walking over to Steven with confidence—although heavily blushing at this point—and clamped his hands on Steven's knees, separating his legs wide for Ruby to situate himself between Steven's legs. The man laughed to Ruby's charming stubbornness, he looped his arms around Ruby and centered the old book – the image resembled an adult holding a child in a pastime called 'story time.' Steven placed his chin on Ruby's shoulder to have a better view of the book, whispering in his lover's ear to calm himself from his excessive blushing.

"You might not remember, but neither did I until I reread this. This was a journal based on my recordings of the accumulations in rare stone findings in the Johto region, but on my birthday I was requested to do the oddest task for Norman and decided to write it all down so – Ruby, why are you holding a cup of hot tea?"

Ruby blinked, confused for a second until he set his sights on the cup, "Oh, this?" he lifted the cup and told him, "This is going to be your new source of caffeine; it has more health benefits than coffee. I don't want you dying on me, Steven, especially since it can cause addiction—which I think you're suffering from—and heart disease."

Steven rolled his eyes, "Yes, mother." Taking a sip of the tea he continued, "You were just a kid then, so even if I tell you there can be a possibility you might not remember. But it's worth a try! Besides, it's the most precious thing I've ever seen you do yet."

It has been a normal day so far; really I couldn't complain how it's gone. As soon as I stepped inside my dad's olden-style corporation building I almost had to restrain myself from falling backwards in surprise to the flood of employees blessing me with a happy birthday and forcing their gifts upon me. It was like this every year, I sighed when I pleaded to the security guards to block anymore present giving until later. Honestly! It is too early in the day for me having to carry too much of a burden, no less since every year there would always be a handful of presents weighing so much I would need assistance to get it moving. I gave a sighing smile, I appreciate the thought and all, the employees always had soft spot for me in their hearts but sometimes I think their love is growing a tad bit overbearing.

I took a pause, absentmindedly staring at the wall. Wow, it really does take a while for it to hit me…I'm eighteen. Oh Arceus am I quickly aging! I stepped inside the elevator, unfortunately it was full but everyone was whispering to each other to make some space. I regarded them with a fleeting smile and said, "No, it's alright. I'll wait for the next."

They said something along the lines of "what a good child he is," somehow that comment lifted my spirits and helped me avoid the thought of what to do with the massive amount of presents I received. The next elevator stopped on the floor, quickly I went inside and jabbed the lit-close button. Eheh…so much for a good child. I just wanted to see my father, is that too much to ask for? I arrived at the top floor sooner than I expected and greeted by my father. It was one of those rare moments when it was just the two of us that he gave me a hug – seriously, he has such a gentle heart when the moments call for it.

He placed his hands on my shoulders, father regarded me with one of his enlightened beams. "Steven, my boy, you certainly are growing! You are now a full-fledged adult. You've made me immensely proud!"

I was touched, "Father…"

He spun his heel, "Which is why I want you to babysit Norman's son, I owe that man a favor and he really needs a babysitter. Apparently all the others cannot make it or refuse."

My eyebrow twitched. I give him credit for honesty at the very least.

My expression paled, I lift a hand up to stop him from talking. I only nodded at his enthusiastic smirk and told him, "I understand. I'll do it," I rolled my eyes and muttered, "not like I had anything planned today."

It's almost sad I haven't arranged anything for my birthday, I could have asked anyone to spend the day with and as always they would contentedly agree with my ideas. It's all coming back to me, I know, and now because of my father I have to babysit. Take responsibility for your actions! But it wasn't like I was actually mad; instead I just dismissed myself from his office, waved everyone off, and finally called my Skarmory out. Skarmory had such a whimsical expression that peeved me, then again how could I stop a pokémon who always had such a dark sense of humor to actually enjoy when I'm going through such tedious torment?

"If you are done giving me that look then fly to Petalburg," I paused when Skarmory pretended to be offended. I sighed through my nose and corrected myself, "please."

I always felt grateful to Skarmory's speed when it comes to flying, even with such an arrogant attitude it is just one of those irreplaceable members in a party. I looked at the surrounding area; everything was the picture of being remotely peaceful. Trees are swaying, the nice smell of a body of water filled the air and mixed the scent with the aroma of the flowers. Now that I look at this place it would be somewhere I should have a cottage. Reaching ground-level I thanked Skarmory and called it back in its poké ball, before I left father mentioned the gym is divided for the family's quality living and the rest is for battling trainers.

Wonderful, now to…

"Ruby! Come back here this instant!"

So much for peaceful.

I slid the door open, searching for the woman's shrill outburst inside the home. At first I thought I was seeing things but I can't believe I saw a little kid running around half-naked right in front of me. Surprises surprises Steven! It's endless.

