So this was an idea I had written for a while, but I never put it down until this week. We all know Rayna has been a presence in Juliette's life long before they met through their music. And because I'm just fascinated with Juliette and her childhood, I wrote this little Juliette centric that eventually becomes a Javery story as well.
So, the Rayna songs used in this fic are This Love Ain't Big Enough, Already Gone, No One Will Ever Love You, Changing Ground, Stronger Than Me, Best Songs Come From Broken Hearts.
Hope you all enjoy! Please review and let me know if you liked it! I like reading reviews, they give me motivation.
This Love Ain't Big Enough
She heard the door slam closed.
Fear instinctively ran through her body, as she gripped her sheets a little tighter, letting the worn but usable quilt wrap offer her comfort.
Hearing lighter sounding footsteps than what she had expected, she sighed out a little in relief.
"Baby, you here?"
She grabbed her hair tie, pulling the greasy strands of her shoulder length hair back. "Yes mama, I'm comin'!" Opening the door to her room, she saw her mama sitting on the steps leading outside the trailer, holding the railing tightly.
"Baby girl, did you eat anything yet?" She saw her mother wobble a little, holding on to the railing still.
She nodded carefully, looking down shyly. "I went to Miss Karen's house, she made me a cake."
She saw her mother look down carefully at her, holding her gaze in and out. A slight look of clarity dawned on her face. "Baby, did I miss your birthday?"
She bit her lip. "It's alright mama, I know you were busy."
"Baby," her mama stumbled over to where was standing, pulling at the pajamas that were just a bit too small for a seven year old girl to be wearing. "I'm sorry. You know, my friend Chris had me go out on some very important business yesterday, and I just didn't get to make it back in time. You forgive me right?"
Looking over at the chapped lips on her mama's face, the dried blood on her elbow, and the dirt caked under her fingernails, Juliette nodded without looking into her eyes. As long as her friend Chris didn't come back; he scared her with his eyes always on her.
"Baby, you forgive me right?" Her mama grabbed her hand now, forcing her to look up by tilting her chin.
She had to respond. "Of course mama. It's not like it was anything special." Just another birthday right? She had seven already.
"What do you mean nothing special?" Her mama crouched to her knees so she was at eye-level. "Baby girl, you turned seven yesterday! Don't you know about the number seven?"
"What about it?" She asked curiously.
"Well," Her mama played with the ends of the hair in her ponytail, "Seven is a lucky number. And you know what that means?"
"What?" She asked, excitement growing.
"It means, you are gonna have a lucky year." Her mama smiled over at her, and she shouldn't help but smile back.
"Really?"
"Really." Her mama nodded back. "And next year, we're gonna throw you a big party, all for you. With pizza and ice cream, and all your friends there."
She looked down. "I don't got many friends mama."
"No friends?" Her mama looked at her carefully, before shrugging at her. "I don't believe you baby girl. How could anyone not love you?"
Her heart swelled at the words.
"You know what?" Her mama grabbed her hand, pulling her over to the small radio they had. "Who says it's too late to have a party now?"
"Now?" She looked over incredulously at her mama, who was shuffling through her collection of cassette tapes.
"Yes baby girl. Now!" She pulled out the tape she was looking for. "Just me and you."
As soon as the music started to fill the room, a smile broke out on her face.
This love ain't big enough
for the two of us
Locked 'n' loaded, it's high noon
Make my day
You son of a gun
This love ain't big enough
For the two of us
As her mama grabbed her hands and spun her around, she didn't even mind the way her hands shakily grabbed hers, or the smell of alcohol that she normally hated. All she heard was the voice of Rayna James through the second hand speakers and her and her mama's laughter in the trailer.
Already Gone
"Miss Barnes?" She heard a voice behind her.
Turning on her heel with a bright smile prepared, she saw a middle-age man with blackberry in hand.
"Hi sweetheart. My name is Glenn Goodman. I just you up there, you really blew everyone away!"
She could hear children in the background, laughing and playing. That's what you did at a county fair right?
"Thank you Mr. Goodman." Her voice came out syrupy sweet. "How can I help you?"
He smiled back carefully, looking around her. "Is your mama around?"
Her smile faltered a little, but she quickly recovered. "It's just me. I don't really got a mama."
"Sorry to hear that sweetheart." He smiled apologetically before continuing. "You got a daddy around anywhere?"
"Nope. Like I said, it's just me."
"Well," he didn't waste anytime continuing, "My job is to look for up and coming talent and honey, I think you have it."
"It?" She replied, half hopeful and half confused.
"Yep, it." He looked her up and down once nodding. "You got the voice, the talent, the likeability, the looks… the whole package. You're exactly the kind of teen we are looking for."
"Really?" She tried to hide her excitement, biting her lip to keep her composure.
