Drakken: Zero – Shego: Infinite!

Disclaimer: I don't own Kim Possible OR most of the quotes here. I'm sorry if I offend anyone – if you have a problem with a quote then please don't hesitate to review me about it. Remember, don't sue – complain!

I'm going to put this: () next to the quotes that I own (or my friends own – none of them care if you steal them, and neither do I, really!) btw.

Summary: Shego has always been better than Drakken when it came to insults, wise-cracks and just words in general. This is a fic to add to the already huge collection of priceless Shego-Drakken moments. Includes other characters but Shego centric.

NOTE: I'm just gonna let you figure it out since it's not actually that hard (I don't think…) but anyway, I'll give you some indication of the setting, before going into the scene like I would with an ordinary fic. ENJOY!

Chapter 1 –

-Unknown place (Drakken and Shego are stealing something, KP and RS show up to stop them)-

"You know, Shego, I really would have thought you'd be over the whole 'take-over-the-world' thing by now. I always assumed you had a brain under that hair and bad outfit."

Shego smirked at Kim. "Hmm, for such a dumb kid you've got a pretty smart mouth." She commented calmly, not phased in the slightest. Kim blinked at her for a few seconds, before growling as she understood.

Shego smirked wider.

"Shego!" barked Drakken angrily. All eyes turned to him and he pouted. "…I don't get it." He whined.

Shego rolled her eyes and launched herself at Kim.

Let the games begin.

-Drakken's latest lair (a/n: the lair will change, so details (if there are details) might as well, btw) – Drakken is ranting to Shego about his latest doomsday plot-

"And that, Shego, is how I WILL CONQUER THE WORLD! BWAHAHAHAH!!"

Shego rolled her eyes as the synthodrones all laughed along with Drakken.

"I'm surrounded by idiots, but I'm sure they mean well." She said in a false and perky tone.

Drakken and his drones stopped laughing to watch as Shego stalked out, her sarcastic-comment-of-the-moment fulfilled.

-Drakken's lair (same as before – see above)-

"Hmm, huh? Shego, were you listening to me?!" yelled Drakken, as he stopped his maniacal laughing to find Shego nodding calmly, inspecting her fingernails like she had been doing all through his explanation.

Shego looked up at this and shrugged, before going back to her nails.

"You're insane, aren't you?"

Drakken faltered and stopped, blinking at her.

"Wha-what?" he asked blankly. Shego smirked.

"You heard me." She replied smoothly. Drakken ground his teeth together and stormed out angrily.

Shego's smirk widened.

"Just as I thought."

-Drakken's lair, where he is STILL ranting about a new invention or take-over-the-world-thing to Shego- (a/n: this is the easy one, ya know?)

"BEHOLD, SHEGO! THE MIGHTY…ONE-EYED ROBOTIC GOLOMPAGUS!!!"

Shego looked up at the huge, one-eyed, and simply revolting robot that Drakken proclaimed to be his latest 'break-through', and paled.

"Whadda ya gonna have it do? Scare everybody into submission? Or will you wait until they're all puking first?" she asked sarcastically.

Drakken scowled at her smirking face. "NO! It's going to attack and blast through buildings and anything in its path using its lazer-ray in its eye!!" he cried madly.

Shego shook her head. "Well, this is certainly foreboding. You really have to work to get this level of menace in a building. But not so much that level of ugliness. Look at your synthodrones, for example." She taunted.

Drakken clenched his teeth and growled, before stomping out.

Shego grinned to herself, before flicking a handful of her special green flames over her shoulder, humming softly as the One-Eyed Robot Golompagus began to melt as the flames triggered the lazer to slowly wear through the robot's feet.

As the sounds of many retreating and dying synthodrones followed, she hummed louder and pulled a nail-file from under her seat, and began to file her nails.

But as Drakken came back in and saw his beloved break-through melting under its own lazer, Shego turned to watch as her 'boss' screamed.

She laughed, got up and walked out, still laughing.

"Wow, and there I was thinking that thing couldn't possibly be any uglier!" she called back mockingly.

-Shego and Drakken fighting KP and RS – KP and Shego have been fighting and both are very tired-

Shego and Kim stood opposite each other, both panting from their fight. Kim was wavering on the spot, and although she didn't show it as much, Shego was about at that point too.

