Bonjour! This was inspired by a really weird conversation I had with MelodiDam... I can't even remember what it was really about, but this is what came from it! And yes, the ending is meant to be just as suggestive as it sounds. ;-)


"Kilts, Doctor?" Rory entered the console room, messing with the pleated fabric to try and make it less weird. It wasn't working.

"Of course! We're in Scotland! That's what Scottish people do!"

"But I'm not Scottish, Doctor! I don't really see why…"

"Because your wife is, stupid-face, so wear the stupid kilt and stop complaining already!" Amy put an end to the argument with a final huff, her voice taking on a distinctly more prominent accent than normal as she ordered her red-faced husband around. She herself couldn't complain; the green cotton dress she was wearing was quite comfortable, and pretty to boot.

"Exactly. See, Rory? Even Amy agrees. So! Here we are! 1737, a golden year! At least, I think… You know," the Doctor rambled on as he pranced about the console room, making final adjustments and generally being a ball of energy. "It's a common misconception that kilts have always been popular in Scotland. They weren't though; there really wasn't any big rave about them until the 1700's, when the Scottish started to have an identity crisis and –"

"And what about your kilt, Doctor?"

"Me? Pshaww. I don't need a disguise. I blend right in, me!" He snapped his braces proudly, and grabbed his coat, heading for the door. "So anyways, they wanted something distinguishing, so they – "

"Do you ever stop talking? No, wait, I already know the answer to that one." A new voice joined the mix after a slight pop and the Doctor turned on his heel, a slow smile gracing his features.

"Well you would, wouldn't you?" Rory was quite sure there was an innuendo there; he was just thankful he didn't know what it was.

"Well of course, sweetie; I do know everything. E-spec-i-ally about you." She drew out the last word, adding a slight wink at the end meant only for her husband. "Now then, daddy; where are you headed dressed like that?"

"See? I told you it looked ridiculous!"

"We were going to Scotland – you know, visiting my ancestor's home, or whatever. Joining us?"

"No, dear, that's alright. Why don't you and Rory go on ahead, do some sight-seeing together? I have some business to attend to with the Doctor, here." Amy caught the suggestive tone of her daughter's voice and rolled her eyes, smiling. She grabbed her husband's arm and pulled him to the door of the TARDIS.

"Business? What kind of business? I wanted to go to Scotland, River! And we're leaving the Ponds by themselves!"

"Trust me, my love, they'll be fine." The door of the time machine snapped shut.

"Now then," she said, backing the Doctor up against the console. "Kilts?"

The Doctor raised an eyebrow, spinning them and lifting River up onto the console itself. "What? They have their advantages." He leaned in to kiss her, his tongue delving into her mouth.

"Really?" She said, when she had caught her breath. "Don't suppose you'd care to give a demonstration?"


There we are! Thanks again to my best friend, MelodiDam for the sort-of prompt, and I hope y'all enjoyed!

-Reinette


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