"Really." He nodded back, looking back down at his blackberry. "You got a phone number I can reach you at?"
She pushed her hair behind her ears confidently. "How about you give me your number, and I can give you a call when you want?"
He looked at her carefully, but she kept her gaze steady. "Alright, let me give you my card."
He reached into his wallet, pulling out a business card and handing it to her. She gripped onto the card tightly, feeling the raised ink underneath her fingers like it was pure gold she was touching.
"I think with the right marketing, and if you move down to Nashville, we'll be able to set you up with some of the big record labels. Big Machine, Edgehill Republic… you heard of any of those?"
She shook her head. "Not really." She played with the fringes of the short checkered shirt she had pinned together in the back at the seams to fit her small waist.
He looked at her kindly. "You heard of people like Tim McGraw, or Rayna James?"
She mouth dropped. "Of course, who hasn't heard of Rayna James. Queen of Country right?" she laughed a little.
"That's what they call her."
Her eyes filled hopefully. "Do you think I'll be able to be like Rayna James one day?"
The man across from her laughed. "Maybe one day sweetheart. Let's take it one day at a time right? It takes time to be a legend like her."
"I can leave for Nashville whenever you want." Her voice gained power, partially masking the desperation. "Look Mr. Goodman, I told you. I don't have anything holding me here. Alabama isn't where I'm meant to be."
The man across from her once again looked her up and down, but there was kindness and concern behind his look. It wasn't the way those creepy men her mom let in their trailer at 2 am would look at her. "Well sweetheart, we gotta convince the people of Nashville you're good enough."
"I'll be good enough." Her voice interrupted him. "You tell me what I need to be, and I'll do it."
"Alright then. Call me next week, and we'll get you up to Nashville and introduce you to the right people."
In the background, she could hear the one of the other girls in the competition singing a Rayna James song. Normally that would have pissed her off, because singing Rayna James was a sure fire way to get the judges attention.
It's a long, long road to independence
But I'm leaving you for Tennessee
I got demons riding shotgun telling me not to go
But what they don't know, is I'm already gone
But she didn't care. She had already won. She had gotten her ticket out of here.
No One Will Ever Love You
"Do you want me to run it one more time?" She pulled off her earphones, fixing the bit of hair that had got caught.
The producer looked up at her. "I think we're good with what we need."
She sighed. "You sure? I don't think I got it down completely." Or at least what she could with a song about lip-gloss and cowboy boots.
He barely looked up from the soundboard. "Don't worry about it, we can fix it all back here. You'll sound great."
Her eyes burned.
"Something wrong?"
"Nope." She clenched her teeth. "So we done here?"
She could see the producer shuffle through his notes. "I think we're good."
She opened the door of the soundproof room and walked into the recording area. "What's the status of reserving the songs I asked for?"
He looked down carefully, before answering. "We're still waiting to hear back."
"Still waiting?" Her eyes were sharp. "They aren't going to give me the rights, are they?"
"Listen Juliette," he moved to put a hand on her arm, but she jerked away. What was this guy's name again? Nathan? Something standard like that. "The songs you wanted, they don't just give them out to anyone."
"I'm not anyone." She snapped back quickly. "I'm Juliette Barnes. I've gone multi-platinum twice for Edgehill now. I outsell any and every artist on the label. Why the hell can't I get the songs I want?"
He sighed. "You're asking for cataloged Deacon Claybourne songs. They don't give those out to anyone."
"Does he know that any song I cut of his will have him set financially for a good while?"
The producer moved to put his hand on her arm again, and this time she didn't pull away. "Those types of songs only go to certain artists. And it isn't in your fanbase demographic anyway, the focus groups already showed that."
Right. The damn focus groups that had rated the song she had written as the lowest she had ever gotten from them. That song had gotten scrapped by management before she had even gotten a chance to cut it to a real demo.
"So basically, I have to be freaking Rayna Jaymes to get those songs." She replied bitterly.
He didn't reply, only rubbed his hand further up her arm.
She rolled her eyes; she knew what he was getting at. Her reputation spoke for itself in that way. But he would do for now.
"You know, you're really good at what you do Juliette." The producer, whatever his name was, replied with a glint in his eyes. "Why would you want to change that?"
His arms moved up to her shoulders, softly massaging there. She looked at his blonde hair and blue eyes, eyeing his built body up and down.
Because I hate where I am. That was all she wanted to say.
But instead, she smiled, showing all her teeth. "You're right." She walked backwards, not breaking eye contact with him, reaching behind and locking the door to enter the studio area.
She moved back towards him, swinging her hips in a way that she knew would garner his attention. "Why don't you put the radio on?" She leaned her head up towards his ear. "Wouldn't want anyone to hear anything… out of the ordinary."
She saw his swallow excitedly, turning on the music playing on the speaker system throughout the entire Edgehill studio, watching as she unbuttoned her blouse torturously.
