Title: Let's NOT talk about it
Author: Crazy4DA
Summary: Basically a reason for Sten and !FemTabris to share some tent time.
Disclaimer: Bioware is the owner of the universe, I'm just making good characters do bad things in it.
Rating: M, NSFW
A/N: I don't normally write smut and I think this piece shows it but I kept demanding to be written so I did. I feel a horrible guilt and shame for doing this to Sten and promise that I will make it up to the big man at some point. In the meantime, there just isn't enough Stenly goodness out there so here's my meager contribution.
Let's NOT talk about it
The Warden looked back the way they had come and frowned. The footprints of her small party were plain to see in the hard crusty snow if anyone else happened to come across them. She looked up into the sky, past the tops of the trees that interspersed themselves in the high mountain forest. Looks like snow. She studied the fluffy grey clouds hanging low over them, getting ready to dump their burden on the already cold Warden.
Her eyes went back down to the ground and followed their footsteps back until she couldn't see them.
"Kadan." The statement was simple. Zorana met the eyes of the giant Qunari warrior waiting for her to lead them onwards. Helix looked at her, eyes bright, intelligent and warm. He was waiting for her as well.
Zorana thought about their options. The road to Orzammar was filled with the Regent Mac Tir's men, all marching to the border between Ferelden and Orlias. Great caravans of supplies and men, miles long could be seen when they were on the higher peaks and were able to see down onto the road. It was making her task of reaching the great dwarven gates that much more difficult and forcing them to find other, less direct routes.
Her party had become too large to keep together and stay unnoticed as they crept around in the woods trying to find ways to avoid being seen by the soldiers on the road and still allow the cart carrying their own supplies to stay with them. Zorana had decided to split them up two days ago with instructions to meet at the Gates of Orzammar in a week. She'd kept her fellow Warden with the assassin and tower mage. She trusted that, between the two of them, they could keep the former Templar out of trouble and, more importantly, on track. Even now, she could feel him down the mountain, on the other side of the road heading in the same direction they were. It took more concentration to locate the Warden than normal, the Deep Roads under and in the mountain were crawling with darkspawn and it made Zorana's head ache if she listened too long.
Leliana, the two dwarves they traveled with and Morrigan she'd left together, confident that they would find the way. Leliana was clever and not ignorant as to what would happen to her if she were caught this close to the border. Zorana wanted her in the back, well away from the Regent's men on the road. She also didn't want to lose her supplies; she was hard pressed as it was to keep them fed. Bodahn knew more than he let on about the area they were in and Zorana couldn't shake the feeling that there was a lot more to his boy than his appearance gave credence to. As yet Bodahn hadn't offered any alternate routes to their destination.
Even though the wilder witch didn't like the Chantry sister, Zorana trusted that Morrigan would know when to blow men up and when to use the other weapons in her impressive arsenal. Morrigan also had an uncanny ability to find them regardless of where they were. It was an unlikely party combination but she had to trust they could make it work long enough to get to where they were going.
Looking up into the sky again, Zorana cursed her ignorance. She'd grown up in the alienage, snow came when it came. It wasn't like you could know how long you had when you couldn't see the sky past the squalor of the two story buildings around you. For an elf, especially a young female elf, leaving the alienage at all wasn't an option if it could be avoided and was not something to be done just because you wanted to see the sky. Now she was trying to judge how long the three of them had to find and set camp before it was too late.
"An hour more then we set camp." Zorana looked at her companions again. Sten grunted his acknowledgement and the dog rose to his feet, giving a little shake before jogging a bit in front of them.
Zorana felt the temperature drop even as the first of the large, dry flakes started falling from the sky. She shivered as the cold tried to seep even farther into her woolen cloak and through her armor. Looking over to the hooded figure next to her, she could see the snowflakes sticking to Sten's cloak and pack.
"Let's see if we can find some kind of shelter before this worsens." Sten nodded and the two of them started scouting the area looking for something suitable, staying in sight of each other.
Even as they looked it started to snow harder, dusk was approaching quickly and the temperature taking a nasty dip downwards.
