Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters listed below. Excel Saga
isn't mine either, but if it was, please call the authorities right now to
institutionalize me.
-----
Access Saga, The Other Application
Street Fighter/Excel Saga x-over
Chap 1- Hail IlPalazzo!!!
-------
The room was dark. It was most definitely dark with its badly placed ominous lighting, throwing the light in really bad directions that somehow managed to illuminate nothing important at all. It was the type of room that great evil plans were made. Three particular lights illuminated three particular figures, not to say that they were un-important, but to show that they were in the room.
"Hail Ilpalazzo-sama!" Screamed the one with the short brown hair. I would've liked to say she yelled, but her voice was much to grating for that.
The other one, attempted to salute and mimic her partner. However, when Ilpalazzo-sama grinned at her, another emotion completely took over.
So instead of yelling, screaming, or exclaiming "Hail Ilpalazzo!" She ran across the room, toward the stone throne, which illuminated an imposing figure in red, who had a big stupid grin on his face, and cried out "Die Bison! Damn you!!"
Sakura Kasugano scratched her nose and watched as Bison was beat to a bloody pulp. "Anoooou....Cammy-san. You're not supposed to beat up our boss..."
Blood splattering onto her face, she screamed, "Ah hell! I've beat up my boss before! I could do it again dammit!!!"
"..." Disagreed the bloody pulp that was Bison from the floor.
"Ah dammit...Take two!" Yelled Sakura at the director.
-------
The room was dark. It was most definitely dark with its bad lighting ominously throwing the light in really bad directions like Michael Jordan on the baseball field. It somehow managed to illuminate nothing at all, at least nothing important. It was the type of room that great evil plans were made. Three particular lights illuminated three particular figures. Not to say that they were un-important.
"Hail Ilpalzzo-sama!" Squeeled the one with two blond pigtails. I would've liked to say she yelled, but her present incarnation's voice was much to high-pitched for that.
Ah, She thought to herself. Now here's someone who I can tolerate.
The other girl, attempted to salute and say the same thing as her partner. However, when Il-palazzo-sama looked at her with his trademark totally bland emotionless face, another emotion completely took over.
So instead of yelling, screaming, or exclaiming "Hail Ilpalazzo!" She ran across the room, toward the stone throne which illuminated an imposing figure in white who had as much emotion on his face as a stone wall, and cried out "Ryuuuuuuu-saaaaamaaaaaaaaaaaaah!!"
Cammy watched as Sakura tackled Ryu through the stone throne, possibly breaking his back.
Cammy blinked, then turned to the directors.
"Medic!" She yelled.
-------
"Whose the man with the master plan who wears a pink gi like no one else can??!"
"DAN!!" Squeaked a mysterious female voice.
"You damn right." Oozed Dan as he winked at his two followers, like Steven Segal high on crack.
"NEXT!" yelled Sakura and Cammy.
-------
"..." Said Cammy.
"..." Said Sakura.
"..." Said Akuma
"Anou..." Said Sakura.
"I will eat your soul and wear you're skin as a hat." Said Akuma.
"Criminy, someone get a replacement, please!" Said Cammy.
-------
Sakura would've been screaming her head off by now, but Darkstalkers had incredibly strong grips.
"MMPH!" Screamed Sakura.
"I vill suck your bvlood!" Exclaimed Demitri, illegally putting in a 'V' where it shouldn't be.
"Cannon Spike!" Said Cammy as she booted the rather overlooked main character of the Darkstalker series, who was usurped by his co-star who had just the right assets for the target audience, and launched him into the outer stratosphere.
Making a cutting motion across her throat, she grinned cockily, "That'll show you, you bloody f'n arsehole!"
"Ow..." Said Sakura from the floor.
------
Cammy and Sakura watched as the gurney was lead out by the two medics.
"Poor Gen-san!" Cried Sakura as she bounced. The hems of her shirt flapped up to show off her sports bra, "He was so healthy for an old man, I can't believe he would just die like that."
"Looks like he had a heart attack..." Said Cammy, as she pulled at that piece of cloth that always seemed to ride up her ass when she wore her Shadowlaw unfirom.
Sakura turned toward her, her skirt flaring up slightly to show off her red panties, "Oh that's terrible! I wonder what caused it?"