As she reached the last button, she realized what song was playing over the intercom.
Why you always looking for the limelight?
Ain't you satisfied with me?
For once why don't you get down off your high heels,
you're no big deal.
Can't you see? I know why you're lonely
It's time you knew it too.
Her eyes burned hearing Deacon Claybourne and Rayna Jaymes voices blend together. Country's golden couple turned sour. Proof that you can write a song like that and still not end up together.
But as felt hands exploring her body, teasing and touching, it wasn't the lyrics that were empty. It was her heart.
The purity of the lyrics hit her like a ton of bricks, catching her breathless.
"Hey baby, what's wrong, you uncomfortable?" he grabbed her bottom, pulling her on the chair he was on to straddle him. The hands on her hips gripped too tight. His hips moved against hers without care.
No one will ever love you. No one will ever love you.
No one will ever love you like I do.
I'm all you got.
I'm all you'll ever need.
Nobody needed her. That she knew for sure.
It's My Life
"Let me tell you something," she saw him lean forward, looking at her intently. "You're no throwaway. You don't have to keep letting the Wentworths of the world treat you like garbage. You've got to stop giving these people all your power."
She averted her eyes from his gaze, pushing her hair out of her face. When she looked back, his gaze was still steady, straight towards her.
He had this way of never wavering with her. She could be off in a million directions, at a million miles a minute, and he was still there, steady and sure.
It was a strange feeling, having that sort of person in her life. He had chosen to be here today, not because she paid him, but because he said they were friends. She had never had friends, especially not friends that would stick around and listen to how much she had screwed up her life.
And yet, he was still here.
She looked over at him looking down at his notes, making changes to the chord progression they had already outlined. The way his eyebrows furrowed, concentrating on the way he imagined the music sounding. She had never had anyone of his caliber take her seriously. And even though it was a damn shame he had been screwed out of a successful solo career, a part of couldn't help but be grateful that he had been brought into her life. It was selfish, but it was how she felt.
She lifted her legs up, resting her feet on the coffee table in front of her, grabbing her song journal again, reading over the lyrics for the millionth time.
"Juliette, the lyrics are fine, don't keep obsessing over them." He interjected, breaking her thought process.
"But," she turned the journal over, "Don't you think the second verse needs to be fleshed out a bit more?"
He leaned back, not even bothering to look at the journal she had placed in front of him. "The lyrics were perfect the first time I heard them. Don't overthink the song. It's saying what it needs to say right?"
"I guess." She sighed, biting her lip. "You don't think it's too simple?"
"My motto is always 'less is more'."
She raised her eyebrows. "I have never heard those words from your mouth. Ever."
"Well you know what I mean. I just think you don't need five words when you can say the same thing in one. Which you have."
He strummed his chords mindlessly as she looked over the lyrics one last time.
Suddenly, his guitar formed chords that she recognized, and it threw her out of her trance around her lyrics.
"You know Rayna Jaymes music?" She looked at him incredulously.
"Of course. Who doesn't?"
"Right." Her smile grew tight. "I just never pegged you for the Rayna Jaymes listening type."
"Unofficially I'm connected to her in more than a few ways I guess. Through Scarlett. Through you." He added at the end, throwing a soft smile her way that made her heart skip a beat. "But I live in Nashville now, and she is the queen of country. It's kind of impossible to not listen to her."
She listened to him continue the chords, and a memory hit her. Bumping into a sexy young guy backstage at the Opry, and then meeting the queen of country herself. She had met him before. He hadn't been hurt when he had brought up they had met before and she had said she didn't remember, but now she did remember.
"You know," he continued, "I always really liked this song." His guitar continued to strum. "It really was a song that made sense to me."
Hearing the chords, she could hear almost Rayna's voice filling in the lyrics.
You keep waiting for me to screw up
I'm a science project under a telescope
But you know what, everybody, sometimes, is gonna screw up
That ain't no reason for me to give
'Cause it's my life
And I'm gonna figure it out
It's time to figure it out
And it's my life
I don't feel like showing you what I'm all about
The lyrics had never really fully hit her until now. She looked over at the man across from her, and she realized he was the only one who truly knew what those lyrics meant in her life. And that was scary.
"You're right, it really is a song that makes a lot of sense."
Changing Ground
"You know exactly what you are. I meant what I said that day at your house. You are nothing more than trailer trash, covered in sequins."
He moved closer, gripping her arm tightly. Normally she would have jerked back, using force to push him off. But she didn't. It was like she was immobilized.
"Please. Just don't tell him." She could hear her voice desperate. Emotion welled in her throat. "I will do anything."
He stepped closer, grinning from ear to ear. Her body instinctively clenched at his proximity in fear. "I already got everything I wanted from you."
