A/N: This is my very first story. I've been a longtime reader on this site but never really felt like writing anything before now. This story was inspired by an incredible fic I read with a similar premise called "Like One of Their Own" by Lady Elena Dawson. It was a PLL story about Spencer and Toby taking care of Aria and Ezra's daughter after they died. I felt like that sort of scenario would be a wonderful AU type of story to do with Lane and Zack taking care of Rory's daughter. I'm not sure if a story like this has already been done in the Gilmore Girls section so sorry if it has! This is just a one-shot but hopefully you will enjoy my version :) And sorry for the first draft of this story that had Zack as Zach! My autocorrect kept changing it.
Disclaimer: I do not own Gilmore Girls.
Lane had just put her eight-year-old twins to bed when she got the call.
She cheerfully said hello to Lorelai, expecting her best friend's mother was calling about some crazy happenings from the town meeting she'd missed earlier in the evening, but within seconds, Lane learned the true nature of the call.
The phone she was holding fell to the floor as tears ran down her cheeks. Lane frantically picked up the fallen phone and called her mother, managing to get Mrs. Kim over to her house to watch the sleeping boys in a matter of minutes.
She cried as she told her mother and Zack the news, then ran with her husband out to the car, and floored it to the hospital.
"Lorelai!" Lane exclaimed, spotting her best friend's mother across the room as soon as she walked in. "What happened?"
The older Gilmore woman's eyes filled with tears as she took in a deep breath. "Rory was in a car accident. And it's bad, Lane. It's really bad."
"What about Grace? Where's Grace?" Lane asked with terror in her eyes, wondering what the fate of her best friend's six-year-old daughter was. Grace's father had been killed in a similar accident shortly after Rory found out she was pregnant and the eerie similarity was almost too much for Lane to handle.
"She's okay. She's at home. Katie, that nice girl from Stars Hollow High is watching her."
Lane looked around the room and realized half the town was crouched into the small hospital waiting room. But it really wasn't surprising. Rory was beloved by everyone in Stars Hollow.
As a doctor made eye contact with Lorelai, everyone braced themselves for the news.
Lane felt a small amount of hope rising up through her body, but it flat-lined the minute she saw the doctor shake his head and heard Lorelai break into hysterical sobs.
Lane felt numb, like all the air had been sucked out of her body and knocked back into her in one swoop. Her best friend was dead. And her best friend's daughter was without either of her parents.
• • •
Several days later, Lorelai, Luke, Lane and Zack gathered in the office of Stars Hollow's one and only lawyer to read Rory's will. Grace's father's parents were deceased as well so it was just the four of them. Lane had a hunch about why she was there. After all, she and Rory had made a promise to each other when they were in the tenth grade, but Lorelai was a much better fit for what she was thinking. There was no way Rory had chosen her.
When it came to the custody portion, Lane felt like she was having an out-of-body experience. The lawyer read the words directly from Rory's will, "In the event of life-altering circumstances such as death, imprisonment, et cetera of Lorelai (Rory) Leigh Gilmore, custody of Grace Lorelai Gilmore is put in the hands of Lane Van Gerbig and Zack Van Gerbig."
"What?" Lane asked, shocked, looking over at Lorelai. She expected Rory's mother to be upset, but she found that Lorelai had a small smile on her face.
"I'll give you four a moment," the lawyer said as he stepped out of the office.
"I just... I don't understand why she picked me," Lane said, tears running down her face. "I always assumed that if anything like this happened, you'd be the one she'd want to take care of Grace. She was partially named after you for God's sake!"
"Lane," Lorelai said, looking at her daughter's best friend with a mixture of love, sadness, and understanding in her eyes, emotion thick in her voice. "Rory loved you. She loved you so much. You were her best friend in the entire world. And yes, I was a damn good mother if I do say so myself and I raised an amazing kid, but look at you. Look at how you've handled raising Steve and Kwan and working and everything else you have on your plate. I don't think you give yourself enough credit. And I think Rory knew this too because by entrusting you with Grace, she is making it clear that even if you doubt yourself, she absolutely does not. The lawyer gave this to me when we got here before you arrived," she said, handing Lane a small envelope. "Rory wrote you a letter before she—" Lorelai became too choked up to finish her sentence.
