"If you wanna break up with me so you can see other woman, just do it. Don't tell me you met another woman, just end it if that's what you want." She stood with her hands on her hips.

"I can't-" he argued.

"Sure you can. Here's how it goes: 'Meredith I don't want to see you anymore' 'Meredith I don't love you anymore' "

"Meredith. I do love 't you see? Don't you understand?" He rubbed his thumb on her cheek.

"You're the love of my life. I can't leave you." He said softly. her lips curved into what looked like an almost smile and his eyes were soft. But then his eyes changed to a darker shade of blue.

"But you're constantly leaving me." He stated.

The panic rose in her eyes and she was caught of guard. She couldn't help but feel guilty.. It was true, but she couldn't admit it to herself let alone Derek.

"You walk away when you want, you come back when you want. Not everyone, not your friends, but you leave me. So I'm asking you,if you're not in this, if you don't see a future for us, please... Please just end it cause I can't because I'm in this." He licked his lips and took a deep breath.

"Put me out of my misery." He whispered.

His words stung. They hurt her. took her breath away. She wanted to run. She needed to get away, this was too much for her.

"I... I can't... Cristina's getting married. I have to go make sure she gets married." She stuttered, not capable of making eye contact with him.

"Meredith." He sighed.

"I really need to make sure she walks down that aisle." She argued. Her eyes moving back and fourth.

He took a breath and nodded. He knew she would run, or find an excuse. She couldn't do this. So her only option: to back away and leave him yet again, to push him away and to run.

"Let's go, we're running late." He breathed.

She turned and walked towards the door, her head down in what seemed coweringly.

He followed a little farther behind, looking up at the ceiling, one hand in his pocket.


The doors slowly opened. A small frame entered. Curled hair, brown dress, the heels... crystal blue eyes. Her head was tilted down and then popped up. She took a breath and made her way down the aisle.

He knew. He always told himself, 'when you know, you know.' His eyes flickered on her as she made her way up the stairs.

She took a long gaping look at him before she turned around to face the pews. She stared, her mind trying to form words. And then she opened her mouth.

"It's over." Two words, two meanings.

"You can all leave." Four words. One meaning.

"It's over." She repeated. Two words, two meanings. Almost trying to convince her into the realization that it was over.

She looked down at her hands, as she was mingling thing she did very often when she was nervous.

And then she was walking back down the aisle again.

Tears stung his eyes.

All eyes were on her ass she continued walking with her head held high. Addison looked at her the entire time. Mama and mom looking in shock.

And then she was gone.


She stood there. Silently just stood there. she heard the doorknob turn and she turned with it. Meredith appeared at the door. She walked in, looking for sight of him. Nothing.

"He's gone." Was all she said. Her voice almost broken.

"I.. I dont think he's gone. His..his stuff is still -" She looked around, as to prove her point.

"No." Cristina cut her off.

"His trumpet was here." she walked over to the chair in the corner.

"His entire Eugene book collection was here." She ran her hand along the book shelf where his books once were.

"Vinyls and CDs." She stated, looking down below where the books once were.

"And his grandmother's picture was by the bed." Her heels clicked as she made her way to the entrance of what was once their room.

"His lucky scrub cap was hanging on the door." She looked at the door handle as she backed away.

She turned and over looked everything.

Meredith stood there in silence, following Cristina's gazes.

She turned around, "He's gone." Her emotions had gotten to her, effecting her tone as she was about to cry.

Meredith stood and looked at Cristina as she began to unravel.

"I'm... I'm, free." She breathed.

"Damnit." She whispered Cursing at herself as she began to cry, doing something she didn't do... Feel.

"Damnit." She breathed, her emotions catching up to her as she began to get worked up.

"Damnit damnit damnit." She spoke, her voice getting stronger as the tears streamed down her face.

She grabbed at the choker that Mama had given her to wear as tradition, motioning that she couldn't breathe and needed it off of her now.

Meredith made her way over to Cristina.

"Get this off me." She said calmly.

"Get this off me!" She yelled, the tears streaming down her face faster and her sobs racking her body even more.

Meredith walked behind her and unhinged the clasp. Cristina immediately threw it to the floor.

She grabbed at the back of her dress, wear the zipper was, trying to get off her dress.

Meredith ran to the kitchen and came back with a pair of scissors. She effectively unzipped the dress and peeled it off of Cristina.

Once Cristina stepped out of the dress, she grabbed for Meredith's hands and pulled them to wrap around her waist. She needed that comfort.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

After Cristina had somewhat calmed down, Meredith and her were sitting on the couch. Cristina was resting her head on Meredith's shoulder, her hand in Meredith's.

"Well," she spoke for the first time in over an hour. Her voice was raspy from all the crying.

"We have two plane tickets and a hotel in the Bahamas for the next seventeen days." She stated.

Meredith blinked. "That'd be really nice. We should use it." She replied in a soft tone.

"I'd have to go home and pack my things." She stated. "You can pack and then I can come back and pick you up." She asked.

"No... I'll pack and theN come with you." She stated.

"Okay."

Cristina got up and walked into the bedroom.

Meredith could hear the drawers opening and Cristina walking around the room.

She sighed. She had ended it with Derek when she stood up in front of all those people. The double meaning to her words. She didn't know what to do. She couldn't confront him, she was scared. She looked at the opportunity to go to the Bahamas with her bestfriend for the next seventeen days as a way of running, but she wanted to.

"Okay I'm ready... I think." Cristina appeared at the kitchen table. She had a big suitcase and a carryon backpack. She had changed out of her wedding dress and under dress into Seattle type clothes to keep her warm.

"Alright let's go."