She regained composure. "I can't get out of my Highway 65 contract, I told you that before."
He rolled his eyes back. "Do you think I really want you on my label again? You singlehandedly destroyed it."
"You were singing a different tune not that long ago." She crossed her arms.
He ignored her comment and let go of her arm, pushing her back a little with force. It took her a minute to regain balance.
"We like to have a certain caliber of artist on the label. Marshall Evans saw you as marketable… but I don't even see that."
"I outsell any of those artists you have on your label." She gained back some confidence.
"You are a pretty face. That's all." He played with his cuff links. "There are a million 'Juliette Barnes' out there. You aren't hard to replace."
Giving him one last look, she tried to move past him to leave. Avery would be looking for her by now. She knew that song was for her, but the lyrics… if she had stayed there one more minute it would have been the death of her.
She winced as Jeff gripped her arm again tighter.
"By the way, I would have thought you would be a better lay." He sneered. "Guess you can't perform anywhere."
"What the hell is going on?" She turned and saw the one person standing at the door that she didn't want to be there.
"Avery." She breathed out, jerking out of Jeff's grasp. Behind him, she saw Zoey, Gunnar, and Deacon standing in the hall leading towards the backroom they were in.
Avery sidestepped her, rising toe to toe with Jeff. "I think you've overstayed your welcome. You're free to leave, or I can make you leave." His fists clenched.
"You might wanna ask your girlfriend if she wants me to leave. We seemed to have made quite a connection she might wanna share with you."
Her eyes burned, as she looked over at Avery's reaction.
But his face was emotionless. He stepped back from Jeff a little, before swinging straight at his jaw.
"Son of a bitch!" She saw Jeff grab his jaw painfully. Before he could move forward to retaliate, Deacon stepped in between.
"Like he said," Deacon's voice gained grit, "I think it's time for you to head out." Grabbing Jeff's arm forcefully, he pushed Jeff towards the door with a force that knocked him off balance. She could feel Jeff's eyes on her, but she didn't care.
"Avery." She tried to get his attention, but his eyes were focused downward. Looking anywhere and everywhere but at her. He moved backwards, closing the door to the side room softly. She only then realized that Deacon, Gunnar, and Zoey had all left at this point.
It was only them.
"Avery,"
"Juliette." He interrupted, closing his eyes a little. "Tell me what's going on."
"I don't think I can." She voice broke. Saying the words would change everything. She knew he deserved to hear them, but she couldn't bring herself to say it.
"I need to hear it. I want to be wrong about what I heard." He opened his eyes, looking straight at her. "Say it."
"Avery."
"Say it." He repeated, growling a little.
She closed her eyes, and felt the ground move beneath her. "I slept with Jeff."
She didn't look at his reaction, but she heard the sharp intake of breath. "When?"
"At the BMI party." She bit her lip painfully before continuing. "I was drunk and upset, and you weren't there. I don't know what else to say about it."
"Upset?" he threw his hands up in confusion. "What are you talking about? Because of the Scarlett stuff? I told you. I am with you."
"Right," she said bitterly, "But she has a permanent piece of your heart. She's your first love."
He stared at her a little, before sighing. "Juliette, I can't change that I met her first."
And she knew that. But that didn't make it hurt any less.
He moved closer to her. "I don't know what you think you know about my relationship with Scarlett, but you need to trust what I'm saying to you. I'm in love with you. No one is going to come along and change that."
She closed her eyes. "You don't know that."
"I do." He ran his arms up hers lovingly. "Did you hear what I just sang for you? I'm with you."
A chill ran up her spine, as she felt his soft touch. He wasn't angry? Her guilt clenched her heart. "Avery, I slept with another man. How can you be ok with that?"
"I didn't say I was ok with it." He looked at her curiously. "I'm just saying that it doesn't change how I feel about you."
Her head spun, as internal alarms started ringing. "You have no reaction to what I just told you?"
He looked at her, confused. "I never said that either."
"Why aren't you angry at me?" Her voice rang back confused, as she stepped back, crossing her arms.
"Because I know you." He looked down in shame. "I should have been there for you, been paying attention to what you were actually telling me."
She wanted to vomit. "Are you blaming yourself for me sleeping with Jeff?"
Anger she could take. Name-calling she could take. But this… it made her sick. The idea of him blaming herself hurt her more than anything else she could imagine. In that moment, she knew what she needed to do, before this went any further.
"Juliette,"
"NO." She spit out, her voice harsh. "What the hell is wrong with you Avery? Do you really have that much of a hero complex? I'm not your pixie ex-girlfriend that needs you to save her."
He clearly jerked back, taken by her reaction. "Hero complex?"
"I don't need you to feel guilty about yourself for what I did." Her voice grew stronger. "I made a choice."