Zorana called out, "Sten! Here." She was standing under a pine tree, close to the base. It wasn't ideal but the snow was less here and it offered the promise of some kind of protection against what was coming.
Sten un-shouldered the pack, quickly untying the tent from it as Zorana's stiff and frozen fingers worked at the knot holding the oil tarp in place on her own pack. Glancing in her direction, Sten reached over and undid the knot for her. Nodding her gratitude Zorana spread it out on the ground, staking it in place with a rock as Sten worked around her to pitch the tent. Zorana was getting cold and fast. There hadn't been much sun in the sky to start with and now that it was setting there was no warmth at all. She looked around trying to determine if there was enough to start a fire when she caught a glimpse of Sten's face. The big man worked quietly but she could see how he flexed his hands after he tied off a rope and his lips looked a little blue.
It was difficult to tell if she could make a fire that would last with what was under the tree and it was snowing so hard now that she didn't trust not getting lost in it if they ventured very far to gather wood.
"There is no time, Kadan. Come." Sten said gruffly as if he could read her thoughts.
She turned to see him trying to unbuckle his armor, setting it behind the tent close to the base of the tree. She came over to him and helped him as well as she could when her own fingers didn't want to obey her. It took longer than it should have to strip down to their tunics and breeches and when they were done the cloaks they wore were little protection against the bitterness of the cold.
"Where's Helix?" Zorana asked when Sten opened the tent flap and indicated she should enter.
For a brief moment Zorana thought she saw concern flicker across Sten's stern features. In their preoccupation, they had lost sight of him.
"He will come, he's strong." Sten said as he crawled into the tent with her. Taking their blankets and unfolding them, they wrapped up and lay down. Zorana tried to still her shuddering waiting for her cloak and blanket to warm enough to start keeping her warm.
She didn't know how long they lay like that, cold and withdrawn into their own thoughts. She wondered if the others had time to make a better camp than theirs or were they too freezing somewhere on the mountain. Zorana looked over into Sten's face, his lips were bluer now and she swore she saw him tremble.
"You are cold." She said it simply, even as her own teeth chattered.
She watched him studying her face, taking his time to answer. "Yes." He said it reluctantly, like he was afraid to admit any weakness to her. She also knew they were in trouble if he was cold. Throughout their journey Sten had been the only one of them to not show outward signs that the elements bothered or affected him. Even when it was pouring down rain, he bore it well even as his shoulders steamed through his cloak. He was also the only one of them brave enough to wash up in the icy cold streams they'd encountered.
In the alienage they had not had access to much firewood or coal to burn in the winters. When it was too cold she would curl up in bed with her father and sometimes cousin with the blankets stacked on top of them to keep the cold out.
Zorana sat up, removing her blanket. "Sit up." Sten did what she asked while he watched her work to spread the blanket on top of the oil tarp. Taking the end, he worked it under his knees. Looking over to him she assessed him from head to foot. "Take your clothes off."
"Warden." Sten's face said he did not approve.
"We will produce more heat together if we aren't keeping our clothes warm too. Take them off." Zorana's expression said she wasn't accepting arguments. She had begun to have thoughts that they could really die on this mountain, frozen to death before morning came.
They stripped down to their smallclothes, trying to ignore the persistence of the cold until they were laying side by side, their clothes pushed under their heads for pillows and their wet socks between the blanket on the floor and the tarp, his blanket and their cloaks piled on top of them. Zorana shivered harder against the hard plains of muscle that were against her back. She could feel Sten likewise shivering; he wasn't as cold as she was and the little heat he was giving was helping to chase her own coldness away. With any luck they would be able to create a feed back cycle and get warm.
They lay there in silence, his arm and thigh over her body while she listened to the snow making a dry scraping sound on the tent side.
"Don't go to sleep Sten." Zorana felt him nod against her head.
The dark descended until she couldn't see anything inside the tent, her mind spinning now that she had warmed up over what had happened to Helix. It was killing her that she didn't know where he was or if he was freezing somewhere out there.
Zorana woke suddenly to the whining that was coming from the closed tent flap. She must have drifted off at some point, the warmth of their bodies finally lulling her to sleep.
