Cartman's Rough Life

By Shadowgate

Eric Cartman was sitting in the Park County Juvenile Courtroom. He was there over a jaywalking ticket he got Friday afternoon. It was Monday morning.

The judge told him that he had to pay the ticket. Eric Cartman said he could not pay the ticket.

The judge said "either you pay the ticket or you'll have to spend the day standing outside the South Park Mayor's Office wearing a duck costume."

Cartman yelled "WHAT THE FUCK!"

The judge replied "we don't say fuck in the courtroom you little asshole."

Cartman replied "we apparently don't have intelligence either."

The judge said "get this fat little bastard out of my courtroom."

Cartman yelled "DON'T CALL ME FAT GODDAMN IT!"

The police officers dragged Cartman out of the courtroom. His mom scolded him and told him she wouldn't pay the fine.

So Cartman had to dress up in a duck costume and stand outside the mayor's office. There were two Park County Police Officers standing beside him for his personal safety.

Cartman's POV

"This week has not been my week. This Monday morning I got up and I was in a bathrobe that one of my stupid relatives gave me for my birthday. I was half asleep and I forgot I put my fucking cell phone in the back pocket. It fell in the Goddamn toilet. Luckily I found out Tuesday that it was working okay. My mom put it in a bag of rice and got Damprid which saved it. On Tuesday night I went to the South Park carnival with my friend's Stan and Kenny. Oh yeah Kyle was there as well. It was a better carnival than the cow day's celebration. Everything was cool until I got on the super go-round. I puked for the rest of the fucking night."

A car came by and honked. Cartman was not only in a duck costume but he had to hold a sign as well. The sign said "caught jaywalking and the judge made me wear a duck costume."

Cartman was naturally very pissed off but he knew he had to stand still and endure it.

Cartman's POV

"I went to school on Wednesday because after a good night's sleep. That morning I told Kyle I was very sorry for puking on him. That Jew-Boy was pretty upset but he told me he understood and it was cool. As I took my seat I noticed it had a sticky substance on it. I said 'what the hell' in class and Butters started laughing. He then confessed to putting glue on my chair to get back at me for making his life so miserable. The teacher put him in time out and I had to go to the nurse's office and luckily she had a spare pair of pants on hand. At lunch time that day Craig and Clyde both told me they went to the carnival on Monday night. They both told me they were sorry to hear I threw up then they both said 'look what we got' and both squirted me with flowers on their jackets. They got those flowers at the Goddamn carnival.

Randy Marsh came driving by and he hit his breaks. Stuart McCormick was driving behind him and rear ended him. Both of them got out and argued but then they laughed at me for being in a fucking duck costume. My life sucks."

THE END