Hi people! Okay so this is my first fanfic here and actually it's also one of the first I have written. I'm a Dutch girl so I already apologise if there are errors in here, my English isn't perfect, feel free to let me know, I like to learn. I live in Belgium so actually I haven't seen the season finale yet but of course I've already heard about the famous three words "who are you" by now. This story picks up after Booth has left the hospital for a few days and he still doesn't have his memory back. Reviews are very welcome, good critics can be helpful, but please be nice, I'm not a real writer!
Disclaimer: I do not own Bones or any of the characters, unfortunately!
"Angela, have you got a minute?"
Angela looked up from her computer and saw Booth standing in the doorway of her office, nervously playing with the zipper of his jacket.
"Sure, come on in."
Booth walked through and took a chair in front of Angela's desk.
"So what can I do for you G-man?"
He looked up at her, not too sure whether he should actually say this.
"Well errrrr, actually I was asked not to tell this to anyone but...well I guess it's that which makes me kind of suspicious...I don't know, I'm probably just being paranoid. But that's not really a shocker lately, is it?"
Angela smiled at him. "Hey, it's okay, you can tell me, whatever it is."
Booth nodded, trying to find the exact words.
"I got a call from Sully, you know a former colleague of mine?"
Booth wasn't sure if Angela had ever met him.
"Yeah, two years ago, when you uhh..." Angela figured it was best not to mention the fact he got into therapy because he shot a clown on an ice-cream truck, that wasn't really such a great memory to just drop on him like that.
"...when you were unable to work you set Bren up with him, as a temporarily partner you know and errr later as a couple."
Booth looked confused, trying to remember all this but as for now he came up blank and decided not to give it any more thought at that moment, it was not what he came to Angela for.
"Anyway he asked me for a favour and he told me not to mention it to anyone."
Angela didn't like the sound of this. "What did he ask you?"
"He said that he and Brennan were a couple and that he had been away for a while, for business or something and now he was back and he wanted to surprise her with a romantic dinner. I mean, I thought Brennan didn't like surprises, but of course I could be wrong, my mind isn't really one to trust right now and he probably knows what she likes so...I didn't even know she had a boyfriend."
"What favour did he want?" Booth was a little shocked by Angela's sudden change of mood, but he continued nonetheless.
"He enquired that I'd get her to her apartment, so she wouldn't know it was for him you know. But I don't even know where her apartment is, so that would be quite stupid. And then he asked me if he could just borrow my apartment for the afternoon. I was a little reluctant about it all first, I don't know why, but eventually I figured that after everything that happened over the last few days, she could use some time to relax, she deserves some fun, so I agreed. It just kept bugging me though, for some reason I felt like I had to tell someone. And I thought it wouldn't be a big deal to tell you, I mean it's not like Brennan is going to find out, right? I'm not really spoiling the surprise..."
Angela sighed heavily and Booth could only wonder why. He searched his brain, trying to find out if he had done something wrong after all, having no memory could be damn tiresome sometimes.
"Did I do something wrong?", he finally asked, barely audible.
"I honestly don't know Booth, I'm not sure how Brennan's going to react to this, I don't know how she feels towards him."
Booth looked at her, not understanding. She sighed again.
"Okay, I know we all agreed not to tell you too many things because you should remember this all on your own, on your own time, but I guess I have to tell you the whole story here or you'll never understand any of it. Something like 2 years ago, like I said before, Bren and Sully got partnered up and I think it's partly because of you they started dating. Mostly that went fine, they were a fine couple. After a while though Sully decided to do a sailing trip, with his boat which he'd called Temperance, after Brennan. He planned on sailing to the Caribbean and he asked Brennan to go with him. She considered this, asked our opinions..."
Booth interrupted there: "What did we tell her?".
Angela briefly smiled at this. "We told her that she had to do what she thought was best for her, to follow her heart, although we all would've missed her very much. As you can already guess she eventually decided not to go. Like she couldn't leave her job and stuff like that, all that kind of crap."
Booth frowned at this, but Angela just continued, she would come back at this later.
"Sully decided to leave anyway, alone."
She saw Booth getting even more confused because of this and had to suppress a smile.