Cammy turned around, presenting the stone throne that Gen had sat on, her bare ass, "Geez I dunno. Maybe he ate something that didn't agree with him..."
-----
The stage crew, Cammy, and Sakura sat around the studio, pondering their present situation.
"Aaaahh.." Sighed Cammy, "This is hopeless...Maybe this was a bad idea..."
Sakura swung her legs under her as she sat on a large wooden box, "But Karin-san, Ken-san, Chunli-san, and Guile-san wanted to see this!" She whined.
Cammy glared at Sakura, "And whose idea was it to show those guys Excel- saga in the first place? Huh??"
Sakura edged away from her and hid behind her hands, "Sorry."
Cammy leaned back in her chair, and looked at the ceiling, "But what can we do? We just can't find a good Ilpalazzo-sama."
Suddenly, Sakura's eyes brightened and she snapped her fingers, "Hey! I know someone who could play a good Ilpallazzo-sama!!" She exclaimed.
Cammy quirked an eyebrow, "Oh yeah? Who?"
Sakura grinned at her, "Well you might know him. He was in the last tournament. He's already a snazzy dresser, and he's already a master at looking bishounen!"
Cammy furrowed her eyebrows in concentration, "Who... " Then her eyes widened in realization, "You don't mean..." She said making clawing motions with her hands.
"Unn!" She nodded enthusiastically.
Cammy rubbed her chin thoughtfully, "Hmmm...Well, that might not be such a bad idea." Mentally, she calculated that at worse he would destroy the set they working on. That meant they wouldn't have to do this production anymore. Plus, he would end up paying for his own actions...
"OK!" Exclaimed Cammy, "Let's get him!"
"Yeah!" Squealed Sakura throwing a fist into the air.
--------
*Knock Knock*
Deep sexy male Voice: "Who is it?"
Two Female Voices: "Special Delivery!"
Surprised sexy Male Voice: "What??"
*Bam* *Crash*
High Pitched Female Voice: "Cannon Spike!"
Tomboyishly Rough Female Voice: "Shouoken!"
Incredibly pissed off Sexy Male Voice: "Godammit!"
Female Voice: "I think we got him!"
Incredibly Angry Raging Blood of the Destoryer God Sexy Male Voice: "GWOOOOH!"
Female Voice: "Ah my god! He's biting me!"
Sexy Male voice full of clothing: "Shonno Mama Sfhin-ne!!"
*Whiff* *Bang* *FWWWOOSH*
Female Voice: "Argh! My eye!"
Female Voice: "Ah!! My skirts on fire! Put it out! put it out!"
Female Voice: "Let Go dammit!"
*Whap* *Bam* *Whap* *Bam* *Whap* *Bam* *Whap* *Bam* *Boing* *Squeaky squeaky* *BAM*
Dazed Sexy Male Voice: "...Stupid...women...."
"Haha! We did it!"
---------
The room was dark. It was very dark. The light threw ominous shadows, mostly because the lighting crew was too lazy to set the lamps up correctly. It looked like the type of room that great evil plans were made. Three particular lights illuminated three particular figures. Two of them stood next to a throne where another figure was bound with rubber cables.
"Hail Ilpalzzo-sama!" Screamed two women, one with the short brown hair, and one with long blond pigtails.
Iori Yagami, the red haired bastard child of the cursed Orochi clan who was not Irish by the way, glared at the both them.
"I will kill the both you..." He growled ferally under his breath.
"Ah C'mon Iori, what's your problem?" Asked Cammy, standing at his left.
"Jeez I don't know," He grumbled, "Maybe its because you came to my house, beat the hell out of me, put me in an incredibly bad looking dress and tied me to a chair."
Sakura placed a hand on one of his two foot long iron shoulder pads, "Just play along with us a little longer, 'k Iori-kun?"
Iori tried to bite her hand off, but the metal shoulder pads and the fact that he was tied to a chair, limited his movement.
"This world is an evil place." Snarled Iori.
"Good!" Yelled Cammy, "Now louder and with more emotion!"
"ARGH!" He replied, throwing his head back and screaming at God, who he now knew was a heartless bastard.
"See, told you he'd make a good Ilpalazzo," Said Sakura over Iori's head.
----------
Next Episode: Ryu is dead.