The woman, my guess it was Caroline from what my father informed me and she fit the description quite notably, stopped when she spotted me. She took a glance at Ruby then back to me and blushed in embarrassment. "I'm sorry you had to see that, you see he doesn't want to put on the clothes I bought him."

Ruby, the half-naked child I assumed, stuck his tongue out. "I don't wanna put 'em 'cause they're ugly!" Ruby then pointed a finger at me, "And you, I don't like you. You're too pretty!"

Am I suppose to feel complemented or offended?

I was curious; I just had to ask Caroline, "How old is he?"

She clapped her hand on her cheek, disappointed at Ruby's behavior. "He's seven."

As they say, boys do not mature as fast as girls so his behavior is just as predictable as any boy his age. I would run away from my own parent if I was forced to wear "ugly" clothing or something that did not suit my taste, and before the little kid could run away I scooped him from his armpits and offered him to Caroline. No matter the circumstances this child should wear something before he gets sick or cold running around half nude. Both Caroline and I laughed, she hurriedly tugged a plain red shirt that Ruby did not seem to argue with – only that it was boring but opposed to everything else she thought of making Ruby wear on the sofa I would have just agreed with something boring as well.

Norman came in, bonking Ruby on the head and his daunting glare flickered over to the startled child. "Ruby, listen good and listen well: you caused enough trouble for your previous babysitters. I'm counting on Steven to take care of you. And Steven," he said, snapping me from my brief reverie, "murdering him is out of the question, but feel free to beat him. Thank you for everything, I apologize having to force this task on you."

I honestly shook his head, "It's no problem, Norman. Leave him to me. Enjoy your trip!"

Caroline brought her luggage as did Norman when he promised to be back by the next day. I waved them goodbye, slid the door shut with an earnest smile that twitched to a frown. Murdering? I bet his other babysitters were very blunt on how they could not stand him. Beating? Ouch, how harsh. I looked around, how the hell did that boy disappear so quickly? He better not wander off when I'm not looking! If I were to lose Norman's son it would be my head. I searched the living room, the bathroom, the dining room, the parent's room and now I really began to panic. As I was running up the stairs I could hear chocked sobs from one room I haven't checked yet, I peeked inside and could see Ruby hugging his knees, his face buried in his arms.

Oh shit. Oh shit. How do I deal with this? Um, should I wait? No, he might be in a grumpy mood and deny he cried. C'mon Steven, face this head-on, he's a kid! I knocked on the door before entering, for some reason I sensed that Ruby felt ashamed someone witnessed him crying—I know I really hated it as kid, too—but he didn't raise his head. Awkwardly I looped an arm around his shoulder, bringing him closer so he can find a sense of comfort. Even when I hated crying and someone actually did see me I did always felt better when they reassured me or whispered "It's okay."

"Ruby, look at me." I said but kept my voice low enough to avoid startling him. He shook his head in response and shied away from me. Oh no, I won't have that.

"Ruby, please look at me."

I felt a smile perking on my lips, he raised his head enough for me to see such wondrous scarlet-hued eyes, and although they were watery they just look so…beautiful. "That's some progress, I guess. I know I'm a stranger, I know it's not my business. But I can try to help you to the best of my abilities if you tell me what's wrong."

The silence lingered for a bit longer than a standard minute, regardless I noticed him hesitating by opening and closing his mouth.

"D-dad ha-hat-hates me!" he blurted loudly.

Oh man, I've seen this far too many times. Now I know I could handle this, actually it depends how stubborn he is to deny it. Man, it might take some time. "Ruby, you and I both know that's not true. Norman…Norman is the type of man who finds expressing his emotions really difficult, almost like he would feel sort of…uncomfortable…if he tried to hug you or something like that. It's just an awkward tension in his character – are you getting me?"

Ruby nodded, he raised his head further and resumed the line of questions, "T-then wh-why does he g-give me that look like h-he hates me?"

This was the moment I couldn't help but pat this kid's head, "Ruby, believe it or not that scowl he wears is just part of his face."

There was a pause between us and we instantly burst out laughing, my laugh stopped straight away when Ruby's wrapped his arms around my neck. "I take back what I said 'bout not liking you, I do like you after all!"

I would find this so cute if he wasn't so sniffly with mucus but I guess he has that sort of appeal. Later we decided to take a detour and go outside to buy some food, to my surprise I saw all large group of people gathering outside in circle of a small home. I was going to pass this off; I really don't want to get myself involved. As I thought, Ruby completely ignored me and squeezed his way in crowd, yelling at people to move aside so he can see. I bet they let him easily pass through being Norman's son and all. I sighed, I called out for Ruby but he never responded, I asked people to move through and I heard a few whispers:

"—taking them so long to get here?"

"—she's in labor—"

"Does anyone have experience?"