"Thank you," Lane said, shakily taking the envelope out of Lorelai's hands.
As soon as she returned home, Lane locked herself in the bathroom and began reading the last words her best friend would ever say to her.
Lane,
If you're reading this, it means something terrible has happened to me. How morbid, right? But I need you to read this. By now, you've probably been made aware that I have entrusted Grace's care to you. And you might be surprised that I've done this instead of turning over her care to my mom. It's true, Mom and Luke would do an amazing job raising Grace. But Lane, so will you and Zack. I don't know if I've ever told you how much I admire you. I've seen you care for your children with absolute love and protectiveness and joy. Before I became a mother, I used to look at you and think "Wow, how lucky am I to know this incredible woman? How lucky am I to call her my best friend?" I could only hope that one day, I would become half the mother you are.
Do you remember that time when Steve and Kwan were five and Grace was three? We were all at the park and some weird looking guy was taking pictures of the kids? You jumped up from the bench we were sitting on, grabbed Steve and Kwan and chased after the man with a five-year-old boy wrapped around each of your hips. After you yelled at him over and over again in Korean, he sank down to the ground in defeat. That's when we realized it was actually Kirk and he wasn't taking pictures of the kids, he was taking pictures of a dog in the background, Snuggles something or other. But still, you took his camera and deleted any pictures that had Steve, Kwan, or Grace even partially in view. And when you chased after Kirk like a madwoman, I had this strange moment of understanding. You would do anything for your kids. And you would also do anything for mine.
I remember all the nights I'd come over crying to the tiny little apartment you and Zack used to have after Grace was born because I couldn't get her to breastfeed or I put her onesie on inside out or I couldn't sleep at all because I'd be so paranoid she would somehow suffocate to death in the middle of the night. You'd calm me down, tell Zack you were going out for a bit, settle Grace into her car seat, and drive me back home. And you'd sit up with me all night in Grace's nursery just staring at her, making sure she was breathing. And you never once complained about it, because you got it. You understood that motherly instinct that makes you terrified of anything happening to your child. You would sit up all night with me in my daughter's bedroom without complaint, despite the fact that you had to work in the morning and the inevitable fact that Zack would mess up Steve and Kwan's lunches for school the next day. But you stayed with me. You stayed with me and you held me as I cried and you told me it was all going to be okay. And that's when I realized that you were without a doubt, the person I wanted to entrust my child's life and care to.
I love you, Lane. I love you so much. And I hate the fact that I'm gone and won't be able to have late-night conversations with you out on your porch or take our kids to the silly town festivals. And I absolutely hate that I can't help you through this time. Because I know that my not being around anymore is hard on you. I know this because I saw how hard you cried when I left for Yale. You didn't think I saw you and you tried to be discreet about it, but I saw you completely break down through the rear view mirror of Luke's truck. And I was only going a short distance away then. So I know that this, this is hitting you really hard. But Lane, you are going to be okay. You are going to make it through this. Because you're strong. You're so strong. And you have so many people on this planet who love you like Zack and Steve and Kwan and your mom and Brian and Grace and my mom and Luke. Let them love you, Lane. Hug your boys a little tighter. And hug my girl for me. Tell her I love her. And that I'm sorry. And that I miss her. But tell her that she has a new mom now. And I don't mean that in some morbid, I'm being replaced kind of way. But I mean it in the way that you know exactly what I mean without me even having to say it. It's what we agreed upon back in the 10th grade. If we ever had kids and something happened to us, the other one of us who was still okay would take care of our kids and raise them as their own.
Maybe Grace will start off calling you and Zack, Aunt Lane and Uncle Zack. But I hope that eventually, she will come to see you as her parents, as Mom and Dad. I know that she won't forget about me, she won't forget about how much I love her. But I don't want her forever holding onto the fact that her mother is dead. I want her to realize that her mother is the woman who raised her for the majority of her life. Her mother is the woman who loves her endlessly, and has loved her as such even before she became her mother. I've always known how much you've loved Grace. You were there holding my hand through the twenty hours of labor and by the time they laid Grace on my chest, you were crying more than I was. Take care of my baby, Lane. Teach her about life and music and movies. Hey, maybe she'll even end up joining a secret band.
