Health Class 101 With The Cullen's
Disclaimer: PFFTTT I don't own Twilight…and yet I own this story…but not Twilight (very complicated process)
JUST IMAGINE!!!! Rosalie and Alice, and Emmett and Jasper (Edward and Bella decided to go to college again, Renesmee…quality time with Jacobo [yes Jacobo]) are in the same Health Class together…they think they know everything that'll happen here in this dreary town of Forks, or do they? When their teacher springs a new assignment up, it'll make a hilarious journey into Health Class With The Cullen's…
The first chapter is in third person; it will be the start point and branch out to different POV's making this story…even more…uh
~Enjoy~
The Cullen's all sat absentmindedly in Mr. Molina's health class staring out the window. They had all experienced this class, over and over again. Rosalie turned around to give a small wave to Emmett, not minding that Mr. Molina was walking up the aisle. Alice, on the other hand stared into the white board trying to figure out what Edward and Bella were doing. All in all it made for a very repeating class.
"Alright, tomorrow class we will be starting a BRAND NEW program! The school board thinks it's high time that you start with this program before adult hood."
Rosalie rolled her eyes and yawned, "So what is it Mr. M?" Mr. Molina stared at her, "Raise your hand next time Ms. Hale, and I am not obliged to tell you until the appointed time." Alice snickered and stood up fluidly as soon as the bell rang she waved her hand, "Good bye Mr. Molina."
Whilst in the hall, Jasper and Alice secretly linked arms along with Rosalie and Emmett. They had nothing to fear of course, but still the principal would not tolerate public displays of affection. Emmett sighed, "What do you think we have in store for tomorrow?" Rose looked to Alice, "See anything little sprite, thing?" Alice smiled, "Well, it looks like we will be in…in…oh no, he's teaching the joys of parent hood."
Emmett laughed, "Parent hood, COOL! What's a parent hood?" Jasper snickered, "Like Carlisle and Esme doof…" "Oh," Emmett chided. Alice smiled again, "its okay Em, will talk about this at home…" As they neared the cafeteria, Rosalie pulled out her bag of carrots and grinned, "Chow time guys." Alice let go of Jasper and walked through the door silently. They took their places at the farthest end of the cafeteria avoiding all possible attention.
"I miss Edward, and Bella…" Alice said, Rosalie smiled this time, "Well, I'm not so-." "Rosalie," Jasper entered in a warning tone. Rose sighed and went back to nibbling her sole carrot, "It was just a comment." Emmett looked at her, "All I really want to figure out is this…parent hood thing. The table shuddered and creaked in response.
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"Daddy?" Alice called into the house, dropping her bag onto the floor "Are you home? Emmett has a um, question." Carlisle sped down the hallway from his study with Esme in tow. "Yes princess?" Rosalie gagged and answered Alice's open mouth, "Emmett has a question." Esme looked sternly at Rosalie and turned to Emmett, "What is it Emmett?" Emmett shuffled his foot, "What's a parent hood?"
Carlisle choked, "WHAT!" Emmett walked over to Jasper and put his arm around his shoulder, Esme stared horrified. "His WIFE had a vision and we are going to have to live through a whole WEEK of parent hood and babies." Esme let out and audible sigh, "Well then that's fine Emmett, parent hood is a blessing even though…you guys can't have kids anyway." "You know," Esme voice was starting to crack "you guys are lucky that you will get to experience it longer t-t-than I did," she looked to Carlisle and ran up the stairs. There was a perceptible slam of the door.
"What's up with her?" Emmett answered. Alice and Rosalie rolled their eyes, "EMMETT!" Both girls sped up the stairs leaving Carlisle to scold Emmett. The door to the room was inevitably locked when Rosalie tried to turn it. "Damn it mom, open the door." They heard the metal lock click and the door fling open; Esme was sitting back in a dismal heap. "You know he didn't mean it Es, lighten up!" Esme threw the sketchbook off her lap, "I know, it's still hard for me to talk about it. At least with your baby it won't DIE LIKE MINE."
Alice dragged Rosalie out the door with an exhale as Esme started sobbing again. "Carlisle your wife needs you," Carlisle sighed and looked at Emmett, "Great job." Emmett shrugged his shoulders and went to pick up Rosalie, "Let's be partners babe." Alice raised one finger, glazing over her eyes, "Uh, problem Emmett Mr. Molina is pairing us with our desk partners." Emmett looked at Jasper, "Him?" Rosalie sniggered, "Good luck with Mr. I'm So Calm." Jasper ripped out a snarl and advanced towards Rosalie, "Hmm now is that a threat or a promise big boy?" Alice sighed and pushed Jasper back next to Emmett's side.
"Rose, why is your head so insanely BIG?" Rosalie huffed and sat down on the couch. "I don't know Alice, it's your husband…" Alice shot Jasper a hate filled look and plopped down next to Rosalie. "I'm surprised Carlisle hasn't given us 'the talk' this year." Jasper said. Emmett laughed, "Well don't you think he would get tired of giving us that 'talk' every year, what has it been number 120?" Carlisle came down the stairs quickly, "Thank you for reminding me Emmett, now kids if you would all sit down."
"EMMETT!"
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"THAT WAS HORRIBLE, I'll need brain surgery now!" Rosalie yelled deafly into Emmett's ear. He laughed, "Aww, come on Rose there's always next year." Rosalie rolled her eyes and turned to Alice. "I'm thirsty, let's leave these bozo's behind…please." Jasper winced, "Ouch, that hurts." Emmett winked at him, "Oh she wants me…" "As if Emmett," Jasper responded. Emmett gave a blank stare, "When was the last time you and Alic-." Jasper's hand shot out to smack Emmett's mouth, "It's none of your business."
Emmett clicked his tongue, "Alright bro, but all I'm saying is-." "EMMETT!" Jasper shouted. "People have been doing that the whole day…I wonder why." Jasper inhaled, "I wonder why you're such an idiot…"
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"Alright class, you and your DESK PARTNER have a whole week with this lovely baby that I have thrown on your desk." Jasper raised his hand, "Mr. Molina, can you explain the anatomy of the baby?" Mr. Molina paused, "It's a robot Mr. Hale, it has real life baby emotions, it gets hungry, it needs changing, and it cries for Pete sake." Rosalie snorted, "Do you have a comment Ms. Hale?" "Yeah," Rosalie started, Alice shot her a disapproving look. "No…" Rosalie sulked.
Mr. Molina sighed and continued, "Be careful what you say, there is a little recorder in each of the babies that turns on AT random. You have been warned."
Each of them took a look at the baby…
"This should be fun…"TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK!!!! I appreciate your reviews, and tell me who you think would be POV'd first! I think it should be Rose or Alice, one of the girls. But REVIEW REVIEW!!!! Look forward to the next chapters in…(dun dun dun) Health Class One-Oh-One!!!
