8 Weeks

Shit, I am an idiot. Shit, shit, shit.

Harvey glared at the little unassuming plastic wand with its very scary two pink stripes that indicated his life had just changed forever.

One stupid one-night stand and this is what I get.

Throwing the stick in the garbage he went into his bedroom to get dressed for work. He had no idea what he was going to do about this situation but he couldn't be late into the office again. As it was, he had been late pretty much every day for the last week as the morning sickness had delayed him each day with a vengeance. That particular symptom was his first indication that he could be pregnant. He had ignored the exhaustion and moodiness, but the vomiting was tough to discredit as being from working too much. It was starting to get embarrassing, as it had gone from just the morning to all day in very quick succession. Donna was clearly getting worried about him.

Brushing his teeth for the second time, he gathered himself up to face the day. He had no idea what he was going to do, but he figured, puking aside, he still had time to hide it and made a decision.

Mike greeted him outside as usual, with a big shit-eating grin. The kid had won a case the day before, all on his own without Harvey's help, and he was still in a gloating mood.

It wasn't until they got on the elevator that Harvey noticed that Mike had a hot dog in his hand from the vendor outside.

"That's a healthy breakfast." He tried to breath through his mouth to avoid the smell, but felt his stomach start churning nonetheless.

Mike just took a bite and grinned at him again. "I didn't have time to get anything else, food is food."

Harvey swallowed the bile back down and willed the elevator to move quicker. Mike started chattering away beside him between bites, going on about his awesome win and how Louis would have to actually thank him.

When the elevator doors opened Harvey dove off and took in a breath of fresher air, heading towards his office he knew he would need a minute to collect himself. He heard Mike go into Louis's office and was grateful that he hadn't followed him. He nodded at Donna and closed his office door before sitting down at his desk and resting his forehead on his arms. A few minutes of breathing and swallowing hard and the nausea started to pass thankfully.

Sitting up and rubbing his face with his hands he heard the door open and Donna stepped in.

"Your appointment is here, do you want me to bring anything… are you OK? You look a little green."

Harvey glanced at her. "I'm fine, send them in."

Focusing through the meeting was almost impossible. He had suspected already for a few days what was going on, but not knowing for sure had made it easier to cope. Now that he had confirmation, his head was spinning with fear, worry, anger, frustration and the teeniest, tiniest twinge of happiness. That particular emotion was the one that perplexed him the most. He did not want kids. Never even considered them. His life was pretty damn fucking awesome just as it was and he didn't need some snot-nosed brat ruining it all. So why was he feeling that tiny bit of happiness? The only possible explanation he could come up with was hormones, but it still ate at him.

When the clients had left, eyeing him strangely as he swallowed a gag from the gentleman's very powerful cologne, he attempted to get to work on sorting out the deal. But his concentration refused to cooperate.

Among many other things he had to concern himself with, was the father of his child. He remembered very little about the man. They had met in a bar, a somewhat seedy one at that, in an area of town Harvey didn't usually frequent. He had sought refuge in the dim, musky room, from all of the thoughts swirling in his head. That was the night he had realized that he was in love with Mike Ross. And he didn't have a fucking clue what to do about it; his best idea was to drink. As someone who really didn't get drunk that often, it hadn't taken long before he was sloppy and some guy was propping him up at the bar. Then that same guy was helping him into a cab, and getting in beside him. Then Harvey was kissing that guy and his next memories, though foggy and jumbled told enough of a story for him to know just how he had gotten pregnant.

He had no idea what the guys name was, only a vague idea where he lived, since that was where they had gone, and wasn't sure how in hell he would tell him anyway. Moreover, if he wanted to tell the guy since he wasn't sure what he was going to do with the baby himself.

The word baby stopped his thoughts. Up until that point, he hadn't referred to the entity currently residing in his abdomen as a baby. That made it more real than anything and suddenly he felt really guilty. Though he held no real opinion on the subject of abortion, he was now sitting wondering if that really was an option for him.

His career minded side was telling him to worry about himself and what this would do for the rest of his life. His human side was telling him that he had other options he could consider. Adoption for one. He rolled that thought around in his head for a few minutes. At the outset, it made him uncomfortable, someone else raising his child, the one that he was perfectly capable of raising himself financially. But could he do it emotionally.

He wasn't sure, but he did know that abortion wasn't what he wanted to do. He was going to have the baby, but now the real trouble was going to start. First of all, how the hell was he going to tell Jessica, or Donna or, and Harvey swallowed hard at this, Mike. Suddenly he felt incredibly embarrassed. What the hell was Mike going to think about him when he found out about this? He felt like a whore. How the hell could he have let this happen?

