Curiosity

N.A: KAKA! I had so much fun writing this. Is just a silly one shot, where Cameron listens to a very weird conversation behind closed doors. Is classified due to the reader's dirty thoughts. And, believe me, not even if you were a nun you would escape those!

P.S: The dialogue in italic is of Wilson and House, inside the closet. Normal letters are for Cameron and Chase, outside the closet (uhu, this sounded dirty).

Attention: It's a little slashy, I suppose. But, again, just in dirty thoughts.

If you're a too serious person and you can't relax for even a minute, don't read this; really, because then, you'll want to flame me and you'll be mad at me for destroying your idea of the characters.

Disclaimer: I own nothing. But if I owned House, I would play scrabble with him. In him. () Yes, I'm a pervert.

Dr. Allison Cameron didn't consider herself a gossiper person. She was just… curious. Yeah, curious, that's the word. And, she had a justification: destiny, God, or whoever was up there, wanted her to listen behind doors, this time, literally.

"Are you sure we can do it here? I mean, we tried here before, Cuddy's office is better for…"

That was when it started, with the man's voice coming from the closet and her natural curiosities making her lean her ear to the door.

"Yes, yes, Wilson, don't be such a pain. Besides, Cuddy's office was getting boring." Cameron couldn't (or didn't) want to hear the rest of the sentence because she had recognised that voice. It was House! And now her mind was offering her a series of very imaginative visions of what House and Wilson were doing in an empty closet.

"But this is too small."- For a moment, she thought in going away, but her curiosity wan and she pressed her ear closer to the door. Just in the name of curiosity, of course.

"Small is cosy, sometimes…"- House's voice was getting lower, and Cameron lost the rest of his words, not only because of that but also because suddenly she felt a hand in her shoulder.

"Who are you spying on?" – She didn't even gave to the work of turning to the man, she could recognise that fake British accent anywhere. It was Chase. And, identifying the human being who had the courage to interrupt her spy…sorry, curiosity, she concentrated in trying to hear more and ignored every blond human being in a five-meter ray.

"Wilson and House. Now, shush" – Next thing she knew, she could feel Chase's blond hair tickling her neck. It looked like that she wasn't the only "curious" one around, but on the other hand, she was the only who was almost spontaneously combusting.

"…It's not fair!"- Cameron eradicated her cute (and hot) partner with her eyes, angry for having lost the first part of Wilson's sentence – "Yours is bigger than mine!"

The two (supposedly mature) adults hearing in the other side of the door, the ones to whom the nurses were starting to stare, had their jaws dropped till the floor. For very different reasons, both of them were trying to discover what could be compared by size inside a closet between two mans.

"We have to past through this every time. Mine is always bigger than yours. Just shut up and put it in."

"Now, now… that wasn't very nice, House."- Chase was trying very hard not to laugh, while Cameron eyes just grew wider as she shushed Chase to listen to the rest of the conversation.

After a short pause, they could hear Wilson sigh in exasperation.

"This isn't working. Take it off… Anyway, it has a weird shape, and it's too big for a--"

"Or maybe you're just a whiny. How do we prove that?"- House sounded bored and like he had his mouth filled with something.

At this point, Cameron was cursing her curiosity and Chase was busy trying to laugh his head off without making any noise, which caused him to act like he was in extreme pain.

"I think I'll just have to taste it" – when she heard that sentence, Cameron officially gave up on trying to find other explanation for the suspicious conversation. But she continued to listen. Let's just call it lack of entertainment.

"You'll get your clothes all sticky and then all the Hospital will want to join us."

Chase, with an evil smirk in his lips, whispered in he other hear:

"All the Hospital? He's a very deceived guy, but, on the other hand, it's kind of kinky…"

Cameron focused on not blushing and putting her most disgusted face, while, for some reason that not even she understood, she tried to hear even more.

"I'll just be careful"- Cameron heard Wilson's voice, and it came a silence that, as she quickly discovered, was worst than the weird conversation between the two men inside. The silence gave her the opportunity of imagining probably stranger things than what was really happening (or at least she hoped so).

"Ouch! It's got into my eye! Shit, House, can't you control that thing?"

"Well, sorry, you were the one who wanted to taste it."

Chase was almost dying from laughter, and Cameron was completely, utterly, traumatized. In a hidden corner of her brain, she asked herself how would she look in House's eyes again. But, of course, the other 99,9 percent just wanted to listen to more.

"It would be lots easy to do it if you'd let me hold it."

"Not in a hundred years, it's all mine."

"Oh. My. God." – Cameron was actually stunned to hear her own voice, too loud in the silent hallway, and making all the nurses start gossiping again.

"Yes, who would say that House is so… gifted?" – Chase, finally over the burst of laugh, sounded like he had actually spent some time thinking about this. Cameron, again attacked by her overwhelming imagination, had to slap Chase in the back of his head to continue to listen and stop seeing images of Chase dreaming with naked House dancing the mambo.

After all, that was her dream and not Chase's.

When she managed to concentrate again, the conversation was, apparently, over. All she could hear was low moans, occasionally interrupted by Wilson's muffled voice.

"Hum…Greg, that's gooooood…"

At that point, she decided it was time to go away from that door before she had a heart attack. She took Chase by his ears with her.

When Wilson and House got out of that closet, licking their fingers covered with chocolate, and with empty fruit's baskets sent by all those nice and thankful patients. After some time in the medical career, they had developed a basic instinct to hide and eat those baskets before someone else could do it.

So, this time, House didn't understand why all the Hospital was looking awkwardly at them and giving him congratulations for his "relation" with Wilson. He also found strange the fact that Chase's looks to his pants were increasing and that Cameron blushed every time he talked to her.

Of course he didn't know of all the conversations in which Dr. Allison Cameron "accidentally" gave a pormenorized description of all she had heard through that door.

All in name of curiosity, obviously.

Final Note: This was edited, because a really nice girl (Kathy) commented about some awful mistakes I had here. But, hey, "a língua tem de levar todo o dia para saber quem manda".

This is a quote of Luís Fernando Veríssimo, which, roughly translated, means: "grammar has to be beaten every day to know who's the boss".

"Hears"… Ouch… Sometimes my brain just goes bye bye.