Shego smirked at the battered redhead. "You know, Kimmie, either your luck or your knees are going to give out sooner or later." She pointed out. Kim glared weakly at her, and let Ron drag her away.

"Oh yeah?" called back Ron. Shego smirked wider, waiting to see what he would say. "Well…you have big hips!"

Shego's eyes went wide at this. "Are you kidding? Have you seen Drakken's mom's? And just why were you looking at my hips?" she asked, tapping her foot angrily. Ron's face went through several different colours before settling on an unbelievably deep scarlet.

Shego smirked at him, turned, and walked away, shaking her hips purposefully.

"Oh dear, there goes 90 of the stupidity." She said mock-sadly as Ron and Kim hurried away again.

Drakken frowned. "Wait…there was a 10 intelligence factor?" he asked.

-Drakken and Shego are in some weird machine – Drakken is trying to go through his plan to take over the world and Shego is just trying to, well, be Shego-

"And finally, I shall – SHEGO WILL YOU STOP THAT!?!"

Shego grinned up at Drakken from her place in the seat beside him, from which she had calmly been pulling parts of the gel wrist-rest from the keyboard of the built-in computer to flick over her shoulder at Drakken's head whilst he ranted. Again.

-flick-

-pause-

-bounce-

"Grrrr…!"

-flick-

-pause-

-bounce-

"GRRR…!!"

-flick-

-pause-

-bounce-

"GRRRRRRRRR…! SHEGO! STOP IT!!!"

Shego grinned and laughed as Drakken blew a fuse.

She watched with interest as Drakken shot up from his chair beside her to glare down at her, a furious glint in his eye.

"Shego…" growled Drakken as he tried fruitlessly to remain calm. "Why do you insist on annoying me?"

Shego beamed and batted her eyelashes up at him.

"Well, my one goal in life is to annoy as many people as possible – no pun intended. If you end up on the butt end of that ambition, then, hey, too bad! It's nothing personal – just a life dream." She explained innocently.

Drakken groaned and sat back down.

"There aught to be a law against women like you." He grumbled.

Shego grinned. "Would that ever stop me?" she teased.

Drakken groaned again and hit his head on the controls.

Shego watched for a few seconds, shrugged, then resumed flicking the gel at him.

-flick-

-pause-

-bounce-

-grin- -groan-

-At Drakken's lair. Drakken is trying out his latest doomsday device, and Shego's watching on, not believing it would ever work-

"…Hehe. See, Shego? It does work! MWAHAHAHAHA!"

Shego sighed and shook her head as Drakken laughed manically, making him unaware of the red light flashing on the screen.

"HAHAHA…oh? Oh dear…"

Shego smirked to herself as she looked round the corner she was taking cover behind, just in time to see Drakken notice the red light.

-BOOOM!-

Shego quickly flattened her back against the wall, wincing slightly as an enormous explosion sounded from Drakken and his new machine in particular.

She smirked to herself and walked back round the corner after a quick glance to see that there was still a floor round the corner waiting for her.

"Hmm, hey Dr D." she called in her usual manner, smirking as always. "Did the definition of genius change in the past three seconds or something? I think that's how long it took you to notice you'd set the self-destruct to 'go'." She taunted.

Drakken, who was half-buried in rubble from the ceiling, and fried circuits and other parts of his failed device, groaned, before a piece of the ceiling above the one that had collapsed crashed down on him.

The remainder of the groan came out squeaky and pain-filled. Shego noticed that Drakken's eyes were unusually wide – like in one of those cartoons on a Saturday morning show that Shego never watched, for your information – giving her the impression that the last piece of ceiling had caused something to fall very hard onto the place where no man wants to be hit.

Letting out an 'Ooooooohh…' of mingled sympathy, amusement and empathy, Shego winced a little at the look on his face.

She raised her fingers and let out a piercing whistle. "Hey! Synthodrones! Get down here and clear Dr. D up!" she yelled. Shego paused and shuddered before continuing as she walked away. "I don't wanna be the one to see what happened to his balls…" she muttered.