Just as the panic was spreading through his body his office door opened and Donna came in. She took one look at his face and closed the door behind her before approaching him.

"Harvey, what the hell is going on? Are you ill?" She looked genuinely concerned, clearly she thought he was dying of cancer or something and for one sick second Harvey wished that were the case.

"Not exactly." Harvey wasn't someone who normally needed friends to lean on, he was incredibly independent but this was one situation where someone else's opinion on the matter might prove incredibly helpful.

"What is it then?" The concern hadn't left her voice and that was comforting.

"I'm pregnant."

The way Donna wobbled, Harvey actually thought she might pass out. Instead she managed to stumble herself into a chair and continued to gape at him. His embarrassment was growing rapidly.

After almost two awkward minutes Donna finally found her voice.

"I'm sorry, what? You are not serious right now? You are joking right?"

Staring at his hands to avoid eye contact because he felt so ashamed, he just shook his head no, he wasn't joking.

"Holy shit Harvey. What the hell?"

He knew he should have expected this reaction, if someone were to write up a list of things that he would never do, this probably would top that list.

"I made a really, really stupid mistake Donna, really fucking stupid, and now I don't know what to do."

He glanced up at her to see if she was still in shock, but her face had softened a bit.

"I see. Well, putting all the other questions and thoughts I have aside, the obvious question is, do you want it?"

The exact thought he was already pondering when she had come into his office. The same panic crept up. He honestly didn't have an answer, and worse yet, wasn't sure when he would.

"I don't know. Fuck… I just… I really don't know."

She nodded slowly to that, understanding on her face.

"Fair enough, you still have time to think, you don't have to make a decision today."

"What do you think I should do?" He couldn't help it; he needed to know what she was really thinking.

"This isn't my decision Harvey…"

"I know it's not, but please, be honest with me, we always are with each other, what do you think I should do?"

She stared at him for a long moment, clearly trying to word her response carefully.

"Ok, you want my honest opinion, I think you should keep it."

He had no idea why, but for some reason, that was the answer he wanted. He knew what this meant, but wasn't ready to admit it to himself yet.

He nodded at her slowly, while continuing to contemplate his hands on his desk.

The door burst open and a breathless Mike followed the blast of air it caused, his eyes sparkling with excitement over something. He took in the scene in the office quickly though and seemed to immediately sense the more somber tone of the meeting going on.

"Sorry, am I interrupting something? I'll come back." And he turned on his heel to leave.

Harvey decided that he would continue talking to Donna later, and smiled at her softly, she caught the drift and rose.

"Mike, come back, what's going on?"

"It's nothing, I don't want to interrupt…"

"Mike, just spit it out."

Mike eyed him for a second, but then started chattering on about the case Louis had just given him. Harvey was surprised with how easily he resumed the usual banter with Mike, even throwing in a few digs at Louis, while his mind was still in turmoil.

Ever the observant one, Mike waited until they had finished their conversation about the case to finally ask Harvey what was wrong.

He couldn't help but laugh at Mike's eagle eye; the kid never missed a thing.

"Nothing is wrong. You better go talk to your client."

Mike eyed him again, suspicious lines about his brow, but he let it go.

"How should I approach him, he's not going to just give up the files."

"Mike, I'm not here to hold your hand, you have assured me you can sit at the adult table, now go on and prove it."

Mike looked a little wounded at this comment and Harvey felt his heart break a little. He still had absolutely no idea what he was going to do about his feelings for Mike. Even telling Mike to leave to go work on his case was hard; Harvey wanted nothing more than for Mike to stay, just to have his presence near. But he knew he had to focus on other issues and he would think about the Mike situation later.

As soon as Mike left, Donna came back in and resumed her position in the chair in front of his desk. They stared at each other for a few minutes. Donna finally broke the silence.

"How far along are you, do you know?"

He felt a little outraged at this question.

"I'm not a common street whore Donna, I know when I got pregnant. I'm about eight weeks."

Donna looked a bit flustered and quickly apologized.

"I know you're not a whore Harvey, I just didn't know if you had been to a doctor or anything."

"I just found out this morning, I've really not done much except throw up all week."

"Yeah, I noticed that."

He laughed softly; he knew she had noticed.

His phone buzzing ended their second attempt at talking about it, and the busy rest of day kept them apart entirely except to exchange business pleasantries.

Harvey found two minutes to quickly locate a doctor and make an appointment for the next day. He knew it would be more time off work, but Donna had made a good point, he needed to get a medical opinion.


The next day it was confirmed that he was indeed, eight weeks along. The doctor was far more chipper than Harvey would have liked, but he also seemed to be clueless as to who he was so he was reasonably assured of there being discretion in his case.