"Bren ended up waving him out at the harbour and alone once again, well alone...you know what I mean. I don't think she heard from him ever since. So I'm not really sure how she'll take this, I don't know how she feels about the whole thing now, or about him for that matter."
Booth didn't really know what to feel or to think. "But he said..."
"I know, it's not your fault Booth, you just trusted that what he said was true, you have no other choice, you don't remember."
"I shouldn't have believed him that easily, I should've..."
"Booth, look at me. It's not your fault. He's your friend, you just assumed what he said was the truth and you wanted to do Brennan a favour, that's really nice of you. Now we better do something! What time did you have to ask her to be at your apartment?"
Booth seemed to have to snap out of it before he was able to answer. "12.30"
Angela checked her watch. "Okay it's 12.22, if we hurry we might be there only a little after her. We can eavesdrop at your door, which I of course never do otherwise, and if it gets to noisy we can intervene."
She grinned at him widely and quickly grabbed her purse and coat. When they neared the door something hit Angela.
"How did you get here anyway? You're not allowed to drive alone yet."
"Since I got kicked out of my own apartment, I walked here."
Angela looked shocked. "You walked all the way here? Are you crazy? Booth you shouldn't do that in your condition, Brennan would kill us both if she came to know this!"
"What did I have to do? I couldn't sit the entire day on the stairs of my apartment building, now could I? And Sully had others things to do than drive me around. I didn't even see him, he asked me to leave the spare key somewhere. He wasn't really concerned about where I was going to stay while he used my apartment."
Angela seemed a little more pleased. "Now if Brennan finds out, she's going to kill him!"
Booth couldn't help but laugh with her. They got into Ange's car and drove to his apartment.
Once there, they ran straight up to his apartment and held still at his door.
Angela laid her head against the door, trying to hear whether Brennan was already there and if everyone was still alive in case the answer to the first question was yes.
Of course, she thought, Brennan may not get angry. But, she continued soon, that didn't really sound very Brennan-ish, she just wasn't one to throw herself at somebody and then start to tell how much she missed them.
She was brought back out of her reverie when she could clearly hear Brennan raise her voice.
"Oh oh, that ain't going well!"
Without any more hesitation both Booth and Angela stormed into his apartment.
Brennan, who was standing with her back to them, quickly turned and she was clearly not happy, it was not what Booth had had in mind when he thought he'd give her an afternoon of relaxing.
He felt like he had to apologize. "I...I'm really sorry Temperance, I didn't know..."
She seemed to calm down a little, seeing how upset he was becoming.
"Booth it's not your fault, you have amnesia."
She turned around, facing Sully. "You on the other hand know pretty damn well what's all going on and I can't believe that you got it into your head that you can just come back after more than 2 years, organize some dinner and expect everything to be okay. How can anyone ever think such a thing?"
Sully clearly wasn't happy with the sudden company.
"Hey Booth, I thought I asked you to lend me your apartment for the day hey and to not tell anyone. So Tempe and I could have some private time."
Brennan seemed to be getting furious.
"Oh you had it all figured out, didn't you? You just forgot the small part where you should've figured that I wouldn't be pleased with this!"
Angela chose this moment to throw herself into the discussion. "Thank God he decided to come and tell somebody after all, otherwise my best friend might be hurt now or you'd be dead."
Because of the discussion nobody paid any attention to Booth's face, all sorts of memories came rushing through him, about Sully and 'Tempe', but also about him and Bones, their cases, the Squints and everything they'd been through over the years.
It was so much to take in at once that it almost became too much. He searched and found some support from the little table standing next to his door.
Sully seemed to be getting mad as well. "Oh yeah, playing the super-best-friend hey Angela. If it wouldn't have been for you and some other morons, we would be happy now. She would've gone with me two years ago!"
Brennan couldn't believe what she was hearing. "It's not because of them I didn't go with you Sully, I'm an independent woman, I can make my own decisions!"
"Oh that's crap Tempe, don't you see? They made you stay here, they played with your mind! We were perfectly happy together, we were a great couple. Why else would we have separated than because of these selfish idiots who don't think you deserve to be happy? They just want to keep you here because you are good for their careers and stuff, but they don't give a damn about what's good for you!"