-Drakken's lair and for some reason Shego is making lemon juice-

Drakken stopped short as he walked into his new 'evil kitchen'.

"...Err, Shego?" he asked cautiously, "Is there a reason you're juicing lemons?"

Shego turned round, her eyebrows raised in mild surprise. She smiled. "Not really, no. I was gonna see what happened when I gave it to one of your synthodrones, but then I decided I'd just waste your lemon supply." She replied in a conversational tone.

Drakken blinked at her. "O-kay?" he muttered uncertainly. Shego smirked at him and turned back to the lemon in the juicer.

"Shego?"

Shego sighed and turned again. "Yes?"

"…Why lemons?"

"Oh, I found some cool sayings with lemons in. And, they're the dodgy fruit (1). And you know I'm a sucker for irony, and since you love porn so much, I thought that -"

"-Shego!" cut in Drakken angrily, leaving Shego to laugh at his reddening face. "I do not like porn!" he grumbled quietly.

Shgeo rolled her eyes. "Whatever, Brainiac. You wanna hear these sayings?" she asked. Drakken cocked a brow, but nodded.

"Go ahead."

"Number one: when life gives you lemons, make orange juice…then sit and ponder how the HELL you got orange juice from lemons."

Drakken laughed and motioned for her to go on.

Shego, enjoying the audience, continued.

"Number two: When life gives you lemons, make lemonade with extra sugar and give it to little kids and laugh as their parents try to run away from them."

Again, Drakken laughed, and Shego merely smirked as she envisioned the scenes of pure chaos she could probably create like that.

"Number three: When life gives you lemons, make apple juice and laugh as the fools try and figure out how you did it."

Drakken grinned. "You know, I quite like that one." He commented thoughtfully.

Shego smirked. "So that's why I got the lemons." She said calmly.

Drakken thought over her last few words, and frowned.

"Shego?"

"Hmm?"

"…What are you making?"

Shego smirked to herself, but didn't let Drakken see.

She poured the juice she had made into the glass, and neatly pushed the rest of the lemons into the bin, dropping the juicer and knife in the sink as she passed it.

Drakken was about to go after her for an answer, when her voice floated back to him.

"Raspberry juice, of course."

-Drakken's lair, evening. Shego finds Drakken sat at a table, pondering something-

Shego blinked at Drakken, before sitting at the table so she was opposite him.

"What's up?" she asked somewhat warily. Drakken looked up as if seeing her there for the first time.

Shego reminded herself that this was probably correct; considering it was Drakken she was talking about.

Drakken sighed. "I was just thinking…how do you know if you own something?" he asked suddenly.

Shego blinked at him, and then shrugged.

"How should I know? Right now all I own are my socks, and I'm barefoot!" she laughed. Drakken adopted a puzzled expression, amusing Shego greatly.

"…Then, whose robe is that?" he asked, pointing to the black bathrobe she wore.

Shego looked down at it and smiled.

"Let's just say Kim Possible with have trouble finding the robe she bought this morning when she gets out the shower tonight." She said sweetly.

With that said, she stood up and walked away again, leaving a thoroughly repulsed Dr Drakken behind her, still sat at the table.

"…I don't want to know what else she's wearing that belongs to Kim Possible." He muttered with a shudder.

From the kitchen, Shego laughed.

"Aww, c'mon, she has good taste in thongs!" she teased.

Drakken's cheeks and eyes bulged, as his face turned from blue to green.

He ran for the bathroom, Shego laughing all the way.

"Geez, Drakken…I was only joking!" she added happily, slinking away again.

"Now…she tells me!"

-Setting not needed-

Shego took Drakken's hands in one of her's.

"Look Dr D…if it helps, I know how you feel." She said, her expression urging happiness and sympathy. Her face quickly changed to a smirk and a thoughtful look.

"On the other hand, though, I just don't care."

"Wha-?!" stammered Drakken as Shego released his hands, got up and walked off without as much as a backwards glance.

(1) Lemons are the dodgy fruit - you know on fanfic a lemon stands for a graphic sex scene, right? well i therefore named lemons the dodgy fruit. Pass it on!!

thanks for reading, pretty please review! naioka1992 - xoxo