I'm sorry that I can't be Steve and Kwan's Lorelai Gilmore anymore. But you do have the real thing just a few streets over. And I know what you're thinking, but she's not mad that I chose you. I promise you that. She gets it. When I made up my will, I talked to her about my choice. And we both cried and had a long conversation, but she 100% agreed with me. You are the best person for the job. My mom loves you too, you know. She is still your Lorelai Gilmore. And she will be Steve and Kwan's and Grace's too. She is more than prepared to pull double duty and take on three grandchildren. She loves your boys as much as you love Grace. And I know that you're both hurting right now, but you can help each other. Check in on her sometimes, please. Take Grace over there and sit on the big porch swing and ask my mom how she's doing. And don't let her give you a superficial answer. Because she's going to try to hide how she's really feeling, and I know you do that too. My mom isn't me, I know that. But she is about as close as you're going to get. Everything wonderful about me, it comes from her. And I know that you two will be able to help each other get through anything.
When she's old enough, let Grace read this letter. I want her to know why I picked my best friend to be her mom. I want her to know how much I love her and how much I love you and Zack and your boys. I want her to know that there wasn't even a question in my mind as to who should take care of her. It was always you.
Thank you for being my best friend, Lane. Thank you for teaching me how to be a mother. Thank you for taking care of my baby girl. I love you so much.
Rory
• • •
Grace didn't fully understand what was happening at the funeral. The adults didn't know how to explain it to her, so they settled on: Your mom didn't want to leave you, but unfortunately she had to go away.
Grace seemed to accept that answer, nodding slowly as she held onto her grandmother's hand.
After the funeral, Lorelai told Grace that she was going to live in a special place that her mom had picked out just for her. That made the little girl's mood lighten ever so slightly.
She took a liking to Steve and Kwan almost instantly. The boys were close to her in age and understood as much about death as she did, so she didn't feel like she was out of the loop when she was around them. When the boys told her she would be coming to live with them and their parents, she nodded once, took a deep breath, and followed her new family to their car.
"This is my new house?" Grace asked with fear in her eyes as she entered the Van Gerbig residence.
"Yeah!" Lane exclaimed, picking the smaller girl up and settling her on her hip. "You get your own room and everything!"
"Okay," the six-year-old said meekly.
"What's wrong sweetie?"
"I miss my Mommy" Grace said as she started sobbing.
"Oh, honey. I miss her too," Lane said, emotion thick in her throat. "I miss her so much. Your Mommy was my best friend. Did you know that?"
"Yes," Grace said, a small smile appearing on her face. "She always told me that if she ever had to go away, I would come to live with you."
"That's right!" Lane said, hugging the girl tighter.
"What do I call you?" Grace asked nervously.
"You can call me whatever you want."
"Maybe I will just say your name for now."
Lane nodded as she kissed the top of the little girl's head.
"What about the boys?" Grace asked. "Are they my brothers now?"
"Yeah," Lane said happily. "They are. Except the big one."
"The big one," Grace giggled with a smile. "He will just be Zack then."
• • •
It was Grace's tenth birthday. Steve and Kwan were nearly teenagers and had grown quite protective of the younger girl. She was very quiet and stayed in her room a lot, but she talked to her brothers more than anyone else in the house.
"You can call them Mom and Dad, you know," Kwan said, straightening out the party hat on his head.
"Yeah, they're you're parents too," Steve added, blowing up a balloon.
"I don't know," Grace responded with a sigh, hugging her knees closer to her chest. "I know they love me, but it feels weird. I still feel like I don't really belong here."
Lane was walking down the hallway when she overheard the conversation her kids were having and it broke her heart.
She told Zack what she'd overheard, her voice full of sadness. "What are we going to do?" Lane asked him as she put the finishing touches on Grace's birthday cake.