----------
To Be continued?
Author's note: That was fun! ^_^
-----
Access Saga, The Other Application
Street Fighter/Excel Saga x-over
Chap 1- Hail IlPalazzo!!!
-------
The room was dark. It was most definitely dark with its badly placed ominous lighting, throwing the light in really bad directions that somehow managed to illuminate nothing important at all. It was the type of room that great evil plans were made. Three particular lights illuminated three particular figures, not to say that they were un-important, but to show that they were in the room.
"Hail Ilpalazzo-sama!" Screamed the one with the short brown hair. I would've liked to say she yelled, but her voice was much to grating for that.
The other one, attempted to salute and mimic her partner. However, when Ilpalazzo-sama grinned at her, another emotion completely took over.
So instead of yelling, screaming, or exclaiming "Hail Ilpalazzo!" She ran across the room, toward the stone throne, which illuminated an imposing figure in red, who had a big stupid grin on his face, and cried out "Die Bison! Damn you!!"
Sakura Kasugano scratched her nose and watched as Bison was beat to a bloody pulp. "Anoooou....Cammy-san. You're not supposed to beat up our boss..."
Blood splattering onto her face, she screamed, "Ah hell! I've beat up my boss before! I could do it again dammit!!!"
"..." Disagreed the bloody pulp that was Bison from the floor.
"Ah dammit...Take two!" Yelled Sakura at the director.
-------
The room was dark. It was most definitely dark with its bad lighting ominously throwing the light in really bad directions like Michael Jordan on the baseball field. It somehow managed to illuminate nothing at all, at least nothing important. It was the type of room that great evil plans were made. Three particular lights illuminated three particular figures. Not to say that they were un-important.
"Hail Ilpalzzo-sama!" Squeeled the one with two blond pigtails. I would've liked to say she yelled, but her present incarnation's voice was much to high-pitched for that.
Ah, She thought to herself. Now here's someone who I can tolerate.
The other girl, attempted to salute and say the same thing as her partner. However, when Il-palazzo-sama looked at her with his trademark totally bland emotionless face, another emotion completely took over.
So instead of yelling, screaming, or exclaiming "Hail Ilpalazzo!" She ran across the room, toward the stone throne which illuminated an imposing figure in white who had as much emotion on his face as a stone wall, and cried out "Ryuuuuuuu-saaaaamaaaaaaaaaaaaah!!"
Cammy watched as Sakura tackled Ryu through the stone throne, possibly breaking his back.
Cammy blinked, then turned to the directors.
"Medic!" She yelled.
-------
"Whose the man with the master plan who wears a pink gi like no one else can??!"
"DAN!!" Squeaked a mysterious female voice.
"You damn right." Oozed Dan as he winked at his two followers, like Steven Segal high on crack.
"NEXT!" yelled Sakura and Cammy.
-------
"..." Said Cammy.
"..." Said Sakura.
"..." Said Akuma
"Anou..." Said Sakura.
"I will eat your soul and wear you're skin as a hat." Said Akuma.
"Criminy, someone get a replacement, please!" Said Cammy.
-------
Sakura would've been screaming her head off by now, but Darkstalkers had incredibly strong grips.
"MMPH!" Screamed Sakura.
"I vill suck your bvlood!" Exclaimed Demitri, illegally putting in a 'V' where it shouldn't be.
"Cannon Spike!" Said Cammy as she booted the rather overlooked main character of the Darkstalker series, who was usurped by his co-star who had just the right assets for the target audience, and launched him into the outer stratosphere.
Making a cutting motion across her throat, she grinned cockily, "That'll show you, you bloody f'n arsehole!"
"Ow..." Said Sakura from the floor.
------
Cammy and Sakura watched as the gurney was lead out by the two medics.
"Poor Gen-san!" Cried Sakura as she bounced. The hems of her shirt flapped up to show off her sports bra, "He was so healthy for an old man, I can't believe he would just die like that."
"Looks like he had a heart attack..." Said Cammy, as she pulled at that piece of cloth that always seemed to ride up her ass when she wore her Shadowlaw unfirom.
Sakura turned toward her, her skirt flaring up slightly to show off her red panties, "Oh that's terrible! I wonder what caused it?"