He looked down, and she saw the guilt on his face mirroring the guilt she had felt since the BMI party. She hated herself, and she knew that he knew it. But the idea of him hating himself was something she couldn't take.
"And," she continued, " I don't think this is going to work anymore."
The air around them grew thick.
"What?" He furrowed his eyebrows. "What are you talking about?"
"I said," she repeated firmly, voice hard. "I don't think this is working out. I think we should end it now before we cause each other any more pain."
Too late.
"Is that," he cleared his throat before continuing. "Is that what you really want?"
"It is." She nodded, shutting down her heart as much as she could. "I told you once, I didn't believe in love. And I think I fooled myself into believing it was something I wanted. But its not."
"Juliette." Even just the way he said her name was full of pain.
She moved to grab her jacket, pulling it on confidently. "You and me, we weren't ever going to work out. I'm sorry if I let you think anything more than that." She played with the bracelet around her wrist. "We had fun while it lasted."
"Fun?" He looked at her, confused.
She put her hand on his forearm, but he jerked it away. "It's nothing personal. Its just time to cut our losses and move forward."
"Right. Cut your losses." She could hear the anger in his voice she had been waiting for. "You make it sound like a business deal. And I'm the dead weight you're trying to get rid of."
If only he knew how wrong he was. But she wouldn't ever let it slip.
"It just isn't right." She looked at him sideways. "No shame in moving on, instead of trying to fix something that isn't working."
"Alright then." She could see his jaw tightened. "If that's how you feel."
"It is." She interrupted quickly, nodding her head a little too eagerly. Crossing her arms, she took a deep breath to combat the sinking feeling in her stomach. "We can just go back to the way things were before… this." She motioned between them, as if that hand motion could represent everything they had. Everything that he meant to her.
He looked at her with absolute disgust, and it was painful and glorious to see at the same time. Moving closer, he practically spit out the words. "I can't do that."
"Then don't." She shrugged, looking down. "Whatever you want, I'll do."
She looked in his eyes, and almost lost her composure. "I want to be with you."
"That I can't give you." She stayed firm. He deserved better.
He looked at her one last time, and she could see he didn't recognize her. That made this easier.
Backing away, he moved towards the door, closing it behind him without a second glance towards her.
The silence filled the room, and she let some emotion reach her heart again, taking a few deep breaths. She sat on the couch in the room, gripping her knees tightly.
He was gone. And she was utterly alone, once again.
Resting her forehead on the couch, she silently let a few tears out, but no more than a few. If she really started, she wouldn't be able to stop.
A soft knock was heard at the door. "Juliette? Can I come in?" A soft voice rang out.
"Yeah sure come on in." She cleared her throat, wiping her eyes. The pretty caramel skinned girl stood in the doorway, hand on the doorknob. "What are you still doing here?"
"I figured you would need a ride home." Zoey replied kindly. "Gunnar and I stuck around, but Gunnar went after Avery, so I figured I'd wait for you."
"I can just call my bodyguard, he can be here in 20 minutes to pick me up."
"You sure?" Zoey shifted her weight, a bit nervously. "I wouldn't mind dropping you off since I'm leaving now. No questions or judgment for me, just a ride home."
She looked carefully at the girl she didn't know at all. But part of her instinctively trusted her, in a weird way.
"Sure why not." She rose, grabbing her purse. "Thanks."
Silently, they walked out to Zoey's car, and she got in, buckling her seatbelt, looking at the time.
"You know, you really didn't have to stick around."
"Figured it was the right thing to do. Avery's been my friend for a while." She started the car, pulling out of the church parking lot carefully.
"Right." She looked out the window, watching the houses go by. Perfect suburban houses, with families and love that she was never meant for.
"Hey, I said no judgment from me right?" The girls voice rang out. "We can turn on the radio if you want?"
"That would be nice." Anything to fill the silence. She saw Zoey flip through the stations quickly one by one.
"Wait." She said, hearing the song that filled the car. "Leave this station."
Zoey looked over at her and nodded, turning up the volume.
I have stood on the changing ground
I have walked like a man in chains
I tried hard to do my best
But I could not make my way
Stronger Than Me
"You wanna make this song a duet?"
Rayna nodded. "I'm thinking that our voices would sound really good together on it."
"Why don't you just pull Deacon in on this one?" She looked at the lyrics, blown away. "Not that I'm not honored to be singing it with you, but it's clearly for him. If anyone should make it a duet, it should be you two."
She saw Rayna sigh, leaning back on the couch cushion next to her. "Deacon and I, we're in a weird place right now. It probably wouldn't be appropriate to ask. And anyway, Avery suggested that I bring you in on this one."
"Avery suggested it huh?" Her back stiffened a little, as she ran her hands through the ends of her hair.
"He did." The older woman looked at her carefully. "Is that a problem?"