If Brennan wouldn't have snapped, Angela would've done it for her.
"You think our relationship was so great Sully? Then how come you left me? Clearly we didn't 'love' each other enough to stay together! I didn't care enough for you to leave my life behind and you didn't offer to stay, I think that pretty much says it all. They do care Sully, they do want what's best for me, it's you that only cares for your own benefit! Even if there ever was anything between us, it's definitely over now! Did you honestly think I would sit around and wait more than two years, in case you might come back? I've moved on, I've changed and I've had other lovers since you left."
He came closer to Brennan, pointing a threatening finger at her.
"You just sleep with anyone who crosses your path, don't you? You're a slut, you should be happy I still want you after all of this!"
Booth finally managed to get his thoughts sorted out a little and decided to join in the discussion again, no way he would let Sully talk about 'his' Bones like that.
"That's enough Sully, I will not let you talk about her like that any longer. You were a friend of mine and I thought I was yours too, but clearly I was wrong. You heard about my amnesia and you took advantage of that to get to her. You knew that if I had my memory I wouldn't let you anywhere near her that easily. Clearly I was right, I don't recognize you Sully, I really don't!"
Brennan was confused, did Booth just make this up out of everything Angela had told him and what he had heard here? How else did he know what to say? Or did he make it all up? Brennan quickly stopped thinking about it when the argument continued.
Sully obviously didn't care about the amnesia, he snapped at Booth.
"You were always after her, weren't you? Wanting to break us up all the time. And what? You still didn't get her into your bed? You call me an idiot, but at least I managed to do that! And it's not really that hard with her is it? Or is it something else, you scared she'll think you're the worst she ever slept with?"
Booth was boiling with anger now.
"You do not speak about her like that!"
The fury brought back Booth's headache, once again he sought support from the table next to him. This time it didn't go unnoticed.
"Booth are you okay?" Brennan looked at him, concern all over her face.
"Yeah, it's fine, not important right now Bones."
It only took Brennan a second before she realized what he had said and her eyes grew wide.
Her voice was barely above a whisper: "What did you just say?"
"That I'm fine, it doesn't matter right now."
He had to know that that wasn't what she meant, was he playing dumb with her or did she just imagine him calling her that?
She was still whispering when she answered. "You called me..."
"Bones.", he added, his voice not much louder than hers.
All of a sudden a smile broke through on her face and before he really knew what was happening she already threw her arms around him.
"Booth, you're back!" He was smiling now too. "Yeah Bones, I'm back."
She was so happy that she momentarily forgot all about Sully and the current situation, it was a whole weight falling off her shoulders.
"I'm so glad you have your memory back!"
"Me too Bones, me too. I wonder how I could ever forget you in the first place."
Sully decided that the little intervention had taken long enough and snorted audibly.
Brennan felt her annoyance rise again. "You really think I'm a slut?"
She was trying her best not to show how hurt she was. Brennan's refreshing about the previous statement made Angela mad as well.
"You son of a bitch, you've got some nerve! Where do you get the right to talk about her and the rest of us like that? You've got absolutely no idea what you're talking about! I will not let you treat my best friends and myself included like that! You don't deserve her and Booth didn't deserve what you did to him either. Don't try to make us all look bad Sully, we all want what's best for Bren, every single one of us. If she decided to go with you we would have been happy for her, although we would've missed her. But seeing you like this, I am so glad that she decided to stay. Cause she's way better off here! And don't say I'm trying to brainwash her again or something cause hell I'm just saying it, the way it is!"
Brennan was focused on Angela, trying not to cry, and didn't see Sully coming, pinning her to the wall and trying to kiss her. She ducked away as quick as possible and started pushing him away.
"You're pathetic!", she screamed filled with anger and tears, "I can't believe I ever dated you in the first place, I never loved you and I never will! You're a jerk, I don't ever want to see you again. Get out!"
By this time Booth was next to her, throwing a protective arm around her and pulling her a little closer to him. Sully didn't seem completely convinced to leave yet.
"GET OUT!", none of them had ever heard Brennan this hysterical, Sully grabbed everything he could find on his way out and stumbled out of the apartment, clearly shocked by Brennan's outburst.
