The Diary of a Cutter
Chapter 1: Week 1
Monday
Dear Diary,
As I ran the knife across my pale wrist tiny crimson lines began to appear. Soon they would heal but I would have scars. Who cares, no one does. I slit the final cut and put the knife down. Blood ran down my arm and onto my white school blouse. I'll just buy a new one tomorrow before school. Well I guess I have to stop the bleeding before my parents come home. So I start to clean up the bathroom.
I walked to my black room and change into black jeans and a black long-sleeve turtleneck sweater. I pet my black kitten, Alexander. My arms still kind of stings but I'll get over it. Well today was just a great day at school. I got ridiculed by him again. That is why I decided to get rid of the pain through cutting. I just hope no one figures out that I am cutting myself. I think I'm gonna finish up today with some meditation then go to bed. Night.
- Max
Tuesday
Dear Diary,
I walked into my house and walked straight for the bathroom. I pulled out my hidden knife and began my cutting. I could see the tiny scabbed cuts on my arm. I took the knife and cut into my arm a little deeper than before. Blood started to flow out. I heard my mom coming in the front door so I cleaned the bathroom and ran to my room as fast as possible. I changed out of my school clothes into a black skirt, fishnets, and a long-sleeve black shirt. Dinner she called and I went down to eat. We had steak tonight.
Once dinner was over I went back up to my dark room to finish my homework. I took my dyed black hair and put it up in a pony-tail before starting. After I finished I went onto my blog and typed up a new entry talking about how he keeps toying with my emotions. He is such a dick.
- Max
Wednesday
Dear Diary,
Today when I got home I didn't slit tiny lines of pain escape into my wrist. I had to let them heal a little so my mom wouldn't get suspicious. So instead I downed a few pain killers nothing big. Well that helped just a little. I changed into black and white striped tights and a black mini-dress. Then after my dinner of pork chops I downed a few more. I had to finish my geometry so I went up to my desk, started, and got distracted. I decided that I would just not turn it in. Oh well I have detention all next week so it doesn't matter if I get another. So I updated my blog saying that I had a "great" day getting a week worth of detention. But that is normal for me.
Well my mom found out about my detentions today also. She grounded me for the whole week. That won't stop me from sneaking out to write in the cemetery like I always do. Friday I plan on sneaking into the mansion on the top of the hill. That should give me a few ideas for some new poems.
- Max
Thursday
Dear Diary,
I wrote a new poem today in English so I'm gonna write it down here so I don't forget.
Torn Hearts
Time
and Time again I run in the rain.
Screaming and crying all in
pain.
Attempting not to get my heart torn out my chest
As
though it doesn't even exist
I feel a pain I know it's
true
Not a dream that won't come true.
A selfless letter that
I can tear up and throw away,
Not cheery stories that can make me
laugh.
But a sad pain that is torn out of my chest
You tore my
heart out and know you will pay.
Your agony will be worse than
mine.
While I dwell in heaven,
You will dwell in hell.
While
I live on
You'll be dead long.
I'm gonna live no matter how
hurt I am
You can't stop me from having my fun
But you can
stop me from living on.
The note you left me I will never
read.
Cuz now it's in your hands.
Right where it belongs...
How did you like it? I think it's one of my best yet. I might start a collection. I don't get why my mom sends me to some prep school when all I want to do when I get older is publish dark poetry. My true love, darkness. I downed a few pain killers when I got home. After that I went to my room and changed into black jeans and a black turtle-neck. Well I think I'm gonna go sneak out tonight and hang out in the cemetery. He found out that I was there last night and wouldn't stop calling me the living dead today. So I told him I was and showed him my fake glued in vampire fangs. I scared him half to death. Then the teacher found out and said she was going to call my mom. I told her to go ahead and see if I care. My mom will just ground me. I really don't mind. I'll sneak out anyways. Tomorrow is Friday and I'm so excited. I'm finally going to sneak into the mansion! My dream is gonna come true!
- Max
Friday
Dear Diary,
I can't wait till midnight. When I sneak out of here and go to the mansion. I read the book "Vampire Kisses" and really hope that my life turns out like that. I saw a shooting star and wished for it. Well I'll see if anyone is moving into the mansion tonight. I hope I find my Alexander just like Raven did. Raven and I are almost the same. Except I have no friends. I'm a loner. As I changed to sneak out I put on some black jeans, my combat boots, and a long-sleeve black turtle-neck. I packed a small black backpack. I had to wait till my mom was asleep before I could sneak out to the mansion. No problem. I'll tell you the complete and full story tomorrow in full detail! I'm weirdly giddy at the moment. Must be the excitement. Well I might as well attempt to do my homework.
For dinner my mom cooked mac and cheese. My favorite! After dinner I went up and took some pain killers. Then I waited till midnight when I could sneak into the mansion. I'm as excited as a 15 year old goth girl can be! Well I'll tell you about my day. I wasn't ridiculed as much as I normally am. I just read my book "Gothic, 10 dark stories" and kept to myself. He thought I was being emo so he said it's the screamo emo all day to me. Oh well didn't affect me I was in such a weirdly great mood! I actually did all my homework tonight! Well it's time! Mansion here I come!