"Why would it be?"
Avery and her had a rather strange dynamic since they had ended. She had been working on her own album, and he had been producing a few other artists. Seeing him here and there still stung, knowing that he had most likely declined producing her album and had opted to yield the opportunity to another producer on the label. But even when they bumped into each other in the break room or the hall, it's not like they talked about anything of substance. Not like they used to.
But that was what she should expect, considering how she had hurt him.
She cleared her throat, continuing. "It's just that… I'm surprised that he would think my voice would be right on this song."
"He thinks quite highly of you Juliette." Rayna smiled at her softly. "And honestly, I agree with him. You would be a great addition on this song."
She looked up, breath clenched in her throat. How long had she waited for this moment? To be validated by the queen of country? In many ways, she still felt like that young 15-year-old girl, in a skirt two sizes too big, singing at the county fair for her big break. To be legitimized by the great Rayna Jaymes from Belle Meade… it was something she had never thought she had truly wanted until this moment.
"You have no idea what that means to me." She held back the tears in her eyes. "Honestly."
"Well girl, start believing it." Rayna smiles back, handing her the charts for the song.
As she looked over the charts, there was a soft knock on the door.
"Come on in!" Rayna called out, standing to greet Avery as he walked in. She turned towards her. "I hope its alright, I kind of assumed you would say yes and told Avery to come by. We can cut the song to a preliminary demo right now."
She smiled briefly at her ex, raising her hand in a wave that felt uncomfortable. Just like every interaction she had with him. "I guess that's alright."
"Great. Let's do this." Rayna breezed past them, setting herself up in the soundproof room.
She and Avery exchanged a look, as he looked down and laughed a little. "She's a force to be reckoned with, that's for sure."
"I like that she assumed that I would say yes and told you to come. What if I had said no?" She put her hands on her hips in faux anger, hiding her shortness of breath at his presence.
"Nobody says no to Rayna Jaymes. Isn't that in the rulebook?" He smirked, passing her the charts on the couch. "You better get on in there."
As she reached for the folder, their fingers brushed lightly, sending electricity through her body. By the way he had jerked back, she knew he felt it too.
She nodded curtly at him, practically bolting into the soundproof room, pulling her headphones on.
"You ready?" Rayna looked over at Juliette, looking for her ok. "Alright Avery, start up the playback."
Rayna started out the first verse, so strong and pure it nearly took her breath away. As they got to the chorus, she came in, fitting her voice around Rayna's.
Pour me something stronger
Pour me something straight
All these crooked voices, make them go away
I can barely stand up
I can hardly breathe
Pour me something stronger than me
Pour me something stronger than me
The words cut through her like a knife, and as she opened her eyes, she heard the playback had stopped.
"How was that Avery?" Rayna looked over for confirmation.
She looked over as well, seeing his face transfixed to hers.
"That was perfect."
The Best Songs Come From Broken Hearts
She stood outside the Bluebird, cautiously trying to sneak a glance inside.
"Will you stop that?" She heard Zoey behind her, hand in Gunnar's.
"Stop what?" She looked down, fixing her gaze away from the window.
The look Zoey gave her said it all. "You know he's going to be here. He works on open mic night."
"I know." She nodded, pushing hair behind her ears.
Zoey let go of Gunnar's hand, motioning for him to go inside and get them seats. "Are you sure you're gonna be ok with this? We won't be upset if you bail, seriously."
"No way. I came to see you and Gunnar perform, and that's what I'm gonna do."
She shook her head. "And as for him, we see each other at work. Everything's fine there."
Fine was an interesting term to use, but at least they didn't avoid each other like the plague anymore.
"Alright, if you're sure." The girl across from her smiled reassuringly, leading the way inside.
Taking a deep breath, she stood taller, and snuck into the back of the Bluebird, putting her stuff down at the table and heading back to the bar to grab a drink.
She leaned up against the bar, placing her elbows on cool wood to grab the bartender's attention. Ordering her drink, she looked around surveying the place for the millionth time. No matter how many times she was here, it was always a bit of a surreal moment for her. This place had so much history. Even just looking at the pictures on the wall made her feel inadequate. Closing her eyes, she could almost feel the warmth of the lights on the Bluebird Stage when she had sang here for her mama.
"Hey."
She was shaken out of her thoughts by a familiar figure next to her.
He continued before she could answer. "Didn't expect to see you here tonight."
"Zoey had mentioned that she and Gunnar were planning on singing tonight, so I figured I would swing by to see them." She grabbed her drink from the bar, taking a long sip. "I was surprised that you weren't playing with them tonight."
He rubbed his neck, laughing a little. "Not tonight. Playing with them is great, it's just hard being the permanent third wheel in that dynamic. Figured I'd give them tonight."
"I can see that." She smiled in return, soaking in the interaction between them.