Cammy turned around, presenting the stone throne that Gen had sat on, her bare ass, "Geez I dunno. Maybe he ate something that didn't agree with him..."
-----
The stage crew, Cammy, and Sakura sat around the studio, pondering their present situation.
"Aaaahh.." Sighed Cammy, "This is hopeless...Maybe this was a bad idea..."
Sakura swung her legs under her as she sat on a large wooden box, "But Karin-san, Ken-san, Chunli-san, and Guile-san wanted to see this!" She whined.
Cammy glared at Sakura, "And whose idea was it to show those guys Excel- saga in the first place? Huh??"
Sakura edged away from her and hid behind her hands, "Sorry."
Cammy leaned back in her chair, and looked at the ceiling, "But what can we do? We just can't find a good Ilpalazzo-sama."
Suddenly, Sakura's eyes brightened and she snapped her fingers, "Hey! I know someone who could play a good Ilpallazzo-sama!!" She exclaimed.
Cammy quirked an eyebrow, "Oh yeah? Who?"
Sakura grinned at her, "Well you might know him. He was in the last tournament. He's already a snazzy dresser, and he's already a master at looking bishounen!"
Cammy furrowed her eyebrows in concentration, "Who... " Then her eyes widened in realization, "You don't mean..." She said making clawing motions with her hands.
"Unn!" She nodded enthusiastically.
Cammy rubbed her chin thoughtfully, "Hmmm...Well, that might not be such a bad idea." Mentally, she calculated that at worse he would destroy the set they working on. That meant they wouldn't have to do this production anymore. Plus, he would end up paying for his own actions...
"OK!" Exclaimed Cammy, "Let's get him!"
"Yeah!" Squealed Sakura throwing a fist into the air.
--------
*Knock Knock*
Deep sexy male Voice: "Who is it?"
Two Female Voices: "Special Delivery!"
Surprised sexy Male Voice: "What??"
*Bam* *Crash*
High Pitched Female Voice: "Cannon Spike!"
Tomboyishly Rough Female Voice: "Shouoken!"
Incredibly pissed off Sexy Male Voice: "Godammit!"
Female Voice: "I think we got him!"
Incredibly Angry Raging Blood of the Destoryer God Sexy Male Voice: "GWOOOOH!"
Female Voice: "Ah my god! He's biting me!"
Sexy Male voice full of clothing: "Shonno Mama Sfhin-ne!!"
*Whiff* *Bang* *FWWWOOSH*
Female Voice: "Argh! My eye!"
Female Voice: "Ah!! My skirts on fire! Put it out! put it out!"
Female Voice: "Let Go dammit!"
*Whap* *Bam* *Whap* *Bam* *Whap* *Bam* *Whap* *Bam* *Boing* *Squeaky squeaky* *BAM*
Dazed Sexy Male Voice: "...Stupid...women...."
"Haha! We did it!"
---------
The room was dark. It was very dark. The light threw ominous shadows, mostly because the lighting crew was too lazy to set the lamps up correctly. It looked like the type of room that great evil plans were made. Three particular lights illuminated three particular figures. Two of them stood next to a throne where another figure was bound with rubber cables.
"Hail Ilpalzzo-sama!" Screamed two women, one with the short brown hair, and one with long blond pigtails.
Iori Yagami, the red haired bastard child of the cursed Orochi clan who was not Irish by the way, glared at the both them.
"I will kill the both you..." He growled ferally under his breath.
"Ah C'mon Iori, what's your problem?" Asked Cammy, standing at his left.
"Jeez I don't know," He grumbled, "Maybe its because you came to my house, beat the hell out of me, put me in an incredibly bad looking dress and tied me to a chair."
Sakura placed a hand on one of his two foot long iron shoulder pads, "Just play along with us a little longer, 'k Iori-kun?"
Iori tried to bite her hand off, but the metal shoulder pads and the fact that he was tied to a chair, limited his movement.
"This world is an evil place." Snarled Iori.
"Good!" Yelled Cammy, "Now louder and with more emotion!"
"ARGH!" He replied, throwing his head back and screaming at God, who he now knew was a heartless bastard.
"See, told you he'd make a good Ilpalazzo," Said Sakura over Iori's head.
----------
Next Episode: Ryu is dead.
----------
To Be continued?
Author's note: That was fun! ^_^