"Helix?" She murmured. The whining became louder and more insistent.
Zorana slid halfway out of the blanket, the cold air hitting her like a mace, and opened the flap. One snow covered and shivering hound greeted her. Her concern flared when she saw how miserable he was. Quickly brushing the majority of the snow from him she chastised. "Where have you been?"
Helix looked behind him to two rabbits lying behind him. "Fine time to be hunting, foolish dog. You could have gotten lost and frozen to death!" Helix hung his head looking shame faced.
The cold was starting to get to Zorana again. "Come on, before you get any worse." She pulled him into the tent and closed it up behind him. She opened the blanket up to him down by their feet, bracing for the coldness even as she sucked in her breath at the contact.
Sten grunted behind her as Helix's cold head rested on his shins. Zorana covered him up until just his muzzle and eyes could be seen and settled herself closer to Sten.
"He will be okay." Sten asked her as she settled in.
"I think so, once he warms up." Sten put his arm back around her as she shivered again, she had most of Helix's body pressed against her and he was taking the hard earned warmth she'd had.
"Good."
In time they drifted back into an uncomfortable sleep. Zorana kept waking, the discomfort from being unable to move waking her, or a noise, or the cold, mostly is was her worry that she would wake to find one of them dead or not wake herself.
At one point she woke as Sten shifted the absence of his warmth noticeable when Helix was warming her legs so well. Sten's breathing had changed from that of sleep to what she'd seen him do when he was meditating. Suddenly she stiffened. Is that…..? She kept her eyes closed and focused her attention to where the large, twitching hardness could be felt against her bottom. Zorana felt herself at a loss. She wasn't ignorant of what happened to men in their sleep sometimes, but this was the first time she'd ever experienced it for herself. And…it's STEN! She just didn't think these kinds of things happened to him, he always seemed so in control that it never occurred to her that he might have involuntary reactions.
She lay there stiffly unsure if she should scoot away some, continue to lay where she was or say something. It was a bit unsettling.
"Ignore it." Sten said gruffly as Zorana tried to pull away from that part of him. He tightened his arm in a silent request to stop moving.
Ignore it? Easier said than done when it's flexing all over my ass. Zorana couldn't help but take notice when he reached down and repositioned himself so that his hardness was pressed between them, it twitching and pulsing against her lower back. That it was big enough to do that gave rise to thoughts that Zorana didn't want to entertain but were still intruding on her effort to "ignore it".
Sten went back to his breathing exercises, his heart slowing against her back. Zorana paid attention to what he was doing in the dark. In time she felt his ardor recede and she relaxed with it. She was embarrassed that she wished it hadn't because she was curious and the womanly parts of her were giving her thoughts entirely inappropriate to the situation.
"Do you have a wife Sten?" She asked.
"I do not know this word Kadan."
Zorana thought about it and remembered what he'd said about Qunari not having families like she knew them.
"A woman. Do you have a woman waiting for you?" She asked instead.
"No. The Qunari do not mate for love." He said flatly, indicating that he did not wish to pursue this farther.
"Sten?" Zorana asked some time later. She heard him grumble behind her. "I have a question."
"That is unsurprising." Sten inwardly cursed at his loss of self-control. He had been so tired once he warmed up and had allowed himself to fall into a deep sleep, allowing himself to relax fully. He respected the Warden and preferred spending time with her over many of the others. She didn't talk much, preferring to listen and think on what their next course of action should be but she was curious about his culture and seemed to never tire of hearing about his homeland. He enjoyed her interest but he had the feeling that he wasn't going to like where her curiosity had taken her questions this time.
"Sten?" She prompted waiting. He realized then he had taken a long time to reply to her.
"Ask it then."
"If the Qunari don't mate for love, what do your people do when their physical urges grow greater than they can keep control of?" Zorana asked.
Sten thought about it for a long minute. "They are put into the breeding program."
Zorana made a harrumph sound unsatisfied. He'd told her a little about that. "Surely that isn't efficient or in line with what the Ben-Hassrath desire? What about the human and elven peoples?" Zorana was sure, if what she'd observed over her life was any indication, that those races didn't have the same level of control over themselves as the kossith people did.