Brennan was still trying to catch her breath when she broke out in tears and Booth pulled her in a complete hug.
Even Angela was shaking, though her friend hadn't said anything to her, she wanted to say something but wasn't sure whether her voice would actually let her.
"Err okay, I guess I should go, let you guys talk you know…alone…and stuff. I uhh should tell the others the good news, about Booth's recovery you know. Anyway we should celebrate, tonight, a little party. I'll text you when and where."
And with these words Angela left as well, leaving Booth and Brennan in the middle of his living room, hugging each other.
When the door closed Brennan let out a breath she didn't know she was still holding. Booth seemed to pull her even closer with that and she buried her face in the crook of his neck.
"You know, you just kicked somebody out of my house.", Booth said, giving her his cocky grin. She couldn't help but laugh along.
After that they were silent for a few moments again, until he broke it. "I'm sorry", he said again, for more than one reason, not just because of the thing with Sully, but also for forgetting her and everything else she had suffered for since his surgery.
She looked up at him from her spot on his neck. "You've got nothing to be sorry for. None of it was your fault, Booth."
They were quiet for a few moments, before Booth broke the silence again. "You know, I've got to give Sully credit for the decoration. That table doesn't look bad."
Brennan followed his gaze to his nicely made table and couldn't help but laugh, 'her' Booth was certainly back.
"Well how about we see what we can find here, can't throw it all away, now can we?" Booth gave her his goofiest grin and led her to the table, taking her chair for her and letting her sit on it before getting the plate out of the oven.
They had a very nice and cozy meal, enjoying each other's company, finally being Booth and Bones again.
After dessert they had moved from the table to his sofa where they just made some small talk, until Brennan decided she really had some things to say.
Booth saw her face turn serious and wondered what was about to come. She looked like she wanted to say something, something important, but he thought he had some big announcements to make himself.
Of course he thought that whatever she had to say, wouldn't be anything like what he had figured out these last few weeks.
"Booth I think we should talk. Well technically I am the one who wants to say something, but it's only logical to assume that you will participate in this conversation, for it wouldn't be a real conversation without two people who actually talk."
She was just rambling to not have to say what was really bugging her, but she would have to come clean eventually, so she took a deep breath, sighed deeply and paused for a moment, searching for words.
"First I want to ask you not to interrupt, please don't say anything until I'm done. I don't think I'll manage to say everything I need to otherwise." When she saw him nodding, she continued.
"Sully said the real reason I didn't want to go with him was because of you, because I didn't want to leave you. Well honestly I don't know if he's right or not. I'm pretty sure I didn't stay for you consciously, but subconsciously? I don't know.
Point is that if I would stand for that exact same ultimatum today, I would stay and I would know it was mainly for you. I can't tell whether it's always been like that or if it's just like that now, and it frustrates me, not to know something. But there really is no point about analyzing it further, cause considering my emotional difficulties I'm probably not going to figure it out anyway. The important thing is that I wouldn't doubt to stay now.
When you went into surgery and reacted poorly to the anesthetics…it was one of the scariest moments of my life. When I heard you fell in a coma, I…I didn't know what to do, I didn't know what to tell everyone. I sat there for four days, hoping you would wake up, knowing what the chances were and when you woke up…I've never been more relieved in my entire life. I can't even describe how it felt when you asked me who I was."
She tried to stop the tears from rolling down her cheeks, but she wasn't really successful. She avoided Booth's eyes, which were watery too.
"I knew it wasn't your fault, or the doctor's, but I just felt like I had to get mad at somebody, like somebody had to be the blame for this. I just kept wondering what you did to deserve that, what I did to deserve that.
I'm not saying that this has been a good thing for all of us, I don't believe in such a crap like 'it only made our family closer' and that stuff. I mean of course we were all worried and we all sought some comfort with each other, but I really don't want to search for good stuff coming out of the bad. I never did and I could have done it a hundred times in the past if I wanted to. But it did make me realize one thing, I can't imagine my life without you.
For the past four years, you've always been there whenever I needed you, you helped me through a lot of difficult situations and I know by now I couldn't have done some things without you. People say they can't live without someone, I think that's irrational, you're perfectly capable of living without certain people and it really isn't because they die that you die too, it's physically impossible. So I'm not going to say that, I could live without you…I just don't want to.
