I lay breathless on the dust covered ground as a silhouette approaches from the distance.
I must be dead again.
Like so many times before, I lay dismembered, waiting for the blood to drain from my body, and my heart to stop. No matter how many times I die, I can't help but wonder, can't help but hope that it's the last time. The last time I feel my flesh tear from my body as I fade into the abyss. But it's not the pain I fear; it's the state before I lose consciousness and reanimates into another clone that terrifies me. Those moments between death and life feel like an eternity.
"Limbo", some have taken to calling it; and I hate it more than anything. "Is this what it's truly like to die?" I wonder.
My father was an Achura monk of the highest monastic order in the Saisio System, and he never thought so. He spoke often of the places he would "travel"; truths he would uncover, and of an architect he would sometimes encounter during his celestial voyages. My grandmother, a Seer and Stargazer, had taught him how to open his mind and explore the universe.
I never had the patience. All my life I took the short cuts, and eventually wound up paying the price. I wanted to access the same forgotten knowledge like my father, but I never had the discipline to get there on my own. I wanted it so badly, that I cheated, and now I'm stuck, fighting to support my habit.
X-Instinct; a powerful hallucinogen helped me peek through doors of perception. Cheating has it's price though, and some lines, and never meant to be crossed.
I feel a burst, and then a sudden surge throughout my core as the helix makes it's way into my bloodstream. I breathe deep, gasping for air as I choke on my own blood. The Nanites work there throughout my body, repairing my tissue and organs. The silhouette takes shape, and I hear a familiar voice.
"EVA!" Somebody bellows above me.
A strong arm reaches down and pulls me to my feet. Still in a haze, I scan the surface for my weapon.
"Here," the man says handing me my shotgun. "Go, complete the mission. We don't have much time."
My legs are wobbling and shaking with every step I take, but I force myself to keep moving.
"Null Cannon Alpha is being hacked", flashes on my communicator. I make my way to the Null Cannon as I scan for hostiles. I pick 6 signatures instantly, 96-meters from my location surrounding the Null Cannon Terminal. I sprint directly towards them, leaping over obstacles as I instinctively feed shells into Logan.
I activate my Cloaking Device as I approach the targets. Two Assaults, two Logistics, a Commando and a Heavy; the odds are severely stacked against me. Just as my Cloak begins to fade, I chuck a Flux Grenade at them, catching the squad completely off guard. A 20 meter Flux sphere burst open, enveloping them it's field; their shields entirely drained of energy. Before they can register what is happening, I am on them. Shot after shot rips through armor, taking off heads, and limbs clean. They immediately try to nullify the threat, firing wildly, hitting each other in the crossfire. I'm too fast for them. I duck and vault, dodging automatic weapon fire from all directions. Multiple SMG rounds cruze inches from my face. I fake left, and roll to the right behind a large crate. I peer out, four of the six lay dead, but the remaining two see me and pin me with a barrage of Scrambler rounds. The jig is up, I'm no match for two assaults head on; my shotgun not effective at this range. I see a stairwell, and make a break for it. I move like lightening, diving, and rolling down the flight of stairs. At the bottom I attach a remote explosive to the side of the step as the see the two signatures approaching my position.
"Good", I say to myself. "Just a little further."
I turn the corner, and make some distance between the bomb and me. A shadow looms out of the stairwell, and I detonate the charge. Screams of terror are muffled by the blast, nothing remains of corpses.
I double back to the Terminal, and as I'm about to re-hack the Null Canon as I realize one of the invaders is still moving. As I get closer to his withering body I take notice of the blood covered Insignia on his dropsuit.
"It's him." I stare in disbelief; the coward that ordered the attack on SBS, destroying my home district.
The day we learned of the imminent attack from Redstar we weren't shook at all. I had personally organised and helped coordinate numerous successful counter-attacks on our district; I thought we were ready for anything. Soon after however, I had received an urgent encrypted message from a source within the upper echelon of Eon Alliance. It had read;
"Redstar has been losing a lot of ground since the war started. They need to make up for their losses; expect there to be heavy MHPD presence in the next assault. Fly Safe. -GJR"
He was right. The carnage that ensued that day was like nothing I had ever experienced. I had been through many battles in my life, but nothing like that. Ultimately, we were just rookies, scrubs, playing at war. I never harboured any personal resentment towards the mercenaries that attacked us that day. After all, a mercs' got to eat, and in the end you've got to respect their talent. A realization did dawn me after the chaos was finally over; those that possess power are terrified of losing it. We expected to have to put up a fight after we acquired our district; and we did, many a time, but when some of the most infamous and highest paid mercenaries in all of New Eden come to obliterate a group not involved in the war, you see just how far some will go to preserve their power.
In the end, after losing our home and despite being destitute, it was the first time I had the willingness to fight for something other than my own dependency on narcotics. I wanted to stick for all the underdogs out there that were getting crushed by megalithic corporations.
"Logan", named after the slaver hound I adopted as a teen who liked to bite the heads off of rodents before devouring them whole, had one round left in the chamber. I took one step forward and stopped, deactivated my cloak and raised my pet to the side of his skull, I thought of my old friends.
"This is for ShootBreakStab you fucking coward!" I roared, and his cranium ceased to exist.
In case of a debilitating and painful but not immediate life-threatening injury, I had my dropsuit modified by a smuggler I met on my travels to inject a lethal dose of X-Instinct, mixed in with a touch of Sooth-Sayer. Normally I hate dying, but in this moment I was at peace. I sat next to the headless corpse, dropped Logan to my side, turned off my coms', and hit the switch.
Mind bending awareness, coupled with pure ecstasy is what I felt as I was swept away into Valhalla, and for the first time, I was not afraid to die.