"All we can do is continue to show her that she does belong here. Show her how much we love her," Zack replied, bringing his wife into a hug.
"But we've been doing that and she still doesn't believe it," Lane said, the desperation evident in her voice.
"She's got a wall up, babe. That little girl has been through a lot losing Rory the way she did. And then she had to move into a new home and suddenly got this entirely new family. I know it's been quite a few years and she still hasn't opened up to us, but the counselor says we just have to give her time and be patient."
"You're right." Lane said, nodding.
• • •
It was the day of Steve and Kwan's high school graduation. The twin boys came down the stairs in their matching blue cap and gowns to Lane's endless stream of flash photography.
"My babies are all grown up!" Lane exclaimed as she continued taking pictures.
"Grace, that'll be you in a couple years," Zack said as he gave her a big smile.
"Yeah, Zack," Grace said with a huff, annoyance growing in her voice. "I know. I've been counting down the days until I'm free of this stupid town."
Lane and Zack shared an uneasy glance. By the time Grace became a teenager, she was increasingly short with them. Steve and Kwan, she let in without question, almost immediately considering them her brothers. But as for the older Van Gerbig's, Grace hardly even gave them the time of day, and when she did, she was always less than enthusiastic.
"Yo, sis!" Kwan exclaimed. "Come take a picture with your bros!"
"Alright, alright! I'm here." Grace said happily, snaking her arms around her brother's shoulders.
"When did you get so tall?" Steve asked, incredulously.
"She's wearing those monstrosities on her feet, dude," Kwan replied, pointing to his sister's high heels.
"Oh yeah, to impress her little boyfriend," Steve said as the boys started making kissing noises.
"Okay stop!" Grace said with a laugh. "He's not my boyfriend and these shoes aren't for him. I just don't like being short, that's all."
Lane's stomach tightened at the mention of a boyfriend. She couldn't help but realize that Grace was now the same age Lorelai was when she got pregnant with Rory. Lane and Zach had had "the talk" with Grace, but she just rolled her eyes all the way through it. And Grace didn't share things about her life with anyone in the house except for Steve and Kwan, but Lane highly doubted she'd be sharing aspects of her romantic life with her brothers.
"Zack, can you help me grab the second camera from the attic? I want to make sure we have a backup in case this one dies," Lane said, desperate to distract herself from her thoughts.
"Women," Zack said with a laugh as he followed Lane up the stairs.
After watching his parents walk upstairs, Steve went on a hunt for his misplaced cell phone while Grace sat down on the couch and pulled her knees up to her a chest, a telltale sign that she was upset.
"Hey," Kwan said as he took in Grace's sullen face. "Why so glum?"
"I'm just going to miss you guys is all," Grace said with a shrug of her shoulders.
"We don't leave for another three months, sis," Kwan said, taking a seat next to Grace on the couch.
"Yeah, but once you do, that's it. I'm all alone again."
Kwan pondered this for a moment, wondering how she couldn't see what was right in front of her. "But you're not alone. You have Mom and Dad."
"Zack and Lane and I don't exactly get along, in case you haven't noticed," Grace deadpanned.
Kwan felt a little frustrated at his sister's resistance toward their parents. "I've noticed that you take every opportunity you have to shut them out. You have since you were six years old. We've told you before and we'll tell you again. They are your parents too, Grace. They love you just as much as your mother did. And you're going to need them when we're gone."
Grace's eyes filled with tears for a moment before she quickly shook her head, stood up, and headed towards the car. "We don't want to be late for the ceremony."
• • •
Steve and Kwan were heading off to college. Both boys had chosen colleges on the West Coast and received full scholarships. Steve was headed off to UCLA's Business School and Kwan was studying music at UC Berkeley.
Grace cried and cried as she hugged her brothers goodbye at the airport and sulked the entire car ride home. She wouldn't even look at Lane or Zack, let alone talk to them.
After she'd been crying in her room for four hours straight, Lane knocked on Grace's door and let herself in.
"Hi, honey," Lane said. "How are you doing?"
"How does it look like I'm doing?" Grace replied sarcastically.