I care for you Booth and I trust you. People come and go in my life, but somehow I always trust that you will stay. You've taught me a lot Booth, about life itself, about love. That word had absolutely no meaning to me before you came into my life and maybe I'm still not entirely sure what love is, but I'm starting to think that I have an idea of what it's like. I know it can hurt very much, but I have to stop shying myself away from it, I came to realize that you can't have happiness without pain.
I know there's a line, maybe that's exactly why I didn't face this sooner, maybe I'm scared of losing you, of losing what we have, but I want to be honest with you, always. And I'm done lying to everyone including myself, someone once told me that you shouldn't have any 'what ifs' in your life.
Somehow I feel like I don't deserve to say these words, because I don't know if I fully know what I'm saying, but I think I love you Booth. And if there really is someone out there for everyone, someone you're meant to spent the rest of your life with, then I think I already found that person. I've never believed in long lasting relationships. But if I would consider to spend the rest of my life with only one person, then it would be you." She kept staring at her hands, which were folded awkwardly in her lap. He gently cupped her chin in his hand and lifted her head, forcing her to look at him.
"You know, although I couldn't remember you, I immediately felt comfortable with you. It didn't matter that I couldn't tell exactly who you were, from the first moment I lay my eyes on you, I knew you were very important to me. And I was right, apart from Parker, you are the most important person in my life, I give more about your life than about my own. I'm scared Bones, scared of losing you and scared of not being good enough for you."
She wanted to protest but he lay a finger across her lips to stop her from talking.
"I once drew that line, thinking I was the only one needing it. I love you Bones, maybe I always have and I probably always will, I love you more than I ever loved anyone. I just think you deserve better than a guy like me Bones. You deserve someone far more intelligent, who can stimulate your genius brain and keep you alert, who can keep a conversation with you. A good person, who doesn't carry around such a bad past like I do."
This time she had to interrupt him.
"Booth, you are smart, you can keep me alert. When has one of our conversations ever run dead? I enjoy talking to you and I love being with you. I don't care about your past, look at my own, maybe that's why we understand each other so well, we both didn't have the easiest life. You are a good person Booth, I respect you for how you handled your past." "Bones would you please think properly about what I have just said. Maybe someday a guy will come along who's way better for you than I am, who's more like you and I don't think I can handle losing you then."
She could see the fear in his eyes, but he needed to know that wasn't going to happen.
"I don't care how many guys come along, I just want you. I don't need my equal, I need someone like you, to teach me about pop culture and emotions and sports and love and all that. Look, if you really think that big of me, then don't you think I'm capable of making my own choices?"
Booth just nodded. It was all the answer she needed. With a faint smile crossing her face, she leaned in slightly and lightly brushed her lips over his.
She pulled back a little to look him in the eye, both of them could see fear, both of them could see love and maybe that was really all that mattered.
Coming to realize that, Booth closed the gap between them and this time kissed Brennan himself, first ever so softly, then more passionately.
When they broke apart, they leaned their foreheads against each other, drowning in the others beautiful eyes.
Until Brennan's phone went off, she took her mobile to read the message and shook her head while seeing what it was all about.
"Angela.", she said simply.
"Oh no, what is she up to now?"
Brennan read the message out loud: "Alright, party tonight. We expect you and agent FBeye-candy at Hodgings's place by 7. We have a lot to celebrate! Maybe even more than people think right now? ;) Whatever you and handsome over there are doing, don't be late! Kisses Ange. Oh and don't forget to dress up just a little."
Booth looked at Brennan."Dress up a little? Coming from Angela, that doesn't sound very good."
Booth agreed. "Typically her, this is going to be a long evening!"
Brennan nodded. "Booth maybe we shouldn't tell them yet…about us I mean."
She wasn't sure if she could refer to them as 'us', but Booth's warm smile and flickering brown eyes made her relax again.
Then Booth's face turned serious again and he nodded. "Like I said, this is going to be a long, long night."
So that was the first chapter, normally there will be another one, which will be all about the party. But only if people are interested of course!
CherryXMe
