A/N: My first songfic! I decided to take a short break from "The Promise" to write this.
Disclaimer: Characters from BtVS are not mine, and I make no money from this. Song is Not Strong Enough by Apocalyptia. Go listen to it, it's awesome.
Lyrics are in bold. Thoughts in italics.
Tara sat in her dorm room. How am I going to be strong enough for this? Tara shakes her head. She has to be strong enough. For Willow.
At the thought of her once-lover, Tara sighs, getting up and going to her dresser. There is a picture there, laying face-down. She picks it up, stares.
I'm not strong enough to stay away
Can't run from you I just run back to you
Like a moth I'm drawn to your flame
The faces in the picture start to blur together through the tears in her eyes. She grabs her new leather jacket. I need some air. While she's walking out of the dorms, her mind drifts away, thinking about how her and Willow had gone for coffee earlier. She had almost caved, just hearing the redhead say her name.
You say my name but it's not the same
You look in my eyes I'm stripped of my pride
And my soul surrenders and you bring my heart to its knees
It had hurt watching Willow leave when they were done, knowing that while they were both leaving alone, at least Willow was going home. She continued walking, having no idea where she was going, but she knew she didn't want to go back to that lonely dorm room right now.
And it's killin' me when you're away and I wanna leave and I wanna stay. I'm so confused
So hard to choose. Between the pleasure and the pain. And I know it's wrong and I know it's right.
Even if I try to win the fight. My heart would overrule my mind. And I'm not strong enough to stay away
Willow sat on her bed, trying to focus on her studying, but it was useless. The only thing on her mind was Tara. Like always. I wish she'd just come home. Willow sighed, once again trying to focus, not realizing that she was highlighting every line in her book.
I'm not strong enough to stay away What can I do?
I would die without you
And with your presence my heart knows no shame I'm not to blame
Cause you bring my heart to its knees
Tara stopped walking, realizing that she was right outside the door of the Summers' house. Willow's house. Their home. She looked up, seeing that the light in their bedroom was on. Things would never be the same, but it just wasn't worth it, without her Willow-tree. She set her shoulders and walked inside.
There's nothing I can do
My heart is chained to you And I can't get free
Look what this has done to me
Tara leaned against the door frame, watching Willow. How could I have ever left you?
"Things fall apart, they fall so hard…" Tara said, making Willow jump.
"Tara…"
"You can't ever put them back the way they were…" Tara's eyes were focused intently on Willow. She seemed fevered.
"Are you okay?" Willow asked, putting aside her book and leaning walked all the way into the room.
"I'm sorry, it's just... you know it takes time. You can't just have coffee and expect-"
Willow looks down at her hands, shamed. "I know."
"There's so much to work through.. Trust has to build again, on both sides...you have to learn if you're even the same people you were, if you can fit in each other's lives, it's a long and important process and…can we just skip it? Can you just be kissing me now?"
Willow looks up in surprise, hope springing in her eyes and heart. She sees what she has been looking and wishing for in Tara's eyes. Jumping up, she rushes towards Tara, their lips meeting for the first time in months.
I'm Home, they both thought.
Not strong enough
Strong enough
to stay away
