Hi, guys –
Here is a glimpse into Edward's mindset after the infamous 'first time' in Chapter 9 of the 'Two Wants' universe. Bella was able to tell her side of things in Chapter 10, so I decided Edward needed to vent as well. I didn't want to bog you down with more backstory, so I decided to post it separately.
Enjoy!
-dye
EPOV
~Six weeks earlier~
The morning after their first encounter…
I could feel the sunlight as it danced atop my eyelids. I could hear the birds chirping a little louder than usual. A gentle breeze carried the beautiful bouquet of Mrs. Cope's garden through my bedroom window.
But the warm body I expected by my side this morning was nowhere to be found.
It is morning and I am alone…. But I expected this morning to be different.
Last night, I made love to Bella Swan… and it was beautiful.
I remember every inch of skin that I touched, every moan that escaped her lips. I made a mental note of every touch that made her writhe uncontrollably, every stroke that made her beg for more, the precise spot I hit deep within her that rendered her silent and made her cum all over my cock.
Yes, we made love last night, but I wanted to do so much more. I wanted to make her lose control. I needed to feel her in my arms, wild and untamed, screaming my name without restraint. Last night, I quieted Bella for fear that we would wake Alice with our 'activities'…. but, now, I could care less who fucking hears us as long as I give Bella the best fuck of her life.
If last night was a dream, then please don't wake me. I would rather stay in bed, reliving our fantasy night together, than live an empty life in a world where our one night of passion never happened.
Now that I have had a taste of what loving Bella Swan is like, I can't help but want more.
Last night was more than just sex for me.
Bella fell asleep in my arms after we made love. She looked so peaceful, so beautiful, as she slept. Her skin still glowed from the pleasure I gave her. I would reach out to touch her brow, to push back a lock of hair, and she would snuggle even tighter into my chest. It felt so comfortable, so natural – as if my arms were meant to hold her like that forever. She smiled sweetly as she slept and I knew that smile was there because of me. Knowing that I made her happy… I felt giddy, as if everything was finally falling into place for us.
I dreamt of waking her with my kisses. I wanted to feel her warm body pressed against mine… to hear the cute sounds she would make as she stretched her limbs… to caress the downy skin of her cheek as I gently kissed her into consciousness. I wanted to feel her smile against my lips as I whispered words of love to her… and I wanted to show her how much I loved her as she whispered them back. I wanted to take my time with her, letting her know without a shadow of a doubt how I felt for her. I wanted to make love to her in the light of day -- without pretense or provision. I wanted her to finally understand the depth of my feelings for her; I truly wanted to fulfill her heart's desire and offer my heart to her in return. I couldn't it hide it any longer and, honestly, I didn't want to… because, after sharing one beautiful night together, I knew she felt the same way. It was undeniable.
Obviously, I was wrong.
She left me in the middle of the night– just like she did five years ago.
As much as I wanted everything to fall into place, last night just seemed too damn good to be true. It felt too right; our bodies fit together too damn well. Clearly, I misinterpreted her words & her actions as she shared my bed and I shared my heart. I overstepped the boundaries of our relationship and the damage done may be irreparable.
The most glorious night of my life may also have been the biggest mistake I ever made.
The birds outside my window were no longer chirping for me.
The clouds were finally setting in.
I think I may have lost the love of my life.
More updates to follow, so stay tuned!
-dye
