Just Let Me Cry
Chapter One: I'll Stand By You…
Danny,I'm so sorry for running off last night. I was having a
lot of fun at first. I'm not much for school dances, you know that,
but being there with you was fun. I thought that I'd be okay. But
you were holding me, and that song came on. It was that damn
song… There are a lot of things that I never told you. My last
relationship wasn't exactly great. I thought that I loved the guy.
What we had was not love. He… I've never told anyone what he
did to me. I don't like to talk about it. I just have really bad
memories with that song. I hear it and it's like I'm back in that
place, in that relationship and I don't ever want to go back there,
and I don't want to relate those kind of memories with you. I
just freaked out. You deserve better, I feel like I'm holding you
down because I can't open up or let you in. But I swear, that if
you are willing to wait, I'll make it worth it. You mean SO much
to me. I love you as a friend, and when I look into our future,
I can see love of a deeper kind. I don't know what you feel.
I'm just laying it all out for you. I don't want it to end, not
like this, not in anyway. What we have is to good to be over.
So to answer your question, yes I still want to be with you…
do you still want to be with me?
Love,
Your SamThe note was slipped into my locker. I hold it to my face and inhale. A scent that is a strange mix of cherries, leather, gasoline and spring rain, the scent of Sam, carries to my nostrils, making me smile. What we have is wonderful. We may be somewhat distant, but we're growing. I sometimes get this feeling though. That I'm not the one for her, that there is someone out there that is so much better for her. I want to know who her ex-boyfriend is, and what he did. I would kill him. It kills me just knowing that someone hurt her that way. I love Sam as a friend, but I feel like I am already falling in love with her. I start to right.
Sam,
I understand. I had a wonderful time at the dance to.
It was nice having you there. I was so worried about you though.
You know that you can tell me anything right? I will understand,
and I won't think any different of you. You're my girlfriend, but
more than that, you are my best friend. The day that you said
yes to me, I became the happiest person in the world. What you
had with the last guy may not have been love, but what we have
is. What we have is amazing. We can't lose it. I want to be
with you, I don't think that anyone could change that. It's a
relief to know that I didn't hurt you though. You need to know
that whatever that guy did to you, it was NOT your fault.
Whatever he did was his own fault, and it was sick. If you
ever feel comfortable enough to tell me, to get it off your
chest, I'll listen. I won't judge and I'll try to help you. I
care about you so much. I love you as a friend, and I too
see a deeper love in our future. And there is a future for
us… a promising one.
Love ALWAYS,
Ghost Boy
P.S. You're not holding me down, you raise me up.
I slip it into her locker and head home. Three days ago our school held it's annual summer dance. I talked Sam into going with me. It's a semi-formal kind of thing. So I got a suit, with the help of Jazz. It was a smooth black, with a blue undershirt, and a silver tie. I shined up my shoes, and gelled my hair and everything. I went to pick her up and was shocked at what I saw. She opened the door wearing a strapless black corset top that had this red lace over it, and a long black skirt with a slit that went just past her knee, revealing her smooth, sculpted legs. Her hair was in thousands of braids, varying in size, and then pulled half-up. Her lashes were even longer than usual, and she had less eyeliner on than earlier in the day. She looked absolutely beautiful. I hadn't realized that I had been holding my breath, until I exhaled strongly. She looked embarrassed.
"What are you staring at?" she asked, blushing.
"An angel…" I say, not even thinking about it. Then I remembered her present, and swallowed hard trying to steady myself.
"Oh, I got you something." I say, pulling it out of my pocket.
She looked confused, but obliged when I told her to turn around. I hooked the necklace on her neck and she looked amazed when she saw it. It was a pewter cross that was about an inch long, held around her neck by two leather strands. In the center of the cross was a small red gem. Engraved in the back is "I'll stand by you…" Jazz didn't have to help me on this one.
"Danny! It's beautiful! It's perfect! Thank you!" she says astounded.
Then she shyly grabs something off of a table by the door. She hands it to me saying.
"I wanted to get you something, if you don't like it, It's okay…" she trailed off as I opened it. It was the exact watch that I had been looking at in the mall. Engraved on the back of the silver band is "I'll stand by you…"
"It's perfect Sam! Thank you so much! I was just looking atone of these but I couldn't afford it! You're the best!" I said, leaned in and kissed her cheek.
We then left for the dance. It was a beautiful night. We laughed and we danced to a couple of songs, but mostly just sat and talked. Then the song I Don't Wanna Miss A Thing by Aerosmith came on. I asked if she wanted to dance. She had a strange look on her face, but she stood up with me anyway. I held her close and I felt that something was off. I felt her tremble. I looked down to see her wipe a tear from her face. I'd never seen Sa, cry. I tried to talk to her, but then she just shook her head no and ran out. I chased her, but never caught up to her. I walked home alone that night. I never talked to anyone about it. Not Tucker, not even Jazz. I just want her to be okay. I want to save her.
