This is the result of not being able to sleep at three in the morning and contemplating when to get my tattoo. Please enjoy!


Balls Awesome!

Kagome and Sango were just chilling at their makeshift camp, waiting for their male counterparts to come back with food and firewood. Shippo was snoring loudly by a tree and Kirara was having a kitty dream. The girls figured as much considering the little nekomata would kick, twitch and mew at random moments.

"Kagome, I'm so bored! We haven't fought any demons or bandits for that matter in what feels like ages! I'm growing restless, man. I can't do this! I'm freaking out. Talk me down, Kagome. Talk. Me. Down," Sango's hands were fisted in her hair and she began rocking back and forth, a crazy look adorned her features.

"Sango, calm the fuck down! Breathe, damn you!" Kagome shook her friend and slapped her across the face a few times for good measure. Sango calmed down considerably, but the crazy glint in her eyes never left. "We need to do something to pass the time. Everything is just too chill," she stated.

Kagome nodded in understanding. Suddenly, an evil look spread across her face. "Hey, Sango, I have an idea." Sango motioned for her to continue. "Let's annoy everyone we know." Sango smirked. "Great idea, Kagome! Who's our first victim?" Kagome tapped her chin thoughtfully. "Miroku," she sniggered. Sango nodded her head enthusiastically; Kagome thought it just might bounce off and roll away.

"Got any ideas?" Sango asked. Kagome grinned and whispered in her friend's ear. Sango's face lit up in a mischievous way. "Let's do it." With that, the girls set their plan into action.

A little while later, the boys returned with firewood and food. Sango looked to Kagome who only smirked. Miroku began situating the fire wood and once it was to his satisfaction, lit it and began to cook the fish.

After everyone was done eating, Kagome secretly slipped something into Miroku's drink before handing it to him. "Thank you, Kagome dear," he gave the young miko the most charming smile he could. As he was gulping down the warm liquid, Kagome and Sango had to stuff their fists in their mouths to stop from laughing.

About ten minutes later, Miroku was passed out cold on the ground. His snores were loud enough to wake the dead! He was also drooling and twitching. Kagome began to rummage through her enormous bag and gave a squeak of triumph when she found what she was looking for. Sango immediately began to giggle uncontrollably. Inuyasha noticed the girls' antics but chose to ignore them instead of questioning what was going on.

Sango and Kagome stealthily walked up to Miroku, items in hand. They squatted down to his level and began their work. When Miroku's body suddenly lurched forward in his sleep, the girls' jumped back and froze. Then Miroku fell back down with a grunt and mumbled something about "unicorns' butt-fucking sheep." Sango shook her head and went back to work. Kagome had to take a few moments to get a grip on herself before helping Sango.

Once done, the two stepped back to admire their work. "Oh, he's in for a surprise when he wakes up in the morning," Kagome stated simply. With that, they each crawled into their own respective sleeping bags and hunkered down for the night.

o0o

The next morning, Sango and Kagome were the first to wake up. They both stretched and began the task of cooking breakfast, all the while sneaking glances at the pranked Miroku. Inuyasha was the next to wake up. He jumped down from his perch and walked over to the girls. Shippo and Kirara awoke to the delicious smell of food, causing their little tummies to growl in approval.

Not much later, Miroku yawned and stirred. He sat up and popped his back. His friends all turned to greet him, and then stopped short. At the sight of the monk, Inuyasha's jaw went slack, Kirara cocked her head, Shippo's eyes went as wide as dinner plates and the girls were attempting to stop the laughter from issuing from their mouths (which they were failing miserably at).

Noticing his companions' reactions, Miroku spoke up. "What? Is there something on my face?" he asked. This only caused Sango and Kagome to completely lose it. Sango doubled over, holding her stomach. Kagome fell on her back and began rolling while gripping her sides. Neither girl could breathe.

Finally getting a hold of herself, Kagome answered the confused monk. "Nope." Sango sniggered. "Well, alright then. Let's eat!" Miroku said cheerfully. Inuyasha, Kirara and Shippo all looked at the girls. Sango gave them a look that clearly said, "Tell him and you're dead."

o0o

Once the makeshift campsite was cleared, the group stood up and began their journey once again. A few hours passed uneventfully. They decided it was time for lunch. Sango and Kagome immediately ran off to discuss their plans further.

"I can't wait to see what happens when we get to the village tonight!" Sango laughed. "Oh, I know! Miroku won't know what happened. We're balls awesome," Kagome said. Sango nodded her head in agreement.

I won't go into all that happened between the girls' chat and arriving at the next village. So, the group found the village and Miroku began to seek out the nicest inn there. He noticed all the weird looks everyone was giving him, but he shrugged it off. Finally, Miroku found what he was looking for and walked up to the inn and knocked on the door. After a few moments, the door slid open to reveal an elderly man.

"Good day, sir. I am here because I have noticed an ominous aura surrounding your establishment and I wish to help you," Miroku began. The innkeeper just looked on, utterly confused. "All I ask for in return is lodging tonight for my friends' and me."

"Umm, sure. Thank you, kind monk," the man shook his head and let Miroku begin his "exorcism." Once that was done, everyone was showed to their room. Everyone settled in and began a simple conversation. Miroku abruptly stood up and made up an excuse about scoping the area for any signs of demons or news of Naraku.

Sango and Kagome snuck out after him and trailed Miroku everywhere he went. He did his usual perverted stuff and the two couldn't help but laugh at the reactions of the village girls. One bold girl spoke up, "I don't mean to be rude, master, but what is wrong with your face?" You could tell that she and the other girls were repulsed.

"Why, whatever do you mean?" Miroku looked perplexed. At this moment, Kagome and Sango popped up in front of Miroku, a compact mirror in hand. Miroku took the mirror and stared at his reflection. "WHAT IN THE HOLY SEVEN SEAS OF CHEESE IS WRONG WITH MY FACE?" Kagome and Sango couldn't hold it in. The look on his face was priceless.

Kagome had to hand it to her and Sango. They did a great job on Miroku's "make over." His face was sheet white with powder and his lips were bright red. The purple eye shadow really brought out his eyes while the pink blush made his cheek bones stand out. He was definitely an ugly girl.

"SANGO AND KAGOME. I know you did this!" Miroku screeched as he chased the laughing girls' around the village. "HAVE MERCY!" Sango yelled while she jumped over a fallen log.


Chapter one of balls awesome is complete. On to chapter two!