"Hey Barkley!" The bartender who had given her the drink called out, "Are you gonna start working or just stand around?"
Avery smirked. "I'm here, I'm here." He went around behind the bar with an apologetic smile, taking a line of drink orders.
Even though she could clearly see her table, she stayed leaned against the bar instead, watching Zoey and Gunnar set up from back here. She's be lying if she said she had no idea why her body refused to move from the vicinity of the bar.
"Hey," the bartender who had given her the drink stepped on her side, "You're Juliette Barnes right?"
Her body instinctively tensed, like it did ever time anyone recognized her in a public setting. But looking over at his smile, she relaxed a little. "I am."
"It's a pleasure to meet your acquaintance Miss Barnes." He extended his hand to hers, and she shook it in response.
"Pleasure's all mine. But you gotta call me Juliette." She laughed a little, pushing her hair behind her shoulder. "And you are?"
"Eric. Been working behind the bar for a couple months now." He grinned, looking down at her. "What brings you around these parts?"
She motioned to the stage. "My friends are up there, and I came to see them play."
He nodded. "You know Zoey and Gunnar?"
"Been writin' with Gunnar for my new album, and Zoey's been on tour with me this year as well." She could hear her twang ringing loudly, in response to hearing his.
"That's great." He nodded clearly. "Have you ever been to open mic night?"
She raised her eyebrow at the length of this conversation. "Nope. I've been to special performances, but not open mic night."
She saw his grin grow, as he reached behind the bar, pulling two napkins out. "Then you're in for a treat." He pushed a pen and napkin towards her.
"What's this about?" She looked back, confused.
"This," he replied, "Is our rating system. It's my way of making this night bearable. Some of these acts are really amazing, and some are just… not."
Her eyes still held confusion. "So what's the napkin for?"
"Well," he reached over, grabbing her hand lightly to position her pen on the napkin, "You write down the name, and write one word to describe the entire performance. It's actually quite entertaining."
She raised her eyebrow, but eventually conceded. It was either this or going and sitting at her table alone. And Eric seemed nice enough. "Sure, why the hell not?" She grabbed the pen, writing down the first act name.
After three acts, she had tears streaming out of her eyes in laughter.
"Seriously though, "hair" is the perfect word to describe that performance though."
"It's all I could see!" she let out through her laughter. "Did she not brush it before she got here?"
"Now that's mean." He moved a bit closer to whisper during the performance. "And to be fair, her hair was probably to distract from the fact that she's been off tempo from her guitar this entire time."
"And that bridge, dear god." She rolled her eyes. "Did she just decide to piece random words together?"
He looked over at her, putting his arm on the bar behind where she was standing. Her back grew a little stiff feeling the proximity, but she tried to play it off nonchalantly.
"Hey Eric." She heard a voice come closer. Avery. "Didn't know you'd still be here."
"I am." Eric pulled his arm back. "Been here the entire time."
"Didn't your shift end," Avery looked over at the clock for confirmation, "like an hour ago?"
"It did. Just been hanging around since then." He looked down at her and smiled, but she moved a step away from him.
"Right." Avery smiled tightly. "Juliette, can I get you something else to drink?"
"I can get it for her, don't worry man." Eric interjected. "You got enough customers to handle right now."
"I can handle it, don't worry about me." Avery looked clearly annoyed, even she could see that. "Juliette?"
She cleared her throat. "I'll take whatever's on tap."
"Seriously man," Eric moved behind the bar, grabbing a frosty glass laid out. "Don't worry about it."
Avery moved dangerously close to Eric, blocking his path. "Like I said, you're off your shift."
"What's your problem? I'm just trying to help."
Avery laughed bitterly, and his voice lowered to the point where Juliette had to crane her head to hear their conversation. "I know what you're trying to do."
"What, do you own her now?" Eric motioned to her, clearly aware of the fact that she was listening in. "We were just talking. That's it."
"Like hell that's it." Avery's voice came out rough. He looked over at her watching their interaction, and his face changed a little, sinking in defeat. "You know what?" He backed up, hands in the air, "Do whatever you want."
Her eyes followed him moving back to help other customers, and her heart couldn't help but drop.
"Sorry about that." Eric came back, sliding the beer behind her. "I didn't think he would be that… aggressive about me coming back there."
She crossed her arms. "That was a bit of a surprise to me too." And yet her eyes stayed on him, talking to others at the bar.
"Do you know Avery well?"
"Do I know him?" She looked at him and laughed. "Yeah, I guess you could say that."
Eric looked at her carefully, and now she just wished that Gunnar and Zoey would get up and sing already so she could leave. "I'm sorry, am I missing something?"
"Avery and I dated. We both work at Highway 65, and he toured with me before that. So yeah, I guess you could say we know each other."
"Really?" Eric looked at her incredulously.