"Not too good," Lane replied with a light laugh, sitting at the edge of Grace's bed.
"I miss them," Grace said after a long pause. "I miss them so much."
"Oh, Grace. We miss them too. But you're not alone here. Zack and I are here for you. We will always be here for you."
"I know you say that. You've always said that. But how can you know that for sure? My mom promised me the same thing and look what happened to her!" Grace nearly screamed.
It was in this moment that Lane saw cracks beginning to form in the sturdy wall this beautiful 16-year-old girl had put up nearly ten years ago. Lane's breath caught in her throat as she stared into Grace's bright blue eyes and realized how much she looked like Rory with her long brown locks and pale complexion.
"Grace, what happened to your mother was a terrible, terrible accident," Lane said through her tears. "She didn't choose to leave you. If she could, she would be here with you right now, holding your hand and comforting you, but she can't. Zack and I love you so much, honey. And I know that you might not believe us because you've put up this wall to protect yourself from getting hurt, but we've been here for ten years. We will be here for as long as humanly possible. If we didn't love you or want you around, we wouldn't have taken you in and raised you as our daughter."
Grace nodded her head and wiped the tears from her eyes but Lane sensed that she still didn't believe anything from their conversation. Then, an idea popped into Lane's head.
"I'll be right back," Lane said as she went to receive something she hadn't looked at in years.
"What's this?" Grace asked as Lane returned and handed her an envelope.
"Your mother wrote this to me just before she died. It was given to me on the day of her accident. She told me to let you read it once you were old enough, and I think you're old enough now."
Grace nodded as she began opening the envelope.
"I'll give you some privacy," Lane said as she kissed the top of Grace's head. "Goodnight, Grace. I love you."
Lane hesitated for a second, watching Grace's facial expressions as she began to read the letter, before closing the door and heading back to her own room.
• • •
Not having Steve and Kwan to talk to on a daily basis made Grace realize how much she really needed someone to lean on. And reading her mother's letter helped her see how much Rory adored Lane and Zach, and how much she wanted Grace to adore them too.
Grace came to the conclusion that if her mother and her brothers and her grandparents and the entire town thought that they were such amazing people, there had to be an overwhelming amount of truth to that. And over the next two years, Grace began to open up to Lane and Zack, slowly but surely. She confessed that she really did love them, she was just afraid to show it.
Being open with her brothers was easier, she told them. It was the caregiver figures that were difficult for her to trust. She was used to parental figures being taken away from her and had expected it to happen again with Lane and Zack. But after nearly twelve years, she finally began to realize that they weren't going anywhere without a fight.
Grace decided that she wanted to be near her family and friends when she went off to college, so she accepted a place at Yale, her mother's alma mater. She had applied without telling anyone, unsure about whether or not she'd get in, but Lane, Zack, Luke, and Lorelai all broke down into tears when she told them the good news.
It was finally the day of Grace's high school graduation and Steve and Kwan had flown back from California to be there for their sister's big day.
"Sis!" Kwan called, spotting his sister in her cap and gown, caught in a crowd of graduates embracing their families after the ceremony.
"You did it!" Steve said, trailing behind his brother.
The boys both engulfed their sister into a hug. "And valedictorian, no less! We're so proud of you!"
"Thanks, guys! I'm so glad you came back for this!"
"We'll always come back for you, you know that." Steve said, ruffling Grace's hair.
"Do you want to see any of your friends before we go?" Kwan asked, looking around.
"Nah, I saw everyone I needed to see already. I just want to go home," Grace said with a smile.
"Cool, let's go then! Grandpa Luke's got an awesome spread of food waiting for us. And I know Grandma Lorelai can't wait to see all of us," Kwan said as he raced his brother to the car.
"I'll catch up with you guys," Grace called after her brothers.
She hesitated for a moment, searching around for Lane and Zack. Her eyes finally settled on her parents saying goodbye to one of her teachers.
"Mom! Dad!" Grace yelled as she walked toward them, grabbing their attention and waving them over to her. "Are you coming?"
Lane and Zack smiled at each other, wrapped their arms around their daughter and headed towards their car.
They were going to be okay.