"Pashara!" Sten gruffed. He shifted uncomfortably next to her.
Zorana was starting to think he wasn't going to answer her when he said. "There is a role for everyone within the Qun. Even so, the Qun recognizes that the peoples it governs also have….urges…that are not always stilled easily. If a Qunari cannot control those urges by focusing that energy into their work they can volunteer for a short time in a…" Sten paused searching for a word she might understand. "a—temple for others who are suffering from the same affliction."
Zorana thought about that for a few minutes, the image of several bodies writhing naked together popping into her mind. She felt her groin warm up. If Zevran knew that he'd probably convert. She suppressed the urge to snicker. Then she had a thought.
"Have you ever participated in this…temple?" She didn't know why she was asking and his reproving growl made her wish she could take the question back.
"No." She was grateful she couldn't see his face as his body had stiffened and his tone was unfriendly.
Zorana realized why quickly. "Is it considered shameful Sten? To be unable to master your desires?" She felt him startle slightly.
"We are not like the peoples of this land, Kadan. We do not allow our base desires to control us. To do so leads to chaos. There is no room in the Qun for chaos. The Qun understands that the lesser races cannot help themselves and is there to guide them in their weakness. The Kossith are not lesser, we are the examples. We are the Qun." But even as he said it, he knew he had lost his way in the Qun while in this foreign land. He had shamefully lost his sword and he had killed innocents in his rage, he had lost control, he had lost the Qun. He sighed, working the blanket higher onto his shoulder and shifting his leg under the dog's head. He meditated every night finding the Qun again and working to be worthy of it. It was not easy when he was alone in this land that was full of chaos and disorder. The Warden was a great comfort as she too followed the basic edicts of the Qun whether she knew it or not and he drew strength from that.
Zorana placed a hand on his hip and patted apologetically. "I'm sorry Sten I offended."
He curled into the warmth of her back. "You did not do so knowingly Kadan." As if that settled it.
But Zorana kept thinking as she lay there listening into the night if he had ever had a woman. What if he was like her who had never known what physical intimacy was like?
"Sten" She paused uncertain she wanted to keep harassing him but she suddenly wanted to know. "Were you ever included in the breeding program?"
"Yes." He answered simply.
"That's good." She said as she yawned and relaxed near sleep.
Her answer surprised Sten and he found himself wanting an answer of his own. "Is it?"
Zorana smiled to herself. "Yes. You are an excellent warrior Sten and honorable. You are also intelligent and willing to take orders from someone like me even as you stand next to me helping to improve my leadership abilities. It speaks well of you. That you are caring in your own way balances you. It seems a waste to not pass those qualities on to a new generation."
As the Warden's breathing evened out again Sten realized that she had just paid him a very large compliment. He also found himself wondering if she had shared her unique qualities with her community. He thought about the months they'd spent on the road and the advances of the other Warden and the Antivan. She'd refused them both and put them both back into their places as her subordinates. His esteem of her had risen when she'd not debased herself when the opportunity had presented itself. She'd made herself worthy of their respect, of his respect. It was unusual from what he'd seen in this country where it seemed as if people rutted like animal with each other indiscriminately. Suddenly he wondered if she were a maiden and mentally frowned at the jolt the thought aroused in loins.
Sten awoke in the early dawn hours to find himself as stiff as he had been in the night next to the Warden that had suddenly also grown stiff. She was rubbing her thighs together slightly and as he shifted a waft of warm air wafted across his face from beneath the blanket. He could smell his own scent and that of the Warden but there was something more, something that he hadn't smelled in a long, long time.
Zorana held perfectly still, her hand clenched between her thighs. Sten had woken up and she desperately didn't want him to know that she was trying to curb her own rampant desires as he slept. She'd been painfully aware of him most of the morning and his current condition. His smallclothes hadn't done much to contain him and at some point he'd slipped free and the hard, thick length of him had pressed down the split of her buttock and between her thighs. She'd woken to feel him pressing against her womanly bits through her smallclothes and found herself in a state of arousal in response. She'd gone to remove him and told herself that she would not disrespect either of them by doing more than that but found she was having a problem with impulse control once her hand had come into contact with the velvety flesh of his manhood.
