Disclaimer: Everything belongs to DC! I no make money!
AN: This idea has been haunting me for a long time now, and I am quite happy to finally realize it. It's just a pointless piece of fluff showing off Bat family dynamics and romances.
DickBabs, TimSteph, a really small pinch of JasonCass, and Damian is the poor lonely boy, lol.
I am not too familiar with Steph, only the impression that she is bright and fun, hopefully I didn't make her too bright and fun.
That's all, enjoy!
This was one of those highly unusual days when the entire brood was in the Batcave. A string of shootings aimed at GCPD officers had the entire city in an uproar, the resident family of Bats included; added to that were the multiple assassination attempts on Commissioner James Gordon and the compromise of Oracle's location, making for a very long and grueling fortnight. Every member of the family came in to help. Finally it looked as if the situation was wrapped up, the new organization behind these crimes was unmasked, nearly all the would-be assassins arrested, and Oracle has systematically routed out the organization's every bank account in thirteen different countries, making her operation fund suddenly very flush.
When Batman and Robin returned to the cave they found the normally sterile and dark place a rather homey scene. Oracle was in front of a set of computers, doing her hacking magic; Nightwing was beside her with a head set, ostensibly monitoring Batman and Robin but more interested in watching Oracle work and telling her random little jokes. Red Robin pored over GCPD files at another set of screens, trying to set up a protection and contingency plan of sorts. Batgirl paced bored circles around him, unabashedly flirting, golden hair bouncing like rays of sunshine on water. Black Bat was playing chess with Alfred, while Red Hood watched beside them, arms crossed in front of his chest and glaring, but would not move from his position.
Robin, now nearly fourteen years old, made a habitual "tt" sound as he took in the scene. He was more than a little surly and dearly wanted to tell everyone to "get a room", but in a rare moment of self-restraint he withheld the insult, and steeled himself to brace another mission—one that seemed quite appropriate given the present scene.
Beside him Batman strode up to his large brood of "children" and said in his usual very business-like voice, "The last two members of the organization have fled to California; it is no longer a priority, but Red Robin, bring them in ASAP once you are back there. I expect reports in my computer by tomorrow night. Oracle, Red Robin, you two come back here in person tomorrow, we need to finalize future security plans. And everyone—"
A very tiny smiled surfaced on Batman's face, "Good job."
"Of course, it's us," Nightwing said with a 100-watt grin, wrapping his arms around Oracle's shoulders.
"Exactly," Batgirl concurred, playing with Red Robin's cape.
Even Black Bat gave Red Hood a pretty little smile.
Robin rolled his eyes behind his domino mask and for the second time this night stopped himself from saying "get a room". Instead he cleared his throat and said, "Father, I have a proposition for you to consider."
The young boy could tell Batman was raising an eyebrow behind his cowl. "Go on," Batman said.
"May I have a…"
And everyone in the cave groaned collectively.
"Robin, do not tell me you picked up another stray animal somewhere, again," Batman said, then looked at Alfred's general direction, "I can hardly burden Alfred with yet another one."
Alfred replied in his ever serene manner, "If that is your wish and Master Bruce is amenable to it, I should not object. But Master Damian, do consider very carefully if our hound and cat and small flock of various birds might welcome a new addition, and the added responsibility of yet another pet in the manor."
"I did not pick up another animal!" Robin said with clear annoyance, "That was not my question."
"So what is it?"
So Robin started again, "I was going to ask, father, may I have a Batgirl?"
And the room stared back in silence.
"I have already picked out the ideal candidate," Robin continued in a calm but utterly serious manner, "After months of observation and subtle tests. She certainly has the courage, the aptitude, and the desire, comparable to all her predecessors. Once we bring her into the fold, I can be responsible of her training, though you will have to supply the costume and some equipment…"
Finally the rest of the occupants in the cave reacted, all at once.
"This better not be related to the League of Assassins in any shape or form…" Batman growled.
Oracle's exclaim was short but full of punch, delivered with a glare, "You did what?!"
And Nightwing held up his hands, "Wow, Li'l D, you really need to slow down there. Please tell me you didn't plant the idea of becoming a masked vigilante in some poor girl's head, that would be way too much, even for you…"
Batgirl was the most direct. She walked right up to Robin, poked a finger at his forehead, and said with a bright but obviously threatening smile, "Oh, you little monster, I am Batgirl, okay? I don't feel like retiring just yet."
Robin glared back, unimpressed but annoyed, and the boy said with a little snort, "Mere technicality. You can just change your codename, wear a different costume, matters not. In any case my Batgirl will certainly be more adept than you, Brown."
"Ooh, I get it, so I am not good enough for the, quote on quote, 'greatest Robin of them all'?" Batgirl laughed as she said this. She was not upset, only amused. When she first met this young, arrogant Robin she was indeed quite irritated by the boy, but by now she could laugh at all his antics. Even in moments like this she was still very fond of him.
"Tt, I suppose you are adequate, Brown," Robin admitted grudgingly, "Even if you don't have the fighting prowess of your predecessor and the mental brilliance of the first Batgirl, you are fine."
"I should thank you, but I really don't feel that complimented."
"But that's not the point," Robin ignored her and continued, "You are not my Batgirl, that's the point. You are Drake's Batgirl, what a thought." At the end there was actually a grimace on Robin's face.
There was stunned silence in the cave once more. Batgirl was the first to recover and react. She laughed so hard she was nearly out of breath, before pinching Robin's cheek and saying, "Aww sweetie, is that what it's all about? Don't worry, I can be your Batgirl too." With that she gave Robin a wink of mock flirtation.
"Steph!" Red Robin hissed from behind her.
"That's enough," Batman growled again, "Don't be ridiculous, Robin."
"That is hardly ridiculous, father," Robin said indignantly, "Every Robin before me had his Batgirl. Grayson and Gordon are still at it, Todd somehow managed to steal the League's field leader—by the way you do not deserve her, Todd—and of course Drake has Brown. It is hardly fair I should be the only Robin without a Batgirl. Robin needs a partner."
"Your partner is me, Robin," By now Batman was sounding annoyed too. Really, what do boys have in their heads these days?
"Sure, but that is only one kind of partnership. Obviously the Robin-Batgirl partnership is also necessary."
"I was not anyone's Batgirl," Oracle said in her usual matter-of-fact way, "This role has always been more of a freelancer. You already work very well with Steph, Robin; why the need of another stable field partner?"
Black Bat nodded and said, "Oracle is right. Batgirl is on her own. I was not Jason's Batgirl; I did not meet him when he was Robin."
Being hood-free and only with his mask on, Red Hood's smirk was plain for all to see. "Yeah, I didn't meet Cass as Robin; I got Barbie too, inherited everything from Golden Boy over there, including the Barbie. Those were some fine times."
Oracle threw him an annoyed glance, while Nightwing said in a light but still menacing voice, "Careful now, Jay."
Batgirl laughed harder and gave her boyfriend a long, sultry look. "Well, as you know, Robin," She said, "I was Robin too, yeah? Timmy here was my whatever, not the other way around."
"Steph!"
This was the third time this night Robin had a swallow the "Get a room!" line. He turned to Batman instead and said with a smirk, "You see now, father? So may I have my Batgirl?"
"NO!" The entire cave barked at him
"Tt," Robin glared back at them all petulantly.
There was a long, awkward silence, and then Alfred coughed.
"You know, Master Damian," The old butler said in a perfectly serene and even voice, "This young lady who you believe should become your Batgirl, you can always simply ask her out on a date."