- Max
Saturday
Dear Diary,
The Mansion was great! I loved it. Sadly though someone has moved into it. I still snooped as much as I could though. The basement is completely awesome! It's dark and it has awesomeness radiating off of it. Anyways I climbed over the gate and I saw a light in the window. So I ran and hid behind a bush for a little until I figured no one knew I was there. So I quickly put my black hair up into a pony-tail and headed to my destination, the attic. I walked up the fence to the forest and then proceeded to walked up to the side of the house along the edge of the forest. I walked up to a cellar window, hoping it was unlocked, which it wasn't. So I took out my lock picking kit and picked the lock. I slide through the window into the basement and almost fell but thankfully found a chair to land on. It was pitch black so I pulled out my flash light to find the stairway. I found an old mirror, an ancient painting of a family, a chair (that I fell on) and a beautiful old acoustic guitar. I walked over to the guitar and ran my hand over the strings. Well I didn't want to waste any time so I walked up the stairs and was then located in an old gothic style living room. I could faintly hear music (by Skylit Drive LOVE THEM) coming from a room at the end of the hallway. There was another set of stairs so I followed the path and walked up them. In the hall there was a family picture of a mother with blonde hair and dark brown almost black eyes, a father with raven hair and gold eyes, and a young boy with black hair like his father and dark brown eyes like his mother. It was a nice cozy looking family unlike my disgruntled looking family of my mom, dad, younger brother, and younger sister. There was one of beautiful blonde woman playing a gorgeous baby grand piano in an old cathedral. And a few of the boy when he was younger. I walked up the stairs to the attic but heard the music stop and the door open. Shit. I tried to hide in the shadows but he knew I was there. So all I could do was run. So I took off as fast as I could to the front door. He was following me. He was faster than me too. He reached the front door before I could and blocked my passage. Our conversation went a little like this:
"What are you doing in my house?"
"I don't have to answer that"
"It's my house"
"So"
"It's my house"
"I was just curious"
"I'll call the police"
"My name is Max"
"Answer the question"
"What's your name?"
"If I answer will you?"
"No"
"Then I'm not telling"
"Fine!"
"Then why?"
"I've loved this house forever and I finally got the idea to go inside."
"Nick"
"Alright I'll see you later!"
He just stood there glaring at me. Kind of scary actually.
"Can you move now?"
And he moved without saying another word. He was darkly handsome. He had shaggy black hair covering his eyes that were a dark black that held no emotion. He had on a pair of black basket-ball shorts and no shirt. Let me tell you it was hard to concentrate he was majorly buff. Well now after he let me out of the house I ran as fast as I could, climbed the high gate as fast as I could, and ran down the street. I didn't want to go home yet so I went to the cemetery to visit my grandpa. I climbed the fence to the cemetery and walked over to his grave which was engraved, In honor of Richard Ride, Grandpa and Father, Father of Valencia, Rose, Brenda, and Jayson. Friend to many. After I spent a little time talking to him I walked home and entered my room to find a very upset little kitten. I changed out of my sneak into Nick's house clothes to my bed clothes which were just some black boxer shorts and a loose black shirt. Then I turned out my lights, except from my ltd light on my nightmare before Christmas alarm clock, and climbed under my black sheets, turned off my let then fell to sleep. That was my great yesterday. Today I woke up put on some fishnets, and a black mini-dress and went shopping for food because my mom is lazy. You'll never guess who I saw at the market. Nick. Well he must have recognized me when he started walking over to me. I turned the other way and started walking really fast to the checkout. I guess no one gets away from him because he sure caught up fast. This time our conversation was a little shorter.
"Hi"
"Yo"
"Well are you going to school here?"
"Ya"
"Where"
"Phoenix Academy"
"That's where I go. I'm sure you'll love our uniforms."
"Uniforms?"
"ya guys have to wear black pants, a white button down with a black tie and a black jacket with the school insignia on it."
"Girls,"
"You'll see on Monday. Bye"
Then I walked home. Now I am currently writing all about it to you. Well I'm gonna do my homework so I don't have to tomorrow.
-Max
Sunday
Dear Diary,
Well I get the greatness of going to school with Nick tomorrow. Well this will be interesting. Him + Nick Interesting day at school! Wow I never thought I would say this but I am so ready for it to be Monday! Well today I'm wearing a black skirt, ripped fishnets, and a tight black tank top. I went to the park this morning to write some poetry in my favorite spot, in a secluded area under a weeping willow, next to a small creek. This area just flows with nature's beauty and life. So I wrote a new poem but I'm not done with it. Then after that I started to draw a picture of a daisy growing in my little piece of heaven. When I got home I figured I'd wash my school uniforms for the week and my knee high black socks for school. After they were done I had to iron the blouse, skirt, vest, and jacket. What a pain. Then I had dinner, tacos yum! My mom decided she wanted to watch a family movie tonight so me, Gaz, and Ig all tried to fit on a small couch while mom and dad got the loveseat. No fair! WE watched some lame movie called The Perfect Score that wasn't scary at all! After the movie my mom decided to explain to us that pot was bad and the kid in the movie was wrong to be smoking it blah blah blah.
Well when I came upstairs to write in you I had to feed Alexander and close my window. Then I jumped in the shower and put on my awesome pj's of boxers and a t-shirt. Well I'm writing in you now but I plan to brush my teeth and then go to bed. Alexander has taken a liking to sleeping at the edge of my bed instead of his own bed now. I'm bored and don't want to go to sleep yet so I'm just gonna tell you what I think might happen tomorrow. I'm hoping he isn't in my class only because he would be a HUGE destruction. Think about it Max + really gorgeous emo kid + same classroom DISASTER! That the only thing it can equal. Well I'm gonna go to sleep for now! Over and Out!
-Max