She'd kept herself apart for her whole life, refusing to be like so many of the other elves in the alienge. She'd taken care of her own desires and learned weapons in secret, waiting for the day when she could escape the alienage and make more of herself. She'd had the opportunity since Duncan recruited her to give away her maidenhead but it never seems right to do so and she'd refused. She's refused Alistair and Zevran and even Leliana not because she didn't like them but because she didn't want to lose respect or have her authority questioned. She was green in many areas but she knew she was the one who was charged with completing their task. She wished she could count on Alistair more, but until he was ready to accept that responsibility it was her duty and she would do it.
But now she found herself laying against someone who could understand her and she was ready to dishonor herself because her damnable body was being touched in places no one but her had ever touched before. She had touched him lightly, carefully, curiously while he slept and her body had clenched at the thought of what he would feel like inside her. When she had felt him stirring awake she had quickly made the necessary adjustments to free him from the clench of her thighs but not removed her hand in hopes he would go back to sleep and she could find completion.
This was not a situation Sten had found himself before. The last time he had lain with a female it had been at the orders of the Tamarassan and with a female that was not known to him. He had slept close to his brethren before but they were all males and thus uncomfortable issues did not arise. Sten was certain the Warden was aroused and, considering his state, wondered if he was acting inappropriately toward her while they slept.
"I...apologize Warden." Sten said awkwardly as he started to roll over onto his other side. Helix grumbled as Sten dislodged his head from its resting place.
"Go to sleep Sten." Zorana said hoarsely, her teeth only slightly clenched. Her body was aching and throbbing and demanding release. Outside of getting up now and trying to make their way in the near dark she was going to be forced to suffer through this.
Sten concentrated on locating and isolating the muscles that would release the blood trapped in the organ that had refused to be still this night, the task was made no easier by the small undulations of the Warden next to him and the occasional small sound that would escape from her. He wasn't sure what she was doing but she sounded distressed and the smell of arousal had increased.
"Warden?" Sten's tone carried a certain amount of concern.
Zorana stilled again, frustrated and embarrassed. She had thought he'd gone back to sleep at her command. "It's nothing Sten."
Sten turned to lie against her again, running his hand down her arm to where her hand rested. He touched it, feeling dampness there. Huffing against her hair he said. "I see." His own evident arousal lengthened and twitched in response. Running a hand over her hip, he pulled Zorana against and into his groin so she could feel what was there.
"Sten?" Zorana asked hesitantly, not quite certain what he was offering.
"Pashara Warden." Sten took her hand and put it on him. Zorana wondered if he could feel her shock. Zorana gripped him loosely, running curious fingers over him.
They lay there and he let her touch him as she wanted, eventually his hand had come to cup her breast and he squeezed it periodically in response to something she'd done as she caressed him.
Zorana was getting bolder and her want was insisting that there be more than her touching him. She released him and adjusted her own smallclothes until she could feel him against her skin. She lifted her hips and took him between her thighs, the hot length of him rubbing against her petals and little nub each time she undulated her hips. Sten grunted when she shivered. He felt nice and what they were doing felt good to Zorana and she was pleased that Sten would undulate with her and did not seem as if he was hating her touch. But she wanted more as the ache within her grew.
Sten felt her coating him with her wetness and he tried to not think too much on why they were allowing this to happen. It was plain that she needed this, but did he? Helix groaned his discontent at being jostled so much until he squirmed away from their legs some, pulling the top covering with him; he cracked an eye before closing it again and ignoring them.
Sten lost his train of thought for a moment as Zorana reached down and repositioned him to press against the entrance of her body. She sighed with the pleasure of the contact reveling in the pressure against her and the touch sending excited shots of pleasure right to her brain. She pushed back and down on him until she felt him resting against the barrier. As she started to stretch open she stopped, for the first time really considering what she was doing.
Sten's breathing had increased and he had a large hand on her hip, squeezing tightly. He held himself in check even when he wanted nothing more than to split her open and sink himself in her. Right now she was not Kadan and he was not the Sten, they were just male and female.
