"Dodgers, it's not like I'm doubting your captaining abilities-" A pause, "Well, maybe I am. But the fact of the matter is we've got to find a spaceport to land in soon or else the ship's never going to make it." Dr. I.Q High paced in the bridge, waving his arms above his head emphatically.

Duck Dodgers sat reclining in his captain's seat, seemingly unperturbed by the scientist's obvious panic.

"Look, Chief, itsh really no big deal. Trust me, whatever'sth wrong with the ship I'm sure the Cadet can figure it out, right Cadet?" Dodgers looked at the large view screen in front of him, where the Cadet could be seen wading through the ship's sewage tank.

"I-I-I don't know, Captain. Everything seems fa-fuh-fi-fi-just peachy down here, I don't see anything wrong. "

"WHAT?!" Dodgers shouted, "You dare question my calculationsth?" He pulled out a copy of the ships schematics and pointed to a section circled darkly with bright red marker.

"See, right there! If I'm not misthtaken, that would be the ship'sth sthewer line. Hey wait a minute." He pulled the map close to his face and peered at it, "Isthn't the little tail-fin-thingy-"

"The rudder?" Dr. I.Q High stopped pacing long enough to stand beside Dodgers and look at the map.

"Yeah, yeah. The rudder-thingy, isthn't it sthupposed to be, you know, on the top of the ship? What kind of cheap map is thisth?!" The doctor suddenly grabbed the map out of Dodgers hands, flipped it around and thrust it back. Dodgers squinted a moment then exclaimed,

"Now that makesth a lot more sthense." He looked up at the view screen, where the Cadet could still be seen waist deep in murky water. "Looksth like there was a little mixth up, Cadet. Stheems like the problem is in the engine room, not the sthewer." The Cadet stared at Dodgers with a blank expression on his face. Dodgers glared back at him,

"Well whaddya doing standing around for, Cadet, hop to it!"

The Cadet sighed and trudged back up the pipe, muttering,

"I don't get a-pe-pu-pu-paid enough for this."

--

"Well that wasthn't so bad now, wasth it Cadet?" The Cadet sat at the control panel, still trying to get all the water out of his boots. He gave Dodgers a slightly annoyed look and said dryly,

"A-ne-ne-nu-not hard at all, Captain."

"That'sth the sthpirit! Now were you able to find out what'sth wrong with the ship?"

"Yes, Captain. I-I-It's the energy core. It exploded….a-a-a-again." Both the Cadet and the doctor looked at Dodgers, who looked behind him then back at the two.

"Whaaaat? Are you two blaming me? Why do I get blamed for everything!?"

"Well, Dodgers, maybe it's because you're the captain so you're supposed to be responsible for everything that happens on your ship and because you're supposed to take responsibility for your crew," Dr. I.Q counted off the reasons on his gloved fingers, "And because you are by far the most wasteful Protectorate captain I have yet to come across…Dodgers…are you even listening to me?"

Dodgers was busy shoveling handfuls of potato chips in his mouth.

"Yeah, sure Chief, whatever you sthay." He burped, "S'cuse me." He blinked and noticed the other two still staring at him,

"Common you guysth, what'sth the big deal? It'sth not like the energy core was anything important, right?"

"UGH!" Both the Cadet and the doctor smacked their foreheads with their hands. Dodgers looked at the two, puzzled.

"What?"

"The energy core is what keeps the entire ship fully operational, Dodgers! Don't you remember?! We've been through this a thousand times!" Dodgers looked back at I.Q blankly. The doctor rolled his eyes and tried again,

"No energy core, ship no move."

"Oh, well why didn't you sthay stho?" Dodgers thought for a moment, "Huh, I guess thisth isth pretty stherious. But don't fret my good men," He suddenly spun on heel and padded over to his microwave tucked away in the corner.

"Asth long asth we have our trusty microwave, everything will be-" A large tremor shook the ship and immediately the lights flickered off.

"-fine."