"Steven Stone!" One individual voiced from the crowd, I almost dropped the shopping bags from the alarm the sudden shouter caused me. She looked like one of the employees, maybe she had a day off? Her body trembled and she clapped her hands together, "Please help my sister, everyone is too afraid to help her with her baby! And for some reason the ambulance is taking a little longer than expected."

I stuttered upon my own words, how in the world am I going to assist a woman through labor? I'm just as clueless as the rest of the folks around here! I didn't have time to object before she started shoving me inside the house and by the corner of this small one-room house—can I even consider this a house?—Ruby was simply staring at the woman screaming her lungs out. Oh sweet Arceus, how a woman could really scream! Alright Steven, take a deep breath in and—wait a minute, I should be telling this to the woman instead! I kneeled down, opening her legs and trying to reassure her saying I have experience. To my dread she asked me what kind.

"Erm, I seen it on television…?" Way to go Steven, you just dug your own grave.

She spit a few venomous words at me—I saw it coming, no surprise—and screamed again, oh sweet mercy my ears are ringing! I lifted the blanket up and was close to fainting from what my eyes have been scarred by. I never thought it really did stretch so much to let a baby slide out despite learning about it. I felt absolutely nauseated.

Ruby wiped away the sweat forming under my fringes, I thanked him because somehow I just needed someone to keep me from sweating, I just need someone to be here in case of faint on the spot! "Alright, ma'am, just keep breathing and push! Yes, that's right! The head is coming out, just keep pushing!"

Ruby sent a subtle message through his expression that I read as such: "Do you know what you're doing?"

I mouthed the words: "None whatsoever."

I felt at ease the ambulance came; only they came after the woman has successfully given birth to a healthy girl. She was crying loudly the first few minutes and now sleeping in her mother's arms. In the background I leaned against the wall, my legs were still incredibly shaky from that whole life changing experience. On the other hand Ruby stood beside me and attentively gazed at the child being wrapped around in blankets.

"No offense, but I think the baby looks…ugly." Ruby told me.

Now that he mentions it I always heard a baby would look adorable but this one just seemed suit the term Ruby used. I nodded; he grinned and stood in front of me. I was just exhausted from the turn of events today, what else could possibly be stranger?

Ruby pointed a finger at me, "I don't want ugly children. Since you're pretty I'll have a baby with you!" he said to me. Ruby placed his hands on his hips and that grin was just so proud it almost made me want to burst out laughing again. Eventually the day had to end and Ruby gave me the most adorable pout I've ever seen in a kid and wished me to come back soon. But you know what? I don't know what hit me harder on my eighteenth birthday: helping a woman through labor without fainting or the fact that Norman's son declared to have a child with me.

Ruby's mouth hung open; Steven tapped the boy's chin up and reminded Ruby to keep his mannerism. Steven chuckled, Ruby's expression was simply priceless that scarlet-orb child buried his face in his hands. He could tell by the degrading flashback Ruby remembered his former self and felt utterly ridiculous. Ruby muttered something about being seven at the time and how did he forget such an event, he even begged Steven to stop laughing to spare him the feeling of stupidity. Steven shared a final laugh and remained quiet, he moved himself to the side and brought Ruby further in the corner of the seat, pinned almost slightly to prevent the boy moving. The blue-haired man pressed his arm on the available space above Ruby's head on the seat while his other free hand slithered up Ruby's neck.

"Ruby, look at me."

He shook his head – total déjà vu without the tears going on.

"Ruby, please look at me."

Ruby pried two of his fingers apart from each other that formed a v-shape; he exposed one red orb and gently released both his hands from his face when Steven brushed them away.

He gave Ruby a quick kiss on the lips, as he pulled back the man rested his chin back on Ruby's shoulder and then whispered hotly into his lover's ear, "Still want to have kids with me?"

Ruby smacked his forehead with his hand, a way to ease his embarrassment. "Shut…shut up, Steven!"


A/N: Amazing, this was meant to be a short one-shot and yet it came out 2,000 words longer than I originally planned. I lawled at this idea, I actually like it! By the way, even though Steven is just staying in his villa at the Sinnoh region, I decided for Steven not to update himself with a pokétch – let him be an individual and not follow the trend! :D By the way, when Norman mentioned "beating," not beating like kicking Ruby or punching him senseless. More like a slap on the head, a flick to the forehead…that stuff. Steven thought it was serious. And even though Ruby witnessed a woman giving birth he thought it wouldn't matter what gender it is and could still give birth. Thus still ordering to make babies with Steven. If possible, their child would grow up to be one hell of smexy beauty. xD Apart from everything else and mentioned before, pardon my mistakes and I hoped you enjoyed! My last one-shot for now should come out tomorrow and the next installment of Naturally Unexplainable will be out, too! :)