"Really." She sighed before continuing. "Listen Eric, you seem like a sweet guy. And it's been fun tonight, but if you're looking for more… I'm really not interested. I'm here to watch my friends perform."
"I get it." Eric smiled at her, looking back between her Avery. "Really I do. And I do hope to see you around here more."
She smiled back, genuinely. "I'd like that too. See you around." He left with a small wave.
Leaning back against the bar, she clapped for the performer on stage that had just finished.
"You alright?"
She turned around, looking at Avery carefully. "I'm fine Avery. He was just being friendly."
"I guess." He cleared his throat. "Sorry about that. I don't know what got into me there."
"I don't need to be protected Avery." She replied. "I can take care of myself."
"Never said you couldn't." He looked back, grabbing her beer glass and putting it with the other dirty glasses.
She wanted to elaborate, but was cut off by the sound of Zoey's voice over the mic.
"Hey y'all. I'm Zoey Dalton."
"And I'm Gunnar Scott." Gunnar interjected, while adjusting the strap on his guitar.
"And we are here to sing a little song that you might now. It really doesn't need any introduction."
Zoey looked over at Gunnar to cue him, smiling brightly. The love and admiration between the two was palpable.
I stood in the street in the pouring rain
Didn't give a damn about anything
I said take me,
Oh Lord, just take me
Zoey's voice rang loud and clear, and the lyrics of the song through her back to the last time she had heard Rayna sing it: the night she had been invited to join the Opry.
Cause the best songs come from broken hearts
From busted dreams and beat up guitars
From times like these
When I'm down on my knees
It's true
Ya gotta dig deep within
The well of your soul
To find the will to sing the words
That only you know
About going through hell and
Living to tell the truth
But the best songs come from broken hearts
She remembered everything about that moment. The way the crowd had lept to their feet, the sound of Rayna's voice announcing that she was being invited to join the Opry… everything. That was a memory she would have forever.
But mostly, she remembered hearing the song after her invitation, and truly listening to the lyrics of the song. Like she had a million times with her mama. Music had always been her way to heal her own broken heart; it's why she had always loved this one. Music had been her way to dig herself up out of everything that had gone wrong.
But it wasn't music that had healed her heart. It wasn't music that had made her believe that things could go right. It was him.
"Avery." She called out, pressing both her hands on the bar to lift herself up. Her heart beat faster when he approached. "When are you going to be off?"
"In a half hour." He looked at her curiously. "Why?"
"I just need to talk to you." Her eyes flittered over his face, judging his reaction. But he remained stoic.
"Hey Leslie," he called to a waitress walking around, "You mind covering for me for five minutes? Thanks." He motioned for her to follow him into the small side hall, where the staff kept their belongings laid out.
"Are you alright?" He stood in front of her, positioning her body against the wall so that he could press his hand against the space next to her head. Leaning forward he continued. "You looked like there was a problem."
Without any other words, she slid her hands up his neck, pressing her lips to his. At first, she could feel him pull away in shock, but she quickly felt him respond, moving his body closer to hers until there was no space left between them. She felt his tongue run across her bottom lip slowly, as her hands ran through his hair.
He wrapped his arms around her waist, and she slipped her hands in his back pocket. It always amazed her how perfectly her body fit against his. It was amazing how right this was.
He pulled away first, resting his forehead against hers. "That wasn't fair."
"I know." She bit her lip softly, causing him to pull away a little. "It wasn't."
"What's going on Juliette?" he furrowed his brow slightly. "I'm confused."
"I am too." She sighed, grabbing the open ends of his button down shirt. " All know is…I just miss you."
"I miss you too." He titled his head at her carefully. "Really. I do."
"Can that be enough?" She moved closer, grabbing his hand and holding it up to her chest tightly, tight against her heart.
"I don't know." His hand that she was holding intertwined fingers with hers. "Why don't you tell me?"
She flashed to the words she told him at the fundraiser. She could see the way he carried those words with him in that moment.
"I know I have a lot to answer for that I haven't." She looked at him eyes glassy. "But is there any chance we can just start new?" Or as new as they could for two people who loved each other and knew everything about each other.
He was the guy who could raise her higher than any, and crush her harder than any.
"I know it's asking for a lot, and I know I don't deserve it." She bit her lip. She didn't deserve it. She deserved to answer for the things she had done. But this was Avery. She'd be damned to not go all in or nothing with him.
"You and me?" He looked at her carefully, eyes examining her reaction.
"You and me." The words felt comfortable on her tongue for the first time since before she could remember. It was right. It was the way it should be. The way she had always wanted it to be, even when she didn't know it.
Hearing clapping in the background, she knew the song had finished. But as she felt Avery kiss her forehead softly, it felt like a beginning in all the ways that mattered.
Hope you guys liked it!