Zorana trembled as she perched on the end of him, her body stubbornly refusing to open and allow him entrance easily. She tried pushing harder, to no avail. Her body stopped itself when it felt the barrier try to tear, that she was trying to bring something larger than normal into her wasn't helping matters. Sten felt her tense and try again only to tense once more. With an animalistic satisfaction he realized he'd been correct and there had been no other.
Stilling her movements he growled in her ear, "Yes?" while pushing against her.
Zorana caught her breath at the jolt of searing pleasure/pain of it. Gripping his wrist she whispered, "Yes." She yelped when he pushed past the blockage, tearing it and the tender tissue surrounding the area. Even as the pain washed up through her abdomen and chest she could feel the fullness he was offering and the strange pleasure of something resting inside her. She sucked in another breath as he withdrew slightly, a wave of pleasure chasing the pain away as he settled into her again. Not far, just far enough to rub on all the right spots.
It was an effort for Sten to keep himself to slow, slight motions. Her body was untested and his lust was getting the better of him. He didn't want to hurt her, but she was small and slight compared to him and he could break her if he let go. He pushed into her farther, trying to find where she ended and try to not go past it. When he found it the woman in his arms was audibly moaning her pleasure and her sounds were flaming his own ardor. Sten slid a hand to her thigh and brought it on top of his thigh, feeling himself sink a little more into her. She couldn't take him all but she was so tight that he felt her like a gauntlet wrapped around him. Sten grunted when she flexed around him and pressed into her a little more.
Zorana had started to thrust against him, her little nub rubbing him with every thrust. She felt herself building to climax in a new way. Before it had come from outside of her, now, with this hardness inside her she was reaching for a peak that threatened to collapse on her any minute. Sten started to match her and they fell into a rhythm that was quickly speeding Zorana up the peak. She thrust her hand between her legs and started rubbing herself. Sten, feeling her fingers, took her a little harder until he could feel a building deep in his groin that signaled his impending release.
Zorana rode the sensations, all thought driven far from her mind. She was just body, and touch, and feeling. She cried out loudly, eyes shut tight, writhing and then going prone as her entire body shook and clenched with release. Hearing, smelling, and feeling Zorana reach ecstasy sped Sten up and he fell right after her, a feral sound escaping him from deep in his throat. His eyes closed and he savored his own enjoyment, every sensation more sensitive than the last. He rocked into her a few more times to her moans before stopping.
They lay there, catching their breath, quiet now save for the snuffles of Helix at their feet. Zorana's body felt liquid and she would have liked to keep lying joined together if Sten's partially aroused member wasn't starting to cause some discomfort. She flinched slightly as he came free of her and she could fully feel the slight burning their exertions had left behind. They said nothing to one another as Zorana studied the side of the tent, noticing that it was full light now and the snow had stopped.
"We should go." She said as she thought about the day ahead. She wondered if she should say something about what transpired but couldn't think of a thing that seemed appropriate.
Sten sat up, "Agreed."
They dressed quickly, the day cold but not as bad as the day before. Zorana stuck her head out the tent, grabbing her cloak and quickly pulling it on. The rabbits Helix had left were frozen solid and Zorana started to gather what she could find to start a fire so that they could eat something warm before leaving. Their tent teardown went quickly and she was thankful the snow was dry and was easy to brush off their gear. She and Sten worked quickly, efficiently not having to talk to get the job done. Helix bounded around in the fresh snow like a puppy, rolling around periodically before looking in her direction with a happy face. As they worked Zorana looked at Sten a little longer than she needed to, wondering again if she should say something.
When they had a fire going, rabbits roasting and geared taken care of and packed she took out an old map and studied it. Sten watched her over the fire again; he questioned whether he had permanently lost his way in the Qun. He didn't feel shame, exactly, at what they had done but he kept asking himself why he allowed it to happen in the first place. The Warden, for her part, and to his relief seemed content to let the issue lie.
When they were ready Sten and Helix started off through the trees. Zorana took a look around the campsite, looking for anything that might be left. She looked up into the sky, clear and blue.
"Kadan." Sten called back to her. She met his eyes across the distance, nodding.