After he was told, quite gleefully, that everything was fine, that both of them were doing well, he made his escape from the overly pastel office.

He couldn't help but focus on the 'both of them' comment on the way to the office. Like how he had used the word baby in his mind the day previous, the thought that there was now indeed, two of them, was almost haunting, but not in a negative way.

He felt suddenly more conscious of himself, of his entire body and felt very protective over it. He made extra effort to avoid having someone bump into him, and double-checked before crossing the road.

Mike was standing at the bike rack when he made his way up to the front of the office. He looked a little surprised to see Harvey arriving so late. He was carrying his case file and clearly had been doing some work outside of the office before coming in.

"How is it I get shit for showing up late, but you just stroll in when you feel like it."

"When you earn the right to show up late, come talk to me then. How is the case coming?"

Mike glared at him for a second, he hated being reminded of his lower status in the office; something Harvey was keenly aware of. He hated using it as a weapon but sometimes it was his best deflection.

"Fine, a little creative work on my part and I got the files out of the guy pretty easy." Mike puffed his chest out a little in pride and Harvey couldn't help but smile, though he quickly turned his face away before Mike saw any of the real emotion behind that smile.

They rode up in the elevator in silence, mainly because the movements of the elevator now made Harvey feel seasick but Mike didn't seem to notice as he flipped through his paperwork. Harvey was horrified to find out just how much longer he would had to deal with the nausea and was really displeased to learn it could happen through the entire pregnancy. Donna had noticed; he had no doubt that others would as well before his belly started showing.

After Mike went on his way to the bullpen to keep working, Harvey made his way to his office, contemplating his next move.

Donna, not surprisingly, followed him in and sat down again.

"How are you feeling today?"

"Nauseous. Same as yesterday, and the day before."

"What did the doctor say?"

"That everything is fine, that I am eight weeks, and that I could puke the whole fucking time."

"Can he give you something for that?"

"Maybe, but evidently I just have to wait it out for the time being."

Donna sat quiet for a second, the next question clearly on her tongue.

He cocked his head to side at her, "what?"

"Are you intending on telling Jessica?"

Not if I can help it because I really don't want to, he thought.

"Not for a while, I won't be showing for some time, so I figure I can wait. Do more thinking in the meantime."

"So you are having the baby?"

That word stuck in his head again and he nodded.

"And you are keeping it?"

"I don't know that yet. That's the thinking I need to do."

"Fair enough." She paused and contemplated him curiously before asking "what about Mike?"

Harvey felt colour sliding up into his cheeks, and felt a little horrified; he never blushed. But he couldn't help but think, how much does she know?

"What do you mean, what about Mike?"

Donna fidgeted and Harvey knew immediately that she had noticed something about him and Mike.

"Donna?" He sounded a bit sterner than he intended but he needed to know what she was thinking, for the second time in two days.

"You're in love with him, aren't you?"

The heat in his cheeks turned cold, along with the rest of his body. But it seemed pointless to lie.

"Yes."

"Does he know about the baby?"

"No, I haven't told him yet, not sure how I'm going to…" Then suddenly he caught her drift, she thought Mike was the father.

"Wait, Donna, he's not… we haven't…"

Donna's mouth dropped open a bit and he could see her embarrassment at her assumption.

"Oh, I'm sorry, I just, I see the way you two are together and assumed… but that's what they say about assuming, it makes an ass out of you and I." She laughed nervously.

Harvey was a little stunned by this. Her picking up on his feelings for Mike was actually not that surprising, she knew Harvey best and was able to see when he altered in any way. But he was suddenly desperately curious as to what she had seen from Mike.

"What do you mean about us together? How we behave?" His fishing was transparent and he knew it, but really, did it matter?
"He orbits around you like you are the sun Harvey; he lives on your every word, your every smile. How have you not noticed this?"

"He has a girlfriend…"

"Who, Jenny? He broke up with her months ago."

"How did I not notice this?"

"Because you're you."

He knew what she meant; he was a self-absorbed ass most of the time, though this hadn't stopped him from falling in love with Mike.

She returned to her original question, though the meaning behind it had changed.

"What are you going to tell him?"

Harvey was reeling again from his stupidity that had gotten him into this mess in the first place. If only he had looked a little harder sooner, he wouldn't be pregnant with some stranger's kid right now, or he could be pregnant, but with Mike's kid. That thought threw him a little.
Donna was still waiting for an answer he realized and he shook his head and muttered 'I don't know.'

"You should tell him something, don't leave it until you are showing and he finds out through rumour or something."

He nodded, she was right. But he felt like he still had time, and he intended to use it.